urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn dancing in the moonlight Robyn 2006-06-03T06:45:22Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:128277 2006-06-03T03:03:21Z 2006-06-03T06:45:22Z there was a 4 week old baby on the plane. it didn't cry once, slept most of the time, and cooed. i got really upset because i didn't want it to die when the plane crashed. it had only been here for a month!<br />then i thought how nice it must be to be all curled up in that blanket. right now that baby doesn't have to worry about getting picked on at 4, won't think about getting raped at 8 or having to know how to defend itself at 12. it won't worry about divorce at 30 and breast cancer at 50 . that baby doesnt care about whether or not another baby is skinnier. that baby doesnt count calories or cry through broken hearts. that baby, at 4 weeks, knows nothing of hate and all about love. and for some reason i have a weird optimistic hope for that baby. i want it to grow up and stay as untainted as it is now. i want it to keep all it knows about love and save the fuckin world. that's why i almost cried everytime there was turbulence; i didn't want to lose that baby thats going to save all of us. the plane landed. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:128071 2006-05-26T12:13:00Z 2006-05-26T12:13:00Z 5 page film noir project. spells good times for the long weekend! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:127836 2006-05-25T17:47:51Z 2006-05-25T17:47:51Z Dear Sara,<br /> Concerning your intense irritation towards me, I’ve taken this time to write out a letter. This one, right here… <br /> The point at which Frank and I have found ourselves is to stay separated until every aspect of a potential relationship has been thoroughly analyzed. On my part, I’ve taken this time to come to realize that whichever decision Frank reaches I will support. If he decides staying broken up but friends is the bets idea, I’ll understand it. Of course I will, I did something horrible to fuck up a good thing we had going. I’ll accept it and outright respect that decision. But if he will willing to give it another shot so am I. All that will change in our relationship before is that I will take all the things I’ve learned from this breakup (cheating is NOT happy fun time or acceptable EVER, acknowledging you love your boyfriend is a good idea, etc etc) and apply it to a relationship that matters, i.e. one with Frank. <br /> I understand that you have a severe concern for Frank’s well being and heart. I can have nothing more than respect for that because I admire that you care so much. But you have to understand that if he does decide we can try this again, I will be taking all my changes and throwing them into the mix. I’ve not outright learned to be a better girlfriend. I learned what I was doing wrong. Some obvious (cheating=bad. Not good. Ever!) Some were more subtle (show appreciation instead of assuming he knows). I want to experience a relationship with all these changes applied, and I can do that for Frank. <br /> This is not rash or strictly emotional decision making. This is marinating the idea from a million different views and taking note of what would need to be done to make the relationship work from each stance. I don’t have a team of reassurance here in New Milford. No one has felt sorry for me, nor should they, I don’t want pity or reassurance or even support. Not in the least. I just want to fix it. Not erase it or pretend it didn’t happen, but take the things I’ve learned and improve the relationship from here on. And I know I can do it. I know. So for all those reasons I ask you to take into consideration and I can only hope you aren’t disappointed in me any longer. Because not only am I thinking about what I want, I’m thinking about what I need to happen in a relationship like this. Things like no, I can’t get away with infidelity, or ignoring the S. O., or anything else. That’s all. Thanks.<br /><br />Xoxox Robbi urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:127622 2006-05-20T20:35:10Z 2006-05-20T20:35:10Z ouch.<br /><br /><br />oh and chris Z i didnt mean to be a bitter bitch on thursday. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:127406 2006-05-14T18:23:23Z 2006-05-14T18:23:23Z prom was okay, denny's after it was better. i have a cell phone now. 203 788 0418 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:127001 2006-05-10T01:35:02Z 2006-05-10T01:35:02Z i wrote a little haiku about work, it doesnt flow very well but here it is<br /><br /><br />i hate people's kids <br />get the fuck out of my store<br />angry old ladies<br /><br /><br />ta-da urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:126762 2006-05-09T01:01:50Z 2006-05-09T01:01:50Z dear god i've completly forgotten how to write anything worth reading. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:126575 2006-05-06T21:29:50Z 2006-05-06T21:29:50Z SAT's wre merciless but i did meet a nice boy from brookfield high. he was floppy haired and surferish. maybe gay, im not sure. then got my shoes and fishnets. shoes are the ballet slippers with the ribbons that tie up your leg. PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS MOTHA FUCKERS. ^_^ urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:126332 2006-05-06T01:47:36Z 2006-05-06T01:47:36Z khurch63 (9:45:11 PM): stop being a fucking push over<br />khurch63 (9:45:18 PM): stop letting gross boys hit on you<br />khurch63 (9:45:20 PM): stop taking crap<br />khurch63 (9:45:36 PM): if people bother you tell them to fuck off<br />khurch63 (9:45:38 PM): the end.<br /><br /><br />sums it up in a nice little package.&nbsp; what a boyfriend. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:126012 2006-04-27T19:15:48Z 2006-04-27T19:15:48Z idon't like the dentist. i don't like getting novacaine. i don't like my lips puffy and lopsided as wellas my cheeks, and trying to smile when it feeels like they weigh 8 tons. i don't DON'T like the sound of the drill. i don't like having towalk half a mile to my moms school from the dentist for a ride home. and having 9 year olds gawk. and then having to pretend i like them. i patted one on the head. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:125856 2006-04-09T16:23:39Z 2006-04-09T16:23:39Z good weekend. oklahoma was intense. and um...awkward at times, but mostly badass. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:125562 2006-04-07T01:59:56Z 2006-04-07T01:59:56Z today i witnessed a boy get a half hour detention for not picking up a pencil he dropped quickly enough. today i was threatened by a 20 year old. today i found out my baby is moving and he doesn't remember me anyway so it doesn't matter. today my mother meddled with my relationship. today i was punched in the mouth. why do i only rant lately? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:125347 2006-04-05T22:35:32Z 2006-04-05T22:43:15Z Who Killed Marilyn? The Misfits <p align="center"><strong>Close Encounters of the Dumb Kind<br /><br />Characters:&nbsp; Robyn Rivero, a tall girl who plays computer games and downlaods shitloads of music.<br />Adam Rivero, a dumbass.<br />Setting:&nbsp; Robyn Rivero's computer room.&nbsp; Bandit can be heard scuttling in his cage looking for his igloo.<br />Scene 1<br />Robyn is sitting at the computer talking to Bryce and Josh and listening to Hybrid Moments.&nbsp; Enter Adam.<br /><br />ADAM<br />What time is it?<br /><br />ROBYN<br />6<br /><br />ADAM<br />What are you listening to?<br /><br />ROBYN<br />The Misfits.<br /><br />ADAM<br />Ew, they're emo.<br /><br />ROBYN<br />. . .the Misfits?&nbsp;<br /><br />ADAM<br />They are everybody says so.<br /><br />ROBYN<br />You're an idiot.</strong><br /><br /><br /><br />im feeling very constrained.&nbsp; no. SUPPRESSED.&nbsp; RESTRAINED.&nbsp;&nbsp; by my parents. again.&nbsp;&nbsp;&nbsp; my hair style and color are on very tight restrictions.&nbsp; All piercings are forbidden.&nbsp; But Katy's belly button ring is okay because she's skinny and you can't see it.&nbsp; I know i have my tattoos but I get guilt tripped about them eveeerrrrydaaaay.&nbsp; Things as simple as having to stay after school even a half hour late result in severe punishments.&nbsp; Going to wal-mart or to run errands with one of my friends would count as "going out."&nbsp; so if i DID want to actually go do something i hear, "you went out all this week!"&nbsp; mom, i went to big Y.&nbsp; music they've never heard is disgusting, places they've never been to are forbidden,&nbsp; people who aren't wearing sweater vests and bermuda shorts are banned.&nbsp; seriously, my parents are 12 year old cheerleaders. they talk about my friends to ME behind they're backs.&nbsp; they even picked on frank.&nbsp; frank looks normal!&nbsp; but no not only are we freaks, we are socially repulsive and we should all be shipped to a little island run by nazi's.&nbsp; no really, you hear about a teacher giving a nice girl like i don't know, like mandy wooden or something a hard time and it's "oh thats not nice what could she have possibly done to deserve that!?"&nbsp; mr. shaffer whips out a flame thrower and sets bear traps around my desk and it's "well what did you do!? you obviously provoked him!"&nbsp; yeah, me and my god damn habit of breathing.&nbsp; they're clothes!&nbsp; it's hair! no one asks "why?" when jocks want to wear trucker hats and starch they're collars 'til they're stiff enough to harpoon someone with.&nbsp; its okay if they (and my sisters) have been getting highlights since they were 10.&nbsp; once a month.&nbsp; i want to dye my hair an eccentric color once a YEAR and suddenly hair dye is bad. maybe i'm not badass enough to bleach or whatever my hair or wear what i actually want to wear or not have to listen to all my good CD's on my headphones because if they heard them my dad would break them in half like he did with my casualties CD.<br />i don't know.&nbsp; i hate myself for being too scared of my parents to do what i want anyway but i don't really see a way around it because seriously, i can't. i can't. i'm not over-reacting and if i actually did do what i want they'd back down. no they'd fuckin explode and fire and brimstone and shipped off to military school. so really. i CAN'T.&nbsp; and that bothers me even more because i'm not even in control of myself.&nbsp; i'm being programmed and structured and ruled and there's nothing i can do about it.&nbsp; i'm helpless and pathetic.&nbsp;<br />and it pisses the FUCK out of me.</p> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:125094 2006-04-05T00:13:07Z 2006-04-05T00:13:07Z frank's thoughts revealed on my mother:<br /><br />me: frank guess where my mom is right now.<br />frank: . . . . . church?<br /><br /><br />and i erupted into joyous laughter. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:124767 2006-04-02T22:33:25Z 2006-04-02T22:33:25Z i hate being told what i can and cannot do. if you make a huge deal out of proving your power over me not only am i going to rebel i'm doing it 10 times whatever i was going to do in the first place. yes i know that's the most immature thing imaginable and it wont really prove anything to anyone but it makes me feel like i can wriggle out of the death grip for a little while. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:124586 2006-04-02T21:25:39Z 2006-04-02T21:25:39Z ah life sucks major cock. sorry. no nevermind, it does. i feel like im chained to a cuddly clingy tree who thinks he understands me and would like to but really hasn't the foggiest notion. and im extremely introverted around him. no talky talk at all and it would've been so much better if they would've freakin let me go to kaylas hick party. or redneck party. whatever. but no because apparently new york is another country and no one told me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:124343 2006-03-29T02:46:03Z 2006-03-29T02:46:03Z i have a boyfriend. his name is frank. frank edward larson III actually. he has red hair and does BMX and has a german shepard. i like him a lot. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:124121 2006-03-26T21:25:07Z 2006-03-26T21:25:07Z i recieved a hat, a sweater, and a decorated mixtape. i cuddled sara and sang her Rancid songs to make her feel better, and i tried not to complain when she thrashed in her sleep. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:123718 2006-03-24T21:05:17Z 2006-03-24T21:05:17Z aaaah. im not ignoring the kayla. when i can't hang out its not because i WON'T hang out its that i CAN'T hang out. i havent been doing much hanging out with anyone. the last person i "hung out" with was sara because she drove two hours to do so, so of COURSE im going to stick around. its not like im like "hmm lets purposely ditch my best friend to stay home and fight with my mom! woooo party!" uuuuggggh i dont want her to feel like i dont love her anymore. that's all. but now that i think about it dont hang out with her as much as i'd LIKE to, that's true.i mean im not going with her tonight, and im spending the weekend at sara's. i'm just gonna make a conscious effort to hang out with her more because honestly, i don't. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:123475 2006-03-24T20:32:33Z 2006-03-24T20:32:33Z my mom is acting like my going out tonight AND sleeping over sara's tomorrow will result in the end of the world. robyn has social plans? apocalyptic.<br />tomorrow will be good though. saras at 2 and sleeping over eeeeep! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:123199 2006-03-22T02:28:08Z 2006-03-22T02:28:08Z in an especially random installment:<br />why i'm lonely<br /><br />sara is sad and lives far away and is leaving.<br />kayla works and our schedules collide so i dont get to see her as much as i crave<br />sam does colorguard<br />vinny bounces around and is never home or able to hang out<br />casey does her choppy kicky thing<br />frank lives a million miles away.<br /><br />i've had an epiphone. im not a communicator. like i AM, like i talk a shitload. but like, i don't know i talk about things, but not THE things and then when i flip out its totally random to everyone but me because i've been following along in my head all along. but the our live studio audience has no idea. and then i feel bad but im pissed because they werent following along but i dont expect them to. so. yeah. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:123084 2006-03-21T21:13:36Z 2006-03-21T21:13:36Z taco bell for dinner tonight. eeew. then bryan comes over we dish over our boyfriends. or...his boyfriend and my...boy...thing...who wears a hat and rides bikes. we'll keep each other amused by telling random stories about assorted boys with floppy hair, and sex lives, and that crazy excersize thing bryan always crawls over when hes in my basement. AND i need to see Stay Alive this weekend. i need to. sara if i come to your town we have to go. PLEASE. i know its lame because its like...a bloodier Jumangi but jesus christ i wanna see it so bad. thats all for now. im spent and my bangs need to be cut. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:122755 2006-03-21T02:17:21Z 2006-03-21T02:20:55Z okay... so um. i miss frank, a lot, and that makes me extremely nervous. like its good though because im not sitting here worrying about things i usually worry about with boys, like will i cheat on him? will i get bored with him? blah blah blah. but like...um. this is extremly uncomfortable, like being probed or so i imagine. um...okay its like i really like him. a lot. and it bothers me because like... i dont work in the relationship thingy..like i implode before it even starts, but im just imploding now because it hasn't started yet. or something. i dont know. but see i find myself like doing math homework and then randomly i realize that im making plans with frank in my head. its sneaky. and then like, i'll talk to him and be all happy, and be worrying the entire time we're on the phone that i'm not doing enough to make him like me and then i get off the phone and i'm lonely. and it's dumb, but there i am, not being able to do any homework because i need to be cuddled. yeah i said it, cuddled. shut up don't give me those looks like since when do i have a soul. um but im very worried that um like...um. 'cause im really putting myself out there, you know? and um. yeah. so what if everything goes horribly horribly wrong? and the thing that worries me about THAT worry is that even though im completly paranoid about it, it gets shoved out of my mind when he calls me and i can't help but get all like....fluttery. and god i'm making an ass out of myself. most of my nasty anti-relationship habits don't turn up when i talk to him which is spectacular, but i'm worried i'm pushing him away unintentionally out of habit, but i know im not so then i worry i'm being clingy. either way i'm worried i'll be left all alone. but even that doesnt bother me when he calls because. you know. and stuff. and like, i have such speaking issues around him because i dont know what to say and im nervous about THAT coming across as being bitchy. but once again he calls and all that fills my mind is "he called!" and then i swoon. yes, i swoon. okay i'm done, i've completly lost all pride, dignity, cyborgness, and any scrap of hardcore i had. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:122406 2006-03-20T02:04:00Z 2006-03-20T02:04:00Z pretending they're asking about guys:<br /><br />dresses like a grandma: my grandma wore mumu's and aprons so no. but i do like the plaid and suspender grandpa look. especially with a fedora. thats hot.<br />plays musical instrument: on unless they're dicks about it.<br />is taller than you: on<br />has chapped lips: off but i always force chapstick upon men so i guess it doesnt really matter.<br />has green eyes: on<br />has blue eyes: on<br />has brown eyes: on<br />has long hair: on<br />has short hair: on...unless its physically impossible for me to play with it, in which case OFF.<br />has curly hair: on<br />drinks alcohol: honestly i dont care, he can be a total lush as long as he doesnt make an ass out of himself.<br />smokes cigs: on...its bad i know, but i cant get the whole stereotypical schoolyard rebel thing out of my system.<br />smokes weed: dont care as long as if he doesnt hes not an asshole about it and if he does thats not all there is to him.<br />big boobs: ahem...im taking this as a matter of the pants. and i mean come on...obviously.<br />has blonde hair: mmmmm i suppose on.<br />has brown hair: on<br />has black hair: on<br />has red hair: on (*blushes intensely*)<br />works out: on unless hes points out that i have to too, in which case he loses his balls.<br />smiles: on<br />calls you just to say Hi: on<br />Doesn't eat meat : on unless once again he gags everytime i have a sandwich or something.<br />smacks your butt: on...yeah on.<br />compliments you: on<br />wears jewelry: on<br />has smaller feet than you: what the f no off mas dos.<br />smiles when you walk into the room: on<br />Belly piercings: dude ANY piercings.<br />Virgin: off (i dont know why, dont ask questions)<br />Laid back: on<br />Doesn't party: specify!<br />likes to party: specify AGAIN<br />laughs a lot: on<br />pierced ears: don't care<br />Tattoos: unless its a too realistic spider or felix the cat...on.<br />Honest and Open: on <br />tongue piercing: ...ON! <br />talks to you: on<br />asian: off<br />white: on<br />latina: on<br />hard to get: only if i know i'll eventually get him, no lost causes. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_robyn:122300 2006-03-20T01:36:40Z 2006-03-20T01:36:40Z sooooo frank. frank edward larson the third. yeah.