I dont know whats going on, i dont know if things are getting better or worse. i dont know if this is what ive been praying for the day before valentines day or if its what ive dreaded the most. is he going to hurt me again?! is this real?!
for those of you who have no idea what im talking about, heres the scoop; last night jesse told my friends he hated me, that he wanted to to take a leave from his life - but this morning he unblocked me on AIM and asked me if i still loved him - the conversation turned into him being horny and he called me. we talked on the phone for over an hour. then he didnt want his mom to know he was on the phone with me so he hung up and got online. i told him i was home alone and he came over. but he was all about me wearing a skirt and having sex... i didnt think he would show. when i saw him ride up on his bike i almost died. i hadnt seen him in a month. you have no idea the feeling. he came inside and as i walked away, leading him into the house, he stood still. he said "Crystal?" grabbed my arm and pulled me in for the best kiss of my life. yeh thats right, my first french in over a month, go me! when i wouldnt give him sex he kinda got mad, but we did make out alot and he only stayed for a little while because he has to go to A.M. courses do to his parents court date thing. he told me he was going to break up with his girlfriend, that i wouldnt have to cry over him anymore, that he was going to ask me out after he broke up with her... but the reason im so sceptical is why was he so unsure if he could see me tommarow? i so do not want to be hurt again, but this could be the answer to my prayers... please god help me know what to do. i have this knot in my stomach, i dont know if i can even watch JOA tonight i will be side tracked. PLUSS the other thing that bothers me is he says his class was from 4-11 but he told me earlier he was going to the mall with his gf... how is this possible if his class is from 4-11? i dont know... i just love him... god i LOVE him.
Im suposed to be all the mall right now, meeting Joan - but my parents still havent gotten home to take me... grrr... i bet shes going to hate me! i was so excited to :(
anyways im off for now. more later.