Instinctus [entries|friends|calendar] Better than Instinct [ website | Tantrum Ego (Crossposted) ] [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

new discovery [22 Apr 2006|11:14am] to tell you the truth, i have been quite disappointed with tabulas now because it used to be this very modest but feature-packed blogging tool that is both user friendly but advanced (of course, the user must also both be friendly and advanced sana. hehe). but now, because of its super increased popularity, sadly because of users who don't really post anything but mundane posts, kahit yung friends limited na. well, i miss the blogging world but i'm sick of tabulas. livejournal is nice too, but it isn't as good as tabulas, despite the seemingly "drama club stereotype *COUGH*" crowd there who are both intriguing and fascinating. i found a new blogging site though, which is just as good as the old tabulas, and i hope worthy people will populate the said site. hehe. pNU /whorange. i'm moving there now. i'm still using a template, but it looks quite good. maybe i'll upload a template or whatever, but that's good na rin coz i wanna focus on my writing. or something. hehe. consider tantrum ego and better than your instinctus as good as dead. it was sad though. i hope maenganyo ko rin ang iba sa inyo into joining pNU. hehe. it's rather dead there too rin kasi, sayang lang yung features. kaya mabuti pang magjoin na kayo ngayon kaysa sa pag sumikat na siya kayo magjojoin. based on experiences in friendster, livejournal and tabulas, features are lessened once the site becomes popular. hehe. 1 filling| fill me up.

crap [28 Feb 2006|10:53pm] ang tagal ng online post ng results ng upcat... taena! fill me up.

Till Death do us Part. [04 Nov 2005|01:37pm] i haven't slept a wink since 6 PM yesterday... roughly 14 hours ago. sigh. insomnia, or inversed circardian rhytms in my case, will subside, but will never leave me. and time plays with me as always. i mean, the whole universe is at the gripping mercy of it, how am i an exception? only to god does time concede, and even god respects time because he works with it (oh god what's taking you so long or o god why did it all happen so fast wah wah wah). i've realized this because i know for a fact that after this weekend i'll be back to the hassle that is school which i actually miss. jesus. the hours seem so long, but the days come by so quickly. and you don't have to take my word for it because it's a timely fact. the scary thing is, i haven't been out of the house since the sembreak started (which was october 28). not even to churches or cemeteries or even malls. yes, just in the confines of my dull abode, wishing that i will not be inflicted with xeno/claustro/agoraphobia. the most productive thing i've done during my pseudo-house arrest is reviving thoughtless for the day. i might turn it into a site someday. but i've seen these hopes before. they never see themselves in reality's point of view. so far, in my TFTDs, i've written about heavy topics: divine intervention, ghosts and vulnerability, communication, nickname incorporation, time and nostalgia, and beauty slash asymmetry slash schizophrenia. ho-hum. what a bore you are, jei. what a bore you are, juju. [the both of] you need sleep. now. you know it because you feel it in your ass. heheh. PS: a belated blessed Death Days to all of you! </b> Currently Listening: Blues Traveler - Secret Agent Man fill me up.

inspired by faerytales: [28 Oct 2005|11:55pm] the idea was from one of faerytales' posts. hehehe. i posted this one on friendster as well. i also realize that it has been more than a month since i last posted. well, here goes. This is a different kind of survey. It's a survey that gives you total control. You are just given 20 numbers, no questions or whatever. You just fill them up with 20 random facts/information about you. With all the freedom in the world. Perhaps, you'll find out, this is the kind of survey, the one with no questions, that is the most difficult, or at least the longest to answer. TWENTY THINGS ABOUT ME: [ 01 ] -- i had just finished reading paolo coelho's eleven minutes. [ 02 ] -- i am still fascinated with it's story. [ 03 ] -- three common misconceptions people have about me: smart, filthy rich and responsible. [ 04 ] -- i am a child of love. [ 05 ] -- i don't understand why you call a love child something as derogatory as "illegitimate" at the same time. [ 06 ] -- i am bisexual... [ 07 ] -- ... but i prefer boys better. hehe. [ 08 ] -- girls find me interesting and unique. [ 09 ] -- i wish boys did so, too. [ 10 ] -- but if they did, i wish they wouldn't be intimidated by the "unique" thing. [ 11 ] -- i am loyal but i am not faithful. [ 12 ] -- i'd rather watch an episode of the simpsons or spongebob squarepants that i've seen a gazillion of times before than 98% of anything else that's on TV. [ 13 ] -- i love asian horror movies. [ 14 ] -- i love amusement parks. [ 15 ] -- i hate vegetables as much as i love asian horror movies and amusement parks. [ 16 ] -- i find cows funny and elephants adorable. [ 17 ] -- i'm not really sure what to write for number 17. [ 18 ] -- i love writing and am deeply inspired by jessica zafra's freshness and cynicism, paolo coelho's simplicity but impact on humaness, and jose rizal for his idealism. [ 19 ] -- i'm not an insomniac. i just have an inversed body clock. [ 20 ] -- i'm planning revenge on all the boys that have gone and went throughout my young life by getting a mega hot, i.e. Saharic, body once i get out of high bloody school. and as they drool over that cover girl in god knows what magazine(!), they'll regret all those years of not ever noticing me. hahaha. but then again, i'd have to give up on chocolates and twister fries, and big macs... and kfcs... and pizzas, and tater's popcorn and onion rings. syat. but then again, what else could be sweeter and more delictible than revenge? hehhee. PS. like i said, i am inspired by jose rizal's idealism. [ finally, who are you? ] -- i'm jei. have a nice day. yay! Currently Listening: Kaiser Chiefs - Everyday I Love You Less and Less 2 fillings| fill me up.

It's been a while, Pachyderm. [27 Sep 2005|08:18pm] it has been a while. you would be expecting me to say something better, more insightful, more rigorous, more spiritual, having lost touch from the wide wide world of the web for quite some time. but really, truly, madly, deeply, (lalala...) all there is for me to say is this: "BLAH." i am so, well, blah, right now. i am an unhealthy concoction of jaded-ness, weariness, procrastination, purposelessness, broken-heartedness, mediocrity and paper-bag-over-my-head-syndrome-ity. hehe. and i believe i had upset quite a few after reading this. blah. i deserve this. i didn't and still don't believe in cursed chain letters, other than the fact i'm a very, very mean girl. hehe. well, to tell you frankly, this all fuc-kyou-bi-tch attitude all started because of that stupid lasalle application thing. it made me remember a lot of things i've buried in the mountains of Memory and it made me realize a lot of things that are and that aren't. sigh. LITTLE PRINCE: "oh, i understand you all too well, but why speak in riddles?" PS: to anyone interested, i have YM again. wazamachine @ yahoo.com Currently Listening: Up Dharma Down - Maybe 3 fillings| fill me up.

Solitaire. [01 Sep 2005|11:38pm] [ music | Limp Bizkit - Rollin (hehe) ] i'm a loser who likes the feeling of winning. it gives me an orgasmic sensation. i just realized it today. is it bad? 3 fillings| fill me up.

Pachyderm Passion [15 Aug 2005|09:25pm] i'm downloading this song, pink elephants on parade, from my favorite disney motion picture scene ever. it's from dumbo, and the scene is that of dumbo and timothy accidentally getting drunk so they see this psychedellic array of hallucinations of elephants. everything elephants. elephant bubbles, polka dot elephants, elephant worms, and of course, pink elephants. i think when i'm older, as in legally older, i'll get those visions if i get in some nasty kind of trouble. Look out! Look out! Pink elephants on parade Here they come Hippety hoppety They're here and there Pink elephants ev'rywhere Look out! Look out! They're walking around the bed On their head Clippety cloppety Arrayed in braid Pink elephants on parade What'll I do? What'll I do? What an unusual view! I could stand the sight of worms And look at microscopic germs But technicolor pachyderms Is really much for me I am not the type to faint When things are odd or things are quaint But seeing things you know that ain't Can certainly give you an awful fright! What a sight! Chase 'em away! Chase 'em away! I'm afraid need your aid Pink elephants on parade! Pink elephants! Pink elephants! someday, i'll make a punk/goth cover of this song. hahaha. btw, today, i followed a certain unintended tradition of not going to school the school dayafter periodical tests. hay... hindi kasi ako ginising. tinamad na rin akong pumasok. lagot ang leeg ko sa mga tao bukas. </b> Currently Listening: Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live 2 fillings| fill me up.

Umm.. [12 Aug 2005|11:37pm] blech. i had by far the most unfortunate day of my entire life. even if i was to be born again. i just hope it wears off tomorrow. Currently Listening: Gorillaz - Dare 2 fillings| fill me up.

OopsCAT [06 Aug 2005|06:20pm] i asked god for signs of me having any possibility at all of passing the UPCAT and qualifying for UP as I was on my way to the Law Center. it was very Alchemist-ic, indeed. in front of our car, there was a green truck and in its rear were, in white, bold letters, "GOD IS GOOD". then when we were five minutes away from the gate, there was this barry manilowish song that played on the radio which went (as i remember with poor, sleepy memory), "Take my hand... Just follow me... and I'll take you anywhere you wish to be...". something of that essence. then as i was filling up the preliminaries on the answer sheet, i saw that my identification number had all my favorite numbers which were 6, 0 and 3. another play of numbers came along as i realized my test booklet had four consecutive 7's in it (dear god, how bruce almighty-ish of you. hehe). i finished the test not that confident, but it was actually easier than i had expected. i would've done a whore of a job if i'd studied. as i was on my way home, i was straying with my thoughts, and when i was thinking of passing UP again, in the middle of cement, gravel, metal and rubble of the street, a white butterfly whimsically flew along with the unnoticing passengers. of course, i'm not trying to say that yes, the cosmos are definitely in favor of me qualifying. that i'll get accepted. it's just hopeful interpretations of desperation. hehe. but if it goes as it did in The Alchemist, well, it'll be an experience so otherworldly. Currently Listening: The White Stripes - Blue Orchid 4 fillings| fill me up.

Sabaw. [03 Aug 2005|09:14pm] i am soup. that's right. i am soup. i am cream soup. i look solid but i am actually liquid. perhaps this colloidal aspect is deceiving, but in the end, i am still soup. this week, we have tests every day. as in every day like there's a fucking space between every day. my mind is jumbled up with oedipus and editorials and st. augustine and subs of p's and initial velocities and the hierarchy of needs and the comparison between the philippines and the bapor tabo. i want to screw them all. i want to screw the upcat the most. it's stressing everyone out. as each day passes, and that dreaded weekend inches near, the more weary i get. i can literally read the rejection letter from up already (uso ba dito yun?). i usually feel this jaded come third or fourth grading of every school year. but this is just the fucking first grading. i am soup. Currently Listening: Pierrot - Neogrotesque 3 fillings| fill me up.

UP [30 Jul 2005|04:06pm] up. cat. 6:30. A. M. Law Center (Bacaba Hall). August 6. shit. Currently Listening: Radiohead - Creep 2 fillings| fill me up.

The Start, the Middle and the End. [27 Jul 2005|09:52pm] [ mood | hihi ] [ music | Hide - Fucktrack #6 ] you had me at, "ride with me." craig. i love the way he suits this johnny depp duality of imperturbability and "tenacious insanity", and how he looks like the cross between scarlett johanssen and edward furlong. hehe. UPCAT is less than two weeks away. i haven't done anything to be competetive enough to the whole philippines. it's probably because i contest the idea of studying for college entrance exams. i believe we should be ranked through our stocked knowledge. of course, ganyan lang talaga magdahilan ang tamad. speaking of tamad, i have a written exam for acp medic trainees tomorrow and i haven't studied anything yet. but i'm happy since that's the second to the last obstruction before i finally become an official medic (the last being encampment.. oooh). tapos meron pa akong ibang quiz bukas na pasaway. but i guess i can manage my insomniac habits. it's what made me get love at first struck with mr. nicholls anyway. hahaha... i can't believe of all their songs, i only saw them yesterday. sa myx pa. haha. the only thing i'm worried about now is waking up early enough to be at school at 7 A.M. good night. Currently Listening: The White Stripes - Blue Orchid 3 fillings| fill me up.

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