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May You Be In Heaven An Hour Before The Devil Knows You're Dead

De Profuntis Clamo, Ad Te Domine

Created on 2004-11-12 00:26:10 (#5117458), last updated 2009-03-22

1,451 comments received, 1,431 comments posted

Basic Info
Name:God Is In The Rain
Birthdate:12-18
Location:New Albany, Indiana, United States
Website:Myoclonic Twitch (coming soon)

Contact:

_seasonofmists_@livejournal.com
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Everything the agent's been telling me makes perfect sense. For instance, if Jesus Christ had died in prison, with no one watching and with no one there to mourn or torture him, would we be saved?

With all due respect.

According to the agent, the biggest factor that makes you a saint is the amount of press coverage you get.

Around the one hundredth floor, it all comes clear. The whole universe, and this isn't just the endorphins talking. Any higher than the hundredth floor and you enter a mystical state.

The same as if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there to hear it, you realize, if no one had been there to witness the agony of Christ, would we be saved?

The key to salvation is how much attention you get. How high a profile you get. Your audience share. Your exposure. Your name recognition. Your press following.

The buzz.

It's only in drugs or death we'll see anything new, and death is just too controlling.

You realize there's no point in doing anything if nobody's watching.

You wonder, if there had been a low turnout at the crucifixion, would they have rescheduled?

You realize the agent was right. You've never seen a crucifix with a Jesus who wasn't almost naked. You've never seen a fat Jesus. Or a Jesus with body hair. Every crucifix you've ever seen, the Jesus could be shirtless and modeling designer jeans or men's cologne.


Chuck Palahniuk, Survivor
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