I have not cried. My pain is heartbreaking (is my heart broken? was it already?), but it will not lead to tears. For they are already sewn into each heavy, yet silent breath.
I think about this, realising I do not have specific thoughts, nor do I want them. Maybe I fear them. I do not want to establish whether these thoughts would be truths or lies. So I drive to my favourite high spot in the city, where I find some peace. I turn off the lights and up the stereo. I sing with my soul, but my voice is not my own. Is it simply that I cannot recognise it? Or is it more... this is currently past my comprehension. And I do not care which. Regardless of the voice, the words are completely unrelated to my sorrows, or even any joy I can muster at this hour. Whom shall I cry out to? And what shall I cry? So I sing another's lovesong. And the pain detaches somewhat from my spirit, flying wherever the man's voice is off to. And I am somehow oddly comforted.
"Today is only a day," I tell myself. There is something in the slammed doors, the cold tiled floor, the stale silence I once felt warm and at home in. There is something there. This will not last.
And this is not backwards. I am not moving backwards. How could I even allow that? "Put down the pen, Colleen." Every disappointment is some mystery of the next unforeseen adventure.
I can put down the pen. I can remain sad but move on.
While everything waits "up in the air".. I wonder, is my life in transition phase? What if Europe doesn't work out? I feel I should be searching for a new job. I honestly love my job, but a. I am not passionate about it and b. I am not making 50k. I know that I need to be one of the two, and either or would not be entirely too difficult. Also I don't think that's greedy since they are foreseeable, and I am infact quite grateful for my current job. But I got school loans, y'all. So if Europe sinks, that is my goal. New job. New city? Still up in the air. If you're curious, I'm still debating the same cities I have been the past 10months. Chicago, Nyc, Portland. It's not that I said I would move ten months ago, I know that I was not ready, but I know I will be soon, if a move is in the (near) future. But I also love Nashville & my life here. In the past couple months my closer friendships have become more apparent, as have been the lives that I do impact. And those that I hold dear.. because I know people in any of those cities won't compare to the people and friendships here. Emoooooo! Okay,
Lately I have had a good amount of small dinner parties and certainly enjoy the cooking and company in my warm and fuzzy home. It is post-autumn, the temperatures catfight between lower 40s and upper 60s, and it's triggering my sinuses. I have not given sufficient attention to some deserving friends (Rachel, Aimee, Levi, James, Josh, to name a few) and I do feel badly about that. My excuses are valid, fighting this headcold off and my poor sprained ankle which was given me by that boy at the dance party trying to kiss me (bag of peas, flickr). He was unsuccessful, btw. Both are waring off though, and I will try harder to maintain those relationships. In the meantime is my birthday party so I hope you (a general population you) will make it out. A good excuse to dress 1950s cocktail, dance, drink wine, and eat cake that a sweet old lady named Betty is baking. She apparently bakes glorious cakes; you don't want to miss out.
So I have only known of a couple songs about me ever. (alright, so a couple written about me, a couple just for my namesake) and I've found a new one which you can find
Floating above the scene as still as a figurine Expressionless, so serene, but I know what makes you scream So don’t you run out of steam – I know you, Colleen It’s been all messed up since the very beginning But you act so tough, people think that you’re winning And everyone wants something from Colleen
Yeah I do act tough and yeah everyone wants something from me! Everyone is certainly an exaggeration, there are people who could not care less and for the most part I am okay with that?
</rant> Some exciting things in my life as of late. ATL was last entry. Robot invasions, and being GOLD. Thanksgiving potluck and bluegrass show at Paul and Robin's. Sloane took me to Feist at the Ryman, so so beautiful. My third concert there, following Sufjan and Interpol, and certainly not disappointing in the least. Thanksgiving in Asheville, NC: knitting by the fireplace at the tea room, drive around Biltmore, & of course the Hallimans. Going to a cocktail party at a castle in the mountains where I met the man whose grandfather INVENTED and PATENTED door hinges in Brooklyn(do you have any idea how many people use those things?! Like... everyone). Texas, my first "Grownup trip" where they bought my plane ticket, meals and hotel. Yes, I sure did feel grownup. The Christmas Neiman Marcus parade in Dallas! Which I mostly missed due to conversations. NYC isn't working out before Christmas, but I'm not in town enough to leave town it seems. (so many good christmas parties coming up, so many!) Possibly for new years, who knows where and with whom I will spend that! But I will have a sufficient amount of time in Buffalo around Christmas, so hello to that. Melissa seriously. You have disappeared, and it's not cool. We're completely behind on eachother's lives and there is no excuse. I bet you aren't even READING this!
There have been handfuls of new/ more marraiges, engagements, pregnancies, and births since my last update. Congrats y'all. I can sadly still claim none of these. I do enjoy my time grocery shopping and singing along to the Christmas music. Or just at home singing. I take walks through the village several times a week, usually singing. Completely unrelated to the previous statement. But it is my blog and does not have to be coherent to you, so I will not apologise. (but thx for reading, I need the validation!!!777)
I'm working on some pieces for an opening in January. I'm not having much luck. But here is a photo of me with the screen. I'm glad you can see the screen. Such a photog.
Letters and packages in the mail. Thankyou to everyone. Thankyou, & goodnight.
When I see someone like this (mind you, not orlando, we're talking realistic scale) I find them irressistable. No honestly, I seriously can't resist a moustache (/beard)? Like, almost nothing else matters? Missa is basically the only girl who really understands it. I cried when moustache may ended. But it is again the year of whiskerino... I'm counting the months.
One full week. And what a week it has been. I went out of town yesterday, let me tell you, 12 hours in a car with four people eating cheetos and dq blizzards and snacky snacks, well, fun times. I accidentally got some cayenne pepper on/in? my nose... and turned bright red and burning for a good 20 minutes. Ows! I am premixing from now on, learned my lesson! I have started brushing my teeth several times a day with baking soda because of the effects of the lemony acid on my enamel. Tastes good. Not fr reals. I did core power fusion yoga today (special class) and it was inTENTS. In that two hours I lost 3 lbs. heyohh. I have decided to go from this detox to Anne Louise Gittleman's Fast Track Detox, which is an 11 day, but has only one day of juice fast. I believe it is all raw food, and nuts, primarily. It will help foundation my healthy eating habits. Still contemplating vegetarianism, and ultimately veganism, but don't know that I am ready to commit. I am just not 100% convicted on it (yet). My mind has been quite clear, and I've been doing more thinking and writing. Still sleeping more than normal. Trying to really get my life together. It's important to evaluate things often enough, to make sure I am having a positive impact on myself and others. And, obviously, the world as a whole. I'm glad Paris went back to jail.
(just waiting for my tongue to go back to pink!! toxins get outttt)
I'm onto day five, feeling good. My dreams are either a. my closest friends and family getting brutally murdered or b. me eating food, and feeling really guilty for quitting. I don't know which is worse. jk, it's probably a. It's difficult when you have a roommate cooking wonderfully yummy smelling foods throughout the day, and your office is near the cafeteria. I almost killed it on her couscous yesterday morning. My tummy growls have gone away and I'm not so much hungry, as occassionally craving food. You just want what you can't have, you know? It's become more and more apparent to me how much of a social thing food is, rather than a neccessity. Also, I spent two nights in this week. I never spend the night at home, unless I have 15 hours of work to do. I did a lot of laying in bed (lack of energy) thinking about love and life, life and love. Did a little writing but mostly thinking and putting thoughts together. They say your mind is clearer and more open to "enlightenment" on this. Last night I read half of the "master cleanse" book (by stanley burroughs) as I have not yet read it in full. I'm actually feeling quite inspired to become a full vegetarian. I don't know. I don't think I can give up fish. I couldn't do vegan, not in the south, although I do sub soy for milk and applesauce for eggs. I would still eat a cookie if it was around though. One day at a time. That makes it more doable. I started out using Grade A syrup because it was on sale, and switched back to grade B (much more expensive) today. It tastes much better, less sweet, and has more minerals. I have lost 5 or 6 pounds and an inch and a half on my belly. Maybe that will come back, maybe not. If I could eat anything right now? It would be some macadameia nuts, and pumpkin bisque. Oh yeah, my tongue is this icky yellow white colour. It will supposedly come back to pink in another 5-7 days.
I've been playing with my octomat lately, but here's a picture of me from the quad.
I'm back on the cleanse. This time will last longer, I'm sure. I preplanned two weeks in advance for the date I would start, and over the weekend ate most of the things I knew I'd crave (sushi, ice cream, hummus, etc). I started last night so I've just passed 24 hours. My tummy growled here and there loudly throughout the day, but not bad. I had a very emotional day, everything has been stressful at work, the gallery, freelance, friends, family... but other than that I'm okay. I did hot yoga tonight and was fine, though my balance was really off. I feel that I know more of what to expect, and so the first day was not so bad. I mean, except for when I was asked to Which Wich and to eat on the rooftop. Oh, and I created a checklist in excel to kindof, track my drinking and progress (I took weight and measurmnt) which is really helping.
Anyhow, weekend was fun, moustaches in town, though out with June. I got everyone to do the delicate lil hand pose. stache baby!
I feel great. I have more energy to work outside of the office, sew, get ready for the craft fair and all that. People are saying I look more life-like again. I got fresh organic high pulp oj and have been mixing it with purified water. I ate granola three times, serving size about 2/3 cup each time and with a small amount of low-fat soy milk. It felt sooo yummy in my mouth, but once it hit my tummy that was it. When it came out it seriously looked exactly as it had before it went into my body. Every time. Food is disgusting. I skipped the veggie soup and screwed that one up! So if you do this cleanse make sure you just eat fresh veggie soup after the oj, nothing else! I’m going to stick to liquids for now, I have been drinking a whole lot of water. But this means I can have ANY liquid I want to, technically! I’m going to stay away from gatorade and anything with sugar (I got my immune builder smoothie sans turbinado, as always) but I am totally into tea and organic juices, although they are a little heavy for me right now so I will continue to dilute them. I may try soup (or even a salad) tomorrow for lunch, since I am going to the Frist on my break. Oh and day 3ish of the cleanse, my face started to break out for a couple days, in the way it does after you get a facial. Just more of the toxins coming to the surface I think. Mucous is also still leaving my body. Gross, I know, but it is. I bet this is having a major positive affect on my allergies, everyone has been getting so sick from this crazy pollen right now, people who have never had allergies, and I’ve been FINE (normally I get deathly sick). When I did hot yoga yesterday for 90 minutes I felt amazing. I sweat a whole lot lot, a bit more than usual, probably just from the additional amount of liquid. I did it for 90 minutes today and felt good, but got hungry since I hadn't eaten all day. I went out and got a bunch of organic products, butternut sq and tomato soups, etc. I came home and ate 7 tortilla chips & salsa. But the tortilla chips were organic!! ha. Regretting it, but I'm going to eat a grapefruit & have tea before bed tonight. But guess what, the cleanse broke my coffee addiction! I will still drink coffee and soy lattees on occasion, but 50% of the time (which my coffee drinking was at least 6 days a week) will be replaced with fruit/ water/ tea. The cleanse gives most people more energy and feel more awake, but it honestly had the reverse affect on me. I wanted to sleep more, and had no motivation. Amber is still on the cleanse but I notised she bought lots of soy milk, organic oj, and some food too. I wonder how much longer she will go. [[My car died in rush hour after work, and it died before I could put hazard lights on or move over to the right lane. So there I was in the middle of it all in my dress, hood popped, no cell phone to speak of. I pulled through, but barely, and it was quite scary. I keep putting hundreds of dollars into repairs, still need a new alternator and axle possibly breaks, battery (new!) popped out wires broke, smoking. But it is my first car still. I guess I should go test driving.]]
This morning was real easy. Then I went out of town. Not so easy. I feel cleansed. And not eating is for anorexic chix and dudes. Lyke scenestrs. I just dont have the energy to workout or do my hot yoga. PRIORITIES!! Senna leaf is pretty tight though. Oh my gosh, me & puns. So funny! Right, right right???? I ran out of the grade b organic maple syrup. And I already spent almost 20 bucks just on that jazz. And the lms. I don't know, maybe after all the weddings & travel I can afford to buy only organic. I lost count of how many there are, again. Added together it's less than 20. Buddytown, april foolz! Love it. Updating is lj is exhausting.
...so glad it is over. I don't want to do this for ten days! I feel cleansed and hungry. I did better with the salt water today but it is still so disgusting to drink. My tummy has been grumbling and I've been craving certain foods but I guess I'm good. I haven't lost any weight but I can see the toxins and mucus coming out. I didn't work out again today cos I was too tired but I did take a couple mile walk so that's better than nothing. There was an amazing looking cheese pizze and carrot cake at work today, I tried not to look. Amber got some herbs for colin cleanses and stuff, I guess we're doing them next week. I feel more tired than energized. Except for mornings, since I have been sleeping better. Though processed foods still sound/ smell appealing to me, I know it would feel disgusting to eat. I am so excited for veggies, I don't even care about oj. But I'm trying not to skip that far ahead!! I'm exhausted, time for bed.
Maybe you shouldn’t read my entries if you don’t want to be grossed out. Just if you’re interested. I’m not writing about spring break and making out and the new shins album. Those entries are “friends only” haha... jay kay circa 2001. I woke up at 5am with the worst cramps ever. I wanted to either die, or eat. I stuck it out and 45 minutes later I felt better and figured since I was up I should just go to yoga. I didn’t, I went back to sleep for another 2 hours. I must say I slept fairly soundly last night, better than normal. Today, I fluctuate having energy and wanting to nap, but I’m doing okay. My tummy has growled a couple times but I don’t really feel hungry. I just seriously want some food. LIKE CREPES and bananas! Or.. sushi, or freaking las palmas! Oh my gosh smoothie king... Holy mother of raspberry delight goodness. But no. I drank the salt with 22oz of water this time. It tasted better, but took over an hour to drink. Also, now that there are no traces of food in my system I’m watching cayenne pepper leave my body. That’s kindof funny. Whoever compared going number two to a faucet is onto something. Obviously there’s no solid to come out. Headaches are bad but temper throughout the day. I have a goal weight but I am not going to lose 20 lbs from this. So it’s more like, my end of summer goal or something. I ain’t no beyonce. I got to Vanderbilt early for dance class(es) and decided to lay down on some grass with my iSh. I accidentally slept through all two hours of class... seriously. First I was awoken by a creepy homelessman who wouldn't leave me alone, and then by a police. Both thought I was dead. My tummy is so hungry right now. I kindof just want to sleep so I'm not hungry. I don't feel very motivated. But I do feel very guilty for not working out today. I will try to do a little yoga tonight before bed. What I wouldn't do for a bowl of tomato soup. I'm going to drink some water. YUM! PS Ashlee didn't feel good after 8 days of this nor did she lose weight. How discouraging.
I’m starting S. Burroughs Master Cleanse and as I have full intentions of doing this successfully, (positive attitude a must!) have decided to journal my progress. I want to do this to really get rid of the nasty toxins in my body and start fresh. Yesterday was my last day of eating, I had a veggie burrito, tomato soup, cup of coffee, 10 glasses of water, then half a bottle of wine atop love circle where I learned some tae kwon do. (No coffee or alcohol from now on!) I also did hot yoga for 90 minutes. This morning I accidentally drank only 12 oz of water with the 2tsp of salt, instead of 32 oz of water. Oops, it was so disgusting I thought I was going to vomit. Am getting used to the “lemonade”. Headaches, probably due to lack of coffee, and my body feels tingly. But it’s only day one, I could be making that up. My car wouldn't start after work and after calling many people for help, I got frustrated and cranky til Josh came and jumped car. I was crankier than I normally would have been I think. Did hot yoga for 60 minutes tonight. My sweat smelled kindof like lemons, normally it doesn't smell. The guy downstairs was cooking tonight and it made me real hungry. I feel okay, but very tired. I'm watching some EXTRAS with Amber and Neal before bed. I'm going to skip 6am yoga cos I have a meeting at work early and I want to be bright and chipper for it.
Here's a picture of all our organic lemons, and then my monitors at work with the yellow roses in a "happy spring!" cup and my "lemonade" filled voss bottle. And my ugly doll.
2006 was spent living in Tennessee. I started out the year working as art director at zambooie.com, which quickly ended. I met Cadence that day and decided that yes, the posters were right "I hate Cadence" (later realised the opp.) Days later I started ministry school which later led to my licensing and becomming art director at The Anchor, curating lots of art shows, tutoring children, teaching art classes in Ireland, making lots of friends in London, moving several times, being homeless (again) though not for too long. I got back into fine arts and within just months of creating and selling textile pieces, signed a contract to a great new gallery in the Gulch. Travelled here and there, drove up to Seattle and to Montreal. Made a lot of friends and contacts. Did more psychological studies for money. Worked at a local coffee shop. Worked for two marketing companies. Freelanced design. Worked at a salon. Had a lot of job interviews. Denied a lot of people on myspace. Saw a meteor shower. Drove several hours to the mountains to watch fireflies mate. Fell in love with parcheesi, and back in love with scrabble. Had a lot of dinner parties, and went to a lot. Lots of fashion shows, art openings, martini parties, kittens in Asheville. Had an amazing birthday. Got a design job with a publishing house and did my first real negotiating over salary (at least, first successfully). Applied for my masters in London, didn't send it in. Went to a dozen weddings and one funeral. Cried less times than I can count on one hand. Got a new best friend. Started and read the first halves of dozens of books. Drank a lot of black coffee. Learned to like NPR. Had a makeover on my heart. Saw a lot of beauty.
I don't know whether to find this humourous or pathetic, but I was thinking about it and I have been to more friends weddings in the past 2 months than on dates. Like six. No, vI don't think I have been on that many dates. Ridiculous. But happy to see my friends so happy and beautiful. Autumn has set in here, bonfires and hoodies. I find myself wanting to stay in more, or just do one on ones rather than big parties all the time. I'm anxious to be elsewhere though I am still in love with Nashville. I drove across the country and stuff. I want to do it at least once a year now, and I will probalby return to Seattle in January to drive back here again. Since helping at the orphanage in India is not going to happen that month anymore. I'm working on this design for a social networking site with the starter of the starter of friendster. It's killer. As in, major design nerd block. I have done a bajillion sketches and it is just not working out. I should have another show coming up in the Gulch, I meet to talk about it more in a few days. I was supposed to have 20 to 30 pieces for October. The problem is I don't have that many, and I sold most of what I had done. I need to bust some serious sewing machine. I am still dirt poor but if this goes well, and another possible venture with publishing house things could look up. Like health insurance looking up. Maybe. I think the lightnight bugs are starting to hibernate. It's time for a trip up to love circle. I ended up staying in town this weekend.. go figure... it feels ages and I thought it would be good for me. Considering I have so many pieces to create! Back to that.
Busy busy. Things have been amazing still, new visitors from out of town/state/country every weekend. Our home has become somewhat of a "halfway house" for third roommates and the like. It keeps life real. Art is picking up, I am creating a lot and kind of selling a little. Website should be up soon? Hoping? Lots of trips in the planning process, and not far off. I am so excited to drive across the country, always wanted to. Seattle (and stops along the way) here I come, just in time before Wijtze returns to Holland. Then up up north for Halloween. It doesn't look like I will be making Buffalo this fall, and chances for Christmas may be slim now... but I'm definitely going to make it before "the move" next may.. if that happens. More trips but I need to sell more art first. Weddings! There have been so many and there are so many more. They are all so beautiful. Last night was 1940s hollywood theme, black and white with hints of red. It was fun to see everyone participate, and to have a nontraditional wedding, not in a church. If I ever get married, I want to wed late at night too. Unfort a lot of people tried to sneak into the wedding or whatever, but Lalie took care of business. Now Joseph and I have to find 1950s prom attire for the next wedding. And I still need a pink dress for Marias wedding. Tomorrow night I am throwing a rainbow and unicorn party for James & Jessies going away. And I forgot that I have to work the Destroy Destroy Destroy show. I think there will be large plastic swords. I worked the block party over the weekend and ran smack dang into DJ Jazzy Jeff. Remember him?! And uh everyones all "daang you see dat cd? yeah dats me" ...thanks. I'll listen to it now. Cos everyone in Nashville is famous. Except I'm like the only person who hasn't met Jack White yet. What the heck. I'm going to the Virgin Islands to stay in one of Kenny Chesneys mansions. All I have to do is buy a ticket and be Cadence's seamstress for a week. I'm sure you'd rather see a picture update of Paris and Banksy instead of me.
Life never slows down, and my head is spinning from the last test I just took at Vanderbilt. I had cameras trained to my retinas, it was interesting. I thought it was hard but the man said "Wow, you did kickass!" But don't I always put forth kickass effort into all that I do? The HEAT Untitled Summer show went amazingly. Throughout the night we estimated some 800 people at the opening. My piece did not sell but it was much much talked about by a variety of people I knew and did not know. I am working on setting up more art shows for some local artists, and working on another experimental piece for the glow show, which is in like a MONTH! That is at Bar Car. I was going to go help out at hurricane katrina for 5 days but unfortunately it's during the opening and I really really want to go, but I have to prioritise. I can go next time. Also all these metal bands have been emailing asking me to book them. I DONT BOOK METAL BANDS! If you do something else I'll book you, MAYBE. But not metal. I don't have anything against metal but I've worked like 50 metal shows in 2006 (exaggeration, I think) and that's not what I do anyways.
Freelance may be picking up. I had a third job interview today, and right now they are running a background check. I was in North Carolina again this weekend, which was glorious. For a special birthday. Tuesday night, I drove 5 hours east with two cars of friends for an amazing hike up into the smokies. 11 consecutive days of the year, in two places (this spot in the smokies and some other country) the fireflies mate. It is absolutely incredible. They blink in large quantities, on (together) for 4 seconds. Blackness for 8 seconds. Four more blinks.. repeat. It was beautiful, and we had so much fun being lost in the woods and finding old shacks and haunted ghost girlies. Being in the sex pool. There is much to look forward to these days, and I enjoy each & every day. Possibly Chicago, then I'm in the Platos Closet fashion show next week, some fun freelance projects, Witze visits from Holland, Erica visits from LA, Brooklyn in a couple weeks with the boys, the Sacer fashion show, I think the list could go on and on.. so I'll stop. Really. My mom said she misses me, that is so cute, seeing as I just saw her 2 months ago. But I miss her too. I had a great day so I treated myself to some tofu I'd been saving in the frig! Now back to work. Loves.
My life is a movie, it really is. Or an unbelieveable dream. Anyways, it's nice that I can come to NY and be able to walk away from it all and let go and live my real life again back in Nashville. Cos it's the same me whichever country or state I'm in, just a different life, different situation. I just don't want to be homeless anymore. I want to live in a house or apartment and I want to stay there for more than 3 months. Impossible, I know. I want too much, I am so selfish sometimes. Stability, yeah right. I'm breathing, life is brilliant. Also I think that maybe I have too many secrets and not enough people to tell. Not big life shattering secrets, just funny ones. I want just one best friend who wants to be only best friends so we can tell each other everything and hangout like everyday, instead of a different person every hour.
PS old entry, you were very proximal with your grandfather, yes? [16 Apr 2006|03:12pm] I'm currently watching Everything is Illuminated. Don't yell at me, I'm halfway through the book and I enjoy J Safran Foers writing style immensely, but I'm not following the plot very well. So I think this will help me along. The film is wonderful as well, with a different vibe, more dynamic than my imagination followed with the reading. We're eating the candy Missa bought for her boyfriends easter basket. It's almost empty minus the stuffed animal cos we've been eating it all weekend! It's easter, another holiday away from ny, which is fine really. It's been lovely so far. Stepping off the plane from Europe meant bye bye 30 degree weather, hello mid 80s and summer dresses everyday. I do love running around barefoot, and sunglasses. And celebrities running round with their precious babies. Yesterday some boys stopped me a lot and asked me to jump their car. I did, because all four of them had grills. Soooo hot. You can get individual teeth ones at Lee's hair and dollar. This summer brings a lot. I found the dream house but need one more roommate for it. Premium location, at Acklen and 21st! I'm going to be very involved with the Anchor, the arts, sewings, kids, and probably swimming at fall creek falls. It will be busy it will be grand.
Bay windows in London. Love it here, thought a possible move was in the works but it's not going to be, not in the next few months. More details for the future are unraveling and I'm inspired and excited. Maybe Germany, maybe Australia by the end of the year. We left the paramilitary in Ireland, with the sheep, and a Brit spy for Sinn Fein was cut into pieces on Tuesday. I spent some time at CS Lewiss house which was beautiful, and I touched the keys of his typewriter. Incredible. The hills were green. Made many relationships, held crying people, and taught some art. Had a couple sips of a pint but that was grosss, but you have to in Belfast. Slipping in and out of yankee, redneck, and various uk accents is very amusing. Made an adorable little Japanese friend named Taeko. Spending lots of time in beautiful places with many people. You know, 6am mornings and 1am nights. Just enough, not enough. There's a lot of depth to me that I don't believe LJ deserves, so here is a picture. Ask me if you care and you may get pieces of the deep blue sea. Oh, and all of my myspace friends are my friends in real life, and were first. Adam made me a present of a milk and cornflake pop. How sweet.
I'm ready to have beautiful weather, dresses and flats all day every day, no chill, Nashville.. see you soon baby. Melissa is moving over for a bit and she will fall in love. Everyone does with music city. ohhhdeh.
I was brushing my bangs this morning when something fellout of the brush and onto my shirt. I looked down, into the eyes of a giant COCKROACH! They're all over the apt. I'm at Bobby's playing with his Kaoss Pad, it is soo dancey and soo fun! I need one. I mean right now I can't afford underwear or socks (so I usually don't really wear them to solve that problem) but.. we can all dream. I came across some layouts I did for gaywerewolf a couple seasons ago, cut and pasted some parts together to share you. Then I threw in some lyrics of course, so we can play the game.
Last weeks winner was Charlie. Thanks baby. Cockroaches, we supply the apartment with sugar and borax. I have moved 6 times in the past year. Moving again in April. Til then, Vietnam is out, Dublin is maybe, London is yesyes. Possibilities. Attacks. Internal bleeding. My head has begun to pound these past few days but I'm blessed and that is that. Play again? (I won at twister. Now you win at my game..)
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