Empty - Saken

Title: Empty
Author: Kagome
Rating: NC-17
Pairing: Sakura/Ken
Fandom: L’Arc~en~Ciel (JRock)
Disclaimer: Real people involved, and nope, I don’t own them.
Summary: Sakura and Ken are slacking off at SOAP’s studio, and Sakura considers what it feels like to have to go home to an empty bed. This is pretty much just seven pages of fluff and smut, written for Mica-chan (taylormercury), and finished much later than I had planned on it being finished. >.< Gomen ne, Mica-chan. *Cuddles*



Empty


“Aren’t you supposed to be working on your drum solo?”

Sakura snapped out of his reverie and gazed tenderly at the man lying in his arms. “Mmm… yeah,” he replied, chuckling softly. “I should be working on that drum solo, just like you should be working on the lyrics to that song of yours. I think I reminded you of this about fifteen minutes ago, but you didn’t budge then, and I don’t think you’re budging now.”

Ken smiled, leaning up to press a chaste kiss to Sakura’s lips. “You’re right,” he admitted, sounding a little sheepish. “If someone was here to make me get to work, I’d do that, but it’s much more fun here with you, like this.”

“In other words, you’re being lazy,” Sakura supplied, tightening his hold on Ken just a little, knowing full-well that he himself was just as lazy – he should have been ashamed of himself, but truth be told, he simply wasn’t. It was very rare that he and Ken were able to share simple moments like this, and he figured it best to enjoy it, instead of ruining it by doing things that could always be done later.

“Not lazy,” Ken mumbled, burying his face between Sakura’s neck and shoulder. “I’m managing time wisely. I’ll work on the damn lyrics later, when I’m at home…” he trailed off, leaving out that one word that seemed so small and insignificant, and yet implied emptiness and an inescapable sense of loneliness. The word Ken had failed to tack onto the end of his sentence was ‘alone’.

Sakura knew that Ken hated going home at night. Sakura understood how it felt to curl up in bed at night without anyone – or anything – to hold on to. He knew what it felt like to be in the dark. When he was alone, darkness always felt like a room in itself, with four walls that constantly closed in on him until he was left gasping and nearly sobbing in the too-quiet bedroom, and hoping for daylight to arrive soon.

He knew Ken had to feel something similar, but he never asked. He never offered to stave off those lonely nights for the guitarist. He never offered to hold him in the darkest of nights, even when he himself knew that they both needed it. Perhaps it was pride that kept him from going over to Ken’s or inviting Ken over to his place to stay the night. Ken had asked him over, of course. Every single time, Sakura had said no.

And every single time, Sakura had watched that light in Ken’s eyes fade a little more.

Sakura hated the way he acted towards Ken sometimes – he hated how he made him frown and lapse into utter silence for hours at a time. He hated how he made tears appear in those gorgeous brown orbs, even though they were tears that Ken wouldn’t shed, because he was quite stubborn as well and apparently had the mindset that tears were a weakness of some sort.

Ken was quiet now, and Sakura knew he was mulling over what it would feel like to walk into his empty house and fall asleep in his empty bed. He hated that Ken’s thoughts would be so depressing – especially when they were spending time together – but Sakura also knew that Ken’s thoughts were partially his own fault. If only he could just offer to spend the night with Ken, just once… or if he could say ‘yes’ to Ken’s requests…

But Sakura wasn’t quite sure how to deal with a non-empty bed. Sleeping with someone – actually sleeping soundly while being held – was somewhat of a foreign concept to Sakura. He hadn’t trusted anyone enough to allow them to help him keep the darkness at bay, not for a very long time. He could trust Ken; he knew as much, but he didn’t know if he was ready to put himself out on that limb again.

He wanted to try, though. He wanted to try for Ken, and he wanted to try for himself.

“Ken-chan,” he said softly, running his fingers very gently over his lover’s hair.

Ken looked up, but didn’t say a word. The look in his eyes was unreadable, but Sakura knew that loneliness, pain, and also hope lurked behind the mask he was currently attempting to wear. Sakura could always see past Ken’s little disguises; he didn’t even know why Ken bothered to try hiding anymore. Ken wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Please don’t try to hide from me.” Sakura made sure to keep his tone soft and soothing, so as not to alarm Ken in any way. “I don’t like to see you like this, and I’m sorry that it’s partially my own fault.”

“I just don’t want to let you go is all,” Ken finally replied after several long moments of silence in which they simply gazed at one another, each searching the other’s eyes for… for what, exactly? Sakura wasn’t exactly sure. Resolution, perhaps? Redemption? Absolution?

Sakura knew the answer to this problem. He knew it just as well as anyone with a brain knew it. He only hated himself for his insecurities and his stubbornness. However, it was difficult for him to let someone help him – and for him to help someone else in turn – after seven years of trying to figure out things on his own.

He knew his feelings for Ken. He knew he loved him and that he could place that kind of trust in him, but it was hard. So very hard.

Finding forming words to be difficult, Sakura did all he could do after hearing Ken speak those simple and yet earth-shattering words. He leaned down far enough to press his lips to Ken’s, trying to place all of his emotions into that one soft kiss that demanded nothing, but asked for everything that Ken would willingly give.

Ken made no protest, and Sakura sought to deepen the kiss, flicking his tongue ever-so-lightly against Ken’s lips. Ken’s mouth opened almost immediately, and Sakura slid his tongue past those wonderfully pliant lips to explore the warm wetness of Ken’s mouth.

“Mmm…” The rumbling noise that reached Sakura’s ears was most definitely that of Ken purring. The man in his arms had come to life instantly, responding to his kiss with an almost wild passion; their tongues battled for dominance for several countless moments, but Ken eventually relented and let Sakura take the lead, just as he always had.

Sakura sat up a little straighter, the kiss unbroken. For a moment, he considered taking Ken to his car, maybe even driving him home… but with the way Ken was deliberately brushing their lower bodies together, Sakura knew that even going to the car was completely out of the question; and if they couldn’t make it to the car, how in the hell would they be able to make it all the way to his house? And for that matter, how would Sakura even be able to concentrate on driving?

Besides… they were the only two left in the studio. No one would see them…

It was Ken who broke away from the kiss first. “Saku-chan…” he murmured hotly against Sakura’s ear, “there’s no one else here, you know. We could… and I want you right now. I’m so hard already; can’t you feel me?”

Indeed, Sakura could. The insistent bulge in Ken’s pants was currently pressed against his thigh. Sakura smiled just a little and shifted once again so that their erections brushed together and let out a low moan, his eyes sliding closed. Ken gasped and wriggled a little in his lap – Sakura knew he was doing this deliberately, just to increase that delicious friction, and it felt so good…

“Nnn... fuck, Ken-chan. Stop wriggling!” Sakura slid his hands to Ken’s hips in a desperate attempt to still their movement, not wanting their fun to be over before they’d barely even begun.

“Why?” Ken asked, grinning down at him in a devilish sort of manner. “I’m having fun. And plus, you started it.” To accentuate his point, Ken thrust his hips again, making Sakura moan a bit louder.

“Stop,” Sakura growled warningly, sliding one hand under Ken’s shirt, his fingers lightly circling Ken’s bellybutton before traveling upwards and over Ken’s chest, skittering over a nipple. Ken whispered something completely incoherent before pressing his lips to Sakura’s neck and placing open-mouthed kisses to the skin, every now and again nipping gently. Sakura was positive that if they were standing, his legs would have given way.

Making a noise that was somewhere between a moan and a whimper, Sakura slid his hands to the front of Ken’s pants, making quick work of the button and the zipper, slipping his hand inside and stroking Ken’s length slowly, smirking when Ken’s mouth stopped working over his skin. He ran his thumb over Ken’s head, pausing to press firmly against the slit and causing more precum to ooze out. “You want me real bad, don’t you, Ken-chan?” he asked softly as Ken gazed at him, the answer already quite apparent in his eyes, but Sakura wanted to hear it nonetheless. “I can feel you throbbing in my hand, you know… whatever shall I do about it?”

“You know what to do about it,” Ken growled in response, arching forward into Sakura’s touch. “And I think the sooner you do it, the better.”

Sakura tangled the fingers of his free hand in Ken’s hair, dragging Ken’s head forward until their lips met in a nearly bruising kiss. “So you want me right here, then?” he asked as they broke apart, running his fingers along the sensitive underside of Ken’s cock. “Right here, just like this?”

“Fucking hell, yes, Saku-chan! Just like this!”

The tone in Ken’s voice was quite demanding, and Sakura definitely didn’t want to keep him waiting. He gave Ken’s member a quick tug before withdrawing his hand and gently pushing Ken off his lap, pressing him back against the couch. He pressed his lips to Ken’s, licking softly at his mouth as he grabbed either side of his lover’s pants, wordlessly urging him to lift his hips. When Ken did so, Sakura tugged them over those slim hips, breaking the kiss to tug them the rest of the way down.

He ran a hand over the silkiness of Ken’s boxers, smirking softly as Ken’s breath caught in his throat when his fingers dipped beneath the leg of his boxers, wandering over the skin of his inner thigh and coming dangerously close to the epicenter of that heat but not touching it.

“Don’t… don’t tease,” he heard Ken whisper, his voice husky and full of need. “I want you now.”

Faking a pout, Sakura removed Ken’s boxers as well, only working them over his hips and down his legs a little slower than he had Ken’s pants, simply to make Ken whine in impatience. He tossed the silky material aside and slid his hands up Ken’s legs, continuing until he reached his sides, pausing as he realized that Ken’s shirt was in the way.

Tilting his head to the side, he momentarily considered asking Ken to sit up so he could tug the shirt over his head, but then he realized that it was pretty sexy, having to delve underneath it to touch the softness of Ken’s skin.

Ken’s hands were already reaching for his pants, and he chuckled, lapping softly at the hollow of Ken’s throat. “You can’t be patient enough for me to undo them myself?”

“No, I can’t,” Ken replied, tugging at Sakura’s pants in an urgent sort of manner. “I told you already, I can’t wait. I can’t wait… I need you.”

Sakura pulled back, batting at Ken’s hands and undoing the pants himself, pausing momentarily to fish in his pocket for the lube. Then, he pulled both his pants and boxers down together, kicking them off and settling himself above Ken, gazing down at him and knowing that the look in Ken’s eyes mirrored his own.

“Your shirt--” Ken began, but Sakura interrupted him.

“No,” he mumbled against Ken’s lips as he unscrewed the cap from the tube. “Leave it on. We just need this. Just this.” He squirted a generous amount of lube into his hand and then moved that hand to his cock, gasping at the cool feel of the substance against his skin as he began coating himself thoroughly.

Beneath him, Ken was not being at all patient. He wriggled enough so that the heads of their erections brushed together, and Sakura bit back a moan, barely resisting the urge to press back. “Be still, won’t you?” he growled softly, gasping as he ran his slick fingers over his head.

“Well, hurry up.” Ken reached up, wrapping his arms around Sakura’s neck and bringing their lips together once again, kissing Sakura as though his life depended on it. Sakura kissed back in much the same manner, placing the lid back on the tube and tossing it aside. He heard it hit the floor, and then he grabbed Ken’s hips, angling himself just so and plunging inside without giving Ken a moment to prepare himself for the invasion.

Ken cried out into his mouth and stilled, his arms tightening around him just a little. Sakura remained motionless above him, quite simply overwhelmed by the tightness and the heat of Ken’s body. It was so good; it always had been, with him.

Sakura then pulled back from Ken’s mouth, watching his face carefully as he slid nearly all of the way out and then plunged back in again, loving the way the features of Ken’s face contorted in a look that was one of pure pleasure.

“Deeper,” Ken said suddenly, surprising Sakura by wrapping his legs firmly around his waist and tugging down, lifting his hips in the same instant and impaling himself further. Sakura’s only answer was a strangled moan. Was it possible for something to feel too good?

“Nnn… Ahh, Saku-chan… you feel so good…” Ken bucked his hips upwards again, and Sakura found himself completely lost, his head spinning. Then again, hadn’t it always been that way with Ken?

Sakura licked his lips, gazing down at Ken, his hands sliding further up and beneath Ken’s shirt once more to caress his sides. He began a rhythm then – slow, gentle strokes eventually becoming something much more primal with every thrust. Ken writhed beneath him, shifting and spreading his legs further apart, and Sakura growled, moving his hands to Ken’s knees and pushing them up his lover’s body until they were pressed to his chest. Ken made a low noise in his throat, his eyes half-closed.

He was beautiful.

He wasn’t passive at all, either. True, he was laying beneath Sakura, his body open and perfectly willing, but he was also thrusting his hips upwards every time Sakura thrust his own down; Ken’s arms were wound around him tightly and his lips were placing hot kisses to every single patch of Sakura’s skin that he could reach.

“Do you want me to make it feel even better?” Sakura whispered raggedly against Ken’s ear, worming a hand between their bodies and grasping Ken’s erection firmly, pumping in time with his thrusts and rubbing his thumb along all the sensitive spots of the head. Ken let out a small cry, his head falling back against the couch, his back arching once more.

Sakura felt his own cock throb and he knew that he wouldn’t last much longer, not with the way Ken was reacting to his touches, not with the way Ken’s muscles would clench around him just a little every now and again. “Let me…” he began, but he trailed off, concentrating on angling his hips just so before plunging in again, making Ken cry out once more, except only much louder this time. “Mmm… feels good, doesn’t it?” he asked, slamming into Ken’s prostate once again. “I’m going to make you come so hard…”

“S-Saku… ahhh…” Ken seemed to want to say something, but apparently he couldn’t force the words out. Instead, he matched Sakura’s rhythm again, shuddering every single time Sakura brushed against his prostate, a wild look in his eyes. “Fuck…”

Sakura began moving both his hand and hips almost desperately, pumping Ken just as roughly as he was pounding into him. He could feel his own release near, and as much as he wanted to prolong this moment, as much as he wanted to draw it out, his body simply would not cooperate with him. He was too far gone to even think about slowing down, and Ken didn’t seem willing to slow down, either.

“Just a little… ahhh, fuck… just a little more, Saku,” he heard Ken groan. “So close…”

Three more thrusts and Ken was suddenly crying out his name, his entire body tensing like a bowstring. His muscles clamped down around Sakura so hard that it was almost painful, and Sakura’s breath caught in his throat as he struggled to hold onto some semblance of control. Ken’s release was warm and somewhat sticky on Sakura’s fingers but he kept working his hand over Ken’s length all the same, milking him dry.

In the next instant, Ken’s lips were pressed against his neck, and he was trembling all over. “Come for me, Saku,” he moaned softly, shifting a little and thrusting his hips upwards once more, his muscles clenching around Sakura’s length once more, and that was enough to push him over the edge. He cried out loudly, his release filling Ken completely.

Burying his face in the soft material of Ken’s shirt, Sakura struggled to regain his breath and balance. Gradually, he did so, and he felt Ken’s breathing even out as well. Ken’s fingers were running lightly down his spine and back up again, and it was making him shiver. “Nnn…” he managed to murmur, turning his head and kissing Ken’s neck gently.

Ken remained silent, and Sakura knew that he was just waiting for him to tell Ken that they should go back home – to their own beds – and try to get some sleep. Taking a shaky breath, Sakura prepared himself to ask a question that he should have asked ages ago – a question that he had always wanted to ask but had never had the nerve. Tonight, he would force himself to ask what he needed to ask.

No… to ask what he wanted to ask.

He lifted his head and kissed Ken softly, considering the look in Ken’s eyes for a moment. There was fear in those eyes, and it was fear of rejection. Sakura didn’t ever want to see that fear in those beautiful dark eyes again. “Ken-chan,” he paused, running his tongue along his bottom lip, and then he continued, “would you like to come home with me tonight, or for me to come home with you?”

The wide smile that spread across Ken’s face was answer enough. Sakura didn’t know if they would be going to his place or to Ken’s, but there was definitely one thing that he did know.

Neither of them would have to go home to an empty bed tonight.


~End