friends

All I can realistically say, I suppose, is that I hope this week is better than the one just past. Or maybe even the last few, while we're at it.

*looks for some wood to knock on*

what kind of bagel are you?

[Oct. 12th, 2008|11:41 am]

upwiththemoon

whattt a fucking asshole.

The Friday Five for 10 October 2008...

[Oct. 9th, 2008|07:33 pm]

thefridayfive
[ariestess]

[

mood

amused

]

This week's questions are brought to you courtesy of an anonymous reader, the letter F, and the number 5...

What is the one most important thing by your side right now?
Why is it so important?
Can you live without it?
What is the one thing you can't live without?
Who is the one person you can't live without?
(sic)

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/thefridayfive/1466.html

Old sets that were used have been deleted, so please feel free to suggest some more! Remember that we rely on you, our members, to help keep the community going.

31 comments|post comment

[Oct. 9th, 2008|11:01 pm]

Go figure that the only person I can muster up the confidence and trust in to say I love you is already married with a kid, eh?

In other news, long week is long and my back is killing me. Really really.

Bring on the weekend, for the love of god.

[Oct. 8th, 2008|10:38 pm]

[

Tags

lyrical salvation

]

Give me hope for a restless heart. Where we'll go no one will follow, close.

Morning memories

[Oct. 8th, 2008|10:23 pm]

[	mood	\|	alright	]
[	music	\|	Neverending White Lights - The World is Darker	]

The time is rapidly approaching where I will leave for work and return during the "nighttime" hours, or at least hours sans-sun. Already when I stumble up the stairs at 6:45am to take a shower the house is pitch black. Walking back at 6:55am shows first light coming through the windows. By 7:15 I've reached the freeway portion of the drive and the sky is reaching its maximum morning beauty. Every morning I try to look as much as I can. The 8 - 5 life is going to give me thousands of mornings and I hope that the sunrise 20 years from now will look just as pretty as it does to me today. As long as I can appreciate it and wish I was watching it, I'm still me and everything is okay.

My favorite time of year is here - fall, and trench coat season. Back in the leather cocoon for another winter and I feel warm and comfortable in it. I'm at my most confident when I am the least visible - an everlasting effect of everlasting low confidence and self esteem. Yet for someone who seems to have so much going for him going into this winter you'd think that would change. Who knew self consciousness couldn't be bought away.

There's a million things I want to take pictures of and almost as many things as I want to say and write about. There will be time, even if I have to spend an entire weekend saying up and doing nothing but typing and snapping away. I feel like saying I miss things but I can't put fingers on what or how badly. My mind is starting to finally accept this as the new reality and get comfortable in it. Five months in and the boat isn't rocking, looks like it'll be okay to sail.

I've come to appreciate the little things more than I have before - weekends, quiet, and people who take a moment out of their busy lives to say hi to me, or to elaborate and make me smile. I know they'll always be there but it's nice to be validated every now and then, lest I let doubt ruin me.

Now if only this job and life were in Chicago.

hothothot

[Oct. 7th, 2008|04:17 pm]

upwiththemoon

Hopefully the turn out at the polls will be higher than the one at my house

[Oct. 6th, 2008|10:27 pm]

Attn Everyone:

If you happen to live in my neck of the woods or even if you want to couch crash a night, I'll be setting up TVs and liquor, also probably pizza, for what is sure to be an entertaining election night this coming November 4th. Anyone I know is pretty much invited, but you know how liberal I am, so if that bothers you I can guarantee a liquor-fueled ranting me would be quite too much to bare.

Actually it probably even won't be that extreme. Basically it'd be nice if I saw a friend or two since I'm rather locked away with work and school. Drop by and it might be intellectually appeasing. Or filled with ranting.

There also may be Red and Blue flavored koolaid, not at all politically suggestive.

I'll throw in a cup of orange in honor of Ron Paul. But only a cup.

[Oct. 5th, 2008|10:16 pm]

idiosincratik

whatever i still rule.

2 comments|post comment

[Oct. 5th, 2008|05:42 pm]

idiosincratik

[

mood

exhausted

]

just went to my girl tina's graduation party. awkward all around. i saw some girls from high school that i haven't seen since... well, 2002.
"i heard you had a baby! congrats! how are you & your husband?"
"yeah... about that."

you know, it'd be great if he tried to be nice, or at least civil to me. oh no, instead i get replies like this..
"what time am i picking ruby up tomorrow?"
"fuck you o'clock."

awesome.

i don't care for him any more than he cares for me, but really. he's going to be part of my life for at least the next 18 years if i like it or not.
my stomach knots up thinking about birthdays, holidays, first day of school..etc.
i get so angry when i'm out & see happy couples pushing their babies down the street. that should have been me. that should have been us.

& for all the wrong i did in that relationship, & i did a lot of wrong, mitch was no angel himself.
he was unsupportive, he had a temper, he taunted & teased me when i was down, he left me when i was sad, he kicked me out when i was pregnant.
yes, he paid our rent. yes, he fed us. but emotionally he was never there. he shut himself away & the chasm between us just grew & grew.
i keep hearing "it will get better". of course it will. how can it get any worse?
but i wanted a family, not just a child. i wanted a marriage, not just a wedding.
i wanted a partner in life, not just a roommate. i wanted to truly live, not just exist.

some days are better than others. i go to school & i excel. i'm with my friends & they love me for me. i create things & am proud of myself.
& other days i am back to square one.
i'm trying not to let today turn into one of those days.

The downside to reading Bash.org

[Oct. 5th, 2008|11:10 am]

[	mood	\|	meh	]
[	music	\|	City and Colour - Little Knives	]

DragonflyBlade21: A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

-----

Cutting the lawn looks more attractive to me now.

2 comments|post comment

*checks his watch*

[Oct. 4th, 2008|05:37 pm]

[	mood	\|	nifty	]
[	music	\|	Chk Chk Chk - Must be the Moon	]

Chk Chk Chk, they're pretty catchy. As I figured out today. And apparently ~~they~~ the album showed up last year. Just continuing my trend in excellence:

Jad: Six months behind the curve since 1983!

edit for bad syntax

2 comments|post comment

Friday Five for 03 October 2008

[Oct. 3rd, 2008|03:41 pm]

thefridayfive
[leanasidhe]

This week's set was suggested by

modyjendelson.

1) Who was your first kiss?
2) Who is the last person you kissed?
3) What is the story of your most romantic kiss?
4) What is the story of your worst kiss?
5) Who do you want to kiss right now?

Copy and paste to your own journal, then reply to this post with a link to your answers.

If you'd like to suggest questions for a future Friday Five, then do so here: http://www.livejournal.com/community/thefridayfive/1466.html

Old sets that were used have been deleted, so please feel free to suggest some more! Remember that we rely on you, our members, to help keep the community going.

25 comments|post comment

Thinking of others & calm

[Oct. 2nd, 2008|11:21 pm]

Intended audience:

unheardshatter - for almost stopping by the house :p also for reminding me to not be dumb

kamara - for getting me through some boring hours of jury duty on Tuesday

prettyh - for firing away with some opinions I need to hear about people I give too much credit to

angel_in_hell - for brightening the drive home from work today, and for talking for the first time in forever in a forever

unseeliekin - for also showing me tonight that there actually is a usage for my phone that doesn't involve reading CNN during lunch

And for everyone else...

Amidst home-based 'turmoil' (or, more pleasantly said - 'drama') I've neglected to note that I've actually had conversations with people recently that I a) haven't talked to in a while and b) did a great job at calming me down/taking my mind off of things/making me feel neat for at least a short while. I actually usually neglect to mention these sorts of things because every now and then I tend to take the network of people to talk to for advantage, and then really miss it when it's not there for a bit.

So endless revolutions in saying the same thing aside, thank you to everyone who helps me keep a cooler head than I would otherwise have if left to my own. You rule, friends.