Cordelia Chase ([info]_queen_c_) wrote,
@ 2004-11-07 22:55:00
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And now, a list.
//Firewalled against Angel

Seriously, he's spending ALL his time trying to get info out of invisichick. And for some reason, I'm not allowed up there. Seriously, if I had some alone time with that thing, I'd make her spill. Oh, yes. Yes I would.

Since that is, apparently, not happening any time soon...

Top 10 Reasons Why My Vibrator is a Better Boyfriend than My Boyfriend
10) My vibrator does not spend all of its spare time angsting and brooding in a dark room.
9) When its power winds down, all I need to do is change its batteries.
8) My vibrator is selfless. It only gives and gives and gives and never expects anything in return. Which is good because my boyfriend can't actually GET anything in return.
7) No worry about fangs or blood games.
6) My vibrator is always there for me and is never too busy, nor is it too tired. And it certainly never has a headache.
5) No need to worry about the undead syphillis.
4) Three words: Cold. Dead. Seed.
3) No fear of my vibrator going evil.
2) Attachments!
1) It has multiple speeds as opposed to just "quickie".

//end firewall

Wow! Current events are wacky, aren't they? I long for the simpler days... admittedly, in the simpler days, I was alive and often being forced into bearing demonspawn, but hey. Can't have everything.

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 04:43 am UTC (link)
That's just...more than I needed to know about you, or, regarding #4, Angel.

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:48 am UTC (link)
Oh please. Like you didn't already know any of that stuff.

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 04:51 am UTC (link)
...

Not from first-hand experience.

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:55 am UTC (link)
Yeah, um...

You sure about that?

'Cause the news seems to imply...

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 04:57 am UTC (link)
I thought you were an intelligent young woman, Cordelia. Don't tell me you believe the News.

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:59 am UTC (link)
They seem to think highly enough of me....

Hi news! Love ya, sweeties!

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[info]hellmouth_news
2004-11-08 05:06 am UTC (link)
Love you too, hot stuff! Ave Cordelia!

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[info]_champion_
2004-11-08 04:49 am UTC (link)
Never. Tell. Me. Whatever she's discussing, I don't want to know. Think it'd be better that way.

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:52 am UTC (link)
*pat pats*

Awww. Poor Angel.

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[info]_champion_
2004-11-08 05:06 am UTC (link)
If I didn't know better, I'd say that was your sarcastic tone of voice.

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 04:52 am UTC (link)
I really do think it's for the best you don't know.

Women can be very odd creatures.

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:54 am UTC (link)
We're also fickle.

And occasionally VERY FRUSTRATED.

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 04:59 am UTC (link)
There's not much I can do about that. Morrigan would kill us both. I can try to have a talk with Angel, man to man?

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 05:02 am UTC (link)
...

Could you please?

I don't mean to sound needy or anything...

but...

Please??????

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[info]cole_turner
2004-11-08 05:05 am UTC (link)
All right, I'll see what I can do.

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[info]kajivar
2004-11-08 04:44 am UTC (link)
3) No fear of my vibrator going evil.

Unless, you know, Moloch is involved.

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[info]sache
2004-11-08 04:47 am UTC (link)
Gah! Now I need to soak my brain in bleach, thanks.

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[info]stephen_connor
2004-11-08 04:48 am UTC (link)
*runs away gibbering incoherently*

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[info]_queen_c_
2004-11-08 04:55 am UTC (link)
Hmmm... I probably should've firewalled that from you, too, huh?

Sorry!

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[info]dirty_grrl
2004-11-08 02:27 pm UTC (link)
Ya know, I strive to be like you when (and if) I grow up. You're my hero.

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hmmm...
[info]adrian__tepes01
2004-11-09 10:32 pm UTC (link)
4) Three words: Cold. Dead. Seed.

Well at least one question about their relationship has been answered. No need to wrap that sucker I guess.

Although, I guess a baby for the happy couple would be good.

Maybe ask Buffy for her opinion?

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[info]perspective_guy
2004-11-10 07:15 pm UTC (link)
...and OH my God.

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