Cordelia Chase ([info]_queen_c_) wrote,
@ 2004-08-05 23:00:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry
Current mood: nervous

Well, I'll be durned.
Apparently, I have fen. That's kinda neat. I never realized that I had fen. I knew I had cultists.... Hello, fen! If you would like an autographed 8X10, I can arrange it! Really! (Or maybe not. That might get kinda weird. Especially considering that some of these photos are kinda... slutty.)

I guess it's been awhile since I posted here. I *was* planning on making a post a few days ago about a weird dream I had where I was in Baltimore surrounded by a bunch of people dressed as Japanese Schoolgirls and video game characters and Connor was there but he was wearing a dress and had angel wings and a halo and it was all very very weird, but I never ended up getting around to it. And some guy was there that SOUNDED like Angel but he looked nothing like Angel and kept calling himself Squall. Oh well. (I will never eat sushi before bed ever again. Ever.)

As it is, I've been kinda busy. I have my new identity and everything. From now on, I am officially... hear this... Maeve Jameson.

*cringes*

Hello, yes, I am now my coworker's dead sister that isn't actually legally dead. Talk about awkward. I know I asked for this to be speedy, but still. ODD.

But at least it's still an identity. And with an identity... that means I can do some things that I've been meaning to do for a while, now. Or, not actually a while, but for long enough, anyway.

I'm dreading the conversation that I'm going to be having about it all, later....

Ugh.


(Post a new comment)


(Anonymous)
2004-08-05 08:29 pm UTC (link)
I'm dreading the conversation that I'm going to be having about it all, later....

That sounds ominous. Is someone likely to regret...whatever it is?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

(Anonymous)
2004-08-08 10:39 am UTC (link)
I'd surmise that's a "yes".

And not before time someone called shenanigans. Leave it to C to make the tough decisions.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

[info]_champion_
2004-08-05 08:30 pm UTC (link)
Maeve Jameson? Morrigan's sister, right? I remember her telling me something about that. Did Cole get that for you?

(Reply to this) (Thread)

[info]_queen_c_
2004-08-05 08:38 pm UTC (link)
Yeah. He did. And he set up all sorts of other things for me, too. Credit histories, bank accounts, you name it. The money is *technically* set up to come from company funds, since you don't actually give me a salary. I swear I won't abuse it, though. After all, I did most of our accounting back in the day, anyway. However, if you DO want to get me on a salary, for your own piece of mind, of course, then you're more than welcome to do that, too.... The sooner, the better, though...

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_champion_
2004-08-05 08:59 pm UTC (link)
Well, that's good. Good. I guess. I suppose we can set you up on some sort of . . . limited . . . salary. I mean, there's not much money available what with everyone we've got on the payroll. And plus, it's not like you need much money, do you? I mean, you live here, and it's not like you eat -- or do you? I mean, you see what I'm getting at here . . .

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_queen_c_
2004-08-05 09:06 pm UTC (link)
Oh, I eat. And I do occasionally shop.

And I'm moving, Angel. I found an apartment. It's in Santa Monica. Rent's decent. Place isn't half bad, either....

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_champion_
2004-08-05 09:13 pm UTC (link)
You're . . . moving? To Santa Monica? But . . . what's wrong with the hotel? I mean, if this is about the leak in the bathroom I'll call the plumbers tomorrow.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_queen_c_
2004-08-05 09:24 pm UTC (link)
Nothing is wrong with the hotel. And everything is wrong with the hotel.

I'm just sick of this, Angel. I'm sick of the games and the avoidyness... and...

I don't know what I was expecting when I came back, honestly. But I wasn't expecting this. Lorne won't even talk to me and you... you avoid me like the plague and the only ones that DO associate with me are Cole and Morri and Illyria who seems to be convinced that I will get her a new pet or die trying. And if I have to put up with it during the day, then that's fine. I love AI with all that I have in me, and I'll keep doing my job here...

... but I'm not going to be putting up with this bullshit all day if I don't have to. I'm tired of it, honestly, and a break from it would be nice, and if I have to move out just so that I can get a couple of hours where I'm not being treated like the plague, then so be it.

Since the whole lot of you can't seem to get your asses in gear, I might as well just remove myself from the situation as best as I can. It's not a perfect solution, but it's something.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_champion_
2004-08-05 09:48 pm UTC (link)
I . . .

Games? Games? I haven't been playing games for your benefit, Cordelia. If this is about Nina -- or Morrigan --

Those weren't -- Nina . . . we've had this conversation. And Morrigan -- I never meant for anything to happen there and that isn't a conversation I want to have right now.

And I haven't been avoiding you. I just . . . haven't seen you much lately. You're dead, Cordelia, and now everything's so strange. I don't know how long you're here for, or when you go back, and I'm terrified of being the reason you go back. And I've got people telling me that I'm letting the best thing that will ever happen to me pass me by, and people saying I should just let you go because dammit, you're dead, and I don't know what to think. It's just been easier not to deal until now, but you seem to be forcing the issue now. Typical.

If you feel you have to move out to deal with this, then fine. Get out. I just . . . I don't know how to deal with you being here, and I don't know how to deal with you not being here.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_queen_c_
2004-08-05 10:06 pm UTC (link)
I figured as much. Which is why I'm taking the decision out of your hands as of now. You want me here. You don't want me here. You can't make up your mind, so fine, I'm making it for you.

You know what? Yes, I am dead. But so are you.

And yes I CAN be sent back at any time, but then again, one unlucky step and you could find yourself a giant pile of dust.

But I'm here right now, dammit. And there's nothing that either of us can willingly do to change that.

But okay, yeah, sure, I died. And you mourned and you moved on but then I came back and you had to adapt some more. But you're too damn afraid to have to say goodbye to me again. So you don't deal. And if you refuse to deal with it, well, I'll just let you be so that you don't have to worry about dealing with it 24/7. After all, if you don't get close, there's less heartache later, right?

I don't want to go. I love The Hyperion. I love AI. I love working for you, and goddamn it, I love you, too. But I can't continue to be the elephant in the room that everyone refuses to acknowledge.

I'm moving out on the 22nd. If YOU decide you want me here and I believe you mean it, I won't go. But otherwise... I have arrangements that I need to make so that I can stay out of your hair.

(Reply to this) (Parent)(Thread)

[info]_champion_
2004-08-05 10:14 pm UTC (link)
...

Dammit, Cordelia, when did you get to know me so well? I know, I know when.

I . . . look, I can't make a decision now, not after the head shrink you just gave me. But before the twenty-second. I'll make a decision.

I just hope it's one I can live with.

(Reply to this) (Parent)

Create an Account
Forgot your login or password?
Login w/ OpenID
English • Español • Deutsch • Русский…