I'd like to, but I believe that polyamory is a more viable option.  To expect that only one human being can give you everything you need in a relationship is ridiculous.

These days since I'm unemployed I least look forward to the weekend.  Why?  Because my parents start bugging me about what I did that week to find a job--and I'm not slacking, I send out a good 25 resumes a week but NOBODY IS HIRING!  My favorite day?  Wednesday.  Why?  GHOST HUNTERS!

Government proof of the existence of aliens, duh!

It's a song by Ani Difranco:  Your Next Bold Move.  I like the idea behind the song and how instead of blaming the higher-ups the whole time she brings it back and says, what are YOU going to do about it?  Its a shame her politics flew out of her vagina when she had her baby and now she's a mumbling innaccurate twit...but her old stuff was pretty good.

Loch Ness.  Now, I'm not sure I buy that there is a plesiosaur in the lake, but the very power of belief makes it a magical place, don't you think?  So many people the world over want to believe that something mystical resides under that glassy surface, that alone is worth knowing about.  I want to dip my toes in the water, a sort of baptism if you will.  I want to wash in that belief, I want to understand it and hear it, even if I don't buy it.  I want to share in that hope of something unknown, something more powerful that I am, than we are.  It's an experience that I want to have.

So the China job fell thru...

But I've decided to move back home to Minnesota!  Hooray!

I'll miss Montana, but it's time to go back home.

So I just got offered a job.  Teaching at a University.

In China.

There are so many good reasons to go but just the thought of leaving makes me want to cry--tears of fear and sadness.  I'm not at all excited about leaving.  I haven't accepted it yet but I'd pretty much have to tonight.  I'd leave in three weeks.

I really should take the job, I need a job.  And it's China, friggin' hell!  How cool to live in China for a whole year?  But it scares me, I don't know anyone and I really really really don't want to leave...

I'm pretty sure I'm not going to take it.  But still I want to...maybe I'm just so depressed these days that I can't see the benefit of going.

X-Files was one of my favorite shows of all time, I adored that show.  One of my favorite episodes was Bad Blood--the one with Luke Wilson as the vampire sherrif and the whole town were vampires...I also loved Triangle--actually all of seasons 5 and 7, they were some of the best cases and writing the show ever had.

As for my paranormal experiences?  I had my first encounter with a ghost when I was 8, my father was a paranormal investigator and I've been researching and investigating the paranormal for going on 15 years now.  So yea, I've experienced a ton of paranormal activity...

Today was the most productive day I've had since I've been unemployed.

I cleaned out my room--threw away several trash bags of crap I didn't need.  Tomorrow I'm going through all my clothes and tossing the ripped/stained/otherwise unwearable crap I've been holding onto for way too long.  Hopefully I'll hear about a job!  Whoot!

I was watching old Penn & Teller Bullshit! episodes on my DVR today when I realized that I used to be a card-carrying member of the Skeptic movement.  I was all about calling bunk on things, until I realized that the Skeptic Movement is really nothing more than a cynics movement.

For example, take Penn & Teller.  They are hardcore into science and logic.  Okay, that's cool.  However, science is one of the most narrow-minded fields of study out there.  If it doesn't fit, it's not science.  For example, evolution is considered the only answer because it's the only one that fits into the predetermined (and very often static) rules of science.  I trust in evolution on a molecular level--biological entities on this planet evolved from other biological entities.  However, I'm also a believer in devolution and reincarnation--our spirits and souls come to meet our physical bodies at some point.  That doesn't fit into evolution, yet there is so much 'evidence' and so many experiences shared by others that I can't ignore just because it isn't 'science.'

I see the validity in all these different fields of study, but the skeptics movement doesn't say 'it isn't science but it happened,' they say 'it isn't science therefore it never really happened.'  I'm starting to see how ID'ers get frustrated with evolutionists--there is just such a complete lack of open-mindedness being perpetrated by those prominent in the skeptic field.

Sigh.  If I wasn't so tired I could write more and articulate my thoughts better but for now at least you know what's going on my mind.  I should crawl under the covers and get ready for a tradition fall weather pattern in Montana--80 degree days and 35 degree nights.  Ah loverly.

My first day being 24 wasn't too bad.

In celebration of Subliminal Communications Month, come up with your own message and a way to subliminally transmit it, then write about it.

So I'm gonna start doing these things when I feel the inspiration striking.  Today was my 24th birthday.  Meh.  I'm not big on birthdays--it seems so gratiutous. My friends took me to lunch, then tonight we made a cake and dinner and just acted silly.  Small affair, really sweet and nice.  My brother--whom I barely ever talk to--talked to me on the phone for almost a combined hour.  Now that we are both adultish (he's almost 21) I'm hoping we can establish some sort of relationship.

I guess that's what I want to communicate.  A want to be a sister to my little brother.  It's not that we are cruel to each other, we are just such different people.  So I'm going to think about him tonight while I meditate before bed (I've been trying that whole hue-ing thing...) and try to keep that vibration and frequency up.  I sort of subliminally communicated this to him by saying 'you better call me more often you little fucker.'

I think he got the message.