Here · are · the · Things · I · Wanted · to · say · but · Never · Could...

I didn’t think it would come so fast, but it did.  My last week, day and night in the 505.  And here I am sitting in my dorm hall lobby thinking about it.

This is my farewell journal entry, just know that I will be back…

I owe a lot of people for the last week I was there and a bunch of others for the last night I was there.  I can’t believe it has come.  It came so fast.  I didn’t even see everyone I wanted to before I left but oh well, you can’t always get what you want.  I guess I will say what happened on my last day and night there in the 505.  This will take a while.

So I started the day at about 10:30 to get up and go to my haircut. After a few problems were taken care of it was finally off to get my hair cut.  Since I am coming from about 90’s degree temperature to over 100 degree temperature I figured I needed less hair.  I got basically the same cut just shorter.  Then I ran two errands to take care of some last minute shit and then it was off back home to begin the packing journey.  I got home and practiced the tuba and trombone so they could be ready to be put in the car.  Then the cleaning began.  I started off with cleaning up my desk so everything off of there I could easily get to.  My dad then began on my stereo and such.  While the stereo was being done I packed up the PS2, games, movies, and some random shit.  It was about that time that Todd Fawks called me up and saying that he wants to see me again at least for a little while.  Then he came over and started to help pack.  Soon the guitars, amp, laptop, and eventually my room was pretty much packed up.  My room looked pretty sad all empty like that.  It bummed me out.  Once everything was ready to be put in the car my dad asked if Todd wanted to go to dinner with us.  He agreed and then it was off to Olive Garden for a good farewell dinner.  After that we ran two more errands to take care of some last minute stuff.  Then it was back home to pack up the truck to take to Tempe.  We arrive at home and we first load the stereo and then the tuba up on it’s little shelf we built.  Then it was the guitars, amp, printer, scanner, board games, clothes, and trombone.  After that it was pretty much just finding a place for everything else that needed to go in.  in the middle of all this Adam and Alex call me up but I miss the call.  So I call them up and see what they’re up to.  Ended up that they wanted to come by with a bunch of people to hang out or just to see me one last time.  So after we finished packing they all showed up and we hung out for a little while.  It was nice to see all those people one last time for months.  It was then that it started to rain.  After we hung out for a while, most of the people had to go.  I’m glad it was raining.  The reason is it was hiding my tears.  That’s when the night’s first tears showed up.  Katey and Adam and Sarah and Alex T and were all gone now and it was just Alex J, Todd, and Neal.  First we ended up going to the Henderson’s because I still had the Radi key that they needed.  It was nice also because I saw Taylor and CJ one last time.  It was sad to say goodbye but I had to go.  So after we drove around a while we ended up agreeing on what to do.  We had to take Neal back to my house first because he had to go home.  Then we were off to Salsa dancing to “kidnap” Cody and take him to some place special.  So we went to that special place and it was incredible.  A great way to say goodbye to some of the greatest people I will ever meet.  It was incredible and definitely worth the oh about $25, especially for Alex ; ) .  so after we were at that special place for a good 2 hours at least it was off to IHOP for some food.  After chilling there it was off to Cody’s to say goodbye.  It was sad.  I won’t lie.  It was definitely hard as well.  We did a few nice long hugs and wished each other luck and all that jazz and then it was off.  As we drove away, I put out my hand to grab Cody’s one last time and that’s when more tears fell.  A sad fucking night.  Then it was off to my house.  After we got there I got out to throw some shit away.  When I got back to the buddies I went up to hug Alex.  The moment our bodies touched the tears began to stream from both of our faces.  After we hugged for a solid 3 or so minutes and talked to each other, he ended up having to go.  So fucking hard to watch him drive off.  Then Todd was the last person left.  We went into my house to grab the stuff that he had brought over to show me and to get the stuff that I gave him.  We also decided to play one last game of Thirteen.  But of course, he won.  Then it was time for him to go.  We went outside to his car and hugged each other and talked for about 5 or 7 minutes and then his mom called telling him to come home.  At fucking 4 in the morning.  He had to go.  He was the last friend to see and to say goodbye to.  When I got to my door I turned around and watched him drive away.  As he drove away, more tears fell.  Then it was off to pack one more thing and then off to bed.  What a sad fucking night.

That was my last and final day in the 505 for about four months.  Incredible night and sad ending, but that s how it has to be.  Sad but true.  I wish it wouldn’t have ended and wish it didn’t come but it has come and it has passed and I am here in Tempe and band camp begins tomorrow.  Incredible…

So here’s to high school and friendships that will last forever, to marriage proposals at age 4, to spring trips that spark friendships and inside jokes in minutes, to sitting outside in the cold parking lot just to talk to two of your closest friends, here’s to playing thirteen every chance you get, to flashing the shocker to certain people just because that’s what you do, to handshakes that look stupid but have inner meaning, to getting some stuff at the most unexpected times and places cough cough Alex cough, to talking about nasty stuff at lunch just so we can laugh the whole time, to Evergreen, to talking about our relationships either to brag or just to share, to finding love and then losing it oh so suddenly, to secret santa’s and discovering yours is a person who you’ve known for almost your whole life, to holding someone special of the opposite sex hoping for them to never leave your side, to talking special to get people to laugh, even if it’s just one person gurl, to playing PS2 until your fingers want to fall off, to spending some of the best years of your life with some of the greatest people you will ever meet, to rubbing on someone’s head and yelling out fluffy jut because their hair was fluffy that day, to playing music with someone so much you know right where they will mess up and get so happy for them when they nail it with it matters, to playing great music and a group of some of the best musicians you have ever met, to secrets that only a few people know and torturing the secret holder with it, to knowing just what will tick off another person when you want to see them get pissed, to playing poker and getting screwed in the end, to bowling and killing pins, to knowing someone since sixth grade and staying great friends with them, to knowing someone since pre-school but losing each other at elementary school but reacquainting at high school, to Arnie and his crew, to parties where you do nothing but sit around and stare at each other until someone laughs, to friends who are always there for you, to friends who will always be your friend, to finding a friend just so they can listen to what you need to say when no one else will, to loaning your sleeve to someone just so they will cry into it rather then into their own, to holding in feelings of love and never expressing them only because it would make everything implode, to bashing every teacher when we get the chance, to true love, to best friends, to staying out until 4 just to spend every last chance together, to driving other people’s cars just to have some fun, to Taco Bell, to playing PS2 until your fingers want to fall off, to DDR and Guitar Hero, to concerts, to playing guitar and making cheesy poems into songs, to friendship, to love, but most of all, here’s to life. 

Thank you everyone who has made my life so incredible, and to those who have made it a living hell as well.  Thank you to everyone who saw me the last week I was here.  Sorry I didn’t see everyone I wanted to.  Thank you everyone who has ever been there for me and who will still be there for me.  I love you all. 

And shit, I all ready miss you guys…

I love you guys…

Gabriel J. Sears

Current Location:	Sahuaro Hall Lobby
Current Mood:	sad
Current Music:	The Early November - Never Coming Back

I'm pissed...

There will be a great entry to come, so be ready...

Fucking computers....

Current Location:	Tempe Hotel
Current Mood:	pissed off
Current Music:	Cute Is What We Aim For - Finger Twist and Split

This goes out to the one person who had anything to do with this song...our first song...our only true song...

Gabriel

Damn I'm emo...

Current Mood:	nostalgic
Current Music:	Something Corporate - Konstantine

So I'm sitting here at work with nothing else to do and I've decided to update my journal.

A few things have been in my mind lately.  It's rather interesting.

Well, first off, my two new guitars and amp are the shizznazzle.  The Les Paul is a dream.  I've been working, practicing, sleeping, and hanging out a little bit with some folks.  Life's been ok I guess.  Could be better that's for damn sure, but it also could be worse.  Oh well, you can't always get what you want.  Oh yeah, I laugh at all you La Cueva peeps who start band camp tomorrow.  *laughs* Enjoy Mr. J's wrath that will be put upon you.  Enjoy!

Now...

I find it strange that there's only a couple people out there, if that many, who actually seem to want to do something with me.  A lot of people are like hellz yeah! to do something with me and nothing ever comes of it.  I read all this stuff about (insert names here, here, here, here, and here) and how it was awesome last night when we went and did (insert activity here, here, and here).  It was such a good night.  It kind of hurts when I read the names of a lot of the people who went out last night are some of my good friends.  It hurts when your friends are all out doing shit with each other but don't bother to try and contact you at all.  I mean fine, I'm busy, but that doesn't mean don't ever fucking contact me.  I'm not nearly as busy as I could be.  It pisses me off when someone is like fuck yeah dude we need to hang out and then just totally blow me off for weeks.  It hurts guys.  I read all kinds of shit about what you all are doing on one given night and it's like man, that sounds like fun.  But no.  Either you guys don't to try and call me to see if I'm busy, or maybe you don't want to hang out with me, or fuck, maybe you guys just don't give a shit.  And honestly, I'm leaning towards that last answer.  It pisses me off.  Some of you are like fuck yeah we need to do something, but no.  It never happens.  EVER!  It starts to hurt after a while.  As I said, yes I'm busy, but I'm not THAT busy.  Fuck, sometimes it just hurts ya know?  Fuck...

Another thing.  You guys also seem like you spend a shit load of money.  It makes me wonder, where the hell do you get it.  Some of you don't have jobs and yet you go out nearly every night and then puke in your LJ about it.  Where do you get the money to do all that shit?  I work my ass off so I can have a little money to spend here and there.  Fuck, it must be nice to be loaded I guess.  Not have to work for a dime.  Damn, must be nice...

Yeah whatever...

- Gabriel

P.S.  Dancing isn't for everyone.  Don't try to continuously put it in someone's face and ask them to do it over and over again if they want to go when they don't want to.  Dancing isn't for everyone.  And no, it's not my face I was referring to...

Current Location:	Work
Current Mood:	irritated
Current Music:	Children of Bodom - If You Want Peace, Prepare For War