Story of my life

Mon, 27 Jun 2005 23:42:55 GMT

I slam a vampire against the wall, felt him wince in pain and heard his groaning. I hated this place, the Fish Tank had to the one of the most disgusting places in this city, where the low lifes hung out at. With Cristoff missing, I knew it had to be one of the places that could point me to where he was at. "Okay, let me ask you again. A man is missing, is named Cristoff. Dark hair with a slight beard, has an accent, known to have helped in the apocalypse. Sound familiar?"

The vampire growls and tells me that he doesn't know anything again. He also throws in that he's not afraid of some short blonde kid and wouldn't say anything even if he did know. I growl, I hate when they get all smart ass like this. I whirl the vampire around and make sure my eyes are red when I make him look at me. "Believe me vampire, I am not a kid and you should fear me."

At this moment, my cell phone rings with some perky annoying tune that India thought it would be amusing to set it too.

"Hold on a moment" I thrown down the vamp and answer the phone. Its Izzy, she tells me that they found Cristoff. He's insane, and been shot, but he's alive. Shot...which meant it wasn't a demon that took him and the vamp wasn't lying. She then proceeds to tell me to meet them at the hospital right away. I tell her I'll be there as soon as I can, and I'll be there. With that, I click off the cell phone and look down at the vamp apoligetically. "Well okay, so maybe you weren't lying, the guy has been found. Sorry about that misunderstanding, hopefully you can forgive it."

But vamps are not the most forgiving of creatures. He growls and lunges to attack me, which I simply react by flipping him, pulling out a stake, and shoving it into his heart. He explodes into dust, which I have to brush off of me. If i wasn't in a hurry, I would be disappointed how easy a fight that was for how much he boasted about not being afraid. Oh well, maybe another day with another vampire.

I teleport over to an alley by the hospital, and walk into it. I find that Izzy and Eva haven't arrived yet. Yuffie is sitting in a waiting chair and looks at me, but doesn't say anything. Which I couldn't be more content with if he kept his mouth shut the entire night. I ask where Cristoff is, and he gestures towards the examining room. Which means there's nothign I can do but sit down. Dammit, I just did this the other week, why we here again? And for a gun wound? What happened to demon attacks?

I wait until Izzy and Eva come in. Eva goes to see Cristoff, Izzy comes over and sits by me. She tries to say something to Yuffie about something I don't understand, but he brushes her off and then excuses himself out. Weird, I wonder what is going on there. According to Izzy, Cristoff was talking to someone that wasn't there. That does sound insane, even crazier than Eva. We don't go in to see him, at least I don't, I wouldn't even know what to say. I've never been good with seeing people in the hospital. Izzy goes in to check on Cristoff and Eva once the doctor tells us he's out of surgery, then askes if she can leave once it seems like she can't take anymore. We repeat this the next morning, go into the hospital to check on him then leave once again.

If only there was something i could do. I hate hospitals, I always feel so helpless in them. Like I can't do a single thing.

Fri, 17 Jun 2005 20:31:33 GMT

This stuff isn't suppose to happen. Eric is not suppose to get shot, he's suppose to be safe at Ralph's. Isabella is suppose to be okay too, at the very least there. In that bar where its always been safe. Yet, we got to hear from Evan who heard from Ev that her, Bella and Eric all got shot in some gunfight. A fucking gunfight. Not a demon attack, not a spell, not even a vampire. A goddamn gunfight, which from my memory? Means a bunch of fucking morons having a pissing contest.

That shit is not suppose to happen in Sunnydale. That shouldn't be a reason why we are in a hospital waiting for Bella and Eric.

Evan didn't know the details, only what Ev told him. I haven't seen Yuffie or Ev yet, but when I do I'm going to be pissed. Those two should know better than this. They say that Bella had her reasons to be there, but what about Eric? Why the hell didn't Yuff get Eric out of there, the dumbass can teleport! When I see them? They better have the best damn reasons that have ever been created.

Izzy was freaked out so much by the news when Evan called. And so were her siblings when we told them before we left for the hospital. All of them looked shattered by the news, I could barely stand to look at them. The fact that I had promise to keep them safe, and one of them got shot just makes me sick. Eric's going to be okay, I stood outside the door while Izzy visited with him. But I still can't believe they allowed this to happen. Col and Evan looked just as pissed off as I did, just as freaked out. I even felt sympathy for Col, because if it was my Isabella instead of his, I would be devastated.

Evan says that if there were any survivors of the gun battle that harmed those three, he will make sure they will be dead before dawn. And believe me, I am more than willing to help him out with his vow.

Sat, 04 Jun 2005 18:37:20 GMT

Eva and Cristoff had their wedding this week in a place called Venice. Its a place where the streets are waterways that you use small boats to get around. Its quite fascinating to see everyone get around. Though once again they gave us a hotel room that is bigger than any of our apartments. I'm not quite sure I understand why they keep giving us this much room.

The wedding itself was great, I have never seen Eva look so beauitful before, or Cristoff look so happy before. In fact everyone seemed happy, yet so many of them were crying. I guess its just a human thing I would never understand, how you shed tears when you are happy. I don't get how you can be so happy, you are sad and cry.

There were also customs in the ceremony that I did not understand, nothing like any of the weddings back home. But I don't think I needed to understand them, or the exact details, they had the same meanings as the important ones back home. Two people devoting one another for eternity, promising to be loyal to each other and not to curse or harm each other. Except, there was talk of them devoting themselves out of love, not for political reasons. No word about how this will strenghthn the family, or it will bring peace. It was only talk of love, which is rarely mentioned back home. They promised each other that they would love one another in harmony, no matter what happened, which I don't remember hearing in the weddings back home.

I think its a nice change.

The reception was a bit weird, India kept joking about how it was like a twins convention. Though I didn't really find the humor and pointed out that Yuffie was not my twin and I would either kill him or myself if it turned out like it did for all the Covaults. Which of course Yuffie magically heard about this and would not leave me alone about it, which I was not in the mood for. Though other than that, it was pretty enjoyable.

Everyone has mentioned that I seem quieter than usual. And I know I have been. Izzy is the only one who hasn't asked why because she knows the reasons, and she's simply waiting for me to think everything through. Personally I wish I could just shrug off seeing Kaley again. I never loved her, and I still don't. Seeing her after all these years doesn't spark any emotions like that. I love Izzy, I'm well aware that i do and thats not going to change just because of Kaley. But hearing her tell me what happened to her after she left, how I messed up her life, that isn't so easy to let go of. And for all I know, she is lying and just made that up so I would feel bad. But I know that something happened, because that was not the same Kaley I left. She looked so much older and sadder, nothing like the young, spoiled, carefree girl that I remembered.

And even if I don't love her, even if I would prefer to go the rest of my life without seeing her, I wish I could make it better for her. I wish I could find a way to the last four years go away for her, because she didn't deserve it. I mean, thats what I do in my life right? Make things better for people, slay the demons that are preying on people, help stop the bad guys, try to improve the world. Even my job with Izzy, I help locate things that people have lost. Yet, the one time I don't know anything that i can do to make it better, is the one time where I'm the one to blame. Ironic how it works that way.

Sun, 10 Apr 2005 21:44:27 GMT

Izzy for some reason seems to have a double in this dimenson. She was brought here because she is married to Ev's brother, who we are calling Col. And the reason he is here is because their father is evil and might try to harm him, along with all his other siblings. Who happen to be Eva, Evan, and another Evalon. Who due to the fact of their father hopping dimensons, they are all doubles and siblings at the same time.

Am I the only one who thinks that this does not make any coherent sense?

I'm not sure I understand exactly what is going on, it makes very little sense. And seeing Izzy's double without any warning at all didn't help much. Izzy was pretty freaked out by the double too, though she went to talk to her the other day and she seemed better after that. At least Isabella seems sane, so that probably helps.

As for work, it seems that Travis managed to track down the jade pieces. Which means no more research which I couldn't be happier for. I wasn't as vocal as India about the frustration of the researching, but it was trying at best. Also another weird thing, apparently Nick had demonic toads show up in his bathroom. Which sounds quite weird, espcially that they manage to burn a hole through the floor. Though I have to admit that I found it quite amusing after I heard about it from India and what her and Yuffie got interuppted from. A bit immature sure, then again so was making me meet my girlfriend's double without any warning. And apparently Ingrid is keeping a few of the toads as pets and in her office, which everyone seems to think its weird. I don't understand, how come its weird to have toads as pets but not those odd dog animals? Whats the difference?

Sun, 27 Feb 2005 00:34:10 GMT

The nightmares are back, they've been happening over and over again nonstop for about a week now. I don't really get why they are back, last time I've had a nightmare was during the apocalypse. But now every night I find myself waking up in cold sweat or one time even falling off the bed from freaking out in my dream. And I'm wondering if Izzy has been having the same trouble, because she seems to be trying to avoid sleep all the time. To the point that I'm starting to get worried about her.

Also last weekend it turned out that the reason Eva, Cristoff, Yuffie and Benny weren't at the memorial service at Ralph's was because Eva's father gave her over to the mafia. They were busy rescuing her from them before they killed her. Everyone has been saying that she's in bad shape, though I have yet to see her. I don't understand why her father would give her over like that. I mean I have heard of people doing that before back home, but never here. And why Eva? I mean I know she's crazy, but she's not someone you should just give away to die like that. Its sick.

At least we have a new client and case to work on to keep my mind off things. Some one wanting some jade pieces from a place called China that was stolen from her. Apparently they are priceless. Which if they have no price, why are you paying so much to get them back? Whatever, I guess I'm not going to question her logic if she is paying us. But if the artifacts were stolen, do we have to talk and pay the thief into giving them back, or do we just steal them back? I mean it seems silly to pay the thief for stealing the items, though maybe they were stealing them because they needed it. Then again, why would you need some jade pieces that you can't put a price on? Also, Irene is coming to work with us as our accountant, which is apparently someone who keeps track of all the money. Which kind of confuses me, I didn't think India or I lost any of the money. Any of the money we were given we kept and didn't lose unless we spent it. And wouldn't that be a boring job? To sit around and watch money all day?

I'm walking down Charleston Street on my way home from patrolling when I hear a scream from the house that is still on sale. I quickly run to it, and kick open the door. Running, I go through a narrow hallway, searching for the person who screamed. I suddenly run through a pair of thick red curtains and come into a large room full of people who are all dressed up nicely. They turn to look at me and I gulp as I realize at least hundred pairs of eyes are staring right at me and I am on a stage.They suddenly start applauding. What the hell? Why are they are all looking at me? I look down to see that my clothes have change to be a hell of a lot brighter and flashier. Almost like something i saw on that weird Romeo and Juliet movie Mikka made me watch. What the hell? Were were my jeans and shirt that made me not stand out?!

And then a woman comes out from behind the curtain, dressed in the same way except in a dress. They applaude her too and she bows. And then, I hear a voice from overhead. Annoucing that the great vocal talent of Penn Sunflower will now perform a duet with the lovely whatever her unprouncable name is.

WHAT?! ME? SING? HERE?! I look around absoutly horrified as a band starts to play some music. Then, the woman starts singing some song I have never heard before in my life. I start to feel faint, I think I'm going to faint. And then, the woman stops singing and looks at me. Like she's expecting me to sing now. But I don't know the words! Hell, I don't even know what she was singing about because she sung in some other language I had never heard before! She even nudges me and mutters that its my turn. Everyone is looking at me to sing.

I sing a very weak first note before all my courage leaves me and I run for it. I even knock over a person in my way just to get the hell out of the room.

When I enter the next room I find myself in a run down ruin of a room. Like a room I would sleep in for shelter only a few years ago. I breath a sigh of relief to see that there is no crowd in here, and my clothes are no longer bright. Instead, they are like the clothes i wore when I lived back home. I frown in confusion. Why am I here? I hear my stomach growl and I realize that I can barely remember when the last time I ate, but it was a long time ago. I am starving. Then I remembered that I had food for once, it was in a bag behind some rubble. I go over and pull out the bag, only to find that the contents of it had been taken out and eaten. I look around freaked out, who ate it?! I pull out my knife prepared for any thiefs when suddenly I hear a small skittering animal sound. I stop dead and watch as a fairly big animal with a black and white ring tail and a devious little mask over its eyes comes out of hiding and looks at me, followed by several more coming out of different hiding spaces.

Oh god.

I find myself surrounded by these horrible vile creatures. They were the ones to steal all my food, and not only that, they are still hungry. They start making a weird noise and start to go closer to me,m their little claws on their paws glinting in the moonlight steeping into the room. I fall back, there are way too many of these vermin, and more keep coming. How the hell did I fall into a raccoon nest this large? Not again, last time this happened was when i was seventeen. This is so why people should never import animals from other dimensons.

Before they can claw me alive, I get up and run for it once more. I can hear their little claws tapping as they follow behind me. I look behind me to see a whole flock of them. They know that they outnumber me and they know that I'm just one pixie that they can kill and eat. Not if I keep running fast enough. I sprint so fast until I see a door, which I charge out of at full speed to escape the horrible creatures.

Um okay, wow, why am I standing here for so long? And I'm out of breath already. I haven't even gone on patrol yet! I probably need to get more sleep, find a way to get some rest nightmares or no nightmares, because if I'm getting this exhausted already this is ridiculous.

Mon, 21 Feb 2005 05:03:25 GMT

I got my soul back. it just came back one night when I was sitting wtih Izzy. I'm very happy that its back, I'm happy that I actually feel again. I'm not sure how it happened, but a lot of me doesn't really care as long as it back. Izzy though, seems a bit upset that she wasn't the one to bring it back. I don't really understand, I mean its back, thats what counts right? Why be upset because it didn't come back the way you wanted it to come back? I'm just glad I have it again, to be able to feel again.

Though Ingrid had gotten kidnapped eariler. It was while she was on a date, and her and her date Tristan got snatched out of the car and was missing for over a day. Everyone freaked out, and I still lacked a soul when it happened so I only looked a little and really didn't care. But she was found, she got shot but she was found. Apparently they were left in teh woods and got attacked by demons. What the hell is up with that? Though, Ingrid even managed to kill a demon all by herself, even behead it. Which while I don't like the idea of her out there fighting demons by herself, I am proud that she managed to behead a demon like that. Thats really good for a beginner, so I'm very pleased that she was able to do that.

Strangly though when I mentioned this to Izzy? She did not seem to agree with me on that point. She just gave me a look that said that she really hoped I did not just said that. Which I don't really understand. Though luckilly, besides the incident with Ingrid things have been calm. Patrolling tonight only had a couple vampires to fight. Maybe we'll have a long period of peace now, which would be nice. Though I noticed this one house on Charleston Street, that is on sale and seems abandoned. I'm tempted to check it out, because something seems weird about this house being here. I mean, the mere fact that I noticed it is one.

I walk into the house to see what is in it. I find that the entry hallway is very small and cramp. I feel the hairs rise on the back of my neck, I hate small areas like these, who would ever want it for their home? Then I hear the nosies, the noises of a family getting ready for a meal. I am about to turn around and walk out, embarrased that I walked into someone's home. But I stop dead in my tracks when I hear an all too familar voice. "Where is that boy Penny? Is he trying to piss off his uncle now?"

When I hear that, I can't help but to walk deeper into the house, to see if it was real. I walk into an all too familar dining area. I see my clan, rushing around to prepare for dinner. I can't help but glance in the mirror that is closest to me. In it, I see myself at ten years old, covered in mud and dirt along with a couple bruises hidden on there. In my arm, I'm clutching my raggeity stuffed animal. I'm scrawny, bony, and look to be seven instead of a ten. Just like i remember myself. And just like how the night progressed, my mother was the first to see me as i enter the room. "Penelope! Were you playing in the muddy fields again? You're a mess! Go clean yourself up before your uncle comes! And why are you holding that thing? You're too old for that!"

I can feel what the ten year old me wishes to say, how he wanted to say that he wasn't playing, but hiding from his cousins. They were trying to beat him up again and he was hiding. He also wanted to say that he wasn't too old for my stuffed animal, he needed it. Meanwhile the adult me, the one who knows how this exactly plays out, wants to scream that everyone has to get away. That the Dogwoods are coming in full force, that Randy figured out a way to penatrate their protection spells. I am filling up with fear as I know that they are coming at this very moment. Unfortunatly, neither versions of me say anything, neither of us can seem to form the words in our mouths. Instead, the stuffed animal who I had once affectionally called Braver gets clutched harder, refusing to be releashed.

I feel my mom grab my arm and drag me to the washing room. I see myself put down Braver gently only to start scrubbing my arms with the water from the washing bucket. I feel myself starting to choke, knowing whats going to come next in events. And just like always, I hear someone shout out and a window get smashed. My mother looks up in fear, and then grabs my arm and drags me away from the washroom and only by sheer luck is the ten year old able to snatch Braver. The ten year old me is confused and scared as to what is going on. The adult me is only afraid, knowing perfectly well what is happening and what is coming next. She leads me to her bedroom, grabs something from her dresser, and shoves a gun and a dagger both into my arms, pushing Braver out of them. Then, before i could pick my beloved animal up, she pushes me into the closet. She keeps telling me to stay quiet, and whatever I do I cannot be seen until she comes to get me. She gives me a quick hug and then shuts the closet door on me. I feel both sides of me scared and start to cry as the sounds of killing and mayhem come in from the other side. Finally, the adult me has enough and fights to change all of this. I pull out the gun from the holister and point it as I'm ready to kick my way out of the room.

Suddenly, the scene changes around me to an alleyway in Sunnydale. I suddenly find myself in yet another situation, nerves rattled from what i had just experienced. I'm holding the same gun, the one I had with me for years, and I shoot at someone who had just jumped me three times. I stop in fear, knowing exactly what is going on. I drop the gun as I feel myself realize that it wasn't a demon I had shot at, but a human. I go to see if he's still alive, getting his blood on my hands, but once again he's dead. But I find myself surprised to see that is not the kid that I had shot before. Its...Nick, I had shot and killed Izzy's youngest brother. I'm now shaking in fear, staring at the person I had just slain. Then, i look up to see that Izzy has walked upon this scene, and looks at me in complete horror. I start to get up and go to her to explain what happened, but she turns around and runs away from me. I call after her, and then run after her, but she stays ahead of me. I keep runnign until I run through the doors of the house and onto the sidewalk outside the house.

Yeah, that is kinda weird for a house like that to be. Seems very interesting though, maybe I should check it out sometime. If anything, it might be a good place to patrol for possible demon nests. Though maybe tomorrow night, I'm extremely exhausted for some reason. Guess i just forgot how much patrolling can take out of you.

Wed, 26 Jan 2005 02:37:41 GMT

Something's wrong. I'm not sure whats wrong, but something's off. I just feel different, though I'm not sure if I can even say I'm feeling at all. Its like I'm hollow inside, I can't seem to get any energy to do anything, or care about anything. It just all seems so...pointless.

I think I started feeling this way Sunday. Yeah, after i ran into two people whom I've never met before in the hall. I ran into them, they started talking to me, and then there was this flash. Next thing I know, I felt myself getting colder and colder inside. Then I literally passed out in the middle of the hallway until Izzy's brother Nick woke me up. Since then, I've been feeling like this.

I don't really understand, what happened to me? Nothing seems to be physically wrong with me. I don't get it, I've been sick before but never felt like this. Never felt like i have no will to do anything, like I just didn't care about anything. Since Sunday I've been not doing any patrolling because I can't help but think why bother? What do I care if a few vamps live or die? Would it change anything at all? And I remember having a slight fight with Izzy, but looking back on it I can't seem to get why I was fighting with her or why I was feeling that way during the fight.

I really don't like this at all. I don't like feeling this way. I want to feel like I care again, hell I just want to feel again. Maybe I should ask someone, see if anyone knows what could of happened to me. If so, maybe someone will know what to do to fix it. Yeah, maybe I should do that...once I find the energy and will to get myself to do it.

Sunnydale Cementary - Nighttime

Sat, 22 Jan 2005 20:34:01 GMT

Yeah okay this singing thing is getting to be really weird. Everyone seems to be breaking out into songs and dances, which makes no sense what so ever. Where is the music coming from? I've seen so much of it the past few days. According to Izzy, it isn't normal. Which I'm glad for its not normal, because I don't think I could stand it being the normal way of life.

At least it seems to be going better with all of Izzy's siblings. They've been here awhile and none of them have yet to perish or get hurt. Irene is taking self defense classes from a guy called Aiden, who I remember to be one of the soldiers at the highschool. Though there are still the others, and I'm sure Izzy will have me teach them self defense since she's been extremely stressed since they came here, and really I have been too. In fact, patrolling has been kind of my relaxation time, to just get away from it all. Though I might end up starting to invite Izzy on these if she gets anymore freaked out, its worth a shot to ask anyway.

I don't know, part of me feels guilty for all of this. I mean I feel like I'm the reason Izzy is here to begin with, because I won't leave. And because of that, all of her siblings are here, and she is freaking out because of them. So really, none of this would of really happened if I hadn't decided to stay here, if I could just give up the whole defending the hellmouth thing. Yet, this is the only place I've known as home, and I don't want to leave it until I know its safe. But I'm pretty sure it won't ever be safe, things just seem to keep coming. Its like a never ending thing. No matter how I look at it, its a losing situation.

*music starts to cue as he's walking through the cementary, frowns confused and looks for the source of music. Gets even more confused as he starts singing*

"If shame had a face I think it would kind of look like mine
if it had a home would it be my eyes
would you believe me if I said I'm tired of this
well here we go now one more time

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground
I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this

so when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good"

*jumps up on a tombstone and starts walking on top of them, hopping from stone to stone*

well I never thought I'd end up here never
thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong now one more time

*gets to the final tombstone and sees a vamp. Does a very fancy flip off of the tombstone onto the ground and runs after the vamp. Catches up to the very confused vamp and starts fighting with him, going along with the music*

I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low I could get down to the ground

*ducks to the ground as the vamp throws a punch, then jumps back up and continues to pummel the vampire*

I tried to earn my way
I tried to change this mind
you better believe that I have tried to beat this

*leaps on a bench for height and stakes the vamp, and as the dust clears holds out both of his arms and looks up at the night sky on *

So when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this

*steps on the back end of the bench so it goes down and walks over it onto the ground. Several vamps near by come up and start to sing back up*

Sick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeah
sick cycle carousel
this is a sick cycle yeah

*does a twirl and then another flip onto a large tombstone, teleporting halfway through so he can make it to the top, goes to the other end of it and plops down on the edge of it, feet dangling over the edge*

So when will this end it goes on and on
over and over and over again
keeps spinning around I know that it won't stop
till I step down from this for good"

*gets a complete look of confusion and embarrasement as the music fades away with the vamps softly singing "sick cycle carousel" over and over until the music is completely faded* Okay, that was extremely weird. Whats a carousel anyway?

*turns to look at all the vamps* You do realize that just for merely seeing that and aiding in it you'll have to die right? *sees the vamps nod and then get pissed off and go to start to attack him* Okay, so long as we're clear *leaps off the tombstone and goes to fight the vampires*

Mon, 10 Jan 2005 21:47:28 GMT

saved for later.

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 03:51:57 GMT

Apparently its Christmas again. I remember hearing about this holiday when I was here before while I was still living completely on my own. Which is pretty surprising, it means that I've been here for over a year if they say that Christmas only comes once a year. I didn't realize it had been that soon already, I guess time goes quickly or something.

But this Christmas thing is a bit weird. Many odd traditions that Izzy has been insisting we follow. Not that any of them were bad or anything, I was just a bit confused at them. Like the whole having a tree in the living room and putting decorations on it. I'm still not sure what purpose that served, though it looked pretty when it was done.

Also at Christmas you are suppose to do a gift exchange where you buy the people you care about gifts. Such as for a bit Izzy went to a place in Europe and brought back Cristoff's grandmother for a present. Now, I'm not sure if she actually bought her, since she is Cristoff's family and it seems kinda mean that you would have to pay someone to go somewhere to see your family, but who knows. Whether she was bought or not, it made Cristoff really happy and he was happy with his gift.

As for myself I tried to buy things for everyone that I cared about and knew very well. It was hard, trying to find things that were right for people. India was easy, i got her a real mace since the mace that she has is merely just a spray. Mikka I got earrings and Rixte a wind chime that makes bell sounds. For Izzy, after a long time of looking, I finally settled for a nice necklace at the Magic Box which apparently has a protection charm on it. Though I believe my favorite gift was the one i got Cristoff and Eva, which was a chicken who was still alive so Eva may do whatever she wishes to it.

Christmas was pretty fun, I have to say I enjoyed it a lot. I think everyone enjoyed the gifts I got them, and I liked most of the gifts that i got (except the one from Yuff who decided to try his bad sense of humor for Christmas). Though I'm confused as to why Eva got me a large tv, because I'm not blind, I didn't have trouble seeing the tv at all before. The swords that India and Izzy got me are very neat, and Izzy also got me the Star Wars DVD so "I would have no excuse not to watch it". Well, might as well watch it, couldn't be that bad if so many people like it so much right? Then again, lots of people like the movie Dracula, that could be a bad sign.

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 23:24:14 GMT

Apparently there is a holiday called Thanks-Giving that seems to be important. From what I understand of it, it appears to be a holiday where you show that you are thankful by killing a rather large bird called a turkey (which doesn't in fact, come from the country near Greece also named Turkey), cooking it, and then eating it along with many other foods. I am not certain why we must eat this large bird in order to show that we are thankful for the things in our lives. It seems rather strange.

We are in Utah since we were invited to come here for the Thanks-Giving meal by Rhia and Dylan. Izzy and I left Greece on Monday and arrived here. I was very worried that it would be a lot like Montana, since that was the last place that Dylan invited me to go to. There are mountains here like in Montana, but it does appear to be different. At least we haven't had to kill a small town of demons yet. Also many people are here along with us in Utah, though I think I only know about half of them. Fortunatly no one has yet to mistake me for Yuffie yet. Though Yuffie seems plenty unhappy about having to talk to Connor about weapons, which I admit amuses me a lot to see him all nervous as he's near Connor.

Though I'm not really sure why for this holiday that Izzy agreed to wear hairbells. She said they seem festive to her. Um okay. Maybe its a human thing, but they just seem like hairbells to me and makes a lot of noise. But as long as they don't try to give any to me I don't mind it.

I've been giving a lot of thought to the job that Izzy offered me when we were Greece. She wants me to work for in the job she does now. Which I admit, I would enjoy doing a lot. My job at the Bronze is a joke and I don't like it at all. With the job she offered me I could see the world and get paid for doing that. So I agreed to do it and take the job, which she was very happy about. I think I'm going to give my two weeks notice at the Bronze when I go back to Sunnydale after this weekend. Hopefully my boss won't be too mad at that.

Sun, 14 Nov 2004 03:46:10 GMT

Greece is beautiful, I've never seen such a place like it. Everything seems different here. They even speak a different language than what they speak back in Sunnydale. Izzy says that it is Greek. Its interesting to hear, I have heard languages I did not understand being spoke before, but it is still odd to hear. And it also makes me curious as to what they are saying.

Currently we are in Chora, which is on some islands which are south of Greece. According to Izzy, the book of revelations was writing here. Which is apparently is a part of the bible book about the end of the world. Which I don't understand, why would a book be in a book like that? And then if the end of the world was already reveled like the title of the thing says it was, then why was everyone so shocked by the end of the world? WOuld this bible thing just talk about what was happening? It doesn't make much sense.

It was raining a lot of the time we have been here, though recently it cleared up. Which raining or not raining, I still have been enjoying myself. I like seeing all these new places with Izzy, its a lot of fun. And it makes me want to see more places, see more of this world. I love spending the time with Izzy, its been peaceful and relaxing. There have been no demons to fight, no horror as which to speak of. Yet things are not boring, we have things to do, places to explore and things to find out. I like it a lot, I could get used to it.

Sat, 06 Nov 2004 23:38:24 GMT

We were succesful in Montana and able to retrive the weapon that Connor and Dylan needed. Okay, we managed to wipe out an entire town in the process, but we got what we went for. I have to say that while I want to see a lot of this world, I never wish to visit Montana again. And I hope not many places are like Montana, because I not like it in the least.

The slayers have been restored to their formal power and Buffy is back in Sunnydale. Which is good, I am happy that there is a slayer here again. Joan is still gone and it looks like she will not return, but at least we have a slayer in the town again. And they said that there used to be only one slayer in the entire world, yet there are two now not counting Buffy. I am not sure what changed, but if the world was able to manage with one slayer before, I think that the town will be alright.

Izzy and I talked about it and we decided that now is a good time to go to Greece since everything is calming down and i don't have to go back to work until after Thanksgiving. We leave tomorrow on a plane, which I admit I'm not looking foreward to. But I am very excited about Greece, it shall be nice to get away from Sunnydale and see someplace new with Izzy. And from what I learned about Greece in the school library it does not seem at all like Montana. The part we are going to has the ocean for one, which I am glad about.

Though now apparently I need something called a passport to get there, which I do not understand. I did not need one to go to New York, why would I need it to go to Greece? It doesn't make much sense. Fortunatly Izzy said that she would be able to get me one for tomorrow.

It seems that everyone else seems to be leaving as well for vacations. Cristoff and Eva went to San Fransico which is apparently a city in California. Mikka speaks of going back to Seattle which is up north. Other people that were in the high school went to different places as well. Which I cannot aruge with, we all endured an apocalypse, we deserve some relaxation.

In Wickes Montana

Sun, 31 Oct 2004 01:27:16 GMT

I do not like Montana. In fact I believe I even hate it. The entire town has a population of 8 including the dog which talks. Which according to Dylan, dogs are not suppose to talk.

Though if dogs cannot talk, then why do they call them man's best friend? I do not understand. How is a dog different from any other animal? This dog does not to seem to be any different, other than he can talk.

As it turns out, the entire town are in fact demons. They do not wish for us to find the key, even the dog who they call Sheriff wants us not to find the key and out of this town. So they are trying to kill us. Rixte teleported away with my long knife and brought back another demon to help us and gave me back my knife.

I want to go home. I want to go back to Sunnydale NOW. I hate this town, I hate these demons, and I just hate all of this. I wish to find the key that Connor and Dylan need and just go home. Izzy was right for not wanting me to go here. No one should go here, it is a hellish place.

Which is probably why all these damn demons are here.

Thu, 28 Oct 2004 03:19:07 GMT

I've been on a countless amount of battlefields in my life. Usually I was there to scanvage for food or supplies, digging through the bodies. Thats what you did to survive, the smell of blood and death meant you had a chance to gain things that you needed. The first few times I remember throwing up from the smell, and digging through the possessions while I was crying for the people I didn't know. The last few times, I barely gave them a second glance, to me it was nothing more than me surviving and them being the unlucky ones. That was my experiences on battlefields, never as one of the sides fighting for whatever cause. I was just the boy finding anything to pick up from it afterwards so he could live, nothing personal about it, just business.

Yet today, after we were all done fighting, I had a larger urge to cry than to just shrug it off as I was used to. We had won, beaten the demon army for once and for all. Ashmore was dead, never to try to open the hellmouth again. We didn't need to fight for our lives anymore. We lost a lot of lives in order to achieve that. But we didn't need to fight anymore, or struggle to survive.

But fighting and struggling to survive is pretty much what I've done most of my life. Its hard to imagine anything else, no matter how much I dreamed of not having to do things. Its hard for me right now, to think of what else to do. Its hard to grasp that part is over.

Last night Captain Holtz and Jack sent Yuffie and me on a mission to weld all the sewer holes so the vampires couldn't escape the sunlight. It tooks us all night to do so, and we had to separate at the end in order to get all the sewer holes covered in time for dawn. Yuffie assured me he would be okay and he would meet me back at the school, telling me i worried too much. So I left him to get the sewer hole that I was suppose to do done, got it done without too much trouble. A lot of demons shooting at me, but I got off with only a few grazes that barely hurt. After I was finished I teleported back to the school. He had told me that he would probably be back before I was, since he was faster at the welding. He wasn't back yet though, and it was after dawn.

I didn't have time to worry though, there was still the battle going on. I yelled at Mikka in the infirmary to keep an eye out for him, and then ran to join the battle. I spent the morning hacking and slicing at demons, and seeing the vampires go up in dust as the sewer holes were covered. I kinda smiled at that, we did a good job. The demons started getting less and less, i finally started to think we were going to win. Then I heard people shouting that Ashmore was down, the bastard was dead. Later I learned that Paige, the one he has put through so much, was the one to take him down. She went down with him, died on the battlefield. I'm still trying to decide how to react to that. I barely knew her, we never talked to each other before. We were in the same meetings and fought for the same cause, she was the reason so many were so determine to bring down Ashmore. I can only hope that she may rest in peace now, she died couragously.

Now that the fighting over, we have to clean up. Clean up the bodies, do some sort of service for the dead. If it was back where i came from, we would do a cremation, and speak of their brave actions in tales. Paige would probably been made into some sort of tale that bards would tell, the fighting healer that took down the general. Something like that, I'm not sure. But here, I am unsure what is suppose to be done. I'm just at a complete lost.

Izzy, I went to find her as soon as the battle was over with. She was okay, she suffered no major injuries. I was beyond happy to see her alright. Hell, when I saw her okay I pretty much put all other thoughts out of my head. Until she reminded me anyway, asking what happened with the welding and where Yuffie was at. As for Yuffie, he didn't come back until late, nearly twillight tonight. He was injured, covered in dirt and his own blood from his leg which looked bad. When I asked him what happened he growled at me and said "You jynxed me you fucker, thats what. Get me to the infirmary before I pass out again". Took him to the infirmary, where Mikka saw him with his injury. I left quickly but I could hear her yelling at him while I left, telling him that she thought he had gotten himself killed like an idiot.

So, its the battle is over. Still trying to grasp that. I don't need to scanvage, or do anything like that. There are no more demons to fight for now, we're just recovering, retriving the dead, treating the wounded. Eventually we'll have to rebuild the town, rebuild our lives. Eventually I'll have to go back to work, which I have to say is kind of a disappointment. The battle is over, yeah, but there is more to do still. I know, its not time to go to Greece yet. Soon it will be though, yeah soon. I'll be able to figure out what to do by then, I know I will be able to.

Tue, 26 Oct 2004 03:54:36 GMT

I am tired, this week has been very long. Right now I want to do nothing more than to collaspe and sleep for a very long time. I have barely slept at all, only when people force me to sleep when I'm not on shift to fight. There's been so much fighting, so much that has happened. Ashmore's army is still out there. The fighting is still going on.

She's here, the slayer vampire. She came along with Stephen and his father, Holtz. Rixte teleported her in right with the other two. When I saw here standing there in the hallway, I lost my temper. I was tired and sore and covered in demon blood which I am sure that some of it is mine. I ended up yelling at her, demanding why she was there. Stephen guarded her, which probably ended up angering me more. She was the one who was being protected after what happened. She told him it was alright that I acted that way to her, and then apoligized for what she did. Which I admit, threw me off. From the way she said it, the look in her eyes was different than I last remember seeing. I still don't trust her, not in the least. But I was conflicted as I watched her, had the soul really changed her? Is she a different person than she was that night in the alleyway? She's seems to be, though I am far from trusting her.

Three Turok Han were releashed from the seal. Someone managed to get to the seal and sacrifice a soldier to it while we were fighting off Ashmore's forces. A diverson, I am disappointed in myself that I didn't think of that as a possiblity. Willow and Tara made a magical barrier around the basement to make sure they didn't get loose and wreck havoc upon the school. The barrier couldn't last forever so when Stephen and Emily Anne arrived we decided to teleport the Turok Han out into the woods, so they could fight them there. One by one me, Rixte and Yuffie teleported through the barrier and quickly teleported one out to different areas of the woods. I went into the barrier after Rixte did, since she seemed not at all afraid and went before we could stop her. Yuffie was the most hesitant of us, and I can't really blame him for not wanting to be near those creatures. We didn't have much room for mistakes, even if we paused too long it would of ended badly.

Luckily, we all managed to teleport our Turok Hans without any injuries into the woods. I teleported back to the high school to teleport Emily Anne into the woods along with Rixte teleporting Stephen. I believe it was a mistake of me to say that i wanted to teleport Emily Anne instead of Stephen. It was probably because in the moment i said I would I forgot that in order to do that i would have to touch her, be close to her. And holding her hand while teleporting and being close enough to smell her? Too close for comfort in my opinion, I was having having quick flashbacks to that night the entire time I was near her. I should of had Rixte teleport her. But now they are in the woods, hunting the Turok Han. They have yet to be back, I hope that means they are still hunting them and were not taken out by them instead.

The fighting continues at the highschool, it is very intense at night and during the day it is light attacks, just enough to make it hard to rest. We have been using tactics like that one night, using explosives made by Yuffie to take out groups and targeting the leaders. But there always seems to be more demons, more fighting. I'm growing weary and tired, I'm not sure how much longer I can hold on. I keep thinking back to what Giles said about me having survival instincts and that I set the tone. I'm worried that I'll let people down, if I am not strong enough. I am doing the best I can, giving everything i can. I'm not sure if that is enough. But I have to try right? Make sure we get out of this alive, I gotta make sure of that.

One good thing at least, they were able to close the seal. Maddy, Jack, Xander, and Yuffie decided they wanted to be there as they made the one who open it cried. I did not see anything, because I was busy fighting off demons. But as Yuffie explained it, the people he worked for would kill to have Maddy part of their team that get information out of people. Which I guess is a type of compliment, I'm not sure. Doesn't matter, they said that he cried enough to get the seal closed. Which means we don't have to worry about Turok Han killing us from the inside, just the army on the outside trying to kill us and the Turok Han out there. And strangly enough, that is almost a comforting thought for me.

Tue, 19 Oct 2004 01:27:28 GMT

Today we had a meeting about our options, what we need to do. Mr. Giles ran the meeting. I always thought him as somewhat reasonable. But the plan he suggested was just plain ludicrous, I can't believe he actually thought this was a plan that we should do. He wants to bring the slayer vampire, who is named Emily Anne, back from whatever dimenson they shoved her in and have her be our hope to save us.

I can't believe the insanity of this idea. In what kind of fucked up mind sense is this a good idea? How the hell can she be trusted? Everyone kept mentioning how she might have a soul so she might be alright. Yeah all the souled vamps I've had the pleasure of meeting? Not good, just out of their damn minds. And thats what we need around here, a fucking slayer vampire that might be nuts from a soul.

Giles talked about how Emily Anne helped him out and how she's Spike's daughter. Yeah, if Spike is worth trusting, then where the fuck is he? He sure as hell isn't here. As for her helping Giles, sure yeah a person can do a good deed, doesn't make you a good person. For all we know she had motivation behind helping him. Why the fuck should we trust her based on the fact that she was seen doing one good deed and she's the daughter of someone who skips town and suddenly she's the one we can count on?

A lot of people kept telling me that she was the only hope we got, that its a risk we need to talk. Fuck that logic, they weren't the ones that got to be her punching bag. Who got pinned to the ground and bit into. Oh yeah, or the ones that she tried to turn, and when she couldn't do that she decided to beat until she got bored and left to die of bloodloss in an alleyway. I was the one who got that treatment, who gets to remember every fucking moment of that night up until I passed out. I saw no remorse or good in her as she did those things to me, not any. All I saw was a monster, playing with its prey. Tell me why I should trust her, tell me why we should not leave her in whatever place she is, if not stake her.

I said that we shouldn't trust her, that she's a monster. I was very much on the hell no opinion of it. How they reacted? They said that they understood my concerns, but this may be the only course of action. Concerns? Fucking concerns? No, if I had a concern, it would be what Yuffie said about this Dylan and opening a portal, that it might go wrong. THATS a concern. Me saying that she's a monster and shouldn't be trusted no matter what? I would call that fucking fact.

We took it to a vote, to see what everyone else thought. Nearly everyone else except a few agreed with Mr. Giles about bringing Emily Anne into the fight. I couldn't believe it, how can they think this is a good idea? I was so pissed that I stormed out of the room the moment the vote was taken. I couldn't stand another moment in there, no one was listening to me. Why should they? It was my story against Mr. Giles's. Everyone trusts him more, everyone listens to what he says because everyone thinks he knows what the fuck he's talking about. Meanwhile I'm the guy half the people aren't sure if I'm Yuffie or not. Some chance I had.

Since then I've been just sitting on the catwalk in the auditorium. I don't want to sit anywhere near windows, it makes me even more uneasy to see the enemy camped right outside, taunting and intimidating us. Keep trying to clear all my thoughts that keep racing through my head. Especially remembering the entire night. I don't get it, how the hell are they suppose to think that she's worth such a risk? She's dangerous as hell, and probably extremely unstable with that soul. And by now he's probably already contacted this Dylan, and she'll probably be here soon. Fuck, this can't be happening. I know one thing for certain. If she so much as moves to harm a single person here? She's dead, fuck her being our hope, I'm not going to let her live if she poses the slightest bit of a threat to our group.

Tue, 12 Oct 2004 23:56:09 GMT

There was an attack, an attack on everything we have. Several soldiers are dead, two alone died in my patrol team. So many of us were injured. Eva and Cristoff had arrows in them, and Mikka got a nerf arrow in the stomach. Other people in the other teams and the soldiers suffered from severe injuries. Everyone else have small minor ones, including myself. They blew up the miltary base, they attacked the places we were staying. They brought nerf and knew who to aim it at. It was all planned, there's no doubt about it. They knew and they tried to wipe us out.

Once again, I find myself surrounded by death and destruction, and I come out of it with only a slight injury that will be completely gone within a few days. Funny how history likes to repeat itself.

The night was like something out of a nightmare. We were all patrolling, our team when Cristoff heard someone coming and then a nerf arrow brushed across my arm, burning it a little bit. Next thing I know there was so many of them, shooting crossbows and nerf crossbows at us. Within minutes a soldier, I think his name was Kenneth, was shot to the ground, and Cristoff got an arrow in the rib. We had no choice but to get out of there, there were far too many for us to fight. We ran to a crypt that was nearby, but another soldier by the name of Matthew got shot down on the way. My hand got hit by some nerf and it hurt so much it made me drop my weapon. We got to the crypt and I teleported Cristoff out first, then when I teleported back I heard an explosion. It shook up the crypt and debris fell all over. I just kept teleporting people out and to the hospitals, one by one. Izzy insisted on being last, which made me uneasy. The demons were close to breaking in when i came for her.

I thought that would be the end of the night. I wanted it to be the end of it. But then I listen to the walkie talkie and heard that all the groups got attacked like ours did. As well as Eva's house, the base, and even the high school. Everyone had injuries like ours, I got to hear that Mikka got a stomach wound with nerf over the walkie talkie. She was alive though, in really bad shape but alive. Then, there was screaming in the hospital, screams of people being attacked. The hospital was being attacked. Damn, even back in my home dimenson, no matter how bad things got, there was a rule about attacking the medical areas. No one did, it was considered unhonorable and horrible. You don't attack healers and people who can't fight back because they are injured in a hospital.

Yet these bastards did, showing that they had no amount of humanity in them.

It was vampires that were doing it. They manage to kill some doctors and some patients, but we fought them back. Whoever was able to including myself, Izzy, Jack, Maddy and others from the meeting. I was tired, sore, and I wanted nothing but to curl up and sleep, but I fought them. Channeled all the anger I had in me to keep me going. I was pissed as hell, they had attacked our lives and now this. They wanted a slaughter, they were killing the ones that couldn't protect themselves. They deserved to die.

Afterwards we decided that we needed to guard the hellmouth, since they had attack that too. All our bases were gone or in ruins. So we decided to go to the highschool and stay there. Guard the hellmouth with all we got, hope that it works. When we arrived there Mr. Giles's team were there, battered and bruised along with Yuffie's team who went to help them. They had been able to fight off the demons that attacked, it was a small group of demons. Yuffie broke down when he saw Mikka being carried into the medical area along with Eva. I mean he literally dropped his weapon and started backing up, shaking his head over and over again, completely lost at what to do. Everyone else was in shock as well.

I'm still trying to get a hold of what happened. Right now, I'm still feeling the survival instinct, trying to think of nothing but surviving and fighting. I'm just waiting for myself to break down as well. I know it will come, it always has, whenever I'm in situations like this. The question is when it will happen. Now, I'm just tired, I want this to be over. I want to go away with Izzy to where ever and not have this going on.

I keep hear soldiers and other people as I got through the halls of the high school praying, as they call it, to God. It sounds like back home when people would pray to their ancestors for aid. It makes me curious, how they can still pray to this God, despite what we all went through. If such a divine being love them so, why did he put them through all of this?

Mon, 11 Oct 2004 02:15:15 GMT

We have been patrolling every night in our new teams. The army guys seem a bit stand offish, but Izzy says that is because they are trained that way. They have relaxed a bit during patrolling with us, once they have realized that we do know what we are doing. I was even able to have a conversation with them even if it was brief. Despite their training to be arrogant and quiet, they are quite nice people. So our team has been going well, unlike some of the other teams. Not so surprisingly Yuff's team had some trouble and they had to transfer a couple of people. Yeah okay, I probably should of seen that one coming.

I'm not sure if I really understand the concept of these code names on the walkie talkies. Everyone says we need to come up with one. I didn't want to since I didn't understand why we needed them. So I went without a name the first few nights until someone on the walkie talkies mistaked me for Yuffie which I was not happy about and told them that I was not Yuffie. Now everyone keeps calling me that. Its somewhat annoying.

Power is completely out in town and we're running low on the generator. We can only use the power at night. I'm fine with that, I spend most of the day sleeping anyway. We're also down to eating whatever is avalible. Its getting more and more like home everyday for me, which is not good. I keep finding myself slipping back into old habits, which makes me uneasy how quickly I can go back to them. Especially this today when we were talking about food and my first instinct of stealing came back to me, I didn't tell anyone that was my first idea, but it was surprising that it came back so fast.

Tonight we are patrolling the cementary called Restfeld. Last night it was a quiet night as far as demons go. I'm hoping its another quiet one, we need breathing room. Morale is going down and we're all tired and worn out. Damn, we just need an end in sight to all of this.

Tue, 05 Oct 2004 22:42:45 GMT

Starting to remember why I like living on my own better than with a lot of other people. All of us staying at Eva's house is very chaotic and loud. There's hardly ever a moment of quiet, especially with that boy Andrew who keeps asking me questions about if I have seen stuff that i don't understand. And he keeps being shocked when I keep telling him no I haven't. Does he not get that I'm not from here? Besides, now it not the time to learn about this stuff.

The other night we attended a meeting at the Magic Box. Other people who have been patrolling the town showed up and we exchanged information. We decided to mix up our patrolling parties so it would make for better patrolling. One woman by the name of Maddy said she knew Rixte and would be willing to patrol with her. Which I'm glad for, since I didn't want to send her with some unexpecting person since there is no way you could sneak as long as she is in your team. And I believe Yuffie is pissed at me for signing him up to go with a pair that are new to the demon slaying. He kept swearing under this breath and giving me dirty looks when I told him that. Well, he should of attended the meeting instead of blowing it off like he did.

It's hard to believe that so many people have been out there patrolling. I mean its felt like it was just us out there. Yet at the meeting a man named Jack said he had a hundred men fit for patrolling. And there were a lot of people there. It makes me slightly less worried, that we aren't the only ones here to fight. Maybe there is a bit of hope that we can beat back that demon who wishes to open the hellmouth. On the other hand, it makes me worried that if that many people out there, its still this bad? Over a hundred people are out patrolling and fighting demons yet the town is reminding me of of home more and more everyday. How strong are these forces we're up against?

Its Izzy's birthday today, nearly forgot about it with everything going on. Everything has been busy i haven't really had a moment to think about it. Though I know she wasn't really looking foreward to it at all, since she had a feeling that turning 30 was bad. Which part of me? Hoping she didn't mean something like this would be going on for it.

Help me carry on

Sun, 03 Oct 2004 00:09:56 GMT

Things are still rough, in fact they are only getting worse. We now have power outages that last for awhile. I am used to living without power, but it is a bit inconvient to have to fumble around in the dark again. Everyone is saying its only a matter of time before it goes out for good, meaning we shall have no power at all. That is not good, but I can live without it. Though it will make things more difficult.

As for patrolling, to say the least it is tedious to patrol with a sprained wrist. I can only shoot a crossbow and have to in the back during the fights since I could not handle a hand-to-hand fight. I wish that this wrist would hurry up and heal, I do not like it one bit. Everyone else has to cover for me with it and that makes me uneasy that one of them will get hurt. Especially Yuffie who seems to have taken a tendency to be reckless when he is patrolling, he's had too many close calls. But luckilly we have yet to run across the Turok Han that attacked us last week.

We need more help, there are too many demons out there. The numbers are still growing and things are just getting worse. Its starting to remind me of back home in the other dimenson. I'm trying to not let it on that I'm getting a bit freaked by how things are, but I know Izzy picked up on it. I get the feeling that she is doing the same thing as me with the pretending everything will be okay around everyone.

Today I'm trying to get more help. I remembered Roxie mentioning how Andrew gave her my name about who killed Randy. I think if he is in town still he owes me for the backstabbing, considering I saved his damn life. Izzy was able to locate his address and I'm going over there now to see if I can force him to help out.

Sun, 26 Sep 2004 05:26:22 GMT

Tonight, tonight was bad. We were all patrolling, Eva, Cristoff, Izzy and I. It looked like it was going ot be a quiet night, which should of tipped me off. Its always quiet before the worse, how did I not remember that? I was raised with that expression. And yet I let my hope that I would get an early night off get in the way of my caution. Dammit.

We were attacked, but a bunch of vamps and this monster. I don't know what it was, but it was strong. It knocked out Eva, threw a knife at Cristoff, and made manage to sprain my wrist without any effort. I'm lucky it didn't twist it clean off. What was that thing? If it wasn't for Rixte popping in and teleporting that thing out we would of been finished. We got lucky.

Afterwards, they had me teleport Eva to the hospital. They submitted her right away. I was able to steal an ice pack for my wrist, but I don't think its a good idea to have the doctors to take a look at it. It'll heal, the main concern is Eva. And Cristoff's cut looks bad, but he refuses to have it looked at until we find out about Eva.

Right now, we're just waiting. In the waiting room waiting to hear from the doctors. Everyone is uneasy including myself. Yuffie, India and Evan are all here as well as us who patrolled. I hate the waiting part most of all. You think about so much, about things that you try to push out of your mind normally. And I can't help but feel guilty, not being able to stop the monster from hurting Eva, for not moving fast enough or hell not having a problem with her patrolling. Its funny how this stuff comes to you after something bad happened. Really wish it didn't.

Fri, 24 Sep 2004 18:09:17 GMT

Izzy's back, she called me last Saturday and asked me to pick her up. She had got the schimitar and was ready to come home. So I teleported to where she was and then we went to see Dracula's castle. I have seen castles and fortresses before, but this was pretty interesting to see. But I actually told Izzy that I loved her there, not sure why I did, it just came out. But I do, love her, and I'm extremely glad she feels the same way about me.

Though um, weird thing. Both Izzy and I swore we saw Eva as we were leaving Dracula's castle. Which why was she there? It makes no sense, especially since she was in Sunnydale when we stopped by to dropped off the sword. How could she be in two places at once? It makes no sense.

They took care of the Count by cutting off his hand and its now in their house (um, ew). So does that mean that the Count won't try anything more? I hope so. He's not dead, but his hand is gone, I guess that is a bit of justice to what he did to Izzy, Eva and Cristoff.

Though now we got a whole new issues. The apocalypse what everyone calls it. Which apparently means end of the world. Which is um, bad. Been patrolling nightly, and since I told Eva, Cristoff and Izzy about how there are no slayers, they've been going on patrols with me. Which I'm glad about, because patrolling is getting rougher and rougher. More and more demons and vampires are coming. Its getting bad. None of us have suffered any major injuries, just cuts and bruises. Which we're lucky for, lets hope the luck keeps up.

Sat, 18 Sep 2004 00:10:26 GMT

Earthquake happened the other night in Sunnydale. First one i've ever been in, but I hear it was a bad one. I'll take their word for it, it was pretty scary. I prefer storms with rain and thunder. At least you can find shelter from those. Not sure you can find shelter for an earthquake. And I don't understand why it happened. DId the ground decide that it was restless? Or is it a sign that the bad thing Izzy told me about is coming?

Whatever it was, it was bad at the Bronze. So much panic from everyone, so much noise and shaking. It was hard to think when everyone was crowding you trying to get out and there isn't much space. Which I know is extremely ironic that I work at a club, but at least I'm outside most of the time. Two teenagers had stayed up in the catwalk while it was happening, which i would of thought would of been a good plan to get away from all the crowding, but the catwalk was starting to fall apart from all the shaking. No way they could get through that fall without broken bones, at best.

I told Mikka to help me and teleport up there to get them. Mikka looked pretty damn pale, but she agreed to do it. I teleported up there grabbed the guy and got off without much trouble, but for some reason she stalled. From the look of it, she was petrified with fear. It wasn't until they both nearly slide off that she actually snapped out of it and teleported the girl out of there. Its weird that she frozed like that, but it happens to everyone. Though good luck telling that to her considering what she was muttering to herself afterwards.

The Bronze is close because of repairs, meaning no work for me. Thats fine with me, I got plenty of money for food. Power went out for awhile, which I didn't mind since I'm used to living without power. Besides, too busy trying to clean up my place, earthquake made it a mess. Though not going near the closet until I'm not so shaken up. Whatever is broken in there can wait until current badness has passed and I'm sure I have power to make well lit.

Also Yuff told me yesterday that there are no more slayers, someone called Willow deactivated every last one of them, and the vamps are unsouled. Which um, thats bad. A hellmouth unguarded with a bunch of pissed off vamps. Just great. Doesn't help at all I keep remembering what Izzy had said about coming badness. So yeah, taking to patrolling each night. Which not like I have anything else to do. I just really hope it makes a difference.

And man, I wish Izzy would come home. I think I need her.

Wed, 15 Sep 2004 23:05:28 GMT

The vamps have seemed to lost their souls. No longer with the mumbling, or the crazy talk. Just pure pissed off that they had souls and feeling a need to make up for the time they weren't eating. Just great, makes for some hell at work. Its nearly twice the amount of vamps than usual trying to kill. Not that the bronze is that busy these days since the band isn't playing, but still. Whoever thought it was a good idea to put souls in them all and then take them away have some of the worse plans ever.

Took India out to Ralph's the other night. I think she was pretty freaked by all the demons there since she kept looking around like we had just walked into enemy terrority with targets on our backs. But it was fun, nice way to pass the evening. Despite the fact that she is completely naive, she is pretty nice. Though no idea if she actually understood that I was trying to tell her I was a demon, who knows. But note to self? Don't drink pig's blood for whatever reason, that is just plain gross. Took the entire day afterwards to copletely rid the taste out of my mouth.

Also got a phone call from Izzy the other day. Good to hear from here. Though she said that something bad is coming. Wouldn't tell me how bad or what it was, but from the way it sounded it sounded pretty pretty damn bad. Great, just what I need in my life, more badness. Oh well, been keeping an eye out for it. Hope it isn't that bad and her aunt is just melodramatic. That and that she comes home soon, because for some reason things don't seem as bad when she's around. And yeah, I make no sense and maybe I am losing my mind, but I do feel that way.

Though something weird, last night at work? Joan actually asked me to help her lift something. Which um weird since she's stronger than me and never needed help before. What was up with that?