Title:  I Need Sunshine 9/?

Rating: FRAO for oral sex, language, violence

Pairing: Morgan/Reid, but mentions of Garcia/Kevin & Hotch/JJ

Summary: Derek and Spencer find that caring for someone doesn’t make everything work out. Lizzie Rossi cracks ‘The Urban Legend Killer’ case.

Beta: None. Ah well. All mistakes are mine.

ConCrit:  Better than watching Reid suck on a lollipop (and that was pretty darned good)

SPOILERS:  Some canon from all seasons. Many illusions to season 2 and season 4, mostly.

~~~

Disclaimer:  I don’t own any rights or trademarks to Criminal Minds, the FBI, CBS or any of the characters within.  No infringements of these copyrights are intended.  Any similarities between original characters therein are a coincidence.  I make no profit from the following fictional story.  (Fictional, maybe, but I swear this happened all in my head).

~~~

9:25pm at the Holiday Inn in Tucson, AZ

Agent Derek Morgan

“Get some sleep everyone,” Hotch says as we get off the elevator on our floor. “Catch up on what we lost last night.”

“You won’t have to ask me twice,” JJ says, fishing in her purse for her room key.

I watch Reid wordlessly disappear into his room before going into mine. I instantly go to the bathroom and run cold water into my hands and splash my face. It’s been a long day of leg work and paper work. Not to mention the realization that we are running low on clothes in our go-bags and required a stop at the local mall to pick up a few things. I turn around to run a cold shower and silently pray Reid doesn’t come over tonight. I think my avoidance of him would have dropped the hint, although knowing him he’s going to want to come over and talk about it. I shed my clothes and step under the spray of cool water, willing it to wash away Reid’s voice.

Toby, I’m sorry. I was high, I was high.

I don’t know what to think.

Reid was thrashing around in the midst of a nightmare, repeating it over and over again. It’s possible he was just having a nightmare, but what if there’s some truth to the babble? Does that mean he was high in Deep Lake? How? With what?

Morphine you idiot.

There was morphine there, he was the one who gave it to you. While you were passed out with your broken arm he was shooting up. That’s why he was acting strange when the shit hit the fan, that’s why after he killed the unsub in the woods he just sat in the snow. He was high. The unsub got the jump on him because he was high.

I don’t realize I’m crying until I feel the hot tears mix with the cold water on my face. He’s been through so much in his life that using drugs is pretty much the only thing that makes sense. Absent father, sick mother, the torment of not only his peers but of all the adults around him. Closeted sexuality, people close to him leaving, and being forced to pick someone to be murdered in front of him. Drugged, tortured, killed and brought back to life. Watching his boyfriend raped and murdered. Being raped, crippled both physically and emotionally, and barely being able to breathe from it all and yet he goes on. He stupidly enters into a relationship with me, which can’t be a good idea on any real level. I’m not sure I can give him what he needs. I can try, but if I fail he’ll shatter, and I can’t be responsible for that.

I turn off the water to hear my room phone ringing. Towel around my waist, I go to answer. “Hello?”

“Derek?”

Dammit. “Hi Reid, something break in the case?”

“I came over, but you didn’t answer.”

“I was in the shower.” I lay down on my back on the bed. “I’m fine.”

“Can I come over?”

His voice is desperate, needy, and small. I should say no, I should come clean about how he spoke in his sleep and how I know he was high in Deep Lake, but I don’t know what that would do. He’ll think I’m judging him. He’ll feel weak compared to me. I don’t want him to think I pity him. But then again, maybe I do. “What about the rules?”

“Call me a rebel.”

I bite my lip. “Yeah Spence, come over.”

I hang up and have just enough time to slip on a pair of boxers and a gym shirt before there’s a knock at my door. I open it to see Spencer has changed into sleeping clothes, messenger bag slung over his shoulder. “Hi.”

I let him in. “What’s the bag for?”

“Gun, badge, phone, things. Just in case,” he slips it off onto one of the beds and turns around to wrap his arms around my neck and pull me into a kiss.

He’s eager and hot against my mouth. I open my mouth open wide to let him in. Our tongues clash together almost too hard and I can taste his last cup of coffee. I card into his hair and hold the back of his head in my hands. For someone who is new to this whole gay thing, I’d like to think I’m pretty good at kissing Dr. Spencer Reid. His kisses are always so open and wanting, like he’s trying to prove himself in each one. In a way, I am too.

I gently guide us to the bed, settling down side by side. He keeps his mouth locked onto mine and grinds his entire body against me. I venture a hand to his hip to keep him close. It’s angled and sharp and he only flinches a little at the touch but he doesn’t stop. If anything his kisses get dirtier. He sucks on my tongue and moans into my mouth and practically begins to hump my leg. I venture a hand around towards his crotch when he pauses.

“I want to,” he pleads in my ear.

“You’re not ready,” I reply, cupping his cheek.

He looks into my eyes and nods. “What do you want?”

I want to erase the last five years of your life. I want your mother to be well and your father to love you. I want you to never have another bad dream, and I want you to forget the ones you’ve had. I want you to be out there in some lab curing cancer or proving String Theory. I want to accidentally bump into you at a coffee shop and not know who you are, not matter how much it hurts not to have you in my life. Because I want you to be everything you should have been. But I can’t have that. So I will make you feel loved, happy, safe, sexy and wanted. “I want to suck you.”

“Aaaa…are you sure? You haven’t done it before, it’s an acquired thing,” he mutters.

“Then I want to acquire it,” I say, shimmying down the bed. I roll him onto his back. “I’m never going to learn if I don’t practice.”

Gently push his shirt up underneath his chin, I place a kiss on his still-healing tattoo before licking a trail towards the elastic of his sweatpants. As he reaches up to turn off the lamp and leave us in the dark, I slide his sweatpants and boxers off in one fluid motion.

I can’t see it in the dark, so when I move back to my previous position his erection smacks me in the cheek. It’s bigger than I thought, much too big for my mouth. I grasp the base of his shaft with my hand and lower my mouth into him. He flinches at first and I want to ask him what’s wrong but then I realize it’s because I forgot to cover my teeth. Making the adjustment, I try again. His flesh tastes hot and thick and spongy under my tongue and I’m not quite sure I like it. This isn’t about you Derek I remind myself as I begin to hollow my cheeks.

I hear a slight moan escape his lips and I feel encouraged. I hollow my cheeks a little more and keep bobbing my head. A few times my lips slip and scrape teeth against his shaft, which I eagerly correct. Then a bitter taste hits the back of my throat and I pull off of him. “Did you…?”

“No,” he pants. “It’s uhm…pre-cum.”

“Okay,” I say, feeling extremely embarrassed. I’ve seen my own, I should have known that would happen. Shit, I am a poor excuse for a gay man. I pull his cock back into my mouth, trying very hard not to let my teeth slip and doing a terrible job. After what seems like eternity my cheeks begin to hurt and the taste in my mouth fouls my own erection.

“Derek, Derek…” Spencer sits up. “It’s okay, you don’t have to keep doing this.”

I roll over onto my back, mouth sore, chin and lips spit-slick and my heart broken. “I can’t believe I couldn’t.”

“This is the first time you’ve attempted fellatio. Were you successful your first time with a woman?” He sits up and finds his pants on the floor, pulling them on before crawling back in bed with me.

“If you’re asking me if Cora Stevenson came, I bet not.” I sigh, resting my head on his chest and feeling worthless. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll learn. My first time giving oral sex was a disaster. Teeth and gagging and a very frustrated neighbor just telling me to stop and bend over,” he snickers.

“Don’t you want to…” I gesture to his crotch. “I mean, you were aroused right?”

“I’m fine,” Spencer yawns. “I’m exhausted. Let’s just get some sleep.”

“I’ll take a class or something,” I say, feeling like I have to somehow make up for this blowjob disaster. “I could go online and I’m sure someone has a how-to website or something. I love you and I want to make you feel good.”

After a long pause, his sleep whisper fills the room. “You make me feel like I’m worth fighting for.”

I squeeze him a little tighter. That might as be as close to an ‘I love you’ as I’m going to get from him, and I’ll take it.

~~~~~

11:15pm at George Rossi’s house in Tucson, AZ

Lizzie Rossi packs her things. She takes the important stuff and tosses it into two large duffel bags. Then she sits and waits. Waits for the sound of footsteps on the stairs, indicating her father is going to bed. She listens for the sound of the door opening and closing downstairs, telling her that her Uncle Dave left for the hotel. Once she’s sure her father is locked in his room—something he does when he’s upset—she grabs her bags and flees the house.

Once inside her car, she finds her secret stash of one-hundred dollars in cash, taped into an envelope underneath the driver’s seat for roadside emergencies. She double-checks that she has her bank card and checkbook before driving away. She’ll go to an ATM tonight and take out as much cash as she can. In the morning, Uncle Rossi will surely have that tech girl track her accounts and she needs the money to get somewhere.

Anywhere else but Tucson.

She’s already six blocks away when her cell phone rings. “Hello?”

“Liz, babe.” Brian’s voice fills her ear. “How are you doing?”

“We don’t talk for what, two days?, and now you care about how I’m doing?” She stops at a red light. “What the fuck is your deal?”

“I was trying to lay low. Your Uncle’s team seems not to like me very much and I didn’t feel like getting arrested just for being around you. Look, Lizzie, I want to see you. I miss you baby.”

She hits the accelerator when the light turns green. “Where?”

“I’m at home, my car is in the shop. Someone cut my break lines. Your Uncle have anything to do with that? Or that Reid guy?”

Inside, Lizzie knows she should just keep driving. She doesn’t even like Brian anymore. “I can pick you up in five minutes,” she finds herself saying before hanging up in frustration.

~

Fifteen minutes later

“Why here?” Lizzie complains, now sitting in the passenger seat of her own car as Brian parked her car in a small little clearing amidst the only ‘wooded’ area for miles.

“This is where we had our first date,” Brian says, turning to face her. “Elizabeth Rossi, I love you.”

Lizzie bites her lip. Is he going to propose to me? He better not. “Brian…please don’t.”

“I want to be with you, Liz. Baby…” he begins to plead in that pathetic way he does when he wants sex or a turkey sandwich. He pulls a small box out of his pocket. It opens to reveal a modest diamond ring. I can’t believe this shit Lizzie thinks to herself. “Lizzie, will you marry me?”

“I don’t love you,” she pulls away and begins to cry. “Before Andrea died, I was going to break up with you. I’ve been seeing someone else.”

“You’ve been fucking cheating on me?” he shouts.

“I haven’t slept with him or even kissed him yet.” She wipes the tears from her face. “I told him I wanted to but I had to break up with you first. And now…now he’s dead. Gary’s dead.”

“Gary Doyle, that fucking nerd I kept seeing you eat lunch with? You’re right, I’m gonna fucking kill him!”

“No, Brian, the killer. The same one that got Andrea, killed him while he was babysitting…” Lizzie sniffles. “I just, I’m leaving town and I’m not coming back. I can’t be here anymore.”

He takes a deep breath. “The Babysitter Legend? Wow.”

“Let’s go, I need to get to a cash machine before my father knows I’m gone.” She sits up. “Come on.”

Brian opens his mouth but is interrupted by a loud THUMP on the roof of the car. Exchanging looks with Lizzie, he puts the keys in his pocket and opens the car door.

“Where are you going?” she asks nervously. Isn’t there an urban legend about a boyfriend and girlfriend at lover’s lane…

“I want to see what’s on the roof,” he gives her a smile laced with pain. She thinks he’s resigned to the fact they are no longer together. She lets herself feel sorry for him for just a moment before realizing…

It’s her. She’s the one the Urban Legend Killer is after.

“BRIAN NO!” She screams after him, but he’s already left the car and closed the door behind him.

He turns around and pulls something off the roof. “See Liz?” He’s hold a tree branch in his hand. “It’s just a branch.”

She sighs and turns back into her seat. Lizzie just wants to leave this town. She wants to drive and drive and end up somewhere else. Maybe she’ll go to DC. She can ask Spencer Reid for help until she gets a job and a place. He won’t tell Uncle Dave…

Her thoughts are interrupted by a loud BANG. In front of her, Brian is being shoved onto the hood of the car. He’s bleeding and struggling with a person dressed head-to-toe in black with a black ski mask. Lizzie’s heart starts pounding and she reaches for her cell phone.

She doesn’t get a chance to dial.