Look Up

1..2..3.. we all get up together.

2006-04-25T23:13:54Z

It's really quite amazing how much can change in a year.

welllll, there's about two months left of high school and then it will be time for prom, then I'll finish online school, and then.. Concordia!?! I'll be off to Montreal for a whole new life. Basically it's all I can think about. I don't even feel that nervous anymore, I just really want to get there. I'm thinking I might just move there early for the summer and get a job there. I don't know, but I'm defintely excited.

I'M GETTING MY NEW CAMERA MAYBE THIS WEEK=love!

this journal is LAME.

LOVE STACE!

i'll be there painting the town your favourite colour.

2005-10-04T02:42:27Z

Today I'm seventeen. I feel eleven. A lot has changed in a year, yet everything still seems so much the same to how it was last year at this time. In the past year I've learned about hope and how to trust it, and to have faith in it. I've learned the meaning and value of a freind. I've learned what it's like to have loved and lost. I've learned that anyone will let you down at anytime. I've learned what it's like to meet people that have a heart so big without even knowing it. I've learned to respect people in different ways. I've recently learned what it's like to take part in this experience of which they call "work", and I'm really liking it. I've learned that I'm going to have to take comfort in knowing the future will bring better days. I've learned what family is all about. There's things I'm understanding about myself that I wish I wasn't. One important thing that I've learned recently is that things can only be as good as you make them. As everyone's growing up and changing, I still feel like a kid and I'm not sure if I'm ready for all this. I'm having a hard time growing up.. i wish I could be a kid forever.
goodnight.
I love everyone.

i hate the way you look at me now.

2005-09-19T02:42:23Z

I remember this weekend last year perfectly.
It beats the hell out of this one.

in this moment where we both ignore the truth let's start over.

2005-09-12T22:54:00Z

ahhhh everything's changing.

Solid weekend. Friday hung out with Kelsey, Vicki, Alex, Lindsey and we met up with some of the guys and played rode soccer. We won!! yeah man:) Then they made me scream and my voice sounds like a horse.cool. haha then we did prank calls and I can't say that I've laughed that hard in a really really long time. We had a slumber party.We watched Matilda! saturday morning we woke up earlyyyyyyy and went out for breakfast and then Kelsey and I went apple picking and bought stuff to make caramel apples and we went on a photoshoot and Leah and Andrea came over to watch the OC but me and Kelsey fell asleep. Yesterday was the used/underoath/alexisonfire.. I had a lot of fun.<3 Lindsay locked her keys in her car and we had to go on an adventure. Drove 140 and kept a purse on top of the car the whole time. That's intense shit.

school offically now sucks./;

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your head.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer but when I wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bear my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

_so_much_closer @ 2005-08-24T09:42:00

2005-08-24T13:42:49Z

fuck, i miss you.

and if i dont make it just know that i loved you all along.

2005-08-20T19:34:10Z

"if love is real why do people cheat? why do people lie? why do people leave?"
i dont know why.
i dont know why someone who knows how much you love them would want to hurt you. Time. Change. Distraction. Numb. lets keep this up.

"I can't imagine all the people that you know
And the places that you go
When the lights are turned down low
And I don't understand
All the things you've seen
But I'm slipping in between
You and your big... dreams
it's always you and my big dreams

And you tell me
That it's over
But i can't stand here in a patch of four leaf clover
And your restless
And I'm naked
You've got to get out
You can't stand to see me shaking
no, could you let me go

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all the hope
That you had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me

And then you bring me home
Afraid to find out that you're alone, no
And I'm sleeping in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live

And I had dreams that i would learn to play guitar
Maybe cross the country
Become a rockstar
And there was hope in me
That I could take you there
But dammit you're so young
But I don't think I care
and if I hurt you then i'm sorry
It's just this guilt has got the best of me

And then you bring me home
'Cause we both know what its like to be alone, no
And I'm dreaming in your living room
But we don't have much room
To live
This is because I can spell konfusion with a K
It's hard to like it
It's to dying in anothers arms
and why i had to try it
It's to jimmy eat world
and those nights in my car
But this time i'm alone, and i don't see those stars
I'm not your star?
Isn't that what you said
what you thought this song meant
you thought this song meant

And if this is what it takes
just to lie in my mistakes
and live with what I did to you
And all the things i put you through
I always catch the clock it's 11:11
And now you want to talk
it's not hard to dream
You'll always be my ...

They'll never hurt you like I do
No, They'll never hurt you like I do
No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No, No

This is to a girl who got into my head
with all these pretty things she did
Hey Baby, You know that you keep me up in bed
It's to a girl who got into my head
with all the fucked up things I did
Hey maybe baby, you could keep me up in bed
My..

Spin around me like a dream
We played out on this movie screen
And I said,
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you
Did you know I miss you

God, I miss you"

once a week is all you need

2005-08-03T04:36:23Z

since yesterday,
the pimp panther rules everything!<3

i know, i know they did it to you.

2005-08-01T05:42:56Z

i cant say that i have been up to a whole lot lately. things haven't been exciting for the most part, but it doesn't really bother me. i should be really happy because when i think about it, i am the luckiest girl in the world. I have the best family in the world, some of the best freinds i could ask for, and i am in an amazing relationship with the person who i am completely in love with. this is all i've ever really needed.

love,stace
xoxox

it starts again, can you feel it?

2005-07-15T16:44:10Z

today me and corey are making a pool party and im excited!<3

your everything

2005-07-09T04:54:11Z

"find me here
and speak to me
I want to feel you
I need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place
where I find peace again

you are the strength
that keeps me walking
you are the hope
that keeps me trusting
you are the life
to my soul
you are my purpose
you're everything

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this yeah

you calm the storms
and you give me rest
you hold me in your hands
you won't let me fall
you still my heart
and you take my breath away
would you take me in
take me deeper now

and how can I
stand here with you
and not be moved by you
would you tell me
how could it be
any better than this

cause you're all I want
you're all I need
you're everything
everything"

my sober straight face gets you out of your clothes..

2005-07-07T02:33:12Z

"it was so romantic and he's so friggen cute! ahh i love him so much and i am so in love with him. i just.. i dont know, i love everything about him. he completes me and hes definetely my better half. i just dont know what i would do without him! im so grateful and so blessed to have him in my life as my boyfreind and as the best freind i could ask for. He's made me a better person and continues to achieve at making me want to be a better person. Just one look in his eyes and I'm breathless, Just one kiss and I'm fearless.. He has the power to take my breath away everytime i see him, hear him, or even think about him"

im sorry i have nothing else to talk about. you want a letter, here's a letter.

im going insane. i dont wanna see anyone or go anywhere. I just want my baby.

xoxo

i'll take care of you. have faith that when you call my name i'll be there..<3

2005-07-04T05:48:01Z

3 days ago, on canada's birthday i stayed in for the whole day with my baby. I couldn't have been happier anywhere else or with anyone else. Just being with him away from the rest of the world is the greatest gift of all. We set off our own fireworks that night and decided to save half. it was amazing.<3 i'm so in love.

yesterday i hung out with my best freind. Matty and i hadnt hung out forever but it just feels so right when we do. We have to start spending more time together. Then we had a tripple date, kyle + tom, me and jordie, and matty and amberly.

Today i went downtown with tom and he bought a pink belt and we visited my dad and go ice cream and ate on the roof of the rideau centre. Went home to have supper with the family and then went to Jordan's house<3 We went to the lake and set off fireworks and looked at the stars. Tonight, July 3rd we are officially together<3 that sh*ts all mine!!i love him so much.. he's having surgery tomorrow to get his tonsils taken out so i probably wont get to see him for two weeks which really sucks. I know everything will go great tomorrow and then he will eat ice cream and rest and before i know it he will get to come out and play again:)i just wanna hold him tight for these two weeks and lay by his side as he gets better. I wish i was getting it, not him. He's so amazing. i cant explain how much i love him in words, so i'll just leave it at that.

love stace, xoxo<3

goodnight everyone! xoxo

take my breath away

2005-07-01T16:27:55Z

HAPPY CANADA DAY!!

i love him soooo much<3 He makes my life. He completes me and he's most definetely my better half. He's the most amazing person I've ever met. and he's all MINE..All of him.<3

Yesterday we made apple crisp together:) We decided we are going to make one of those cooking shows this summer and film us cooking. After we make it everyone of you has to come watch it. What's that? Oh yeah i hear giant slumber party calling me too! Then Tom came over and we ate and played dumb video games and watch a movie and i fell asleep again.

Today me and my baby are hanging out and probably are going to make our own fireworks by the lake<3

HERE'S WHAT THIS SUMMERS BEEN LOOKING LIKE:

think twice, its just another day for you and me in paradise.

2005-06-30T06:49:07Z

At graduation today, my baby won the students choice award and he recieved a plaque and money. I'm so proud of him!! I love him so much and I really miss him.<3 I just want to hold him forever.. is that so bad?

I really dont want to forget this summer. I want to remember, even if it's bad. I want to take a picture every day of the summer. I want to write down what i do and live and love and be happy. I want to rebuild and build great freindships and spend as much time with my baby as possible.. cuz really what's better than that.

So so far this summer its been going down like this...

Thursday, hung out with my mommy, went to costco then hung out with sarah at starbucks, then catherine came over.

Friday, went to Jordan's house<3 went with mommy to do some work then saw catherine corey and corey, then lindsey and christelle came over, had dance practice, they slept over.

Saturday, Brandon bbq backyard show. I had a really good time. Hung out with a lot of people. Me and corey were sexy and worked the door, made the line ups and collected money. Went on a racy adventure with kyle to find eric to see if they could play at the last minute.... but wait... we had to make it back for Benefit!!! Ran through stop signs, drove speedily and got there running in by the second song, through the sparkle motion sweater at Chase and danced and danced and danced the night away!Took photographs of all the bands except the one i dont really like. Had a picnic and by the time Tom came in the picture to save me all i had left were marshmallows so we pretneded to roast them. it was awesome. Tom and lindsey came over and we watched a movie. Lindsey slept over.

Sunday, hung out with Alex and we met up with matt to go downtown. We hung around and then went to the love machine<3!! it was really fun and they played amazing:) Kyle Al and lindsey came over and we swam and watched sex i think.Alex slept over.

Monday, Hung out with Alex and Jon and then us and Kyle went to a 3d movie which was horrible so we left and got our money back and went to jons to watch a movie and I was gonna sleep there but then me and kyle just left later.

Tuesday, Had a 3 hour sleep from the night before. Went to meet Kyle early before he worked and we picked up my pictures and looked at them:) Then i missed the bus that i was supposed to meet carolyn on and by the time we got to the mall she had to go. Was going downtown alone until at the last minute lindsey joined along. I finally got new sunglasses!!! And got a sweatband for my head to go wiht my dance outfit! Then i saw rossco and we talked and then i had my first in car driving lessons, and yeah.. i fell asleep in the car. oops. THennnn Tom came over and waited for kyle. We met up with brandon lydia matt christelle lindsey ross and bailey. Me tom and kyle and lindsey saw a different movie though and we were all falling asleep so we left and went to perkins. I probably worried to much about something i shouldnt have. Kyle and tom came over.

TODAY, went for lunch with catherine, then she came over and carolyn came. its the last time im seeing her probably this summer. Then tonight me and kyle and jon and alex and jeff hung out and got mcdonalds and we had fireworks. everyone went home and me and kyle hung out. He lent me the old copeland CD and its hella good.

HE makes my life:
I believe in love, But what else can I do, I'm so in love with you.

why aren't you dancing?

2005-06-23T15:45:40Z

i know i should be more excited about school being over, but i really cant force it upon myself. this summer has been something i've been dreading for a long time now and now that it's here i don't know what to do with myself. i'm just really scared.

i never would have expected this. one of those things you never think will happen then it does. i dont know what i'm supposed to do about it. i hate seeing you like this. this is the worst way to start off the summer, i want you to be happy. if i could trade i would.

i hate fighting over stupid things. it's not worth it. life is too great to waste time on stupid arguments when so much love is possible.

sometimes i just wanna block out the rest of the world.

so i'm a big loser, it's the first day of summer and i'm, spending the day with my mommy. i love her:)

i hope everyone has a safe an happy summer full of love and happinness! xoxo

and i still dont even know what i need to do to fix myself..

2005-06-16T02:58:45Z

..drinkin' some apple juice thinking about the past few days. Friday carolyn had a girls night. Lindsey Alex and I made a cake and then went over and i ended up sleeping over/ staying up all night drawing all over girls. Saturday went for a jog with carolyn and my mom made us breakfast and we went swimming. Later me and Jordan hung out and this is when my smile starts to grow. No matter what we do i always have such an amazing time. It was amazing being with him alone cuz we havent hung out just the two of us in so long. Then Sunday my family left for my brothers graduation (nobody asked me if i ever wanted to go, i was just told i couldnt..) Jordan came over and hung out with me and then Lindsey stayed with me for two nights and we were pretty badass. We had a baking party and went swimming and went to bed early.shawg. I HATE MEAN PEOPLE. oh also at school monday a teach came up to me and says " omg thank god i found you all these teachers have been contacting me about you.. yeah ( pointing all over me ) too little, too much, too high, too bare... yeah your gonna need to put another shirt on, do you need a shirt? i have a shirt. do you wanty a shirt?" No. It was friggen 40 degrees.. i think my health of breathing is a little more important than friggen clothing. like common, i know im a lot of things that may not be good but im pretty sure a slut is not one of them. Anyway today i hung out with matt brandon lydia and lindsey. Im super stolked about being matts sister this summer... its about the only thing im looking forward to. Ive been in a horrible mood for the past day and a half and i hate it. I dont know whats wrong.

great. ive been "tagged" with something and i feel that if i dont fill it out i'll have bad luck for the rest of my life so here goes a waste of 10 minutes of my life. Thanks a lot.

Name 20 friends, in no order!

01. matty
02. jon
03. jordan<3
04. matt diabetic
05. alex
06. carolyn
07. catherine
08. amber
09. brandon
10. lindsey
11. sam
12. mike
13. mitchell
14. ryan
15. cory
16. corey
17. ander
18. lydia
19. christelle
20. jen

A.Who is #8 going out with? matty:)
B.Is #9 a boy or a girl? - boy.
C.Would #11 and #2 make a cute couple? - hah duh yeah
D.How about #18 and #4? - mmm maybe
E.What grade is #17 in? - 11
F.When was the last time you talked to #12? - not this saturday but the one before
G.What is #6's favorite band? - jack johnson i think..
H.Does #1 have any siblings? - two brothers
I.Would you ever date #3? - mmm probably not:P
J.Would you ever date #7? - duh!
K.Is #16 single? - yeah but not for long
L.What's #15's last name? -sorel i think
M.What's #5's middle name? - alex
N.What's #10's fantasy? - myspace sex?
O.Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? - probably not
P.What school does #20 go to? - western.
Q.Tell me a random fact about #11? - she makes me smile all the time.
R.And #1: - he's my best friend
S.And #3: - i love him/ he's a big loser
T.And #2: - we won cutest couple
U.Have you ever had a crush on #16? - yes but he's also my cousin..
V.Where does #9 live? - in a house near tenth line.
W.What's #4's favorite color? - pink.
X.Would you makeout with #3? - ew... yeah
Y.Are #5 & #6 best friends? - naw
Z.Does #8 like #19? - theyve never met...
a.Does #10 have any pets? - yeah but she hates them..
b.Is #12 older than you? - yep.
c.Give #13 a hug. - all the time
d.Is #17 the sexiest person alive? - hell yeah

so anyway i really dont see the point of that..
i hope everyone has a great rest of the week<3

omg omg omg copeland in two days!!!!!<3 xoxo

i wanna hold you 'till the sun goes down..

2005-06-05T16:37:27Z

I've been happy. He makes me so happy and i love how things are going. I have this smile on my face and i dont think its going away anytime soon.

Friday went bowling with a bunch of cool kids who enjoy the good things in life:) It was really fun even though i was really sleepy. Who would have known that bowling could be such a workout? Everyone who came bowling, thanks for making the times even better! Happy Prom to Brandon/ congradulations...Bowling wouldnt have been the same without him and Lydia:)

Yesterday, me, jordie, sam and mikey went to the beach and i thought it was really fun even though me and mike swam in sewage water. We also built an amazing sandcastle with a moat:)Barbie backback joined us on the beach and it made it even better! All four of us singing together to deathcab was the best thing ever. Oh also mike had the coolest/smallest towel in the world! i love it<3

Me and catherine slept in her car last night.. i had a lot of fun.

I hope everyone had a good weekend!<3

have faith that when you call my name i'll be there, i'll be right there..

2005-05-30T20:53:54Z

i dont understand how i found a love so pure...

THIS IS LOVE SO SCREAM LIKE FAMILY!!

i'm happy here with you.
i love you.<3

PS I CANT BELIEVE COPELAND IS COMING TO OTTAWA!!! i am SO excited:)

THE OC IS WAY TOO MUCH TO HANDLE

2005-05-13T01:39:00Z

omg. okay lets get something straight. the OC has become way too intense. you know it's too much to handle when the other people you are watching it with cant hear because your crying your heart out so damn hard for half the show. like ahh i cant even deal with it. afterwards my dad tried giving me a talk while lindsey was sitting there.. i beleive it goes a little something like this.. "its okay, he's going to a better place.. stace really its going to be okay.." ITS NOT GOING TO BE OKAY!! lol lindsey had a good laugh.. But fo realz.. the oc has got to calm the heck down... its got me so down.

so anyway, i think i want to spend the whole weekend alone. even if i go to tremblant i think i will play it solo.

i hate how some people can be so amazing, when its just you two but then when other people are brought into the equation they act completely differently.. like what the heck is that? just dont talk to me at all if thats what your gonna be like. who are you trying to impress? i just dont get that.

so i found out i went from a 90% in photography to a 54%, in business i went from an 85% to a 63% and in math im somewhere under fifty.. ive lost count.

i got some sense knocked into me tonight about my priorities and how they are crap.

i wanna see your hairline, your cheekbones..

2005-05-11T23:23:22Z

A lot is new but i dont remember what.
The Love Machine was yesterday:) <3<3<3
He gives me the hugest butterflies in the world and i dont think they will ever die down. He's my baby, and i like it that way<3 I love him way much.. Its such an amazing feeling everytime i get to see him. He has a way of bringing out the best of me at all times... and i could never thank him enough for all the times he's made me smile when i've really thought it impossible. I love being wrapped up in his arms, so close to him, and so far away from the rest of the world:)

MISSION: hook up Lindsey with Hello Goodbye boy.

Oh, also.. i dont know if this is a disease or something but i have a huge problem with goodbye's... i just cant deal with them.

This weekend I'm pretty sure it's partay at the hot spot (TREMBLANT) i'm kinda excited... just for firepits, stars, and marshmallows and obviously just the plain old good times with good freinds.

PS: OC party tomorrow.. They grow by the week. Supper included tomorrow if it's nice out!! get excited.

love, stace.

cofounder of fort nap and stuff!<3

2005-05-05T02:31:41Z

all i gots to say:
-i dont like a lot of people
-im not very good at photography
-i am excited about hanging out with matty this weekend
-fort nap and stuff is the coolest thing ever

I miss my baby!

goodnight! xoxo<3

It could make you face all your fears.

2005-05-02T01:42:35Z

This weekend was fun and tiring:) Friday we drove to Ashtons and then we went on a grocery run and made supper which was amazing. For a while they ear and eyemuffed me so i had to go watch the Ashlee Simpson show which I enjoyed.. sorry but its so good. Then sinse Mitchipillar tore three ligaments in his foot from being a little badass skateboarding and cant leave the house, we went over to hang out with him. Watched some OC, played some spin the bottle, went to the park, played videogames... you know how it goes down..

Since that first day when you made my heart smile
With loving eyes and tired sighs that flow
You have my attention
Like a shout through an empty sanctuary
Speak but a whisper

Saturday, Brandon and I hung out.. He was hurrying me to get ready, but gosh, I only took two and a half hours! We watched a movie and made food. Then later I saw my baby after he finished work:) It was amazing.

Today went to visit Mitchell again. He was supposed to get a puppy but I had to leave before it got there. Jordan and I saw A Lot Like Love and it was soo good. It was such a perfect movie<3 We are the coolest people in the world. We put our sunglasses on and looked at ourselves in our reflections in windows... Your just jealous!:P Then we both got the Copeland CD and its amazing:)

I hope everyone had a good weekend and played safe! xoxo

we are the happy boys and happy girls!<3

2005-04-29T03:07:32Z

I really wear my heart on my sleeve...

Glouscars were tonight.
Limo ride= fun:)Some good stories to be told.
I was kinda falling asleep during some points of the show.
I won most original style and cutest couple:) and now we broke up.
Thelovemachine was amazing<3
Mcdonalds afterwards with everyone was awesome... I got the coolest kids meal toy ever!

This stuff makes me happy...
Pat-" Stace when you were walking up to win your award i was telling the people I was sitting with that your the sweetest girl ever.." like awwww<3

Ander + Kelvin- " You should have been nominated for the Dr.Phil award.. your good at giving advice and you care."

That's soo cute:) it really made me happy!

<3 goodnight xoxo

Jordan you were great! <333

you swept my feet right off the ground, your the love i found!

2005-04-28T00:51:59Z

Bad day.
Good night.

Dress rehearsal went smoothly.
Put me in such a good mood that I didn't even mind going to tutoring- in fact, i enjoyed it. We laughed the whole time and I was talking to her daughter for half the time.

I want to be a hair dresser.

Jon Alex and I are now officially the hair dyring crew.
Alex and I died and highlighted Jon's hair tonight. It wasn't as crazy and intense as planned, but still looks good. The three of us have almost formed a pact. It's more of something the three of us wanted to do and all decided to do it around the same time.. we are all dyeing/ streaking our hair all crazy and im maybe cut it a bit cooler. This is our crew. DONT COPY US... So Jon and Alex curled my hair and I swear it almost put me to sleep. Whenever people play with my hair it puts me to sleep... its so relaxing. I feel the mono slowly leaving my body:) I stole Jon's sweatpants. He is 6'4, I am 5'2... this isnt really working out.

I want to be happy.
I hate argueing. I dont want it involved in my life.
Why the hell does my barbie backpack(s) have to have such a huge friggen hole at the bottom!?!!!
I want to get more than 4 hours of sleep tonight.
That's it:)xoxo

dr jones?

2005-04-27T02:32:09Z

"just walk fast, leave the mono child behind"

There are very few things that i am sure about at this point in my life:
-things are very messed up (how good is that? i quit swearing:))
-you shouldn't talk to me, i'm sure in one way or another i will ruin your life in someway.
-aqua is one of the best things to happen to our generation
-i am a horrible person
-i dont really want to go to the gloscars at all
-the lunch ladies are going to kill us one of these days.. the food is tasting weirder each day
-my hands are going to fall off from being exposed to too many photo chemicals
-i havent slept in 4 days.

that's all i know.

Also Amberly and I drove tonight and openned the windows screaming to Alexisonfire :\ We are pretty good.