| happy secret |
[22 Jul 2008|12:16pm] |
i am looking forward to a lot of things this year, like new cd releaases:
Juliana Hatfield - How to Walk Away
The Verve - Forth
The Walkmen - You And Me
Mogwai - The Hawk is Howling
Autolux - Transit Transit
Massive Attack - Weather Underground
Built To Spill
Doves
Jesus And Mary Chain
Metric
The Postal Service
Stars
trips to take:
august - palawan
november - vietnam, cambodia
and little things that just make life fun:
straightening my teeth
getting dsl internet connection at home
getting my new pen tablet for my MBP
developing more medium format film
a new season of heroes
christian bale in terminator
the new x-files movie!!!
don't you love it too?
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| choking victim. |
[16 May 2008|05:07pm] |
angel wings are behind my mac monitor at the office. my guardian angel is in the form of a cold G4 that radiates light and contributes to the phenomenon we love to name drop these days, which is, global warming. itunes keeps me from killing all the people i hate. the net helps me dream up schemes that would otherwise have never come to mind, schemes to make the world a softer place to lay your head upon before cruel reality comes to chop it off. i keep snagging my pink sennheiser earphones on my sleeve but this doesn’t annoy me. i love wearing my earphones. it is my best defense against unwanted attention and hurting words whispered behind flimsy cubicle partitions. i can actually smile sometimes. because going to the office is an excuse to get dressed up. humility is a rare trait here that makes the humble look awkward and dull. how wonderfully pathetic. i hate performing in this circus. I am not a freak for this freak show. it would be so funny, if it weren’t so sad.
i have committed myself to not becoming my worst enemy at work: an obsessive, compulsive know-it-all who is in the position to bitch everyone out. she actually wants to finish your sentences before you do. i admit, it’s a wonderful position to be in, but what is it all for? to be the inconvenience that breaks the camel’s back, whoever that camel may be? what is it all for? well, apparently, it’s for its own sake. a running commentary of bitchiness should be created on this one person and formed into an instruction manual for the weak. Bitchiness for Dummies.
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| the weekend isn't over. |
[11 May 2008|10:25am] |
i love spending the weekends lying in bed and watching tv. or out shopping. or eating out with friends. now, i'm considering getting dsl internet connection at home. but this will mean never ever going out again. and being late for work every single day. and coming home early. i love the net. i get all sorts of information i never would have known otherwise, because i love to look things up and research on things i love. and with the advent of gtalk, chatting that cannot seem to be blocked by our ITC friends from admin, i can talk to friends i wouldn't be able to when i'm at work. we blab pointlessly sometimes, but it works for me.
so friday was great. after deciding to go on a diet, i pig out on all kind of seafood at dinner anyway. thanks to jon for bribing me into going to dinner with them at seaside in eastwood. and eastwood is pirate paradise. dvd booty. and instead of succumbing to hip hop abs like my friends are buying, i discover a great dvd of a show i have always wished i could watch on cable everyday. the best of later... with jools holland 2000-2006. amazing amazing amazing. it had the kind of music i loved, the kind i get bored with and the kind that's just plain strange and beautiful.
so it's pirated. it's baaad. but it was top quality pirating, i must say. it came with all the extras and even a track programming function (6 tracks programmable). ultracool. plus the dvd clarity we all love.
i checked out the extras first. there was ash, a band i love, singing shining light, a song i love. then there's an old joe strummer singing london calling. and a sultry pj harvey with the longest and thickest lashes and down by the water.
i russian roulette the regular tracklist just to see if my instincts were still right on. (harhar, if they ever were.) first up came the arctic monkeys all pimply faced youngsters and wonderful accents (leeds?). then arcade fire and their wild violinists. for a moment there i thought vocalist dude (whatsisname?) was strumming the back of his guitar, but i think it was a trick of the light. scissor sisters. pearl jam. eddie veder dances with corinne bailey rae setting up on the opposite stage through the last strains of alive. toots and the maytals. david gilmour came last. ok not too bad. i go through the dvd track per track this time. amazing kt tunstall manages to sing black horse and a cherry tree all on her own, programming one by one, with no hesitation, the bangs, taps, woohoos, and whatnot into a loopstation, mixing them down, then singing while playing guitar. guts. talent. an amazing sense of rhythm and organization. in cowboy boots too. then coldplay sings white shadows, a song i don't think i even know. it occurred to me how hard it is to look cool while wearing those white sneakers and doing a crazy dance while singing. but he's chris martin, so there. then camille, a real authentic frenchie camille, comes on and reminds me how very strange the french are in so many wonderful ways. she does a number of clicking and clacking noises with her tongue and programs them into a loopstation to which she has a trigger at her bare feet. as she sings, the pianist guy runs over, pops up behind her and drums on her back! while she sings! haha! and he runs back and drums on the piano too! they sang in french so i didn't really understand what it was about, but it was wonderful. the performance reminded me of watching emilie simon (also a frenchie) at the rockwell tent, with their so many strange contraptions and using the surface of water as a percussion instrument. lovely. then it's sigur ros. oh sigur ros. it was just beautiful. i wanted to write them a letter.
dear sigur ros,
whenever i hear your msic, it makes my heart burst and soar all at the same
time, even if i don't understand a word you're singing.
love, camille (philippines)
haha. philippines. lest they mistake me for the lovely frenchie. if countries were colors i think iceland would be...blue. france would be crimson.
then i get distracted. i wonder why later is called later dot dot dot. it reminds me of later dot dot dot in the silent movies. and when do i buy my guitar. do i have money still to buy a guitar after getting two solid investment plans that i hope will make me millions? oh, and my dsl. but right now, everything seems perfect in my perfect little world where i can wake up when i want to, eat on the bed, smoke in my room and get lost in wonderful dvds all night. it's called the weekend.
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| my friends are obsolete. |
[08 May 2008|10:07am] |
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there are things i love doing. like watching big local gigs or foreign bands performing live in manila. or getting drunk on a friday. or just hoarding all the new pirated dvds and not knowing wen i will have the time to watch them. or hoarding all the new books and not knowing when i'm going to get to read them all. but strangely enough, i realized it all takes a different set of friends to do each thing with. my drinking friends don't really watch the gigs or the foreign bands. the book people don't get drunk, but some of them do watch the bands. the ones who do watch gigs don't really do the hoarding or are just too busy. whatever. something like that. i don't want to get into all the permutations. there were people like me once upon a time. but i guess they're all gone now.
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| days without paracetamol. |
[22 Apr 2008|04:15pm] |
i am having a late streak. last saturday was zambales day for me and 12 other people. i woke up 30 minutes after we were supposed to meet. thank goodness i lived 5 minutes away from the meeting place. haha! it pays to pay rent. the waves were strong and scared me half to death when they nearly took me and my bikini top into the sandy depths. but this unfortunate event was overshadowed by warren friend's shoulder dislocation when he somehow rolled on the seabed under a big wave. maui and sher took him to the next town for doctoring and an x-ray. softspoken warren friend talked even less when they all got back.
i tried getting a tan but my sunblock was 70spf and my skin was pasty white and didn't really want to cooperate.
sunday afternoon was going home day. our all girl van was side-swiped by a short-shorts wearing chickie. she probably didn't use her side mirror except for lipstick application. hehe. i kid. our ETA in manila of 8pm turned into 11pm because the police station fatsoes were so taken by the car collision of two short shorted girls in summer attire and glossy lips. but we all had the best fun and got home eventually with pictures to prove it.
monday came so fast, i didn't have time to put away the mess of clothes and gear from the weekend. and i had a 630am call time for a shoot. i was late again. i woke up at 7am and showered like it was the end of me. i eventually arrived at the pick-up point an hour late and looking like shit. jowjow was already there on time and primped with concealer and blow-dried hair that simply put me to shame.
i think waking up with a headache this morning was the cause of today's being late for work for me. or i am no longer roused by the noisy song that plays on my phone as my alarm tone in the morning. oh the perks of living alone.
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| something for the weekend. |
[14 Apr 2008|06:47pm] |
i can't wait to go to the beach. i think i really need to get some sun. i feel like a plant who can't photosynthesize. haha.
i went to grocery shopping last week at hi-top. it reminded me of old grocery shopping days with my parents when we went all the way to quezon avenue to do the shopping. because it was cheaper there and we just loved going to national bookstore, which is maybe a block away. i love hi-top! it's not overwhelmingly huge like shopwise, but they have all the good stuff, and at cheaper prices. i should go there again soon. the granny smith apples are cheaper.
jogging has been making me eat a lot more lately. though i have not reached blob status yet, i have bulked up and lost my malnourished look. which is good, i guess.
my mind is clearer lately and i have been working much more efficiently, i think. it is only the summer heat that makes me lazy.
and i got myself a pension plan. wow. things for the future. haha. i look forward to a good one.
oh! and i watched Duran Duran at Araneta Coliseum last week with Archie, Cecille and Oyet. surprisingly, it was fun! we were standing and shouting at times. is that good or bad?
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| you will always be the same. |
[10 Mar 2008|12:13pm] |
barcelona's kasey keller
velocity girl's i can't stop smiling
masters of the hemisphere's meteor
unrest's isabel
ribboncandy's the biggest fan of billy bragg
onestar's silver sodapop
winterbrief's me and p st. beach
origami's satellite
aden's why can't i make you happy
adorable's homeboy
rocketship's i'm lost without you here
morella's forest's separate
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| she bangs the drums. |
[26 Feb 2008|05:53am] |
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was in Baguio this weekend. no, i did not buy anything at the ukay, which made me a little sad, but the Wadaiko at the Convention Center made the whole weekend worthwhile. we almost didn't watch them because of sheer hunger and exhaustion reserving bus tickets for the trip home, but i'm so happy we did. it was amazing. they were intense and entertaining and such a happy bunch. their choreography was unbelievable. you should have been there.
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| the new face of zero and one. |
[04 Feb 2008|06:22am] |
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everybody loves facebook. even i do. but i think i'd like to come back to lj, which only a few people seem to remember these days. hello. let's begin again.
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| let me sleep. |
[11 Jul 2006|11:02am] |
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so sleepy. i don't want to work anymore. make it stop. make it stop.
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| it started in an afternoon. |
[10 Jul 2006|12:50pm] |
after quite a while, i am again editing a non-GMA project. hallelujah! it's an AVP for the Fully Booked event on Saturday where they award the winners of the Graphic/Fiction Awards. saturday is also Lyle's birthday and i haven't gotten him anything yet. eep. what wouldn't he buy? i wouldn't know. you know what i mean, ramon. and soon, it will be poks' birthday, then carla's, then ramon's, then my dad's, then mong's...
oh well. it will be christmas before we know it. then 2007.
anyway, i wonder if i should do more of these non-GMA projects. for one, lack of sleep makes me irrrrrritable, weak and stressed. but then, more money for me! the problem is, it makes me feel even worse to be at GMA because of the crappy timelines, the crappy pay, and some crappy bosses. and the 8-hour workdays. and taxes. but i love the bonuses, the monthly rice allowance, the SSS and medicard benefits. and i've found some wonderful friends here, become better at after effects, and am forced to write, which i sort of wanted to do for the longest time but never got around to it. i guess i just have to budget my time well. god help me.
i wonder if i should move back home after my one year contract at cubao expires, or find a new living space. if only i had the money, i'd move into one of those condos in ortigas or buy my own house already. ah well. someday.
i want to sleep! dammit.
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| idioteque. |
[22 Jan 2006|12:45pm] |
i was smoking a cigarette the other day at work with a friend from the 15th floor. we were talking about how a lot of the sales people were haughty and superficial. then she told me there was a rumor going around that i was some sort of lesbian. i laughed and couldn't understand why. so this is what i get for wearing jeans and sneakers, for listening to music nobody has heard of, for walking like some slacker who dreads going back to work, for hanging out with the boys for cigarette breaks, for not having a boyfriend. i laugh again and tell her, is this why anton keeps asking me why i don't have a boyfriend? well, i just keep answering him with, is it required? tsk, tsk. i guess people calling me mean machine does not help either. well, i am thoroughly enjoying it. it is such fun to cause a stir among these corporate shits. maybe i should try pinching some girl's butt in the elevator. hahaha.
so i have gone out drinking a lot this week. monday during office hours, thursday at UP with the marketing creatives, friday at marikina. it is great. i missed it a lot and feel i will be doing it more often again.
hello nelk.
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| obstacle 1. |
[09 Jan 2006|08:32pm] |
i have been having trouble converting and saving videos to my iPod video since i got it. sometimes, there isn't any audio because of multiplexed tracks, and iMovie or Quicktime Pro 7 just takes too long to convert anything. but lyle told me yesterday, use iSquint. he was right! it works! all those videos i wanted to save are now in my iPod and i am happy girl now.
i was thinking at work today about the weekend and realized i am not used to having too much free time these days. it was just weird having to wake up and not having anything to do. i am 60% done straightening up my studio and must remember to throw out my trash. geez. i am such a loser. i must buy a laptop for the studio already. i have been catching up on my reading though, which is good. maybe i should get a playstation, too.
how are you all?
belated happy birthday ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) panget and shmartypants!!! i hope you had wonderful birthdays!
congratulations lyle! you talented shmuck!
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| wowee zowee. |
[03 Jan 2006|07:21pm] |
Look out 2006, here they come.
The Strokes - First Impressions Of Earth
Cat Power - The Greatest
Belle & Sebastian - The Life Pursuit
Beth Orton - The Comfort Of Strangers
Bloc Party
Broken Social Scene
Built To Spill
The Buzzcocks - Flat Pack Philosophy
Elvis Costello
The Cure
Eisley
The Futureheads
The Lemonheads
Massive Attack
Mates Of State
Pearl Jam
Portishead
Pretty Girls Make Graves - Elan Vital
Racecar (?)
The Rakes
The Rapture
Slowdive remastered
Snow Patrol - Eyes Open
Sonic Youth - Sonic Life
Stereolab
The Stills
Travis
Wilco
Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Coco Beware
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| i don't feel any diff'rent. |
[02 Jan 2006|02:18pm] |
happy new year all.
so i spent new year's eve in cubao with lyle, carla, jun and edsel at the BM house. i finally got to play Death Cab For Cutie's The New Year at the right time and loud enough for their neighbors to hear, i think (the fireworks were going off like crazy precisely at that time). so we were finally eating and i ask them, where are your guests?
in between lyle and edsel's playing of cueshe and hale songs, carla and i get to talking about the most pogi rock band ever conceived in the Philippines. the vocalist must be, of course, the wistful Champ of Hale, the drummer is pretty boy Bogs of Pupil/Daydream Cycle, and the guitarist is Ira of Bamboo. but we haven't figured out who the bassist should be yet. he has to be tall, lanky and good-looking enough that no man nor woman can say he is not. oh, and he should be a bass player. lyle then pipes up, bukod sakin?, and carla and i roll our eyes in the general direction of the fireworks.
it is 3am and nobody arrives. i go upstairs to watch tv and promptly fall asleep. happy new year. i did enjoy myself though.
in the morning, i wake up to find a text from sleeplessplanet (who also attended, i think, all the nights of the Pyro Olympics exhibitions) that the new Mates of State is online at around 7am. holy cow. now that is some hardcore downloading. i salute you! we must YM again soon. when i am not quite so busy. have you listened to the new Belle & Sebastian? i love it. i also have the new Strokes, both of these from internet leaks. i am looking forward to 2006 releases from The Stills, Bloc Party, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, and Interpol (hopefully). ahh, what an exciting year this will be. already, i anticipate these to be four of my five top albums of the year. and they aren't even out yet! alavet!
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| last christmas. |
[24 Dec 2005|04:05am] |
tonight was the last christmas party of the season of the corporate world that i had to go to. the last night of gift-giving between semi-strangers and new acquaintances. it is, i think, the loneliest christmas of my life. i wasn't able to buy gifts for all the people i wanted to give gifts to. there was no shopping. i never even got to join the christmas rush. i wish i were a kid again. i wish i could hang up my christmas stocking by the garage door and set the cookies on the table before going to bed. and write a note to santa. and go to bed believing he exists. i wish my mom were still alive. and she'd tuck me in and put up the christmas decorations. and she'd wake me up on christmas morning because it was time to open the gifts. and there'd be so much candy stapled to a cardboard cone to resemble a christmas tree. when she died, i felt like christmas just died with her. christmas was hers. it really was.
i remember i was out with lyle, mikko, ianco, odie and edsel last week at the metrowalk hanging out drinking beer and watermelon shake. i remember the pending rush projects dumped on our team at the office at the last minute. until then, i had never known what the term swamped meant. i remember getting my iPod video a few weeks back and loving it. i remember the furball party and eating ice cream. i remember lia and quark's gift of pretty christmas lights, probably the best gift i got all night. i remember all the weekends these past few months lost to work and exhaustion. i remember all the things i miss. i miss fully booked. i remember the several taxi rides from work on separate occasions, tired and somewhat sad, needing someone to talk to. i remember checking my payslips and finding a huge amount gone to withholding tax. i remember waking up to foggy mornings during that point when the night turns into day. i remember you and you and you. and how much i wanted to hug you and thank you for everything. for saving my life. thank you for saving my life. i remember riding in trains and cars and staring at strangers' shoes every morning. i remember waiting for cabs and seeing young people and yuppies just going home from their christmas parties. i remember jumping for joy when i got my starbucks planner from lyle. i remember wishing for all the things i never had and all the things that could never happen. this is what i remember of the christmas season. soon it will be over and it will seem like nothing happened.
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| the life pursuit. |
[22 Dec 2005|06:53am] |
i saw this a few minutes ago in Andrew Bell's The Creatures In My Head website. the caption underneath was "it's not as good as i remember..." and i thought that described perfectly what i felt today. the furball christmas party just packed up a couple of hours ago and i am still awake. and i remember telling sleeplessplanet earlier, i feel like such a loser. i have to go to work in a few hours, i work everyday until the late night, i work on weekends, am still not rich, and i have no lovelife. and he says, all in due time. indeed. then i remember that i have no time for anything anymore.
it's not that i'm complaining. i'm not. i've met more people, made more friends, and discovered more new things this year than any other year in my entire life, i think. i am happier, more financially blessed, learning more, laughing more, reading more, dreaming more. it's been a good year. i can't believe it's almost over. but another one will come along and i think, it could be even better.
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| rage against the machine. |
[25 Nov 2005|10:13pm] |
wow! this is the first time in weeks that i have had time to make a decent post here! the last post i made was rushed and unfinished. so i plan to make a good one today and tell you about what's been going on.
hurray! i finally have time to finish my racketeering. the world bank avp and nu rock awards shit awaits. i am doomed. i hope crap computer does not fail me or i will lose my mind. really. storm1 is out to turn me insane with frustration. stop hanging and crashing fucking shitty computer! i will throw you out the damn window if you do this to me again, fucking machine!
so i have a nickname at work now. it's mean machine. they actually call me 'mean', as in 'that was great, mean!' or 'hey, mean, let's do lunch.' at least it isn't pinky ford or something shitty like that. it was derived from the first storyboard i made at work for a winners plug for some beer promo they were working on. well, i am mean, after all. i will be swamped with work next week as i will be editing around three 30-seconder plugs within one to two days. plus storyboard revisions, i think.
so, as i see it, my frustration with this kinda job is the people who just keep shooting down my ideas because they say my ideas are not 'eat bulaga' enough or i am 'not in the mainstream'. fucking pedants abound like shit in toilets. i cannot believe it. they want people to get even stupider than they already are. and some people are getting 'emo' about work and shit that they bring a bad vibe to my jovial disposition. get out of my face and sulk in your own little corner please. can't you see how happy i am? let me enjoy it while i still can! leave me be, dammit! go fuck your girlfriend or something. sorry, that was way out of line.
so there's this one officemate of mine who is just the most fucking baduy person i have ever known. for chrissakes! how masa can you get?!?! and another who is trying too hard to make himself look cool. i will destroy him. bwahahaha!
it is pretty clear that greed is the operative word in this kind of business. well, show me the goddam money then.
i still need to fix up my studio/sleeping quarters because i have not had time to properly put up the screen and curtains. it has been cold lately and i have been waking up wheezing and coughing. i need a thicker mattress and blanket. oh boy. it is december very soon. i need to christmas shop like crazy. yipee!
i have been eating a lot lately. i have spent tons of money on food these past few weeks. i hope i can manage to just pack a lunch everyday to save some money. soon.
suddenly, i miss going to gigs. i miss future prospects. i miss lia, quark, ramon, neva, carla and lyle. i miss waking up and wondering what to do with my day. i miss ukays. i miss lying awake in bed in the middle of the day. i miss fully booked and riding in cars. i miss veronica mars. but, i miss downloading most of all. haha. what do YOU miss?
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