God Herself

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-12-26T21:13:00

2005-12-27T05:18:20Z

this was the best winter solstice ever!

$100 from mom
$50 from my aunt
$25 gc to macy's
$20 gc to jamba juice
$25 gc to starbucks
$100 gc to tjmaxx
a big cuddly cheetah
lady chatterley's lover by D.H. Lawrence
record player
lots of candy
lots of records
a shakespeare sonnet copied in kiel's gorgeous handwriting

and the only thing on my solstice list was the record player.
but kiel is by far the best gift. tehe :D

kiel come home. i miss you too much. :(

<3

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-12-06T21:12:00

2005-12-07T05:11:23Z

in my spare time, i like to look at pretty things because it doesn't remind me of anything, only stirring inexplicable emotions that i guess can be classified under euphoria or happiness but cannot be either for it is not as strong simply because they have no memories attached. i love orchids for their uniqueness and sexuality, roses for their chaotic pattern, and both for their fragileness. I love the ocean for its ancient secrets, the darkness for its understanding, and the sun for its gentle rays. I consider rainbows as one color. I also love the personification of abstract ideas and people who try to say there's a right and a wrong way to interpret something. I hate talking about things i hate. I believe the difference between love and lust is that love is fully accepting the other person's mind body and soul while lust is just an acception of the other person's body. I don't believe in good times, my life IS a good time. I believe in magic in a young girl's heart. I don't believe in words that are so broad it's hard to find a definition for them, it makes it hard to justify in everyday situations. I find a need to justify everything, especially things that need no justification, I know it's wrong but it seems like instinct to me. i write long sentences and get lost in them, only to find it useless to be writing anything because none of it will make any sense to anyone else but myself and if it does make sense to you you're probably using a different justification than the one in my head. I hope whenever a person who has read this and then meets me for the first time will think to himself "she's exactly what i thought she'd look like". That would be nice.

modern fairy tale

2005-12-07T05:09:40Z

He's sitting on the edge of the bed with dark blue covers around his shoulders. My room is too plain, he thinks, so empty. White walls, desk, chair, drawer, bed, girl, blankets, windows, venetian blinds.

But oh how the shadows of the blinds help to justify her body.

What he doesn't realize is that his room is indicative of his personality. Even when you open the drawers, the socks pop out like snakes and the boxers spill over. Under his desk are piles of magazines and books, no dirty ones, but he doesn't like people knowing his interests anyways. But as all boys do, the dirty ones are located under his bed. Inside a briefcase, underneath stolen panties and printed smut from the internet.

The girl calmly gets out of bed to search for her clothes. She can see it makes him uncomfortable for her presence to be sensed. But how could he? She wonders. My perfume entangled in his hair, his lips raw from the sucking and pulling, every touch still burning into his skin. And all he worries about is my nudity. My obscene female body contrasted against his boring room.

He can see her nakedness is bothering her. But it's not that she's naked, he thinks, it's bothersome because her beautiful classic female figure is contrasted against my boring room.

She stands up tall, 5 foot 9, coming like a bilboard for Victoria's Secret in her page-57-of-the-spring-catalogue's special edition black lace thongs with the pink rhinestones riding up her ass. She wears it to turn him on, which of course benefits her in the end, but lately she wonders why she bothers when all she has to do is reach for his belt buckle.

She resents this about men. Too predictable, fun to hunt, but not to chase.

Her luminous black hair barely covers her breasts, exposing two perfectly poised nipples. She's very aware of her chest at all times. One boob's bigger than the other, so she must know how to maneuver. She pouts and slips her thong back off.

"How old do I look to you?"

"What?"

"How old do I look to you? Standing here, naked as a newborn? No pubic hair, no clothing styles," she turns as if in a beauty pageant, "Come on, how old?"

"What's it matter?"

She lowers her head like a puppy, eyes to the ceiling and pouting lips, she whimpers, "Just wondering." Pause. "I want you to make up a story for me."

"A what?"

"A story. Look at me, my face, my arms, stomach, legs....make up a story about who I am, where I came from, my interests..."

"This is stupid."

She walks right up to him, looks down at him under her nose.

"Come on, was i molested as a child, or did my parents buy me a palace?" She gets on her knees and looks up at him with a hand strategically placed on his thigh.

"Did I have a dog or did my parents deprive me of every childhood friend?" She gets up slightly and leans in so she can whisper in his ear.

"Was I spanked for being a bad little girl or was I a child prodigy?" She feels his leg twitch and smiles.

"Look into my eyes, how old do you think I am?"

"As old as Gaia Herself."

She smiles, this is an unexpected answer from an unexpected boy.

His gaze strays to her breasts. She notices and gets up quickly, knowing she's overstayed her welcome. Men don't just want you to sleep with them, they want you to leave afterwards. Years later she'll accept the fact, but for now she's content with just understanding it.

It's too bad, she rather liked his hairy chest and the way she had to guide his fingers. She even liked how terrible of a kisser he was, but he did it with such passion, such conviction, it makes her believe he really wants her.

These are all the things he hates about himself, his hairiness, his inexperience, and if he knew he was a terrible kisser he'd hate that too. Why she's with him is beyond his comprehension, but he has a sneaking suspicion it's because his flirting skills have improved.

Her reasoning is simple. He's different. He didn't make the first move though she could tell he wanted her. He dressed nicely to fit the yuppie-living-in-a-multi-million-dollar-house-in-the-suburbs image. So different from the long line of drug experimentors turned drug dealers she was used to liking. Ones who gave a fuck, but not anything else.

She realizes now that their lifestyles may be different, but they're all men, and therefore all the same. They think she can't see through them, but she can. She's too young to equate sex with betrayal, but as he would say, better now than never. And she would've supposed him right, better now when she's able to handle everything than to be completely oblivious to it.

Before she leaves, he gives her a kiss because he thinks it's polite to do so. It pisses her off because she knows he's only doing it to be polite.

As she leaves, she looks back at his house. So plain, dripping with a snooty air. I wonder what he'd think of my room, she wonders, my personality applied to every inch of the walls in thick paint and collages.

It just wasn't meant to be.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-11-28T21:35:00

2005-11-29T05:35:58Z

caitlin and i are writing a book. we came up with this great idea to have a book of questions and thoughts that arise on mushrooms. it'll only make sense if you read every other word. because that's kind of how shrooms work. i'm gonna take lots of stuff from my writings. and then there's gonna be a few really odd things that you'll only understand while you're shrooming like, why do colors taste like memories and not fruits? and, believing in gravity is kind of like believing in god. you don't have any evidence of it at all, it's not tangible, but you believe in it cuz hey, what else would make sense? contact me somehow and tell me what you think.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-11-26T11:06:00

2005-11-26T19:09:04Z

i had a wierd dream about kiel last night. he sent me a package and i was helluv excited cuz he sent me a present. and i open it and there's another box inside. so i open that and there's another box. etc etc. finally i open the last one and it's empty.
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW how symbolic. i wonder if everyone else's dreams are as symbolic as mine?? everytime i type it into freakydreams.com it's spot on. genevieve and i were talking about symbols the other day and how i keep seeing EVERYTHING as something symbolic. anything anyone does is totally symbolic of who they really are and i didn't realize it at the time but i guess my dreams are like that too.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-11-20T18:20:00

2005-11-21T02:20:33Z

i just turned in my UC apps. it's SUCH a relief.

LA
berkeley
santa barbara
san diego
santa cruz

hopefully i'll get into ONE of them.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-11-07T21:26:00

2005-11-08T05:26:47Z

last week was the most horrible week ever. but karma will make this week better, i know it will.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-09-25T10:33:00

2005-09-25T17:33:35Z

Invalid video URL.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-09-05T14:19:00

2005-09-05T21:38:21Z

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/usweatheraidasia

nonono, bangladesh wants to donate a million dollars to relief efforts? does bangladesh MAKE half of that in a year?!?! i don't think so. but of course you know, it's bangladesh, full of awesome buddhist monks and whatnot. so of course they're gonna try and help. but what did the US donate for the tsunami? not even a fraction of what was available. it was like...2% of our GNP. they're offering like, what 300% of their GNP? that's absolutely ridiculous. but of course it's so touching, i'm not ungrateful, and i know nobody in asia's ungrateful for our donations, but i think rightfully we should refuse aid when we can handle the situation ourselves. the only reason why it's not being dealt with is because all the rich people in the US are only rich cuz they're greedy motherfuckers. but it's cool that even the poorest countries are trying to do whatever they can by sending in doctors. that's what we need. we need doctors and volunteer workers, counselors, no construction workers and i'll tell you why. everybody who had a job in new orleans now has no job. the best way to get them jobs is construction work, that'll help to restimulate the economy in that area. money's probably the last thing we need.
and now that all the oil refineries along the gulf coast are destroyed, gas prices go up, companies start the lay-offs. and it won't be those rich corporate whores or middle class computer engineers who'll lose their jobs, it's going to be the common factory worker. blue-collared man who's been trampled on by the system all his life, now he's just gonna get more screwed over by the system.
and another thing, if new orleans was primarily a white-bred, white-colored, pleasantonian kind of city, you think it would've taken this long for aid to come? you think they would've sealed off the city and not let anybody go to the neighboring cities where there IS electricty, where there IS a walmart, where there IS fresh water, where there ARE people willing to take them in? NO. there is NO fucking way the senators would've stayed on vacation for 4 days after the hurricane and THEN decided what time and day to convene and deal with the situation. there's no way president bush would've stayed in his texas ranch. they just DON'T care! they DON'T! they're NEVER going to care about the honest blue-collar worker of the united states. these people aren't stealing because they're hard criminals, they're doing it because they CAN, they're desperate, they need help, but mostly because they're pissed that the government isn't doing shit to help the situation. i'm not blind, i know there's some pretty bad ghettos down in that area, but even then when some disaster like this happens, people will help each other out, which they have and do. but these people have NOTHING, so of course they're going to break into a store and steal some food and dry clothing. i can't explain the shootings though, those people are just plain out of their minds, but that still doesn't mean the majority of the people down there will react in violent ways. especially if you just let them get out of the city and on to a neighboring one where there's supplies and dry places to stay.
i seriously can't rant enough about this subject.
i miss greg.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-09-05T11:30:00

2005-09-05T16:37:58Z

i don't think anyone can comprehend how awesome my life is right now. got really drunk yesterday in the afternoon off jose guervo and coke and chocolate syrup which surprisingly tasted HELLUV good, but of course after i puked it all up, i don't think i'd have the same thoughts if i drank it again. passed out on cayleigh's couch and i feel hElluv bad cuz her parents came home and i was still pretty damn sloshed and cayleigh didn't get a chance to hide the handle before her parents saw it. so we bounced outta there pretty quick. grayson drove us cuz we were all pretty damn drunk and delivered corey his bday cake. aaaaaw, corey's 19!!! and he's got his shit together and i'm soooo proud of him. who said acid was a bad thing? govt just doesn't understand cuz they've never tried it before. they just don't understand the good acid and shrooms and the occasional x can do for society. anyways. this jackass stole from tyler's house but we got him back pretty good and i don't think he'll EVER be going around to that house again. no one in the world should EVER fuck with tyler or that house. not JUST because everyone in there is sick as fuck, but you have to be pretty stupid to think you can fuck with stuff and not have all 4 guys that live there come fuck you over and then have the other people that hang around the house all the time come and fuck you over again. i love that though, what a sense of community you know?

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-31T21:45:00

2005-09-01T04:45:10Z

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-30T20:53:00

2005-08-31T03:54:05Z

yoyoyo, i'm a senior this year. it's pretty exciting but kind of scary too. i know after november 15th though, i'll have nothing else to worry about.

i started off the school year pretty shitty. so far i've accidentally yelled out what the fuck in front of two teachers and my cell phone went off during comp civ on the first day of class. about TWO MINUTES right after mr. ladd said, "yeah, i've been waiting for a cell phone to ring all day so i can confiscate it." oh that and i've been sick since saturday. doctor has no idea what it is. my throat is horse but it's not soar, it only hurts when i swallow, there's two bumps on the back of my head that just keep getting bigger, they're hard and you can wiggle'em too. doctor says it might just be a bacterial infection somewhere in my body, he just doesn't know where. but so far he's narrowed it to somewhere in the upper torso. thanks doc, you're lots of help. my mom's taken it upon herself to cure me instead of just getting me some antibiotics. she's using all kinds of crazy chinese shit, but it's cool cuz i trust it and what doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. thanks nietzche.

i'm hoping maybe some day in school some guy will eventually notice i'm not just some stoner asian chick who's abnormally tall and gifted with a nice ass, i want him to notice i've got a mind of my own too and that i'm going somewhere in this world and whatever/wherever it happens to be it's just going to be awesome, and that's that.

i'm president of the democrats club this year and i really want to do it justice. a lot of conservatives in pleasanton are just those typical california conservatives. socially liberal but economically conservative. i want kids at our school to realize this and make up their minds for themselves which is more important to them, civil liberties or economics, instead of having their rich ass parents chose for them. i want to raise money for sudan and do the adopt a child program. hey, it's only 80 cents a day. i'm sure out of the entire student body we can bum 80 cents a day off them. even if it's just 80 pennies or something. it's still money and it's still for a good cause.

there's a picture going around the internet, i'm not sure how old it is, but when i get a good copy of it, i'm publicizing the shit out of it. it's a picture of this african man walking to this red cross or some kind of food donation place to get food and following him is a vulture. the man who took this picture was so depressed he killed himself. i think the picture is beautiful and the story behind it even more touching. i'm sure it'd make a powerful statement to show everyone and hopefully it'll really help us fundraise for sudan. i know lots of guys in good bands too, maybe they'd like to play a show and people can pay 5 dollars to get in, all the profits of course will go to charity.

new orleans. wow. i hope greg's ok.
so much death and destruction in one week. i guess my summer of love has officially ended.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-25T22:34:00

2005-08-26T05:34:32Z

Which Sublime song are you?

What I Got

You don't cry when your dog runs away, you don't get angry at the bills you have to pay. You don't get angry when your mom smokes pot, hits the bottle and goes right to the rock. And you can play the guitar like a motherf...flippin' riot.

Click Here to Take This Quiz
Brought to you by YouThink.com quizzes and personality tests.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-25T21:49:00

2005-08-26T04:50:59Z

andre nickatina concert last night was sick as fuck.
him and z-man signed my pants.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-21T12:59:00

2005-08-21T20:42:06Z

one week left of school. yaaay. i've had a great fucking summer, a little bit of drama towards the end but hey, it's all good. i keep telling myself i'm moving out of the party scene, but i know that's bullshit. i just love it too much. i'm sooooo ready to be enlightened before school starts. you can't go looking for shrooms, you have to let them find you, they are sacred and magical and when they present themselves, you know it's time. you know it's time to forget everything you've ever learned and believed in and relearn it to a deeper and more meaningful extent. they found me over the summer when i had no money, but i tripped anyways cuz cayleigh gave me two fatty stems and i took a couple hookah rips and tripped balls. but now, now my babies have found me again, just before school starts, they will make the transition much easier. ah, they know me all too well. everyone i've talked to who's done shrooms know exactly what i'm talking about. everyone else just thinks i'm insane.

thizzed again friday night and that was awesome. cayleigh and i called up helluv ppl at around midnight. sorry if we pissed you off hehe, but christ that was so fun.
"jaws clenched tight we talked all night
oh my what the hell did we say?
the good times are killing me"
~modest mouse

dylan got his ass beat by cory. that was cute.

beliefs unify. religion seperates.

someone jacked my ipod. he shall pay in blood.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-15T11:28:00

2005-08-15T18:29:41Z

they're making an aeon flux movie.
with charlize theron.
hot.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-08-04T14:22:00

2005-08-04T21:32:00Z

i had a freaky dream that diana and i were being chased by the government because we found out this top secret lab that rearranged our DNA and gave us super powers. we could fly, become invisible, and walk through walls, but it takes a lot of energy to do so we're flying south to get to mexico when we hear a bulletin that the police are all heading south as well so we start flying west to the ocean and stay along the coastline til we get to canada. we don't get enough rest though so we collapse up on this hilltop surrounded by barbed wire and there's kangaroos everywhere with laser guns trying to capture us. then diana comes up with this great idea to tame two kangaroos so we could ride them out of there. TOTALLY sounds like something diana would attempt as well doesn't it?
then i woke up and went back to sleep and dreamt that my mom was being a bitch again and kicked me out of the house so i went to costco, got some adoption papers and tyler adopted me and i got live with cory in his room....whaaaa?!?!

<3 i had a lot of fun flying.
i'm really bored.
bio pirates - AWESOME signs, but i reeeeaally don't care.

i <3 shroomies

2005-07-26T20:02:45Z

love isn't complicated, from a scientific point of view it's just all these different chemicals in your brain reacting to a certain face you find attractive. so then how could anyone put love in terms of emotions? the only way you could explain it philosophically is that love is just acceptance. and if you explain love this way it can be used to describe any kind of love in the world, motherly love, passionate love, love for siblings, family and pets. it can be used to even explain a bond between two people. i accept you for who you are and you accept me for who i am and now there is a bond between us. and this bond is SO strong it's hard to break, the only way you can break it is if that acceptance is not there anymore, but it can't disappear very easily or quickly at all because if you accept the other person for every fault and quirk it is hard to change your perceptions. and even though you may hate your siblings, you accept them for who they are because no matter what they are still family and years from now you know you'll still love them because of all you've been through. and if you think about it really, it's not that hard of a concept, so why is there so much hatred in the world? because of fear. if you can't accept another person, it's not their fault, it's your own because you're afraid they might not accept you back or they could stab you in the back. but it's worth forming a temporary bond just to see if they'll stab you in the back or not because that pain is only temporary whereas a good friendship/love will last you an entire lifetime. it is so much easier to just change yourself than it is to change everyone else around you. it's not really conforming at all. would you rather be a pessimistic asshole to everyone and not trust the world because that's how you perceive it, or would you rather be a forgiving, accepting, lovable character that everyone trusts because that's how you perceive others? sure it may bring heartache; i'm not ignorant and think everyone in the world is nice, but just stay away then from those who have not yet learned this important life lesson because there are so many others out there who will love you just the way you are. those who are pessimistic assholes, haven't they ever woken up in the morning and wondered how there could be so much love in the world? because it exists, it is out there for you, because no matter what you believe in, it does not change the reality of the situation. i don't care if you believe in god or not, because if you don't and die and god actually does exist, he's not going to be like oh wait, you didn't believe in me? i guess i don't exist then...you can just stay in this state of limbo instead of going to heaven i guess. and the opposite is true, if you believe in god and die and he doesn't exist, no matter how faithful you were, no matter how much you believed in him, it does not change the fact that he does not exist. the reality of the world is that everyone has a BIT of good inside, unless they're a sociopath. the truth is, there are people out there who love you because of who you are no matter if it's your parents or your dog or your brother or your lover, and we need to take time to appreciate that because this acceptance is so hard to come by when everyone in the world is so afraid and couped up in their own shells. there's no secret in getting people to like you, all you have to do is have people feel comfortable around you and they will like you. if they know that you accept them, don't care what they look like, what they wear, what they talk like, then that is true comfort, not an ounce of self-doubt or self-conciousness. and of course in return, they will accept you as well.

we as a civilized society take everything for granted. respect and honor, love and communication, intimacy and trust. it's all so hard to come by so when you do, don't take it for granted. when you communicate to someone else, small talk is petty, nobody in real civilized society gives a fuck about your day. no really, try it, "how was your day?" "Shitty" "oh...." (walks away). unless they are trully close to you will they actually care why your day was shitty. and i can't take that kind of communication anymore, i want to get to know a person to the deepest depths of his/her mind and emotions. i want to make that connection and show how important he/she is to me. even though if my life were made into a movie, they'd show up in the credits as "guy with black hair #4" they were still in it. they were still in my life and made some kind of contribution. i may not like my past, but i don't dwell on it, i embrace it like it should be embraced because everyone moment of my life has taught me something or other and has shaped me into the person i am today.

in india the way the train elephants is when they're a baby, they'll be tied to a sapling with a flimsy piece of rope. when they're adults and you tie them to a big tree with a metal chain, they'll just break the chain or the tree or both, but if you tie it to a sapling with a flimsy piece of rope, it will not even TRY to get away.

a person born blind and later gains the ability to see cannot tell the difference between a cat and a dog because that person has never learned the visual differences between a cat and a dog, but if you let that person touch it, it will instantly know this is a cat or this is a dog.

there are trillions of bits of information hitting our bodies all at once but we chose to ignore this not because they are unimportant, but because we never learned how to process all of it at once. do you think it's because we're incapable?! NO. we are not incapable of anything! our minds are so powerful, so strong, but evolution has not yet taught us HOW to perceive and process all this information. but in due time it will. and where would that put us? already they have done studies with people who have multiple personalities. one personality will get absolutely hammered and pass out, then change personalities and not one drop of alcohol will be detected in his system and he will be completely sober. that is how powerful our minds are, we just haven't learned this yet.

i was once a sperm and an egg, two totally seperate and different things from two totally seperate bodies. all with one goal. to make a human being. to make life. if any woman is ever brought down by a man, know this, he does not have the ability to create life. as soon as there is enough chromosomes in the egg, it can and will divide, there is no use for a man. we are the ones who carry the baby for 9 months in our wombs and suffer the agony of birth. our wombs are a primitive small scale version of the primordial soup. under the right conditions, life is formed. this ability is another thing that was but shouldn't have been taken for granted as soon as civilized societies were built.

the reason why the symbol of love is the heart is because back in ancient times there was a plant that was so effectively used for birth control it became extinct. when the fruit from it was cut in half, inside was a little groove in the shape of a heart where the seeds were kept. this is not cute, it is not sweet, it'd be the equivalent of having little pills be the new symbol of love. it opened the door not just to having sex out of love, but more rape and more self-destructive behavior from women themselves. but history cannot be changed and so i do not condemn sex. i love sex. i just say it's time we seperated feelings of love and the physical act of fucking. a lot of people have already realized this but you'd be surprised at the amount of people who don't and still cling to their "firsts". because although nature gave us the ability to seperate these two things, our minds cannot because thousands of years of social evolution taught us not to.

religion seperates when it should unify.

peace love empathy

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-07-17T12:30:00

2005-07-17T17:20:21Z

i beat the system and got my lj back. here's what it ORIGINALLY said:

dylan, you can have my livejournal for all i care. i just want you to be happy, and if this is what makes you happy, then go for it. the best i can do now is just support what you want to do because everything else is failing. lj's are pretty pointless anyways, they're just here when i'm bored out of my mind. i will always love you because you were my first love. it's like what david explained: after we broke up you constantly thought about me but when i wasn't giving you the attention you wanted back you got confused by all those emotions and instead of thinking, i think about her all the time because i still love her, it got changed to i think about her all the time because i hate her. and instead of channeling all the energy into something creative and helpful to society you channeled it into something destructive instead. i know you'll realize this all someday, or maybe you already have you just haven't come to terms with it. but i know you'll find a girl someday who deserves you much more than i ever did and i know you'll be happy together. just remember what i used to tell you, you can't be unhappy because if you're unhappy then there's no hope left for the world.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-07-13T10:07:00

2005-07-13T17:22:15Z

david got me a new pipe on monday! it's pink and yellow with a pretty flower on the bowl and it's name is rose because we were really stoned and thought of a great reason why to name it rose, but when we sobered up we either forgot the original version or it just wasn't as funny when you're sober. anyways, it's resinated now so it's like this awesome copper green and pink and the flower turned...well it turned lots of different colors. tehe, it's exciting. we christened her at people's park in berkeley.

this has been the best year of my life, i've learned so much about people and about myself and my perspectives on life have totally changed. i feel like i've become a better person and i've got david to thank for it.
<3

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-07-04T13:53:00

2005-07-04T19:02:07Z

this is so pathetique, i've tried ignoring him, yelling at him, reverse psychology and i've beat him up twice in front of all his friends who just sit there pointing and laughing and what does he do? start a cult that worships bill o'reilly and the pope. his ego is too big, i can't believe he can fit it all into his stupid mini-van.

i'm just so pissed right now i can't even articulate what i want to say. but i think diana puts it the best:

O Reilly Faction: Extended Definition

A bunch of kids in Pleasanton who have formed a shitty make believe gang. Ringleader the pope. They go about at night on special missions of the utmost importance. One such mighty accomplishment is going to the ringleaders ex gf's house and drawing on her car and her house. Another example of their craaaazy antics is how one "Mr. Peepers" wrote a certain "Mad Rabbit" a letter of honorable discharge because Mad Rabbit rejected a member of the faction and chose to associate with people outside the faction. Aye indeed a crime of terrible sorts it was. Im sure i'm not the only one who is impressed by that sort of awesome. Other such missions include going to the skatepark to protest about something no one cares about to a nonexistent audience

Shorter Definition:
Douchebags.

and i really don't know who to feel sorrier for, his little brainwashed minions who have no other friends and that's why they have to follow his sorry ass around just to feel accepted, or the pope, who's being used because he's such a spoiled rich boy who also has no friends and needs a constant following of worshippers just to feel somewhat secure about himself.

I don't know who to feel worse for. You and you're complete lack of dignity and empathy, or for your brainwashed cult members who will severe friendships because you got rejected.
--and whoever posted that, kudos.

it doesn't even matter how the pope treats me as a person, we've got our own problems/fights to work out, nobody else needs to get involved. what DOES set me off is how the pope treats other people. brainwashing them into thinking he's "awesome", giving those he doesn't like a "notice of honorable discharge", drawing all over people's driveways, protesting at skateparks, treating his gf's like shit and all the other bullshit things he does.

so yeah, this whole thing has nothing to do with me and my pride or whatever, because he does this shit to everyone

the point is he's acting like a 7 year old who knows tiny bits about politics from the radical writings he's read. he uses his followers in order to numb his own painful insecurities.

well guess what you spoiled rich brat? everyone's insecure, and you least of all should be, because you've got everything, you've got a fucking home entertainment system and a multi million dollar mansion. this is life, fucking deal with it.

~~~~~~~edit*
it turns out dean, chris and ramsey are the only decent people, unless bob's in the faction too cuz he's pretty cool too, anyways, they're the only ones that posted comments saying i was taking it too seriously whereas everyone else did a snobby "i'm better than you/you're fat therefore you suck" comment. that's the way this whole thing SHOULD be taken, as a joke, as a fun thing to do.

and i guess what really ticks me off is that there's people around town now that i don't even know the names of, who i've never before met in my life, who i've never even said hi to that think i'm the most evil person in the world, because anyone who's actually had a conversation with me knows i'm pretty chill. and that's not like an ego thing too thinking i'm the best i'm awesome everybody loves me, there's people who won't like me, and that's cool i don't need everyone in the world to think i'm the greatest person ever cuz i've got plenty of friends and a great support system, but the point is when you don't like a person, it's usually because you've talked to them and they said something you don't like or did something really fucked up. neither of which i have done to anyone except the pope. so yeah people, it's between me and the pope, please don't take his hyperboles to be truth and DON'T take that faction seriously. think of it as just a fun thing to do because you're bored and have nothing better to do with your time.

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-06-25T18:43:00

2005-06-26T01:43:51Z

http://news.yahoo.com/photo/050623/photos_pl/mdf591374

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-06-21T09:52:00

2005-06-21T16:59:09Z

my mom's gone crazy again. it's of course about pretty much the same thing as before, she thinks i need to change my major because it doesn't make enough money. and i'm like fuck that, if i get a free ride through college, which i can with my scores, then i'll do it, and it won't even matter what my major is. i'd be perfectly happy being a professor for the rest of my life if i have to, i just don't want to do anything i don't want to do. cuz i'm going to live a pretty long life and i don't want to sit in my windowless cubicle breathing in stale recycled air for the rest of my life thinking what my life would've been like if i had done something i wanted to do. and like she totally doesn't get it and started screaming in the kitchen and i'm like oh fuck she must've sliced her finger off or something, and so i go outside and she's just standing there calmly doing the dishes. i'm like oh ok, so i went back inside to do whatever and then i hear her crying i'm like oh FUCK THIS. i hate you, when you cry, all i can think is YES I DID IT!!! I FINALLY MADE HER CRY! i can't fucking live like this anymore, she's always breathing down my back, i can't go on the computer without her coming in every 5 minutes saying something stupid like "stop talking to your friends online!" like dude, mom, it's summer, i can talk to my friends online if i fucking want to. like she's just a controlling bitch and she likes to control things that don't need to be controlled. so yeah, i'm sick of this. my plan is to just couch hop for a while until my dad gets back from milwaukee and when he does get back this time, i'm not going home until he agrees to get her into some kind of mental institution or at least set up an appointment with a psychiatrist or something. and yes, it'll have to be a psychiatrist, hopefully they'll prescribe some kind of sedative.
but otherwise, does anyone have any other suggestions? cuz it's not like she hit me this time or anything, so me leaving isn't really legit, but like, it's for her own good you know?

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-06-19T22:58:00

2005-06-20T05:58:47Z

Born today, you are one of those rare and fortunate individuals who seems at all times to be on top of the world. No matter what your career choices may be, you are destined for success, provided that you do not let your resolve weaken or your focus become blurred. You are original, creative and highly critical of yourself, others and the status quo. For this reason, you are usually at the forefront of any major endeavor and others are quick to accept the fact that you were not born to follow. You're always on the cutting edge.

Your personal life may be stormy, actually, after a seemingly slow period of development; you are the classic figure of a late-bloomer. Still, you are sure to enjoy more than your share of romantic intrigue in your lifetime, until you finally realize that what you've always wanted has been right there by your side the whole time.

that's right bitches, i am 17 today. WOOOOOOO!

_sadomasochrist @ 2005-06-06T19:07:00

2005-06-07T02:09:33Z

http://news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&u=/ap/20050607/ap_on_go_su_co/scotus_medical_marijuana

these women are savage. way to make a fucking statement, "i'm going to keep smoking whether the government likes it or not, if i don't i'll die, so arrest me fuckers!" haHA! how awesome. anyways, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal despite what david was making it out to be, but still, this sucks cuz clubs are all closing down by next week.