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Thursday, December 30th, 2010
Time:
3:44 am.
Randomly logged in today after... many months.
Life is alright. I'm still not sure what to make of it. I've been having strange reminiscent feelings I used to have. Not sure why. I don't really know how to feel or what to think.
Anyway, things in life always progress much slower than you expect them to. Trying to get a new job, for months now. Been trying to discover new good music. I can't stand my mother. It's a matter of time until I get kicked out I'm sure.
I've always thought that I would love to live by the sea To travel the world alone and live more simply I have no idea what's happened to that dream Cos there's really nothing left here to stop me
It's just a thought, only a thought
But if my life is for rent and I don't learn to buy Well I deserve nothing more than I get Cos nothing I have is truly mine
You know those music videos (or commercials) where theres someone standing there, and everyone around them is moving so much faster? That's exactly how I've felt today.
I met a girl who hated the world - she used her body to sell her soul Everytime they'd break her and pay - tear out her heart, and leave her in pain I never found out how she survived all of the sadness she kept inside I never found out how she could lie with a smile on her face, and the scratches she'd hide
You could love her if you paid, you could have her everyday You could love her if you prayed, you could have her every way
Down on her knees, she wept on the floor - this hopeless life she wanted no more Dead in her mind and cold to the bone - she opened her eyes and saw she was alone She never found out how much I tried - all of the sadness she kept made me blind She never found out how much I cried - the rope so tight on the night that she died...
I never found out how she survived - a life lived in lies is a life of denial I never found out how she could lie - with a smile on her face and the darkness inside
All around me are familiar faces... worn out places... worn out faces... bright and early for the daily races, going nowhere, going nowhere... the tears are filling up their glasses, no expression, no expression... hide my head i wanna drown my sorrow, no tomorrow, no tomorrow... and I find it kinda funny, find it kinda sad, that dreams are in which im dying, are the best ive ever had. Find it hard to tell you, find it hard to take, when people run in circles... its a very very.......... mad world.......... mad world........
children waiting for the day they feel good, happy birthday. happy birthday.... when i feel the way that every child should, sit and listen.... sit and listen... went to school i was very nervous, no one knew me, no one knew me.... hello teacher tell me whats my lesson, look right through me, look right through me... find it kinda funny, find it kinda sad, that dreams are in which im dying, are the best ive ever had. Find it hard to tell you, find it hard to take, when people run in circles... its a very very.......... mad world.......... mad world........
Man, remember my rule about me? How the less I update the better I'm doing? Well it seems to be fitting to a T lately. I've been doing really well and rarely been updaing haha. I just never really have much to say, but boy, this journal sure has been a roller coaster. From deepest depression and suicidal to working my way back up near the top. I feel great.
_mylife