They can never love! (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} _peapod) wrote,@ 2004-10-24 14:49:00 |
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for which i am greatly indebted to Private Eye, and to Norman Tebbit for question 7.
Poll #371848 George W. Bush's Survey of the American People for Voting Purposes 2004
Open to: All, detailed results viewable to: All
How old are you?
Which of these options corresponds most closely to your ethnic origin?
White (no sugar)
10 (20.4%)
White (two sugars) 22 (44.9%)
Black (Darjeeling) 1 (2.0%)
European 15 (30.6%)
Republican 1 (2.0%)
What is your Sexual Orientation?
Straight 13 (26.5%)
Straight and Narrow 0 (0.0%)
Straight as an Arrow 2 (4.1%)
Bisexual 14 (28.6%)
Asexual 4 (8.2%)
Bestial 0 (0.0%)
Damned 16 (32.7%)
What is your Religion?
Christian 6 (12.2%)
Catholic 8 (16.3%)
Jewish 4 (8.2%)
Jedi Knight 25 (51.0%)
Terrorist 6 (12.2%)
What is your Marital Status?
Single 25 (51.0%)
Married 4 (8.2%)
Divorced 0 (0.0%)
Sinful 13 (26.5%)
Incestuous 1 (2.0%)
Texan 6 (12.2%)
Please explain why you deserve to be an American citizen. If illiterate, progress to next question.
If England played Pakistan at cricket, who would you support?
Do you own any of the following?
A gun 2 (4.8%)
A pig 3 (7.1%)
A subscription to the New York Times 14 (33.3%)
A trailer 3 (7.1%)
Weapons of Mass Destruction 16 (38.1%)
Osama bin Laden 4 (9.5%)
Who is your favourite television personality?
John Kerry 6 (12.5%)
George W. Bush 4 (8.3%)
Conan O'Brien 32 (66.7%)
Michael Jackson 2 (4.2%)
Osama bin Laden 4 (8.3%)
Which of these benefits do you claim?
The Giro (please do not check if not British) 2 (4.7%)
Social Security 5 (11.6%)
Single Mothers' Allowance 1 (2.3%)
Food Stamps 0 (0.0%)
Antarctica 31 (72.1%)
Osama bin Laden 4 (9.3%)
Who will you vote for in the forthcoming election?
