A friend reminded me of important things, and now I have a little something that's pulling me into the new year.



( Lyrics under the cutCollapse )


Download the song

(x-posted to artschool journal)

I couldn't sleep last night omg. I don't remember the last time that happened! I ended up laying next to a slumbering Court until 3am, reading a trashy romance novel. I think I'm excited for New Years and also dreading my birthday on the 1st. You wouldn't think that these two things could coexist, would you? Maybe that's what's up with the no-sleeping.

I did have the most awesome Girl's Date yesterday. ( Downtown adventures and birthday worries behind the cutCollapse )

In other, happier news - the baby kitten I got for Christmas is adorable. She sleeps with a different padawan each night and she may be starting to come to our call. She's cuddly and playful and fits perfectly into our family. :)

I kindda don't want to write this post. It makes me sad, and I don't like to be sad much. But NOT writing it isn't going to change anything, and maybe just saying it will help me let it go.

First you need to know that because I move from the kid's house to Jme's house weekend-to-weekdays, I carry everything important to me in a big bag-purse. This weekend I was at church with The McLandsborough - St. John's Cathedral, in downtown Denver - when his car got broken into, the window smashed and my bag (hidden under the seat, but not well enough) was taken. I had my cell phone, keys and wallet with me, but everything else is gone. In a way, my bag was my 'house': everything important, that someone might keep in a drawer, on the nightstand or a counter by the phone, I put in my bag so that I always have it. It's weird that I didn't realize before how important my bag was, but I'm hardly ever without it so of course I wouldn't miss it.

( Read more...Collapse )

I'm going to move on past this, but I don't mind admitting that right now my feelings are hurt and I'm sad.

I have visions of a little house, tiny and manicured yet architecturally interesting inside. It is a favorite day-dream of mine. The elements of this house, inside and out, often change to suit what most pleases my mood right at the moment.

( Tonight, I clearly see my little house..Collapse )

(Kate Nash, "Nicest Thing")

No more: no more. I want to be asleep.

My 7-year old son Cai and I were talking about the difference between men and women's bodies earlier today.

A little while ago Syd, the baby girl, saw a picture in my art history book of a classical Roman statue (naked man) and asked, pointing at the genitals, "What's that?"

I explained to her, and to Cai who had wandered over, what that was and pointed out how beautiful the human figure is, flipping pages and showing them all different male and female statues. ( Ramifications ensued.Collapse )

Beautiful colorful fall days and weather this week - though of course awfully cold for one Ms. Walker. But as I walked around, just today, I realized that many of the trees and colors are into winter: the rough strong wind and rain must have cleared the leaves off the last two days and now black skeletal trees and shades of brown predominate. So suddenly I had that mind-jump: ( Fall is over, Winter is hereCollapse )


...I don't have to like the cold, though. No amount of zen can make me LIKE the feelings left in the wake of empty desires. All that a small and very good girl can do, in the midsts of those dark winter months... is plan for a cruise. ;)



*The first week, ch4rm is taking the babies and they are all going to Disneyworld, yes DISNEYWORLD for 10 days. AH, what fun they'll have!!! What a wonderful Fall break for the babies, eh?! I'm glad ch4rm is so generous to them, and loves the kids (and Disney!) enough to spend that kind of money and time on them.

FLU. Since 5am this morning.

I thought I escaped it - it was such a violent sickness, and swept through the house like lightning, so that when I didn't get anything after 4 days I thought I had escaped it.

Wrong, sir; wrong.

All will be well in a few days, I think - judging from the other's paths it is 24 hours of hell but then goes away, leaving that weak-kitten feeling. I kindda wasn't far from that anyway what with a great amount of energy going toward the final push to the last midterm.

You can tell me I brought it on myself later, O Puritan Separatist. Right now I am miserable, and cannot bear to be judged. I think I am on the downside, though, and should start to recover this evening.

I ache like crucio everywhere, and I dream of Victorian parties where I am asked to sing (  It just gets more emo from there, even for someone with the flu. Don't embarass either of us by clicking through.Collapse )

If you don't want to weep for the poor maiden after that poem, you are not alive and have no feeling at all. *Hmpf*

I HAVE BEEN THROUGH THE HOLY "ART HISTORY 1 MIDTERM OF ZIGGURATS AND BLACK-FIGURE AMPHORIA AND JOY AND JOYNESS" AND I HAVE RETURNED THE BANANA KING TRIUMPHANT. Yay go me: first midterm down, 6 more to go!

The teacher noticed me smiling during the test and afterward he asked me why. I said, "Because I wasn't sure how I'd do today, but being tested I realized that I've got this stuff. It was dates and places and facts yesterday and today it was a continuum of influences and human experience. It's beautiful." I guess he liked that answer because he beamed back at me and we shared a moment, grinning like loons and nodding in understanding and shared love.

( New friends and I show my underwear. ...Those two things are unrelated, btw.Collapse )

Can't wait to get that test back, friends. I think I really rocked it.

8:30pm EDITED TO ADD: Aaaaand I'm out of 3D class early, where the teacher groked my project completely! Today I totally win school!

Archer took me to Domo this last weekend; he studied there as a uchideshi (live-in student at a dojo). WOW. It it very traditional and serves Japanese country food in this amazing building and garden. It was so beautiful and peaceful there that I almost couldn't believe I was still in America, much less Denver. Archer reminisced about Northern Japan and said it makes him miss it less when he comes to Domo. This and the Victorian tea house I found in Westminster are top on my list of actual Liminal Places.

( Boba and chinese and hockey and atomic bombs behind this cut. Ha!Collapse )

Court is helping me study for my art history midterm tomorrow: all the art in the history of the world from the beginning of time to 5th century BCE...please include name, date, where found in situ, artist and noteable characteristics. On a map; compare and contrast; essay; short answer; mystery object to define. As nervous as I am, as crazy as my maps and flashcards and notes and chart and lists are getting, mostly I'm gleeing:
OMG MIDTERM! How long since I've even said that word, 17 years?! Hehehe!"
It's all a big challenge to me, now. Completely different from my first time around (of course, I was 17 at the time).

...Completely different, EXCEPT for the 'Freshman 15'. That's completely the same. Damn it.

takumi and I are taking Paris with us to hockey this Friday as a reward for all his babysitting and hard work. Anyone want to come? We'll be bus-and-lightrailing into downtown so I can't offer a ride, sorry. I guess I'll buy Paris' tickets at the box office, right? I dunno, I've never bought a ticket before. Wow, Takumi; you've totally spoiled me! ...well done, man, well done :)



If you have the song I'm currently playing, crank it up and watch my icon dance to it. You go, dance-y lamb-girl!