_sadiehawkins_

hypocrite.

dear matt,
YOU MAY BE HAVING TONS OF MILKSHAKES AND WHATEVER ELSE YOU SAID... BUT MELANIE AND I STACKED UP ON PEANUT CHEWS. TONS OF EM. SO MUCH THAT OUR BABIES WE WILL NEVER HAVE ARE GOING TO COME OUT LOOKING LIKE PEANUT CHEWS. BEAT THAT !!!

what i want for christmas.

the One tree hill second season dvd set!
a big piano keyboard
and, walkie talkies.

thats all. because i dont need anything yeah. do it up the butttttttt with melanie all day long yeahhhhhhh

man, im getting so bummed out about the situation im in. its definately hard being the third wheel or the barrier in a cindarella love story. im thinking about dropping out of the situation just so i dont get caught up in the hurt part. anyway. it looks like im getting tag teamed by matt and melanie, so here i go.


List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre,
whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be
songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your
Livejournal along with your seven songs. Then tag seven other people to
see what they're listening to.
1- comeback kid- wake the dead
2- earth crisis- firestorm
3- frou frou- holdin out for a hero
4- comeback kid- changing face
5- cherem- a new dawn breaking
6- ace my face- do it in the butt
7- james miska (sp?) - ghost with the most.
Tag: i dont have friends.

I HATE MY LIFE WHERE ARE MY FRIENDS OH YEAH THEY DONT LIKE ME BECAUSE I TAKE IT IN THE BUTT GUHHH IM GOING TO GO HANG MYSELF. CYA.

i think im having a baby.

last night i did 14 lines of coke. it ruled.

hello again. one more thing: i take it in the butt. like, all the time. even from creepy dudes i dont know. because im cool.

hi, my name is courtney. i take it in the buttttttttt. i leave myself logged in at my hot babes room, and im really jealous of her because shes so hot. man, i would do her.

so i dont use livejournal. I havent used it till i was 3 years old. um... im not mad. but the only reason im on here is to lurk mels page and do her up the butt via internet.

im not mad

what the hell am i still doing on Livejournal?

i have like 5 friends

jen, matt, andrew, and diddy

jen- I love you! are you okay? things goin good? i hope so.

Matt- I'm addicted to speedy bingo- talk to me sometime eh eh?

andrew- Future b to the f. maybe justkidding/yes/no?!

diddy- i read your thing about marco and joe. i bet they miss you lots too. you should come visit for grad? ay ay?

okay and then theres a person i dont remember. im sorry

He asked her name
She shook his hand
Got in his car
On no demand

His eyes met hers
She did not know
That he didn’t like
To take things slow.

He layed her down
Turned off the lights
She screamed and thought
“this isn’t right”

Behind her smile
She cries cries cries
Her lips still trembling,
Biting his lies
Weeping whispers
Clenching teeth
Sadness follows
What’s in beneath.

She took the course
Paid the price
For useless thoughts
On thinking twice

One year to the day
She lost control
He took her life
Buried her soul

No one knew,
He was the cause
She never told
His tragic flaw.

She left a note
Her parents read
Telling his truth
That left her dead.

here take my heart..
oh you dropped it its just on the floor..
oh hey.. no your stepping on it..
just fucking stop. move move. just move your foot..get off, its right under your foot..no don't pick it up...
no you cant have it.. fuck.. give it back..
thats not how this works..
stop.. your killing me..
i just cant.. i just cant...

You have a surprise kiss! Your partner is always
pleasantly pleased to have you jump outta no
where to dote them with a fun peck on the cheek
or more passionate embrace. super markets and
work places are your favorite places to attack
your loved one with all your love =p


What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

current clothing: Spandex pants, mini skirt over and a off the shoulder top.

 current mood: confused.

 current taste: water.

 current hair: messy yes.

current annoyance: the sound of msn and aim buzzing.

current smell: taco''s mmm..

current thing you ought to be doing: Homework. wow this pretty boring yes?

current jewelry: I have my anklet that i made this summer that i never take off, along with my bracelet i made in the summer that i never take off.

current book: Aubrey's ashes.

current refreshment: Water

current worry: What my senior year will be like.

current crush: yes.. but he's just a confusing boy.

 current favorite celebrity: Not sure?

 current longing: america and my friends there.

current music: Death cab for cutie CD

current wish: to be happy when i wake up and look forward to what the day brings me.

current lyric in your head: "i cant drive straight." I can make so many meanings in that.

current makeup (if you're a girl!): Nothing, i just washed my face.

current undergarments: Boy shorts and a pin striped bra. My luck bra. It brings all the boys to the yard ;)

current regret: None

current desktop picture: Jessica Rabbit. Yowww.

 current plans for tonight/weekend: three day weekend.. get my freak on?

 current cuss word du jour: Cunt. I just love that word.

 current disappointment: I made a scene.

current amusement: Writing lyrics to ma song..

 current IM/person you're talking to: My exboyfriend Leigh Monay.

current love: Nicholas.

current obsession: smoothies.

 current avoidance: ryan baxendale and food between lunch breakfast and dinner.

current thing or things on your wall: Pictures from the beginning of my move here to jkt to now. My wall is full.

current favorite book: Porno.

current favorite movie: Monster.

a p p e a r a n c e . x.

HEIGHT: 5'7 x.

HAIR COLOR: black, blonde, pink.

x.EYE COLOR: brown x.PIERCINGS: Tongue, industrial, 4 ear peircings left ear 6 gauge, and navel.

 x.TATTOOS: None yet. .

r i g h t n o w . x.

WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING?: black

x.WHAT SONG ARE YOU LISTENING TO?: Death cab for cutie, line of best fit.

x.WHAT TASTE IS IN YOUR MOUTH?: water. These questions are becoming repetetive. x.WHAT'S THE WEATHER LIKE?: i found it nice today.

 x.HOW ARE YOU?: I am okay.. just okay. .

 d o y o u . .

. x.GET MOTION SICKNESS?: No

x.HAVE A BAD HABIT?: Several

x.GET ALONG WITH YOUR PARENTS? Absolutely

 x.LIKE TO DRIVE?: Yes, love it so much. .

 f a v o r i t e s .

 x.TV SHOW: Sex and the City. YES YES! and family guy. haha oh jeesus

 x.CONDITIONER: Kerastase Nutritive

x.BOOK: STOP IVE TOLD U TWO TIMES ABOUT MY BOOKS. LOOK UP IF UR SO INTERESTED.

 x.NON-ALCOHOLIC DRINK: Diet coke.

 x.THING TO DO ON THE WEEKEND: Get massages, play on my campooter. And play tennis with erika.

x.BAND OR GROUP: band.. they get mroe respect from me. .

 h a v e y o u . . .

 x.BROKEN THE LAW: Many times

x.RAN AWAY FROM HOME: yes when i was 7, my baby sitter shut the garage door on me so i ran ran ran and rolled under the garage door right before it shut. I was like little indiana jones. x.SNUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE: Yes oh yes.

 x.MADE A PRANK PHONE CALL: Of course. heh i was cool doing it though. I hooked 7th graders up.

x.EVER TIPPED OVER A PORTA POTTY: No.. the only reason i get near those is if im desperate.

 x.USED YOU PARENTS' CREDIT CARD BEFORE: Yes haha.. they found out like 10 minutes later.

x.SKIPPED SCHOOL BEFORE: Yes

x.FELL ASLEEP IN THE SHOWER/BATH: bath yes.

x.BEEN IN A SCHOOL PLAY: yes once. never again.

x.LET A FRIEND CRY ON YOUR SHOULDER: Many times

. l o v e .

 x.BOYFRIEND: .no.

 x.GIRLFRIEND: .no.

x.SEXUALITY: Straight. But i loved one girl.

 x.CHILDREN: No, but I want a daughter.

x.BEEN IN LOVE?: I wont know until im dead.

x.HAD A HARD TIME GETTING OVER SOMEONE: Yes oh yes.

x.BEEN HURT? a couple of times. maybe twice?

 x.YOUR GREATEST REGRET: calling that love.

x.GONE OUT WITH A SOMEONE YOU ONLY KNEW FOR THREE DAYS: hahaha yes.

. r a n d o m .

x.DO YOU HAVE A JOB: No

x.YOUR CD PLAYER HAS IN IT RIGHT NOW: death cab for cutie. jesus these questions make me sick.

 x.IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?: I would be... mmm.. white. Hardly any one uses white.

x.WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?: My friends.

x.WHO MAKES YOU THE HAPPIEST?: Katie and erika. and my friends in utah.

x.WHAT'S THE NEXT CD YOU'RE GONNA GET?: let me check. .

w h e n / w h a t w a s t h e l a s t . . .

x.TIME YOU CRIED?: hmmm.. did i cry over the weekend? No.. I cried last monday.

 x.YOU GOT A REAL LETTER?: 10th grade. caitlin where the fuck are my letters.

x.YOU GOT E-MAIL: Today Whoray!

x.THING YOU PURCHASED: A membership at my local fitness spa.

x.TV PROGRAM YOU WATCHED: E exclusive story on pamela anderson.

 x.MOVIE YOU SAW AT THE THEATER: School of rock. I dont like going to the theatres. .

 y o u r t h o u g h t s o n . . 

 x.ABORTION: hmmm.. Depends.

x.TEENAGE SMOKING: Whatever, i dont smoke so i dont care.

The self...

        is a mythical entitry...

It is a philosophical muddle...

  to allow the space which differentiates "My self" from "myself" ...

       to generate the illusion of a mysterious entity distinct from...

                   the human being.

His hair was blond and I heard him holler over the din, "Hi!" I glanced up and said HI. He asked: CAN I SIT? I answered: NO. He said: MY NAME IS DAVE. I said: GOOD. He sat. He leaned close to me across the small table. stuck out his hand and said, What's your name? For the next few hours he talked. And talked and talked. I decided that i would sleep with him. I did this, went about mentally seducing men just for kicks. The point was never the sex. I hadn't ever enjoyed sex much, and wouldn't for several years. The point was the game and the game was not simply to get someone into bed. Men are embarrasingly easy to seduce. The game was to get them to fall in love with you, think you were the most astonishing woman they'd ever met in their entire lives, and thinkgs went according to plan, fuck them up forever. Wasted- Marya Hornbacher

I hate my friends on here because no one gives me love </3.  FUCK fathers, FUCK marriages, FUCK love.. thats what i say.. You know your in love once you've both died still married and infatuated with one another.. You'll never know if the feelings faded until you die, unless you divorce.. like them. FUCK Lies.. He lied to their face.. FUCK his dignity. Never fall in love, just FUCK until you cant FUCK no more.. theres no such thing as love.. or compatability.. you can't prove it to me, your all kids, you know nothing about love.. again, you'll only know what you have found when your lying awake on your death bed with your lover naming stars after you and making all of your wishes and dreams come true before you die..

When i get my dose of breast cancer i wont want to cure it.. i want a man to fall in love with me and lose me.. so we will never have let the love fade.. he'll always love me afterwards.. ill always be in his heart..

 

I hate the fact that she's by herself.. all alone inside.. four fucking years of lies..

There is nothing to look forward to.. don't be so sad, don't dwell on how they've broken your heart.. it wasn't true.. Just pray you won't die alone.. and pray that you'll day in love and loved back.. The pain is so much better than losing something that haunts you for the rest of your life.. while sitting in the family portrait smiling at the flash.. i wonder if they hated taking the picture with their hand on your shoulder pretending everythings okay... was a simple photograph a lie?

We're all amateurs.. especially you.

I know you lie to me, but i don't let it get to me because i dont expect you to tell the truth. I expect the world to tell everybody what they want to hear, am i right? I like hearing your lies, it makes me feel special. Don't worry there are times where i sit and remind myself that everything you said was just bullshit, why do you think i still talk to you, why i still let you talk to me the way you do?

You lie, I lie.. Well gosh, i guess its just a natural inborn humanistic feature..

"Trust no one and no one will let you down." Tsunami Bomb

 

SkiesSoBlue: Whoa.....
SkiesSoBlue:Man I just saw something
Some1yernot: I'm glad that you are here. I got to start to thinking ....
SkiesSoBlue: And seeing things so clear....? Cause now how could I forget What she left..What happened in November Is that what I needed?
Some1yernot: And I'm sorry, that it shows
But life ain't so bad you know.

SkiesSoBlue: Now the skies such a sweet blue
Some1yernot: You made this come true.
SkiesSoBlue: My heart feels so new, whoa...
Some1yernot: Its now wonderful to see beautiful views.
SkiesSoBlue: Like skies that are so blue, whoa, whoa!
Some1yernot: I'll never leave us you know?

SkiesSoblue: I turn it off for this
Looks like we got what we wished.
Some1yernot: It snowed in Texas, but you missed it...(the 1st time since '86)
And I can't stop thinking of how wonderful this is. 
SkiesSoBlue: I'm sorry, I sound glad, but I'll always be so sad.

SkiesSoBlue: Now the skies such a sweet blue
Some1yernot: You made this come true.
SkiesSoBlue: My heart feels so new, whoa...
Some1yernot: Its now wonderful to see beautiful views.
SkiesSoBlue: Like skies that are so blue, whoa, whoa!

Some1yernot: Ba Ba Ba Ba....
SkiesSoBlue: Ba Ba Ba Ba.... ?

SkiesSoBlue: And I know that sometimes oh I might feel alone, so broken, cold
Some1yernot: Now I'll show that I know that

SkiesSoBlue:The skies such a sweet blue
Some1yernot: You made this come true.
SkiesSoBlue:My heart feels so new, whoa...
Some1yernot: Its now wonderful to see beautiful views.
SkiesSoBlue: Like skies that are so blue, whoa, whoa!
Some1yernot: I'll never leave us you know, whoa!

 

 <3 <3 .Happy Valentines Day. <3 <3

Im on the right..

Dying
Is an art, like everything else.
I do it exceptionally well.

I do it so it feels like hell.
I do it so it feels real.
I guess you could say I've a call.

-Sylvia Plath