Today was really rather boring. I am SO glad I'm going to move in soon otherwise I am going to drive myself crazy. I need something to do with myself so I don't think about other things.

I woke up at like 11 and did some laundry. I really own wayyy too many clothes, and the sad part is I actually wear them and I keep buying more. I put in a MASSIVE load and then got online and read about the people down in New Orleans and Mississippi and felt so incredibly guilty for having so much. I don't generally take a whole lot for granted, I appreciate all that I have, but some things are so basic in m life that I forget sometimes that its a blessing.

Anyways. Then I went into Gtown and bought a pair of shoes and a messenger bag for school. I LOVE the bag. It totally made my day, in kinda a weird way. Little things make me happy. Then I picked up the boys from school and came back home, at which time Mom informed me that the family was going out to eat tonight because it was kinda my last night at home (I'm working tomorrow night). I think Mom is gonna have a really hard time. I am too. This is completely different...I guess I am starting to get nervous. But not about college, or my specific experience at Transy, but more about how I'm actually an adult now- I'm so completely close with my parents and I don't wanna leave :( I love them and I'm gonna miss them. I don't want our relationship to change from now on. I hope it stays the same, or as close as possible.

Anyways, then we went to WALMART. Like everyone else in the world, apparently. And we bought a printer for me and I bought both or Brand New's CDs cause I lost one and I wanted the other one. I CAN'T BELIEVE I LOST ALL MY CDS. Makes me angry.

Anyways thats all. I need to get to school so I don't worry myself to death before going to bed every night. Its killing me.

This might not make any sense but I need to get it out.
( my thoughts at 2 am )

Ok. Now that I am about to move in and start school I vow to update regularly. I promise. Laura, I just added you as a friend because its the first time I've been on here in a while, and I am flattered that you think I'm fun :) Crazy is probably the word you're looking for, but hey. Whatever works.

Today was quite possibly the laziest day in my short existence. I woke up at 10:30, called my roommate and told her that I would be unable to meet her in Hamburg cause that sneaky bitch KATRINA decided she needed to f up everyone's lives from here to the gulf. Mom didn't want me driving in a torrential downpour, reasonably, so we're meeting in LexVegas tomorrow to shop at Target and such. Fun times.

After calling her I went and sat down on the couch, turned on the Weather Channel, and fell asleep. Actually first I had a waffle. An EGGO waffle if you wanna be specific about it, and then I fell asleep. I woke up probably 3 or 4 times to answer the phone, and drink something, but I didn't rise off of the couch until 3:30. And its not like I laid there and watched TV some. No. I really just slept. How lazy.

After I decided to get my ass up for the day, I checked my e-mail and had one from...duh duh DUH (that was a dramatic noise if you couldn't tell)...the Chemistry teacher. It had the syllabus and safety instructions for the labs, and he informed us that we would, indeed, be having our 8 am lab the first day of classes. Joy. But whatever, after reading over everything I'm a little less nervous about flunking out of that class. Just hope he's a better teacher than one I had last year. And I'm NOT referring to Feeback.

So yea. I'm so so so so glad that I am moving in Friday, it means only a few more days along by myself. Not only has EVERYONE my age or older left gtown, but my family deserts me daily to go to work and school. Like thats important. lol. I was talking to a friend from GSP last night thats going to Transy and I'll be glad to see him and the other people I know, plus meet some new ones. Although if this kid keeps hitting on me in the not-so-stealthy way that he's doing, I may have to punch him somewhere painful. Love him, but man. Why can't boys just...keep it to themselves once in a while. They push and push and once they get let down easily, they quit talking completely. Grow up. bleh. But yea- I'm still super super excited.

Alright that should cover it for now. Adios

So I'm officially sitting in front of my new laptop.

Happy Dance. Everyone. All over the world.

So my parents freakin rock. I go out of town for the weekend, and call them on Saturday night and Mom's all, So we bought you a laptop today. Of course I knew I was getting one. But still. It was exciting to finally get one, and I must say that they did a fine job of picking it out.

I just got back from Atlanta a few minutes ago. That's where they took us for our surprise senior trip...I had a great time. It was extremely low key- all we pretty much did was hang out and shop and tour CNN and Turner Field. (Speaking of Turner Field, I heart baseball. And speaking of sports, football season is JUST around the corner. I'm thinking of joining a fantasy football league because I love the sport so FREAKING MUCH. Ok that's all.)

Chase and I got along pretty...typically. He was an asshole. I did my best to ignore him. Then he'd have his hands all over me. I didn't quite appreciate that...but its not like thats new. He leaves for X in 11 days. When he said that I about cried- not because I'm gonna miss him ALL that much, but because its still a little weird to me that I have less than a month before I move into school. I don't think I'm ready. I don't think I want to go to college. I think I'd rather just stay at home with my mommy for the rest of my life. Til i get married. I can marry rich. I'm smart enough as it is. Good plan, right? Right. Or not.

SO I found out today that Brad still...likes me or...something. Loves me? Cares about me? I'm not sure. It blows my mind- well, first of all, because we've not dated for almost a year and he (recently, I suppose) found out that I'm dating someone else. He's hurt, or upset, or not happy, or something...which doesn't make any sense because we haven't dated in a year, I haven't seen him since January when I ran into him at Johnny Carino's, and I haven't spoken to him in at least 2-3 months. I've given him every reason to move on. In some ways, I've given him every reason to hate me. Or at least dislike me a little. But...apparently not. And it sucks because I want nothing more than for him to move on like I have.

Ah. I'm tired. I am sure I have more to say but I don't really feel like thinking any more. Adios.

Just got home from Emily's birthday thingie. Fun times. Only a few lucky people ever get to see how retarded I actually am, and last night those people were Emily, Krista and Cat. Those lucky girls.

Hey Emily- are those Pringles real?

Anways. Other than the party, yesterday was rather boring. Back to the same old shit that I did before my cruise- nothing all day long and then work at night. When I got into work there were seriously like 38759823 techs working. I HATE that cause then I get irritable cause there's enough work for maybe 2 people to do and so its boring, crowded, and I can't help but thinking I should probably just go home and make a better use of my time than stand around in a lab coat. At one point in the night, an unnamed person actually said, "Since we have four people here tonight until 9, that means we get to pick the stickers off the mats." You've got to be kidding me. Some people really don't have anything to worry about except for dumb trivial BULLSHIT. But yea. Whatever. I got to work with Trevor and he's fun so it was all good.

Chase and I are on speaking terms again. Interestingly enough. He called on Monday night for some completely retarded reason, pretty much just so he could talk to me. I wouldn't be so cocky as to assume such a thing- he told me that he called just to talk to me.
AGH.
But yea. At first he acted like he had just kept me on the phone for like an hour without being friends again, like he was just using me when he needed me and then back to being an asshole. SO I bitched him out royally. It felt good. Then he called back and basically said he was full of shit...and that he wanted to be my friend again. Under the condition that I would treat him like normal regardless of whether or not I was dating anybody else. Boys are stupid.

All of them. Every last one.

That's enough for now. Must clean my room.

So much to type- so little energy and motivation to do it with. Better do it quick before my resolution dissolves or my ADD kicks in and I see something more interesting on the television.

Its been embarrasingly long since I updated. I had no problem doing it while I was in school. I guess cause I was kinda in a routine, and I made lj-ing part of that routine. Summer, however, does not permit routines and my updating has thus suffered. Kinda sucks cause I find it therapeutic.

ANYWAYS. Exciting day. I bought stuff for college today. Boring stuff though- pillows and mattress pads, eggcrate, shower caddy thing, lighted mirror, more pillows, and a candy bar. Mwa ha ha. Not taking the candy bar to college though. I ate that. I needed the chocolate after all that shopping though; for some reason all the decisions gave me a headache and started to stress me out. It could be because I was spending obscene amounts of my own money on less-than-exciting stuff. Or-and this is more likely- it could be because I was suddenly required to make about 259849852 decisions when, or a normal day, I limit my decision-making to which clothes I should wear and whether I will wear my hair curly or straight. Either way, I didn't entirely enjoy shopping today, which is kind of a new sensation.

We got back from the cruise on Saturday night. That was fun. Not particularly interesting, although I did get black-market hair braids and this drunk guy asked my brother if he could make out with me. Ew. It was very relaxing though- I got to spend time with my family and thats always nice. I'm gonna miss them.

And before that was Warped Tour. Tons of fun as usual. Not as good music wise as last year, although the company was considerably improved, being that Brad wasn't with us. Hah. Regarding Brad, most people think I'm insensitive. They're probably right. But I think he screwed me up and I could care less if I'm sensitive or not. However, THAT is a story for another day.

And now, the list of things I've learned in the past few weeks:
1. Chase is stupid.
2. But I miss him.
3. I have self esteem issues that are too deep for me to fix.
4. I have a hard time being a super supportive friend.
5. Sun + no sunscreen + all day outside = one hell of a peeling sunburn

I'm sure there's more but they can't have been that important, I've forgotten them.

Adios.

So. I've discovered another personality flaw that I have.

I have a tendency to just let things rest as they are and hope for the best. I very rarely do ANYTHING in favor of just sitting back and letting things fall as they may, good or bad. And then I deal internally with those consequences. It's just so much easier for me to not act and then deal with whatever subsequent pain.

Chase has nailed this before. Being such a pro-active person, always seeking and doing things that hopefully get him one step closer to being happier or more fulfilled, it drives him crazy to deal with someone who would rather just sit back and wait.

So thing #45951 that I must do to make myself into a complete, mature, responsible adult: Suck it up. Do what you don't feel like doing. And get over it.

Oh my gosh. I get on here and Emily has beautified my layout. I love it dearly. Esp the pictures of me dancing while were in the car...were we at the drive thru of taco bell? I think we were. Fun times.

Emily we need to decide when we wanna go to a random city.

Anyways so I decided today I may possibly hate my job. There's so so so many things wrong with it.
1. The pharmacists. All of them, at one time or another, are bitchy and stressed and IRRITATING and critical. Some of them more so than the others.

2. The public. Some people are just plain stupid. I won't go into it. And then some people are just plain MEAN. And impatient. And I don't like them. Blech.

3. The people I work with. When I think about this it makes me want to scream. There's a hierarchy to this pharmacy that depends on who has been there then longest and shit like that- and if on a given day I am the rookie- gosh it pisses me off. Its enough to make me want to quit b/c the place is just bullshit and never become a pharmacist. This is for you, T, and D, and K and J and JL and...that may be all. AUGH.

Anyways I feel a little bit better. A little.

I saw Batman Begins last night. Good movie. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. And after an incident regarding my curfew, I somehow, by the grace of God, got my parents to...abolish...the curfew. Amazing. Within reason of course- but still. They say they're preparing both themselves and me for next year when no one will tell me when to be home. So I'm excited.

Pretty sure, even when I manage not to talk to certain people from last year that caused way too much drama in my life, they still find a way to start rumors. Or misinterpret facts. What posseses someone to cause drama? Why would you do such a thing? Doesn't it give you a headache? Don't you get tired of constantly getting into other people's business? Or maybe you're just bored with your own life. I don't know. Maybe you're evil. I DON'T KNOW. But I am hoping and praying that this will stop when I get out of Scott County. Its not as bad as it once was. But still.

Blue Collar Comedy Tour rocks my world.

Alright I am tired. Night.

this is emily (elasticknights) DON'T FREAK OUT SAMANTHA. NO ONE HACKED YOUR ACCOUNT. it was me. well i mean i kind of hacked it except not really since im actually the one who made the password.

yeah ANYWAY i made a layout for samantha's journal. click me. who's up for some freak nasty? hollar atcha boi!

La de da de da de da. Here's more Mexico stuff.

( more pics )

Anyways... Mexico was an extremely interesting experience. There were just so many things that you had to do without that took a lot of adjusting to get used to. Didn't really have a hot shower, couldn't flush the toilet paper down the toilet, you had to throw it away in the trash can. Couldn't blow dry your hair, couldn't drink the water, couldn't wash your hands without having to use antibacterial hand sanitizer afterwards. It was just so different.

I worked in an orphanage that had about 40 boys living in it. They were never there the whole time, because some of the boys went to school in the morning and some attended in the afternoon. They were all so, so sweet and cute and loving, well behaved (for the most part) and they tried to speak in Spanish to me. It was so frustrating, after telling them "no habla espanol" to hear them reel off another lengthy sentence at me in Spanish. So I just smiled. lol

( the chase story of the week )

Well ok. Thats enough for now. Later.

Oh its been forever. It really has. Because I've been in Mexico!! So ok.

( here's some pics )

I have more. they're coming later.

Its been a while! I need to start getting back in the habit of updating. Its hard though because I feel like my days are all kinda the same, with little variation and very often no interesting points. But thats ok. I WILL UPDATE ANYWAY.

Right now I'm watching the NBA finals. I love sports. Professional basketball kinda sucks to watch, and I avoid it if there's another sport on...mais its the finals. I have to watch. And the Pistons are getting stomped.

Anyways. My time since school has been out has been spent mainly working and hanging out. Kinda boring, but somehow I'm extremely happy with the summer break so far. Very fun and laid back.

I leave for Mexico at 5 am Saturday morning. ew. Too early. But that trip should be...interesting to say the least. Its with church. I'm going with my mom...love her heart, I'm glad she's going....my brother will be there, and his weird friend with the long hair. And Chase and Patrick. 2 giggly, annoying freshmen girls. James and Kyle, who are generally quiet. And thats all. Church trips are always interesting. Chase and I either hang out all week or fight all week. OR alternate between the two extremes, which is probably a more accurate prediction of this trip. I'm gonna see if Patrick will sit next to me on the plane. Chase will just love that. haha. I'm so mean.

To be honest, I am not really looking forward to the trip at all. But maybe it will turn out to be fun. Last MissionFuge trip I had a blast and met a guy. But that was in Philly, and I'm not interested in meeting a Mexican boy. lol.

I watched a marathon of America's Next Top Model today on vh1 today. (It was not a productive day, to say the least) They're all so pretty. It makes me sick. My self esteem is left extremely diminished after watching that. Or the vh1 show about Maxim's Hot 100. Blech.

Maybe I should lay off the vh1.

Okay. Thats all for now. :)

Hola. Bonjour. Hello. Aloha.

Crap. Thats all I can think of.

Anyways, I am no longer a high school student. I could burst with happiness because of that. Graduation was lovely. Got lots of money. Which is good cause I have a lot of things I need to buy before the fall. Project Grad revealed to me that I am NOT a person that can function without a night of sleep. I get somewhat bitchy.

( beautiful pics )

I went shopping today for college stuff and didn't buy ANYTHING. I have all this graduation money and I think I'm overwhelmed with all that I have to buy. But I am tres, tres excited about college.

( blech. brad stuff )

hehe. D asked me out on a date tonight at work. But I couldn't tell whether or not he was serious; we're always so mean to each other. But he's leaving Friday for 2 weeks anyways, and I'm busy til then...so it was a no. What do I tell someone who asks me out? I don't know how to answer that. Ah. No one's asked me out in so long. lol.

Alright kids. Thats all for now.

Man. My parents should have named me Grace. I believe I just tripped over NOTHING AT ALL in my quest to get a blanket from my bedroom. If anyone were to follow me around with a video camera nonstop they'd be laughing at a lot of things that, thankfully, no one else is around to see. Like the sight of me collapsing on my bed because I don't know how to control my own feet.

Anyways. Today was the first official day out of school for everyone...happy dance. I am so so happy that I don't have to go back to school there ever again. Words cannot describe it. I'm just SO FREAKIN HAPPY. I get the distinct feeling that this summer will be a lot of fun and that while college is something exciting to look forward to, I'll definitely enjoy my last couple months in SC.

( ANOTHER rant about Brad )

Baccalaureate was tonight. Mr. Travis spoke and he was really, really good. My ADD kept kicking in though. At one point we had a chain of graduates connected by our 3.5 GPA ropes. Bravo, Amy, Durr, me, Calah, Lindsey. Then I felt bad for not paying attention. But not really. It was highly amusing.

The phone bill came the other day and I thought my parents might actually kill me. As a family we went over on daytime minutes and I, of course, overused texts. I'm gonna quit that. *crosses heart* Otherwise I may not live to see college.

( Random stuff. Trust me, its irrelevant. Don't read it )

Graduation day after tomorrow. WOO HOO. Night.

Ah. I've been slacking off terribly with this whole regular updating thing. I vow to do better now that school's out.

I just got home from Lex where I bought a gorgeous and painfully expensive graduation dress. But I LOVE IT. Very much. It makes me happy. You know what else made me happy tonight? Maybe I'm a shallow person for allowing something like this to please me, but the hot guy in WalMart kept staring and smiling every time I looked his way. Which wasn't often cause it makes me nervous to know people are looking at me. But he was definitely hot and definitely checking me out. Yes. Score one for Samantha. Maybe I am a little shallow...but it flatters me. I'm human.

School, for me, is officially over. Forever. I'm so happy that I never have to go to class there again, or see some of these stupid stupid people that I hate so much (except those certain ones that decide to come to the same small college as me...rrr). I'll miss my teachers that I had this year, but overall I feel like I've been ready to move on for a long long time and I'm glad its done.

Okay. I still haven't updated about chicago...but thats cause Im too lazy to put the pictures on the computer. When school gets out...then I'll do that. But for now, I feel the need to post something I was thinking about last night...

Before I went to bed, I put in my beloved Brand New CD. I'm laying on top of the bed, quite content to stare at the ceiling and listen to the words, when numero 8 comes on (Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis). These are the words to the chorus:

I will lie awake
Lie for fun and fake the way I hold you
Let you fall for every empty word I say

The rest of the song, on the surface level, is about a guy taking advantage of a girl and letting her think his intentions are pure and not just sexual. And my question is...are all guys like that? I mean really. Girls always get so emotionally attached to everything and guys seek out sex like its a game, and they get 10 points if they score for the night. Now I don't think these lyrics were intended to be taken at 100% face value... but it really made me think about that in general. There's times I'm inclined to think that every guy is actually thinking those lyrics up there as he kisses someone or lets some girl think she actually means something.

I sound bitter. I'm not. Just thinking.

So I'm updating at school. I signed out to get Taco Bell and Ms. Summers isn't aware that I'm back. Not like we really do anything in that class now anyways.

This weekend/ beginning of week has been craziness!! First prom was Friday night, then post-prom festivities til late Friday night, then flight to Chicago Saturday and 3 days of craziness and 3 nights of minimal sleep. I think I may pass out onto the keyboard as I type this. So tired. 0o0o0o0okay. Lets start from the beginning: prom.

Ok, ok, ok. So prom definitely was not as bad as I was anticipating. In fact, I enjoyed myself A LOT. I forgot, in my dread, how much I love to dance. The beauty of my date situation was that I ALWAYS had someone to dance with...but I could dance with someone else too. Its like he was there for me, anytime I needed him. lol. My favorite was dancing with Jacob. Marijuana must hinder your dancing ability quite a bit...or maybe he just can't keep a rhythm anyway. Either way, I laughed a lot.

( Every good night has a downside... )

But overall, for more reasons than one, my senior prom turned out to be freakin great. Hindsight is apparently 20/20, and looking back I am very very pleased with the night.

Hmm. I have a lot to say about Chicago, but I think I'll dedicate an entire post to it later. When I get pictures back. :) Adios.

HIIII there. Its been a while since I had a good update. Here goes.

Prom is TOMORROW! pulls out hair. bangs head against computer desk. hides in a hole til 12 a.m. Saturday morning. I am SO not ready to go tomorrow night...I feel as though this has crept up on me...and I do not want to go. We were talking about it today at lunch...whats the bullshit about woo hoo senior prom?! I mean really. A good percentage of us either don't want to go or, at the very least, aren't excited at all about it. Except, of course, those of us who are going with a boyfriend whom they love very much. bleh. Whoever told me that going with a friend would be more fun...I'm coming after you if this night turns out to be as not-fun as I feel like it will be. Watch out.

I was joking with D at work the other day about prom, and said something referring to my plans to "get laid" on prom night. KIDDING COMPLETELY of course, because whether they actually are my plans or not, I wouldn't share that with him seriously. But now he teases me about it and also jokes about me taking him to prom. The reason being, of course, so HE could in turn get laid. Do you want to get in my pants, D? I think you do.

So on Saturday I leave for Chicago...I'm SOOO EXCITED. so. excited. I'm excited...can you tell? I am kinda stressing about getting everything packed in between going to prom and stuff...I have tons of laundry to do and I guess I'll just have to pack on Saturday morning post-prom. That should be tons of fun.

( Rant about Brad )

AHHH. Wow. I am overhearing way, way too much about my little brother's friends and their sexual activities. He needs to take his cell phone and his heart-to-hearts in another room. My ears are too pure for this. No, wait...my brother is too pure for this. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

OH! OH! I got a distinguished on my writing portfolio! Kickass. I feel like my work actually paid off for once.

( Funny Pic Emily took )


Thats all for tonight. Adios.

Okay. Sitting in the computer lab at the middle school waiting for my little brother to finish whatever extracurricular activities he is currently involved in. I finally get a few minutes to breathe and update my journal before heading home and then to church. so yay.

let's start from the beginning. The last time I updated was Friday afternoon...the Ice Cream concert on Friday night went really, really well. When we were singing the final number I was watching Mrs. Williams and I felt my smile starting to fade and my lip start to quiver a little bit...it was so sad. It is one of the only things that I will miss about high school.

After that, Britt B and I decided we'd make an appearance at a party cause the entire school was supposed to show up...we get there and there's NO ONE of any significance there...so we left and went to Waffle House. ALWAYS a good ending to a night.

Saturday...worked during the day, went out that night. Not incredibly eventful. Went to the tanning bed and got a tiny bit red. Tiny bit. But I have to prepare myself for prom. lol.

Sunday...church. Worked. Boring.

Monday I skipped school. :) I slept in, went to get a pedicure and a fill-in so my nails are ready for prom...it was so relaxing. I got to sit in a massage chair talking on the phone while some Asian lady painted my toenails. It was amusing.

On a less amusing note, my toenails are chipped already. Irritating.

Okay so those of you that know me know that I am obsessed with finding my GSP pictures after losing them for forever. SO in honor of that...and in honor of Emily teaching me how to do cuts...I am posting some pics!! woo hoo. get excited. If you don't want to look...then don't. But here they are, for anyone's viewing pleasure.

( My Beloved Pictures )

Anyways. This week is incredibly busy and crazy and I haven't updated and I really need to...but I'm tired. So it will have to wait. The pictures are enough for now. Adios.