I am feeling trapped right now.
I have had severe sciatica since June 2009 and maybe before but it wasn't severe then. I have been in strong pain for 8 months. the last 2 days have been the worst. I can barely walk. I can't bend over, I can't sit in a hard chair. I can't sit or stand for very long and walking up stairs is near impossible without intense pain. I feel like my life has been put on hold. I feel I am becoming bitter and angry. I can't do much that love to do... like going shopping with my friends, walking around at the park, going to church, heck going to walmart is out of the question. I feel trapped. I feel dependent on others for help with day-to-day things. it is making me feel very depressed and useless. I spend most of my day reading or on the computer. I don't want to live like this. I love to be independent and self sufficient. I want to be able to move out of my parents house. I can hardly do my work anymore. I am very afraid I will end up on disability or become a burden on my parents. I cannot afford health insurance or the shots or surgery that would help my back. I have prayed about it and asked God many times for healing and I have friends who are praying for me too and that feels good to know others care for me. I guess I just have to have patience.
I think this picture perfectly describes how I feel at the moment.