why is my life crazyyyyyyyy

SO WHATEVER MY PLANS HAVE CHANGED.

Long story short: graduating in May, not December.

Long story long: professor last spring was supposed to give me a W. gave me an F. have contacted her twice and she has agreed to change the grade each time but not actually done anything! two weeks ago I took matters into my own hands, but the paperwork will not be complete by graduation, blah blah my grad date has been delayed until May. could be worse.

Still planning on going to library school because I am just that awesome.

Had a nice Thanksgiving break despite the fact that Thursday itself was a very painful day and I ended up going to the ER on Friday for a ruptured ovarian cyst. The waiting room smelled exactly like Taco Bell. It was uncanny. I floated around on pain meds until Sunday and got my shit together on Monday to make it to class. Am totally on top of all my school work and ready to be done with this semester. In order to keep my job next semester, I am taking an online course, which will be fabulousssss because I will have omg so much free time.

I'm reading porn at work right now. Bad idea? Probably. I am paranoid my boss is watching my screen even though all common sense tells me HE WENT HOME AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO AND PROBABLY HAS BETTER THINGS TO DO THAN SPY ON ME! But if he is spying on me, I hope he likes porn.

I made my parents facebook accounts and now my dad has yet another place to nag me to update my stories. This is kind of hilarious. It's always Emerson, too. It might actually be working, because I have plans for chapter 10. FINALLY.

Not much else is happening right now. Spending most of my time reading ebooks. KA Mitchell, Josh Lanyon, and Jordan Castillo Price are all lovely, lovely people. I also recently read a print book, Hero by Perry Moore, which was also very entertaining.

And that's about all I'm up to.

(the library smells like chocolate cake right now. I am in love with this place.)

While perusing publishing sites to kill time at work, I came across this tip from Bold Strokes Books:

Sexual euphemisms or trite references:

Should be avoided when referring to body parts.

a) A clitoris is not a “nubbin” or a “love button” or a “nub.” Likewise, it rarely grows up to be a flower or a tree, so “bud” is out, too.

b) A vagina (usually too clinical) is not a “love tunnel.” The action, such as “entered her” or “took her inside” or “urged her inside” or “slipped inside,” etc. can often substitute.

c) Clitoris, labia, lips, pubis, center, crotch (especially in erotica), buttocks, hips, butt, ass are all fine; try to stick with them. “Mound” is okay in a pinch but never “love mound” or “netherlips” please.

d) Breasts are not “orbs” (actually, neither are eyes).

+100 points. Also, lolololol forever. NUBBIN. LOVE MOUND. ORBS. LITERARY GOOOOLD.

HEY KINGDOM HEARTS FANFICTION UPDATE, LONG TIME NO SEE.

DIPS, Chapter 2. If you happen to remember this story. At all. It'sss. Kind of old.

Original fic updates to follow soon. Maybe. Hopefully. Until then, enjoy this.

Two Piglets from Winnie the Pooh sharing a milkshake.

I don't have writer's block that I know of, but that's the happiest answer I've ever had to a Rorschach inkblot, so I felt the need to share.

This is the saddest request I've ever made.

Did anyone happen to, like. For some reason. Save a copy of chapter 13 of How to Grow Fruit when I had it up on FP? >> Because I absolutely can't find it anywhere. And I would like to post it.

I haven't written much lately because I'm a big whore. Sorry about that. I've just been loafing around playing Mario Kart for the most part. There is something about being able to look at my VR score and say "IT'S OVER NINE THOUSAAAAND!!" that I find too appealing to give up. I'm in the eight thousands now, so WISH ME LUCK, PRZ. WORKING V. HARD ON MY DREAM.

Actually, I lied a little. I have been writing. It's just, uh, nothing I've shown a lot of people. Maybe a handful. I call it "hungry hobo" or simply "hobos" in my head because the first line mentions a hobo, but that is not a very good title, because it is not actually about hobos. It's about a rather effeminate gay man and his neighbor. I have about 25k written, but I'm going back over the last part because I think I crossed a line somewhere and took it from "tolerable" to "NO WAY IN HELL COULD THAT HAPPEN" -- and, um, something pretty unlikely already happened. So yeah. REWRITES, AND IT'S NOT EVEN DONE. If I can think of a title, maybe I'll post it.

Other things I've been doing! I joined as a judge at Sweet Revolution Awards, which is an award site much like SKoW, except solely for slash fics on FP. Nominations are open, by the way. Check out the list of categories and send your appropriate (meaning slash, archived on FP, in English, original works) nominations to sweet.revolution.awards@gmail.com. Also, I'm judging Funniest Story, so hey, maybe nominate some stuff for that so I have things to read. That'd be awesome. Make sure to include 'Nomination' in the subject line of your email. :)

Oh, also, omg, this is the worst thing ever. I got put on some antibiotics and had this terrible allergic reaction to them, and I have been covered in hives since Saturday night/Sunday morning! I am so itchy and disgusting. I got put on steroids to make it go away, and I'm just hoping it doesn't make me crazy.

Also also, I am turning 23 on Tuesday, so that's exciting. :D

:(( is anyone good at writing blurbs for stories? BECAUSE I AM NOT.

I do not have an icon happy enough for this.

Chapter 9 of Emerson.

ENJOY.

Okay, so I'm planning on an Emerson update either really late tonight/sometime tomorrow if all goes well (and I should not put a time on that, because I just KNOW that will eff everything up, but still), and I was wondering... WOULD SOMEBODY PLEASE READ THIS FOR ME BEFORE I POST? I need someone who will be able to see things like, "hey, would Emerson be okay with that?" or "DID EMERSON JUST TOUCH THAT WITH HIS BARE HAND?" or "fjdskafdja this sounds like a retarded 5-year-old, not Emerson!" and stuff like that. YOU KNOW? A little more in depth than looking for typos. IT'S ASKING A LOT, I KNOW! But I'm just way too deep into this thing to be able to see that kind of stuff clearly.

So, uh. *scuffs shoe nervously* Any takers?