1) Make it a sexual assault case 2) The crime must consist of the accused firstly biting the nose off of the victim, licking up the blood then proceeding to drop hot candle wax on her whilst trying to light a cigar, then proceeding to knock over flower pots, get the fingers dirty and then insert them into her and then into her mouth. 3) The accused must be a total dumbass because A)He's defending HIMSELF and B)Has to ask the most arbitrary questions just to further traumatize the victim. 4) The victim can't be very smart either. 5) The judge must show obvious disdain for the accused. 6) The Crown (or Prosecutor if you're American) must let the accused dig his own grave by not objecting to his inane line of questioning. 7) At least one completely shocked jurymember and one who looks at the celing.
That's right folks, today is Badminton Bay of Quinte. This is the first time since about grade 6 or 7 that I've missed school because of a sporting event. Top four go to COSSA, so let's hope that we can make it there. I would be ecstatic if we could.