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Sirius Black

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(no subject) [Aug. 20th, 2003|01:07 am]
[mood |frustratedfrustrated]

Oy! Prongs, I need to talk to you.
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(no subject) [Aug. 18th, 2003|12:25 pm]

Care of Magical Creatures

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(no subject) [Aug. 18th, 2003|12:08 pm]

Somtimes I think that maybe my parents aren't right. Maybe I'm not such a fuck up. But then I go and do something so incredibly fucking stupid...

I wanted to prove him wrong. Just show him that Remus would never bloody turn to the dark side. That he'd never choose the path that others have. That he'd never, ever betray us like that. I just wanted to show Snape that - wanted to get it through his thick skull.

Remus would never do that. And Remus isn't someone to fuck around with.

But instead, it all backfired. Bloody spectacularly, if I do say so myself. I didn't think. Hell, I never bloody think, do I? Not until it was too late... but I found James! And he stopped it and I thought that maybe it'd be okay. Now they're all angry. All except for Ara. Of course she thinks that it'll all blow over in a few days, but she didn't see Remus' expression, didn't hear his voice.

Oh fuck. He doesn't even know that I really love him! How many more times can I say it? I'm trying, I really am. I don't know the first bloody thing about love - I've never been expected to. I'm supposed to think it makes you weak, and I'm supposed to be strong, and take everything in stride, and never let myself get all blody sappy, or whatever you want to call it, but I've let myself get that way.

Remus was the first person that ever told me they loved me. At that time I had only told one other person that - my mother. She didn't say it back. I was bloody eight years old! All she did was tell me to go off and play. Can you blody believe that? I never said it again, to anyone, until I told Remus that I loved him.

And where has it gotten me? He won't believe what I say now. It doesn't matter anymore, really, because I believe his exact words were "I can't be with you, Sirius."

Can't be with me.

I wonder if he knows how much I still need him.

I wonder if that would even matter.

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(no subject) [Aug. 12th, 2003|01:57 am]
[mood |pissed off]

I DID NOT WRITE THAT ENTRY! Some fucking bastard got into my account.

Snivellus - I'm going to kill you.
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(no subject) [Aug. 11th, 2003|02:06 pm]
[mood |excitedexcited]

Hey, Remus, let me go with you this time. I think I'd like to meet that Dark Lord of yours.
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(no subject) [Jul. 20th, 2003|08:25 am]
[mood |livid]

[Rosier and Regulus]

I need to talk to both of you. As soon as possible.

[/Rosier and Regulus]
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RP log - Thursday - 17 July 1976 [Jul. 20th, 2003|06:32 am]
[mood |angsty]

Arabella recovers a little. Evan makes an appearance. Sirius snaps. Remus is angsty. Break ups and arguing occurs.Collapse )
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(no subject) [Jul. 18th, 2003|05:21 am]
[mood |empty]


The past two days have been the worst days of my life.

My left hand is covered in deep cuts from Saraneth's fucking nails. Diggory and I have argued numerous times, and the stupid prat won't back down. Bella tried the bloody transformation again, and it backfired spectacularly, and she's weaker than I've ever imagined she could be. I have a swollen tongue, a bruised side, and a bloody great fucking dent in the back of my head because of Snape and his bloody hex... what the fuck was that? And oh, I almost forgot. He gave me a TAIL. A fucking tail! At last I got one good punch to his jaw before he used that fucking hex.

And... to top it all off... I broke up with Remus. It's funny, isn't it, how everything bad in life seems to hit you all at once. And the worst thing is, is that... I wanted to hurt Remus tonight. I wanted to grip him so tightly and shake him, and make him understand, but I didn't and he couldn't anyway, and it's all over now, so it doesn't matter much anymore.

But what I told him was true. I'm just like them. Snape's said it, Saraneth's said it, even Evan's said it. I should've been a Slytherin. No... I am a Slytherin. May as well be. I would've been, if I hadn't complained so fucking much to the sodding hat. I don't care what Regulus said... there's no difference between us. I don't think I really feel love. I think I want to feel it so badly, that I thought I did.

Though that doesn't explain why I think my heart's broken.

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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2003|06:12 pm]
[mood |vaguely amused]

Well, my life's been great, as of late, for the most part. Remus... I'm sure you understand what I mean.

Though the one minor annoyance I'm facing is the fact that some people are being ridiculously stubborn, and are gallavanting around with others, when everyone knows it's pointless. And come now, people, a little roughing up is exceptable at times. Don't be such snivelling cowards about it. Going to the hospital wing? Honestly...
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(no subject) [Jul. 11th, 2003|01:14 pm]
[mood |...]

Got a letter from my wonderful, charming, delightful mother today. I must remember to spend more time with the woman. I have been looking forward to having a heart attack, after all. Oh look, it's raining out. How fitting.

Rosier, thanks. And Remus... I uh. I think we need to talk.

You know, there are times when I want nothing more than to throw you out a bloody window, but there are times when I'd settle for just roughing you up a bit. I didn't mean to hurt you at all the other night, but you just need to listen sometimes. But... I know you at least tried a little. Arabella told me you were thinking about what I said, and all I guess I can really say now is thanks.

And... listen, Reg, and this is serious. I got a letter from mum today. Who told her about Remus?
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