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I don't think the election is going to get stolen this time (*fingerscrossed*). If it does, I'll sign this letter: Dear Red States:
If you manage to steal this election too we've decided we're leaving. Â We intend to form our own country, and we're taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren't aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.
To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.
We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.
We get Harvard. You get Ol' Miss.
We get 85% of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.
We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the red states pay their fair share.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.
Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.
With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country's fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce, 92% of the nation's fresh fruit, 95% of America's quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.
With the Red States, on th e other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia. We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.
Additionally, 38% of those in the Red states believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.
Finally, we're taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico
Peace,
Blue States
    I think I'd change the name of our new blue country, though.... How I'm Feeling:  hopeful
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Waking up this morning to see that Colin Powell has endorsed Obama helped start my day off well. I've always respected and admired Powell, and was disappointed that during his time as Secretary of State he was pretty much sidelined by the administration. If they had listened to his views and advice, and not created such an uncomfortable atmosphere that he felt compelled to leave the post, I am sure that our country would be on much better terms with the rest of the world. Of course Powell had many good points about why Obama is the better choice for president, but I especially appreciate this quote from him in the Huffington Post which is really a criticism of his own party and the current fear/bigotry that is, sadly, rampant in our country: Powell also spoke passionately against the insinuations by some Republicans that Obama is a Muslim. "Well, the correct answer is, he is not a Muslim, he's a Christian. He's always been a Christian," he said. "But the really right answer is, what if he is? Is there something wrong with being a Muslim in this country? The answer's no, that's not America. Is there something wrong with some seven-year-old Muslim-American kid believing that he or she could be president? Yet, I have heard senior members of my own party drop the suggestion, 'He's a Muslim and he might be associated terrorists.' This is not the way we should be doing it in America." How I'm Feeling: upbeat
What I'm Reading: The Eight - Katherine Neville
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Being a bookish sort of person, this one is right up my alley: * Grab the nearest book. * Open the book to page 56. * Find the fifth sentence. * Post the text of the next two to five sentences in your journal along with these instructions. * Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST. Closest book: Justinian's Flea - The First Great Plague and the End of the Roman Empire by William Rosen. "The impotence of Ricimer's comic-opera emperors was mirrored in their domain; during the five decades since the Goths settled in Toulouse, the western empire had lost control, successively, of Africa, Spain, most of Gaul, and, finally, of the ability to command its own army." Yeah, I think I'll only post the one sentence. You don't need another few like that, do you? How I'm Feeling:  loved
What I'm Reading: current book, see above!
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![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
_sister_madly_'s journal
aggravated
brrrrrrrr!
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