| (no subject) |
[Oct. 17th, 2009|03:11 am] |
OH SHIT HAS IT REALLY BEEN 8 WEEKS SINCE I LAST UPDATED??
STOP UNFRIENDING ME YOU GUYS STOP IT -
- oh man, just stop it |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 20th, 2009|12:18 am] |
I LEAVE FOR CANADA IN ... IN. *counts on fingers* HOWEVER MANY DAYS UNTIL MONDAY.
LA was great. i didn't meet any celebs, but i did shop on melrose avenue and in beverly hills, on some expensive boutique boulevard, some paps ran past me and mah friend and were all, BLAAAAAARRRGGGHHH HALLE BERRY SHE'S NEARBY. i think she was at some gap jeans release party? (apparently, even pants get raging parties in hollywood. i tried to walk in but the security guards were all, NOOOOOO!!)
some lady got out of her nice car and asked me if i'd be interested in being a hair model.
accidentally crashed some fancy designer sample sale, asking where the toilets were and if i could use them. (THEY HAVE NO PUBLIC TOILETS IN LA)
the default radio station is "pitbull." also, lady gaga and that whole "don't trust a hoe" song, too. and! rihanna. that's it; that's your radio station, YOU BETTER LOVE IT
i came back with a UTI.
i have pictures. i'll post them later. probably.
eta - pictures of LA. not of UTI. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 2nd, 2009|12:11 pm] |
i am hungover
does anyone have any advice for me |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 1st, 2009|11:48 am] |
here's a wank about raisins.
yup.
I once went as a raisin for halloween. no one knew what I was. /cool raisin story
I don't like raisins. /personal anecdote concerning raisins
this is a biting commentary on the current state of ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) sf_drama. you're welcome. *bows and leaves* |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 27th, 2009|11:10 am] |
MY FRIENDS
LISTEN TO ME, MY FRIENDS
IT WOULD APPEAR THAT AT&T HAS UNLOCKED 4CHAN
BUT MY FRIENDS, THE SAGA IS NOT OVER
THERE WILL BE AFTERMATH - OH, THERE WILL BE AFTERMATH INDEED
eta - last night, i sent the CEO and some other highly-ranked individual a strongly-worded email in which i, one of the editors of my univeristy newspaper (for the opinions section AKA the only section anyone reads ever), threatened to write about this a bunch of times. if i may be so humble, i am 1000000000 percent convinced that it was my actions that prompted them to realize their stupidity.
u r welcome, internet.
here is a screencap i took last night. i am proud of myself; i have learned to use the snipping tool. and paint. i painted this screencap - see if you can spot it.
eta -
this is at&t:
 |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2009|10:51 pm] |
oh my fucking god
at&t is blocking access to 4chan
wow. wooooooow.
I repeat: at&t is blocking access to 4chan
wow.
eta!
info, as of 11:09 pm:
-Most AT&T DSL (largest ISP in the US, 15.5% of US Internet users) customers ARE currently not able to access img.4chan.org (/b/ & /r9k/)
-There are a few AT&T DSL users that are NOT affected. Florida, and Ohio are where we've gotten those reports. (Parts of Georgia are still alright as well.) AT&T is a megacorp made from the smaller pieces it was broken down into in the 80s- different equipment and such.
-AT&T Mobility (Cell Phones) and AT&T Uverse customers ARE NOT AFFECTED.(Lie, Uverse is blocking it also)
-It IS NOT a DNS issue. Affected people have tried OpenDNS with no success.
-It IS very visible on a traceroute. It drops within the AT&T network.
-It DOES NOT affect AT&Ts Tier 1 backbone (major bandwidth backbone in US).
-It DOES NOT affect other servers on 4chan.
-People HAVE called customer service (allegedly) and confirmed a block, but agents have denied further info.
way to declare war on the internet, at&t. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|06:24 pm] |
HI EVERYONE
EVEN IF YOU HATE ME, CAN YOU PLEASE DO ME ONE FAVOR
VOTE FOR ULQUIORRA/ORIHIME AT THIS SHIP_MANIFESTO POLL
I'M ASKING YOU REALLY NICELY
I WILL LOVE YOU FOREVER
I WILL POST NAKED PICTURES OF MYSELF
unf unf unf
eta - UNF nvm, we won. :D |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 13th, 2009|01:33 am] |
I'm gonna tell *ya'll* a secret: I was raised in the south.
it should be nuked. sorry, cupcakes.
*takes a bow*
okay, that wasn't entirely fair. san antonio can be spared, as can new orleans. and austin.
canada can inherit the earth, but only after I move there in august.
most pointless post ever.
god, I'm having the biggest craving for kfc.
MY POST HAS NO POINT |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|10:31 pm] |
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ARRRRGGGHH I AM SO HUNGRY AND ALL WE HAVE IN THE HOUSE ARE CHOCOLATE-COVERED PRUNES |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 6th, 2009|10:21 am] |
one in six adults admit urinating in pool.
I UHHH CERTAINLY NEVER DID THIS ... lol...? cough ahem
I'm one of those people who alternates between two states: not having to pee at all or suddenly having to pee so bad that I forget who I am for a minute.
so I admit that I have peed in a pool before. :(
BUT! NOT ANYMORE! BECAUSE OF! TWO THINGS!!!
1. I grew up and realized that it is not nice.
2. I was obsessed with Animal Planet as a kid (...and still now...) and I learned about those fucking asshole fishes that lived in the Amazon River and would swim up your pee tube at any given opportunity. without your permission. no, they would not ask first. >( and they had barbs so you couldn't pull them out. a surgeon would have to take them out. imma gonna faint just thinking about it. so I thought omfg, what if they are in the pools, I will never pee in a pool again. I also thought there were jellyfish and octo-pie (mmmm delicious) in pools, too. thank god I grew out of such delusions, eh? i think bigfoot lives in mah woods
from the article:
The CDC urges pool users:
-- Don't swim when you have diarrhea.
-- Don't swallow pool water.
WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT FUCK YOU GUYS I CAN DO WHAT I WANT
for the love of god, this is why little kids belong in little kiddie pools. the idea of a toddler happily having a poo explosion while I am swimming nearby makes me want to go back to bed and cry myself to sleep. kay goodnight |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 5th, 2009|10:44 pm] |
look at the sparkling wiener text
i can tell u r impressed
wiener text WIENER TEXT!! lol
SPOILER ALERT: this cool entry might give you a seizure. sry for being cool :(
eta - i rhymed. *shakes head and walks out of the room* |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|09:41 pm] |
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i just saw a hipster commercial for mayonnaise |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 24th, 2009|07:12 pm] |
arrrrrgh i've gotten into
HETALIA
i don't know what to do with myself.
SORRY I CAN'T HELP IT
BUT JUST LOOK AT MY COUNTRIES OF ORIGIN
FIRST LOOK AT SEXY RUSSIA
his name is ivan
fapfapfapfapfapfapfap
we have similar soviet era communist pins. hahahaha.
LOOK AT MY BOYFRIEND IVAN
awwwwwww ... ps he's psycho.
this is hungary. she's hot.
her name is elizabeta. but i guess there's controversy surrounding exactly what her name's supposed to be. well, i can tell you that the hungarian version of 'elizabeth' is 'erzsébet.' elizabeth bathory is incorrect; it is really erzsébet báthory. GOOD GOD PEOPLE THIS IS COMMON KNOWLEDGE
cough
anyway. i'm one of, like, four people in the fandom who really truly got into hetalia because of the awesome history aspect...
EVERYONE ELSE IS IN IT FOR THE BOYSEX |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|11:11 am] |
LOL OH MY GOD LOOK IT'S AN EMO RABBIT
it's rabbit smith
yeah, I can't think of anything clever. |
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| psa |
[Jun. 22nd, 2009|04:23 pm] |
my current pet peeve is ~tha camel toe~
it is hated because once it is in site, I cannot look away.
camel toe mesmorizes me and traps my eyeballs against their will.
camel toe is painful and a sure sign that a woman needs to increase her pant size. the only sign more sure is when her pants explode into millions of tiny pieces once she has finished cramming herself into them (with the aid of various cranks and pulleys) and has started moving her legs.
soon camel toe becomes a lifestyle. "if I can wear these pants without them combusting and injuring passer-bys," the woman reasons, "that means they fit." in the blink of an eye, all of a woman's pants are replaced with resting pouches for camel toe, sort of how mother kangaroo's pouch is the incubator for her joey until it is nourished enough to no longer need mother's support.
do you see what I am saying. camel toe is dangerous. it will look a grown woman in the eye and convince her that it does not exist. she will go through pain and countless adjustments of her clothing. instead of realizing that something wicked down there rests, she has a vague feeling of hmmmm something is just not right but camel toe has jedi mind tricked her into believing that she is a martyr for the cause of fashion. camel toe's ally is american apparel.
can you imagine what would happen if camel toe infiltrated our government headquarters?? it is smart and I am here to warn you that is is only a matter of time before camel toe convinces us that it is a good idea to leave valuable military secrets (such as how to drive tanks and hummers) in its ... clutch. I have to suppress a shudder when I imagine the consequences.
in closing, i leave you with this real photograph i took:
top left corner says "the moar you know"
nevar forget
stay vigilent
>( |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 14th, 2009|10:40 am] |
JESUS CHRIST CAN I ASK WHY THE TOP STORIES ON MSN ARE
GOLF FASHION ... GONE BAD
DO FISH FEEL PAIN?
TOP FIVE KARAOKE BAR SCENES IN THE COUNTRY
TOP TEN SEXIEST BRIDAL GOWNS
(I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP)
RATHER THAN
THERE IS SOME MAJOR FUCKING SHIT GOING DOWN IN IRAN RIGHT NOW THAT WE'RE STILL NEGLECTING TO COVER CUZ LOL IDK IT'S SUMMER AND WE WANNA TALK ABOUT DIET TIPS RATHER THAN FOREIGN BR0WN PE0PLE
oh wait, my bad, they do mention it, but you have to scroll down and look on the left side to see the MSNBC NEWS YES WE HAVE NEWS!!!! section.
cnn was fucking useless last night. in the good hour-plus I watched it, they devoted, like, five minutes to the Iranian election riots. msnbc had some prison/crime documentary. none of the news channels had anything.
if you want to learn anything about this, turn to ANDREW SULLIVAN.
really, really shallow note: i'm sorry, but this guy is hot. i just couldn't help but notice. nvm not apologizing |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 3rd, 2009|11:43 am] |
i'm going to be on a boat in, like, two hours
QUICK SOMEONE HELP ME
WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WEAR ON A BOAT |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 2nd, 2009|09:56 am] |
this is me on facebook. if you has a facebook, add me. motherfucker.
this is also me. yes "brett" michaels is me.
here's my personal info:
Activities: in my spare time i am the star of the most successful television series of all time, rock of love with bret michaels (me).
i'm also really good at giving advice for free, so if you have a problem, feel free to ask me, bret michaels.
Interests: i really like and approve of charities. i am a strong supporter of animal rights.
and women's rights too.
Favorite Music: poison was (and still is) the most successful and influential glam 80s hair metal band of all time. did you know that barack obama repeated quoted me, bret michaels, throughout his campaign and still does to this day?
Favorite TV Shows: i, bret michaels, really enjoy infomercials and shark week
Favorite Movies: my favorite movie would have to be a letter from death row because it was yours truly who wrote and starred in it.
have you guys seen me, bret michaels, in my sex tape?
Favorite Books: sometimes juggs for the pictures but usually i stick with the classics like the bible and charlotte's web.
also i, bret michaels, am writing my own book
Favorite Quotations: "You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall."
that is a rad quote from a movie because it describes my life. there are always haters who can't understand me but they don't matter.
About Me: i, bret michaels, have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom because the most essential thing in my life is to establish heartfelt connections with others.
not my best. but I think it's pretty obvious that it's a joke. but I guess it's not all that obvious to other people ...? I BRETT MICHAELS have like 130 friends already. and i'm adding more everyday FUCK YEAH
friend me, brett michaels. it'll rock your face off goddamn
anyways.
there's this one woman. we will call her "barbara." because that is her name. she really likes brett michaels. first she sent to "him" (ME DUUUHH) this message:
I LOVE YOUR SHOW ROCK OF LOVE. THERE IS NOTHING MORE AMUSING THAN A BUNCH OF CATTY WOMEN FIGHTING OVER A GUY. YOU HAVE SUCH A BIG HEART AND YOU DESERVE THE BEST BRETT. I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR ROCK AND YOUR LOVE. JUST SO YOU KNOW, I AM NOT A DIE HARD FAN, BUT I DO LIKE YOUR MUSIC. I HAVE SEVERAL OF YOUR SONGS ON MY PHONE THAT I LISTEN TO WHILE I AM AT WORK. I LIKE ALL KINDS OF GENRE'S. BUT WATCHING YOUR SHOW ALSO LETS ME OR WHOEVER SEE WHAT KIND OF PERSON YOU ARE. YOU HAVE LOYALTY, RELIABILITY, AND TRUST WRITTEN ALL OVER YOU. I WOULD LIKE TO BE ADDED TO YOUR FRIENDS LIST IF YOU DON'T MIND. IF YOU READ THIS, THANKS FOR TAKING THE TIME TOO.
GOD BLESS MY FELLOW PATRIOT. SUPPORT OUR TROOPS!!!!!1
I didn't respond. then she sent this [note - i changed my status to "brett michaels is sick of people judging him!!"]:
I am curious as to what people could possibly judge you about. If they judge you, they don't know you, and therefore, they don't matter. Fuck them. Be true to yourself, be true to your word. People judge because they know they are not perfect, so its easy to pick on someone else. Don't be offended when I say this, but if you really and truly are Brett Michaels, NOBODY can judge you. I don't know you personally, but watching you on TV does tell me that you are a good person and have a big heart. You are a typical male ( love the tits and ass, legs, and whatever), but thats normal. you have an amazing life and have the opportunity to make a difference in people's life. who are they to judge you? They are NOBODY! YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i didn't respond. then she sent this:
do you ever say hello back? just wondering. what ya up to these days?
I didn't respond. then she sent this:
JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO. YOU OUGHT TO COME TO OMAHA NEBRASKA OR COUNCIL BLUFFS IOWA FOR A CONCERT. THAT WOULD BE GREAT. HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY. YOU ROCK!!!!!!!!!!!!
I didn't respond. then she facebook chatted me, just being all, I JUST WANTED TO SAY SOMETHING TO YOU AND HAVE YOU RESPOND BAAAAWW I LOVE YOU MAN so I was just like, thank you very much for all your support, and she was all, THAAANK YOOOOU WAAAH YOU ARE SO AMAZING.
so here's my whole point of this entry:
if I hear some breaking news story about brett michaels being stalked by this woman, am I legally liable for anything? i am just wondering.
kay thanks guys YOU ROCK OH MAN YOU FUCKING ROCK MY FUCKING BOX |
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