faster than the speed of sound

_namewithheld @ 2008-04-16T08:12:00

2008-04-16T12:20:13Z

highs and lows are indiscernible.
there is no end in sight.
ive been in denial, lying.
i'm giving more and more,
getting less and less.
its alarming, despite it being constant.
i am literally drained of everything i have.
so this is the last.

_namewithheld @ 2008-04-03T00:40:00

2008-04-03T04:55:47Z

soooo i got accepted into the summer study abroad program in london!
i'll be studying at Middlesex University for three weeks from the end of June to the beginning of July.

i had a lot of different plans for this summer, but i just felt like this was an opportunity i had to take.
many of the other things were just maybe's. sometimes i just have to make a move for myself instead of waiting to see how i can fit in best with everyone else. it will be a good time. for some reason im a little hesistant about it...but more so just overwhelming happy that i got accepted in the first place.

theyre offering these great classes called counseling in education, and counseling the atypical child. both of which are perfect for me. PLUS there is an included trip to stonehenge. and as some may know twirling at stonehenge is on my list of things to do before i die...actually i dont think ive ever shared that list with anyone but mike, so perhaps nobody knew that. HOWEVER it is on there and it WILL be accomplished. and i couldnt be more thrilled.

oh how i will twirl...

_namewithheld @ 2008-04-01T20:14:00

2008-04-02T00:21:20Z

sometimes im just walking along and say things to myself like..."why is the sidewalk so freaking dry and hard today?"

_namewithheld @ 2008-03-31T01:06:00

2008-03-31T05:12:40Z

dear blues traveler,
YES!
love kerri harrington

things i learned this week/end

2008-03-24T22:40:16Z

i would probably make more money being a pirate
i need to stand up for myself more.
i used to listen to good music.
i get increasingly confident in my depth perception the more i drink.
my new contacts are already not strong enough.
i have an anchor adoration in common with my cuzzzz heather
i also learned she has neon yellow pants.
i learned that my bathroom door is officially hazardous
im learning right now as i type that my use of periods is completely sporadic.
the coffee isnt just going to float to your mouth
im allergic to kiwis(DAMN!)
christian and milkshakes are theraputic:
even though he might have found a life dooming gold penny...
KNOCK ON WOOD!!
i believe in knocking on wood. sort of.
im doing better in school then i thought.
there is a sniper living on my block.
he's really lazy though.
the next month of my life is going to FLY.
i'm still trying to learn if im okay with that.
i lie.
and im honest to a fault.
i have trouble NOT saying whats on my mind, yet i cant seem to stand up for myself.
i need a haircut.
i will never understand the existential crises of 0 degrees farenheit.
my dad has a really big heart.
my family is basically hysterically funny.
john adams was a rockin dude.
i study best under pressure.
i need to put myself out there more.
im ready to be the person i want to be/like being.

_namewithheld @ 2008-03-20T23:58:00

2008-03-21T04:04:01Z

i can't make decisions.
can i?

dear livejournal,

2008-03-19T04:42:59Z

im on a gushers kick.
florida for spring break was fab.
we finally got there late sunday night.
the weather was nice, not too hot and not buffalo.
we didnt have to wait on a line longer then 10 minutes in both disneyworld and universal which in itself was a marvel to me.
i'm not see-through white anymore.
i am on the poorer side though. BUT WHATEVS.
we had fun.

i have a stupid doctor appointment tomorrow at 8:30 in the bloody morning.
but its important i go.
i need to start separating the different aspects of my life from melding into one drama blob.
i cant wait to have time to read something other then homework.
the kids at work missed me, and that makes me feel important.
the next month is going to be a wild one.
sooo busy.
hopefully i get some alex and ashley time though.
i need it.
its a good thing i have my wit and sarcasm to carry me through, thats all im saying.

damn i love gushers.

_namewithheld @ 2008-03-08T12:13:00

2008-03-08T17:30:47Z

someone doesn't want me to be in florida ever again ever.
so not only did visiting mike in florida get messed up, but i was supposed to leave for orlando today with the girls for spring break...until a monsterous storm came and fucked cleveland(where we are flying out of) and buffalo(making it impossible to even GET to cleveland). we got over a foot in one day. BUT luckily my dad was able to get the airline to bump us to a guaranteed sunday flight instead of just hoping our flight today wasnt cancelled or bumped to some insane date like tuesday.(the flights they were canceling friday were already having to wait until monday night). so we are just sitting around being goofy, killing time before we leave for cleveland tonight. i just have to laugh about it, apparently an easy trip to florida just isn't in the cards for me =)

i did get an awesome pirate towel though. and a really cute beach bag. i just cannot wait to get there and soak up all the vitamin D i possibly can, i need sunlight, its been snowing in buffalo for like 3 weeks straight, it always gets like this around january -february-march. so some warmth should help us all get a fresh start to come back and finish the rest of the semester. which will actually be over before i know it. i get out really early this semester(may 1st!) and i have an event every single weekend from now til then, so hopefully it flies by.

i love disney world. this will be my 7th time going. it never gets old. and universal too. i just always enjoy myself, feel totally at ease when i'm there. even though i really hate florida's sticky weather, it doesnt matter. plus its supposed to be beautiful this week. KNOCK ON WOOD since i just jinxed us majorly.

i think im going to use this time to organize my room and my life. i need fresh starts everywhere.
later lovelies

boo

2008-03-06T04:35:37Z

i wish i didnt try so hard to think of things to say to you

pity party with all the toppings

2008-03-04T17:31:57Z

i frequently find myself in situations over which i am thoroughly involved, yet have no control over.

quite a few vital friendships in my life are changing. this is something i've grown accustomed to i suppose. but it still always seems to sneak up on me at first. it seems to be affecting me in different ways this time. im guessing because the symptoms are much more personal than ever before. and so much harder to avoid. i am watching my close friends change, and i feel less and less like i have a place in their lives. Some people are doing more to see to it that I stay than others. I'm not asking for constant reassurance, i never am. but i don't think asking for something other than constant disregard is too much either. who knows. there is just no where to go when your best friend is the one making you feel unwanted. ( except for livejournal i guess...ew)

i am just always looking for anchors.
i hate feeling like im drifting.

despite my negative rants as of late there are good things going on.
like how ill be in florida in 4 days for spring break.
or how i got a promotion at work(have i mentioned that)
or that in the face of negatives, mike shows me positives.
or how my room is kind of clean right now. kind of.

and how can i forget...this years free spring concert is AKON, TPain, and MIMS!
time to get drunk and pretend i belong.
score.

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-27T12:12:00

2008-02-27T17:19:07Z

so instead of getting to go see mike on base this weekend, their colonel put the entire base on restriction and I'm not allowed to go anymore. i just hate that neither of us had any control over it, it wasn't anything we did wrong, i have to cancel all my reservations, and it was so last minute. i couldn't have been more psyched up as the days counted down...i was leaving friday morning. im just so annoyed.

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-20T00:43:00

2008-02-20T05:48:16Z

are you serious life? are you fucking serious?
fuck this.

whoa oh oh ah oh

2008-02-13T20:42:43Z

And we sink, and we drown
and what is lost can never be found
well these arms did swim,
until the lungs pulled in
panic was lost in a deep understanding
that you will see what is wrong with everything
what is wrong with you and me
they make all the right reasons to fuck it up
you're gonna fuck it up

----------
i'm going to probably stop having panic attacks from now on.
i think its in everyones best interest.
i'll just quietly, calmly float.
silently count days, wishing time would speed,
until ive wished too hard and all the right days
are going all the wrong ways.
but it will be okay, because ill be going the wrong ways with the right people.
and blissful ignorance.

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-12T23:50:00

2008-02-13T04:54:46Z

also i want someone to get me a book

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-12T23:31:00

2008-02-13T04:36:34Z

i am easily frustrated these days.
i am going to run away.

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-04T20:38:00

2008-02-05T01:48:21Z

dear non handicapped people who hit the handicap button to automatically open doors,

stop it. when will you realize it takes you longer to pass through said door while you are waiting for it to open on its own than it would take you to open it yourself? you abruptly stop and wait for the slow moving door and it messes with my flow. im walking to the beat of the music on my ipod, and you are throwing off my groove. i mean you have to lift your arm to hit the button anyways, just push the damn door open. also, it hurts me when i think a door is propped open and i begin to walk through only for it to come crashing closed on me once the timer is over. and YES i fall for it EVERYTIME. merrily walking along thinking its a propped door and BAM its begins closing on me. maybe im afraid of being smooshed in a door. you dont even know. YOU-DONT-EVEN-KNOW!!

with love, bad walking rhythm, and bruised elbows,
kerri

p.s.- points to whoever gets the ending of my rant.

_namewithheld @ 2008-02-03T17:34:00

2008-02-03T22:43:20Z

sociology is the most useless subject ever.
i do not like when people explain their life story before every answer on who wants to be a millionaire.
its like seriously SHUT UP I DONT CARE.
anyway.
last night we went to a valentines day party. lots of fun.
we've been so social this year. im very proud of us.
im going to see mike february 29th!
he bought me tickets to go see him for a long weekend.
im really excited. its so hard for him to get leave, so he decided its best for me to florida.
i cant wait to see the base and all that good stuff. should be a great time.
everyday i change my future plans.
its starting to be taxing.
super bowl party in a few. and i really need a haircut.
i felt like i had more to say but i guess not.
life is good.
hope yours is too.

_namewithheld @ 2008-01-30T00:51:00

2008-01-30T05:55:57Z

school has ruined education for me.

sooo yeah

2008-01-23T01:43:02Z

we bought a hamster.
for real.
we are ridiculous. but he is amazing. he's not a mean hamster he's so funny and loves to chill with us.
needless to say i am back up in buffalo with my crazy roommates.
i absolutely LOVE my classes this semester. i was afraid that one or two was going to be very science heavy, but they actually turned out to be my favorite ones.
so i'm in good spirits.
i got a promotion at work, and a research assistant position. so my schedule is pretty full but i'm really optimistic about what's ahead.
i miss mike like crazy but we are trying to find a weekend in late february that can i go visit him.
we'll see.
so it was a blizzard today.
which is the perfect opportunity for my car to totally flip out, stall, and literally almost set on fire in the middle of the road. it needs all this stuff done, and they are even saying i have some transmission problems. which is the kiss of death. i hope coopers okay...
melissa made these delicious smores bars.
death of me.
my fish is officially named bumblebeefigaro; he's highly anorexia and im scared for his health.
i have pirates of the caribbean gloves.

_namewithheld @ 2008-01-21T01:11:00

2008-01-21T06:15:23Z

i bouhgt a hamster today.his name is growly
im drukn right now

staring obsessively without threat of arrest

2008-01-20T04:34:04Z

i got a fish today!!!

give me the real sticky icky

2008-01-10T06:30:13Z

snoooooooop

_namewithheld @ 2008-01-07T21:06:00

2008-01-08T02:12:18Z

the mtv show made is making me really angry.
people are so mean.

hi all

2008-01-04T16:19:59Z

someone gave my mom this thisrt quenching gum to try.
"thirt quencing gum for active people"
so we all tried a piece, it was the wierdest sensation ever. the initial bite is such an intense rush of dry sugar sour bitterness that your mouth starts salivating like its freaking pavlovs wet dream. that is not thirst quenching. that is putting your mouth into sheer agony to develop some of your own spit to swallow. what the heck. i was totally expecting some yummy juices to be splashed around. NO, just some gum flavored oral defense system juices.

i have had a total of 11 doctors appointments in the 4.5 weeks ive been home for vaca. speaking of vacation i leave on the 13th and i have still yet to see the following people i planned to make plans with: stephanie, dave, graham, and some more greg before we never see eachother again.
get on that.

today i am going on a mini weekend vacation.
me,mom,lyss,my aunt sue, matt, justin, and kevin.
we are going to a ski resort type thing.
and none of us have ever skied, snowboarded, or anythinged in our lives.
there is an extensive alcohol list.
this is going to be a tres interesting adventure.
heres to crossed fingers!
lets hope i dont come home broken.

mmm christmas cookies

2007-12-29T17:21:08Z

i feel better.
christmas was good.
i got the chris brown cd so im pretty much set.
i got to see my long lost cousin heather :)
on christmas day i finally outwitted christian with our gift pranks.
very successful holiday.
it was weird not having mike around with the family.
but gotta do what we gotta do.
i have to realize its hard on both of us.
and i do see him trying to be there for me more then ever.
theres been a change him that i've been looking for for so long.
i still cant help but get frustrated sometimes.
enough of that.
things are on the upswing.
is that word?
nonetheless.

i've been reading a lot. i got a bunch of books for christmas so so so so excited. i've been having new book withdrawls.

i finally finished this mondo scrapbook i was making for melissa. it came out good, i think she really liked it.
i'm also wicked excited about alex coming down to visit LI, but its a catch 22 because once she comes that means its the last weekend of winter break.
im still counting down the days to alexdom though!

i have lots to ramble about but maybe another time.
hope everyone had a good holiday and such.

and yes, i realize i said wicked. but i can't help it anymore. ive been around my friend brittany so much its just part of my vocabulary. upstate is trying to seep into my skin. when im up there people note my li accent. when im down here at home my dad says i sound like im getting an upstate accent. and then i go saying words like wicked and people at home say "oh really kerri? wicked?" yes wicked.
wicked is one of those words if you write it too much it looks wrong.
do other people ever get that? i get that a lot.

I AM WICKED COOL. BYE. ew i hate capital letters.