[back to the prequel.]



“What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day, when they were lying
side by side near the nursery fender, before Nana came to tidy the room.
“Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?”

“Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse. “It’s a thing
that happens to you. When a child loves you for a long, long time,
not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”

“Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.

“Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always
truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”

Margery Williams – The Velveteen Rabbit




There are two things Jensen Ackles doesn’t get enough of; sleep and time with his little girl. Usually he sacrifices one for the other. Not always by his choice, of course.

“Daddy! Daddy daddy DADDY!”

Jensen blearily opens his eyes as the bed bounces wildly. He curls up in the fetal position and cups his hands over his crotch to protect it from tiny flailing feet. It only took one good blow for him to learn that trick.

“Ryan,” Jensen groans. She continues to jump up and down on the bed and Jensen lets out a playful growl and grabs her ankle. She shrieks as he pulls her foot out from under her and she topples to the bed. She rolls over to face him, strawberry blonde hair in a state of nearly untamable bed-head. Her green eyes are wide with mischief.

“Hey Daddy,” she says as she curls up to his side. “Are you awake?”

“Very funny.” Jensen yawns and curls his arm around Ryan’s tiny form. “It’s early. What’s up, kid?”

“I missed you,” she says simply. Jensen feels a pang deep in his chest and pulls her closer. She rests her little head on Jensen’s pillow and they stare at each other with identical eyes. “I fell asleep before you came home last night.”

“I know. I came in to kiss you when I got home,” Jensen tells her. “Did you have fun with Uncle Misha?”

“Yep! We watched Halloween and had onion rings and ice cream for dinner!” Jensen narrows his eyes and Ryan giggles. “I’m kidding! He told me to say that.”

Jensen chuckles and rolls onto his back. He arches up into a stretch and Ryan rests her chin on his chest. She levels him with a gaze that seems way too grown-up for a seven-year-old. Jensen swallows.

“So how was your, um, date thingy?” Ryan asks. She doesn’t sound particularly pleased or like she really even cares, and her voice is almost weary like she doesn’t quite understand. Jensen feels guilty all over again. He sits up and pulls her into his lap, pushing strands of her hair away from her face.

“Well, kid. It sucked,” he says honestly.

“You didn’t like him?” Ryan asks hopefully. Jensen chuckles and presses a kiss to the top of her head. Understatement. He was shallow and boring and couldn’t get the check fast enough when he found out Jensen had a kid.

“No, I didn’t like him,” Jensen replies. She looks relieved and concerned all at the same time. Jensen smiles and falls back onto the bed. A sharp pain rips through his side and he yelps. “Ow!”

“DAD! You did not just fall on Jared!” Ryan yells. She pushes ineffectually at his side. “Move your butt, daddy!”

Jensen rolls to his side and Ryan dives down to grab her plastic doll. She cradles it to her chest and glares at Jensen. He rolls his eyes and sits up again, rubbing at the sore spot on his back.

Malibu Jared© is Ryan’s favorite toy. He’s a little plastic doll that was purchased solely to round out Ryan’s complete set of Malibu Sandy© toys, but quickly replaced Sandy as the crown jewel of all of Ryan’s possessions. Jensen is a little concerned that her favorite thing in the universe is a boy doll that always seems to be half-naked, but he’s not a brave enough man to try to take it away from her.

“Say you’re sorry,” Ryan demands. She shoves Jared in Jensen’s face and he stares at Jared’s permanent plastic smile and his tiny plastic dimples. Jensen rolls his eyes and reminds himself that he swore to do anything to make his baby girl happy.

“Sorry, Jared,” Jensen says blandly. Ryan giggles and pokes Jensen’s noise with Jared’s tiny plastic face.

“Hey Jensen,” Misha says suddenly. Jensen jumps and looks over to see him standing in the doorway. Jensen forgot he slept over. “You gonna make out with that doll or are you gonna make me and the kid some pancakes?”

“Pancakes!” Ryan shouts. She rolls off of Jensen’s bed and jumps into Misha’s arms. He swings her around with a flourish and Jensen once again thanks his lucky stars for such an awesome (albeit quirky) best friend.

“Alright!” Jensen laughs as he swings his feet off of the bed. “Alright, pancakes.”


Jensen barely has time to get his coffee and sit down at his desk at work before Tom swoops down on him. Jensen sighs and tries to ignore him as he logs into his computer.

“Yo, Ackles,” Tom says. Jensen grits his teeth. On most days he almost considers Tom a friend. But just… not right now.

“Welling,” he responds tightly. He sits on the edge of Jensen’s desk and fiddles with the photo tree Danneel helped Ryan make for him last Father’s Day.

“How’d it go with Scott last night?” Tom asks with an eyebrow waggle that Jensen takes to mean that Tom thinks all every gay guy in the world wants is to get laid.

And well, that’s true. But a few of them have a little more depth.

“Not well,” Jensen says simply as he neatens a stack of papers on his desk. “He was a dick.”

“Oh. Well, let me see who else I can dig up for you,” Tom says. He even pulls out his cell phone to do so. Jensen shakes his head.

“No thanks. I don’t need your help.” Jensen opens his e-mail and Tom cocks his head to the side. “Please don’t try to set me up anymore.”

“Alright, alright,” Tom concedes. He holds his hands up in surrender. “Just thought you might like to have somebody.”

“I’m fine,” Jensen says. He doesn’t sound all that convincing. “Look, I’m like, this close to making junior partner. I want that right now. I’m through with dating. I just want to focus on my kid and my job. That’s it.”

“Okay, jeez.” Tom shifts his weight and watches as a receptionist in a tight skirt saunters past. “Methinks the lady doth protest too much, but whatever.”

“Tom,” Jensen says through gritted teeth. “Don’t you have some work you could be doing?”

Tom shrugs and wanders off. He could be going to his own desk or he could be chasing after that little temp. Jensen doesn’t care. He swallows a mouthful of scalding coffee and stares at a photo of him and Ryan before he starts his work.


The doorbell rings at half past six on Wednesday night, right on schedule. Jensen is sitting on the couch with his laptop on his lap and his glasses perched on his nose.

“Ryan!” He calls. “Get the door, please!”

Ryan comes tearing through the living room with Sandy clutched in her fingers. Jared is strangely absent. She has on a pair of pink sunglasses and a straw beach hat. Jensen would kill for even half of the imagination that his kid has. Maybe then he’d get these damn designs done.

She pulls open the door and squeals, same as she does every Wednesday at half past six. She’s lifted out of the air by a thin pair of arms and twirled around. Jensen smirks and watches over the rim of his glasses. Ryan loves a good twirl.

“Hi Danny!” Ryan shouts. She wraps her arms around Danneel, who kisses her cheek and hugs her tight.

Contrary to popular belief, Danneel is not Ryan’s mother. Jensen doesn’t like to think about her mother too often. He doesn’t know where she is and he doesn’t really care. He almost wishes he had never gotten mixed up with her back in college, but then he wouldn’t have Ryan.

It wasn’t easy for Jensen. He was a twenty-year-old guy hideously confused about his sexuality, left to raise a baby girl all by himself and go to college. But he’s never regretted it. Not for one second.

It helps that he had Danneel and Misha there to help out with Ryan so he didn’t miss too many classes and was able to graduate. They mean the world to him and he doesn’t think he’ll ever be able to express the true depth of his gratitude.

Misha arrives about a half an hour after Danneel with a grocery bag in one arm and a flower in the opposite hand. Ryan walks up to him and grins.

“Is that for me?” She asks sweetly. Misha holds out the grocery bag.

“What, this garlic bread?” He says playfully. “Sure.”

“No!” Ryan laughs and points to the flower. “The flower, Misha.”

“Oh, well,” he says thoughtfully, tapping the carnation against his chin while he pretends to think. “I suppose you can have it. It goes with your outfit. You just came back from the beach, I see?”

“Yep!” Ryan takes the pink flower and smells it. “Went to the beach with Jared. He’s waiting for me. Is it almost spaghetti time?”

“Wow, that’s awesome.” Misha grins. “Danny is making the spaghetti, so why don’t you take this to her and then you can go back to the ocean until it’s done?”

Ryan nods and grabs the bag, tiny feet slapping against the wooden floor as she runs into the kitchen and then back into her room. Jensen hears the door slam and looks up fondly at Misha.

Misha has always been the most imaginative person Jensen knows, second only to Ryan. He really encourages Ryan’s creativity and is always there to lend a hand when her imagination runs wild. He tells Ryan bedtime stories so inventive that even Jensen sometimes finds himself getting sucked in – stories about magic and dreams and wishes come true. Ryan eats it up.

“Hey man,” Misha says as he drops down onto the sofa next to Jensen. “Get off the computer. It’s family dinner time.”

“But it’s not – “

“Dinner’s ready!” Danneel calls. Misha winks and Jensen rolls his eyes. He closes his laptop and gets up to help get all the plates ready. When he goes to get Ryan she’s sitting on the floor in her hat, sunglasses, and sandals and Jensen sits down next to her.

“Dinner’s ready,” he says. Ryan holds up Jared and points him at Jensen, shushing him.

“We’re at the ocean, Daddy,” she says calmly. “Close your eyes and see.”

Jensen puts his arm around Ryan and closes his eyes. She puts her hand on his arm and for a moment he swears he can hear the waves.


After the three of them get Ryan to sleep, which is no easy feat, they reconvene in the kitchen. Jensen washes, Misha dries, and Danneel pours herself a glass of wine. The cook is always relieved of clean-up duty.

“Oh, hey,” Danneel says suddenly. “I meant to tell you. I won’t be around this weekend. Tyler and I are going to visit his parents. Sort of a last minute thing. I know Friday is my day but we’re leaving in the morning so I won’t be able to pick up Ryan from aftercare.”

“Oh, that’s okay,” Jensen tells her with a shrug. “I can leave early.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Misha says as he sets a dry dish in the cupboard. “I have a meeting in the morning but that’s it. I can grab her.”

“Thanks, man,” Jensen tells him. “You guys save my life on a weekly basis. You know that, right?”

“We know that,” Misha and Danneel say in unison. Jensen rolls his eyes and smirks.

“But I have a date on Saturday,” Misha says. “Number four with Vicki. I think she’s a keeper.”

“That’s great!” Jensen tells him honestly. He’s met Vicki. She’s absolutely perfect for Misha.

“You got anything planned?” Misha asks. Jensen shakes his head and swallows.

“Yep,” he says steadily. “Hanging out with my kid for the foreseeable future. I’ve decided to retire from the dating game.”

“But Jensen,” Danneel says. He waves a hand to cut her off and gives her a tight smile.

“No, it’s not worth it,” Jensen tells her. “Maybe when Ryan is older. But just… not right now.”

Misha and Danneel share a concerned look as Jensen scrubs the sauce pot clean.


Okay, fine. So maybe Jensen is a little bit lonely.

Maybe not lonely, exactly. He has Ryan and she is his entire world. He has his friends and a good job and a good apartment. But like everyone on the entire planet, he wants a better half. He wants to fall in love.

He’s lying on the couch, one arm hanging off of the edge and fingers trailing across the cool floor. The television is on some late-night talk show but he’s not really paying attention.

Alright, so he’s moping a little. He’s in one of his wistful, melancholy moods that hit him unexpectedly every so often and there’s only one thing that can make him feel better. And that one thing is currently fast asleep.

“Hey,” Ryan says softly. Well, she was asleep. Jensen jumps a little at the sound of her voice. He hadn’t heard her coming. She crawls up onto the sofa and Jensen sits up to pull her into his lap.

“Hey kid,” Jensen says sleepily. “Why aren’t you in bed?”

“Why are you sad?” Ryan asks. She’s so perceptive sometimes and all Jensen can do is blink and pull her closer. Jared’s tiny plastic hand pokes him in the chest.

“I’m not sad, baby girl,” Jensen says, but it rings hollow. Ryan surges up and kisses his cheek. Jensen smiles and tugs playfully on her ponytail.

“I heard Uncle Misha talking on the phone the other night and he said you were lonely,” Ryan says. Jensen bites his lip and vows to smack Misha across the back of the head.

“I’m not lonely,” Jensen protests. He gathers Ryan up in his arms and hugs her tight to his chest. “How can I be lonely when I have the best little girl in the world?”

“I don’t mean that, Daddy.” Ryan sits on his lap in her tiny purple pajamas and Jensen wishes she would stop growing. She holds up her Jared doll, dressed as usual in his pink swim trunks. She plays with his arm and strokes her fingers over his perfectly coiffed plastic hair. “I bet if Jared was real, he could make you happy. Jared is awesome!”

Jensen chuckles and takes Jared from his daughter’s hand. He looks the doll up and down, notes his wide plastic mouth and sculpted plastic abs. “I bet he could,” Jensen mumbles. Then he chuckles at himself and covers his eyes with one hand as he hands the doll back to his daughter. He must be hard up if he’s resorted to checking out dolls.

“I wish Jared was real!” Ryan exclaims suddenly. She brings the doll close enough to her face that her eyes cross as she talks directly to it. “Jared, I wish you would be real so you could make my daddy happy, because you’re the best and I know you could do it! Then we could all play together all the time!”

Jensen laughs and scoops Ryan up in one arm as he gets off of the couch. He carries her to her bedroom and yawns blearily.

“Okay, kid. Time for bed.” He playfully drops her onto her bed and she crawls under the sheets.

“Don’t you wish Jared was real?” She asks. Jensen smirks and pinches Jared’s little molded hand.

“Sure,” Jensen says. “I wish Jared was real.”

And a tiny part of him means that, because if his daughter loves someone so much, they can’t be all bad.

Jensen leans in to give Ryan a kiss, but she raises Jared in front of her face and Jensen ends up kissing Jared’s little plastic head instead. It’s weird, but he swears he feels his lips tingle.

“Okay, you and Jared need to get some rest,” Jensen says and leans down to press his lips to Ryan’s forehead. “Love you, Ryan.”

“Love you, Daddy!” Jensen smiles and flips off Ryan’s light. The little pink pony nightlight in the corner comes on and Jensen leaves the door open a crack. He heads into his own bedroom and sheds his clothes, yawning hard enough to crack his jaw. He falls into bed and is fast asleep within minutes.


Ryan is going through a phase.

It’s sort of a fairytale phase. Everything is princes and princesses and sparkly rainbows. She believes in magic and fairy godmothers and true love and happily ever afters.

She knows her daddy loves her very much, but he needs a prince. He needs a happily ever after. He needs a little magic.

“Now c’mon, Jared,” she whispers to the little doll as she tiptoes stealthily through the apartment. “You can do this. I know you can make him happy.”

She kisses Jared’s head and sneaks into her dad’s room. He’s fast asleep and Ryan tucks her Jared doll under the sheets, his tiny head resting on a pillow.

“Bippity boppity boo!” She whispers, and then wiggles her fingers over Jared. All magic needs a little fairy dust.

She giggles and then skips back to her own bedroom.


Jensen wakes up the next morning before his alarm goes off. He’s groggy and still tired and he rolls over onto his other side to try and get some more sleep. His bed is so warm and cozy and he settles in deeper. His arm brushes something solid and sleep-warm.

That’s when his eyes pop open.

On the other side of his bed is a guy, a big guy, fast asleep on his back. Jensen will deny it until his dying day, but he lets out a scream that would rival Ryan’s when encountered with the world’s biggest spider.

The guy’s eyes flutter open and he’s freakishly still for a moment before he sits up stiffly. He inspects his hands, spreading his fingers and curling them into fists before he puts his palms flat against his chest. A serene smile breaks out across his face and his eyes go wet.

“I’m real,” he says. Jensen blinks rapidly and looks around the room for something that could be used as a weapon. “She did it. I can’t believe it.”

“Who the fuck did what now?” Jensen finally shrieks. He’s horrible with confrontations and has no idea how to handle waking up to some dude he’s never seen before in his bed.

The guy jumps to his feet and stumbles a little, and Jensen uses the moment to slam him up against the wall with all of his strength. The guy lets out a squeak and Jensen tries not to think about how big this dude is.

“Who the hell are you and what the hell are you doing in my house?” Jensen growls. The guy swallows hard and fixes Jensen with a strangely familiar gaze.

“Okay look,” the guy says in an almost chipper voice. “I know Karate Jared© didn’t sell that well, but I still know how to do it!”

“What the…” Jensen trails off and the guy hits Jensen in the chest with a palm strike that sends him sprawling backwards onto his bed.

“Hiii-yah!" The guy shouts, and then grins like he’s proud of myself. Jensen’s eyes widen as he looks the guy up and down. Perfect tan, perfect hair, perfect wide smile and perfect sculpted abs. Familiar little pink swim trunks with the white hibiscus flowers down the side and the letter ‘J’ on the back.

Oh god.

“Wait… Jared?” Jensen asks incredulously, unbelievably, and the guy nods excitedly and grins. Jensen feels faint. How could this even… “RYAN!”

“Oh my, Ryan!” Jared (oh holy shit this can’t actually be Jared) goes running out of the room and towards his daughter’s bedroom. “Ryan, yes!”

“You!” Jensen calls out. He scrambles off of the bed and takes off after the goddamn living doll. “You get back here!”

Jared skids across the hardwood floor on his bare feet and then barges into Ryan’s room. Jensen’s heart is pounding wildly and he gets into the room just in time to see Ryan squeal with delight and springboard off of her bed and into Jared’s arms. Jared catches her and spins her around in a wide circle.

“It worked!” Ryan shouts. “Daddy, it worked! It really, really worked!”

“Hi Ryan!” Jared says. His teeth are startlingly white and not a hair falls out of place as he swings her around. “It’s so good to see you.”

“Okay, no. What worked?” Jensen demands as he takes his daughter away from Jared. He pouts and she pouts and Jensen growls. “What’s going on? Ryan, what did you do?”

“I wished for Jared to be real!” She yells adamantly. “And so did you!”

“No.” Jensen shakes his head and clutches Ryan close to his chest as he stares at Jared. Even through his panic, Jensen can’t deny that this is the most gorgeous guy he’s ever seen – real life or not. He’s just dazzling and Jensen blinks away the stars in his eyes. “This can’t be Jared. This isn’t your doll. Who is this?”

“I am Jared!” He says defiantly. “I’m Ryan’s doll and I can prove it!” Jared sits down on the edge of Ryan’s bed and thrusts his leg up in the air, placing the bottom of his foot inches away from Jensen’s face. The red heart on the arch of his foot is impossible to miss. Jensen remembers marking that doll’s foot, same as every other toy Ryan owns. Jensen swallows.

“Oh god,” Jensen moans. “You’re – you’re really…”

“My name is Malibu Jared© and I’m here to have fun!” Jared starts in an incredibly warm, friendly voice. “While I have the same qualities as every other Jared© there is – friendship, compassion, and integrity, I personally was made to hit the beach! Just put me in my dream house with my best friend Malibu Sandy©, and we can play and learn together!”

“That’s from the back of your box!” Ryan shrieks, clapping her hands together. Jensen blinks. That is from the back of the box. He remembers reading it before he bought Ryan the damn thing.

“Holy shit,” Jensen mumbles. “The toy really is alive.”

“Daddy!” Ryan chides. “No bad words.”

“Do you believe me, Jensen?” Jared asks hopefully. Jensen looks up to see warm, honest eyes and the prettiest smile in the world. He swallows and nods dumbly because what other explanation is there? Jared’s smile stretches into a grin and he bounces over to wrap his muscular arms around both Jensen and Ryan. He smells fantastic. Jensen can make out sea salt and the faint scent of sunscreen. And also maybe just the barest hint of plastic, but that could just be his imagination. “We’re going to have so much fun together!”

Jensen pinches himself and it hurts. This isn’t a dream. He really has the giant, warm arms of his daughter’s favorite toy wrapped around him.

This can’t be good.


“I don’t want to go to school, Daddy!” Ryan pouts and crosses her arms when Jensen tries valiantly to put her backpack on. “I want to stay with Jared!”

“School is important,” Jared says brightly. He’s still in his pink swim trunks and Jensen is momentarily distracted. Jared just looks so happy, like someone seeing the sun after years of only clouds and rain. Most of all, he looks grateful. “Go to school, Ryan. Learn a lot. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Promise?” Ryan asks. Jared grins and leans down to stick out his pinky. Jensen doesn’t know why he expected his fingers to be fused together like they were when he was a doll. He looks perfectly human.

“Promise,” Jared says as Ryan wraps her pinky around his. “I’ll be right here. Now have fun!”

There’s a knock on the door, Danneel, and Jensen jumps a little. He turns to Jared and pushes at his shoulder. “Go wait in Ryan’s room and don’t make a sound, okay? I do not want to try to explain this right now.”

Jared does what he’s told with minimal pouting. Jensen turns to Ryan and leans down to put his hands on her little shoulders.

“Do not tell anyone about this, okay Ryan?” He pleads. She tilts her head to the side. “Not even Danny. Please, baby. Just keep it a secret for now.”

“Okay, Daddy,” Ryan agrees after a few moments of thought. “I promise. For now. You and Jared have fun!”

Jensen lets out a pained noise and Ryan pulls open the door. Jensen nods at Danneel and watches as she takes Ryan’s hand and leads her out of the apartment.

Jensen starts a pot of coffee and calls in sick to work. He waits until he can down a whole cup of coffee without burning his mouth and stares at Ryan’s bedroom door. After a few moments of wild panic, he enters. Jared is sitting on the end of the bed, still only in his swim trunks. Jensen should probably do something about that. Jared is just looking around, cataloging everything with his expressive eyes. His hand is pressed firmly to his chest and his index finger is tapping against his skin in a rhythm that Jensen can only assume matches his heartbeat.

As soon as Jensen fully enters the room Jared gets up. He stares at Jensen for a long moment, smile softening into something fond, and then steps forward to pull Jensen into a tight hug. Jensen stiffens but Jared doesn’t relent. He just crushes Jensen in his strong grasp and spreads his fingers out across the expanse of Jensen’s lower back. Jensen can’t deny that it feels good. Jared is warm and strong and he smells like summer…

No. He’s a doll.

“Jensen,” Jared says as his hand slides through the dip between Jensen’s shoulder blades. “I’m so glad I get to officially meet you. I’ve wanted to – oh, there’s something I wanted to tell you for so long.”

Jensen blinks as he eventually rests his chin on Jared’s shoulder. It’s obvious that while Jared’s body was created this morning, his mind wasn’t. He knows things – things that he must have picked up over time. The fact that Jared was trapped inside that plastic doll, watching them, sends a small shiver through Jensen’s body.

“You’re an amazing father, Jensen,” Jared says when Jensen only remains silent. “I know you worry about it sometimes, but trust me, Ryan thinks you’re the best dad in the entire world. She tells me all the time and I’ve seen the way you act with her.”

“Um, thanks.” Jensen blushes slightly and brings his hands up to hug Jared back. He doesn’t always think he’s the greatest father and it’s nice to hear that someone thinks he is. Even if that someone is a doll. Was a doll?

Jensen clears his throat and pulls away from Jared’s comforting embrace. Jared smiles at him, excited and expectant. Jared’s enthusiasm is barely contained. He looks ready to break into song or take off running or anything that will burn off the barely concealed energy that is thrumming through his entire body.

“So, we should talk,” Jensen says slowly. Jared nods and bounces once on his heels. The action sends the muscles in his torso rippling. “But, uh, first things first. You should probably get some clothes on.”

“Okay,” Jared says agreeably. “Sure. Um, where are they?”

Jensen looks down on the floor, at all the toys scattered all over Ryan’s room, and leans down to pick up a teeny tiny button down shirt. He holds it up to Jared’s smooth chest. It barely covers a nipple.

“Well, that’s no good,” Jared says. He sounds sort of disappointed. He huffs and runs his fingers through his hair. “There’s a pool downstairs, right?”

“What?” Jensen replies. Fantastic. A living doll with a tiny attention span. “Oh, yeah, there is.”

“Then let’s go swimming!” Jared claps once and reaches out to grab Jensen’s shoulders. “It’ll be fun.”

“We can’t go swimming right now,” Jensen replies. Jared looks crestfallen, like he wants to experience everything in the entire world all at once and Jensen is the only thing holding him back.

“Why not? Oh, is there no lifeguard on duty?” Jared asks solemnly. He suddenly brightens and drops down onto his knees. He starts digging through the pink plastic dream house and finally jumps back onto his feet. He shoves a teeny tiny piece of paper under Jensen’s nose. “It’s okay, see? I’m certified!”

Malibu Jared© came with a multitude of accessories.

“No, Jared!” Jensen tries not to raise his voice. He takes a deep breath like he does when Ryan really pisses him off. “We need to talk. We need to figure out what you’re doing here!”

“Oh, that’s easy. I know what I’m doing here,” Jared says breezily. He pins Jensen with a strangely knowing gaze. “Don’t you?”

“No!” Jensen replies loudly. “Care to freakin’ enlighten me?”

“Nothing is ever accomplished by yelling, Jensen.” Jared shakes his head and then looks down at himself. “I thought you wanted me to get dressed?”

Jensen blinks, stares, and takes another deep breath.

“You – just – ugh, come on.” Jensen grabs Jared by the wrist and drags him into his bedroom. He digs through his closet but it’s pretty useless. Jared is fucking gigantic. He finally finds a pair of sweats that are too big for him and a baggy v-neck tee. He turns around and holds them out to Jared. “Here.”

Jared merely stares at the clothes and looks back up at Jensen.

“What?” Jensen asks. “This is all I got right now.”

“No, I mean,” Jared says uneasily. “Aren’t you going to put them on me?” Jensen blinks and Jared puts his hand over his mouth. “Oh, right. People put on their own clothes.” He laughs and twirls his index finger in a circle near his temple. “Sorry. I’m still a little confused. Being here is going to take some getting used to.”

He takes the clothes and pulls them on over his pink swim trunks. It helps a little but that tee is still so tight. Jensen rolls his eyes and gestures him out into the kitchen. They each take a seat at the counter and Jensen pours himself another cup of coffee.

“So,” Jensen starts. “Tell me why you’re sitting in my kitchen instead of riding in my daughter’s backpack.”

“Jensen, you were there last night,” Jared tells him. “You and Ryan wished this and then you kissed me.”

“But – but dolls don’t just come to life because someone wishes them to!” Jensen declares. “If that were true, there’d be thousands of dolls walking around!”

“Ryan is a very special girl,” Jared says seriously. “There is no limit to her imagination. It’s very powerful. It’s what has always allowed us to communicate. She truly believed with all her heart that her wish would come true. And so it did.”

Jared seems so serious in that moment, so mature and grown up. Jensen tilts his head and studies his face carefully.

“What?” Jared asks. “Oh, come on, Jensen. I may have come alive today but I wasn’t born yesterday.”

“I see that, for all the sense it makes,” Jensen tells him. For some reason this fact relaxes him a little. A fully competent adult is a lot easier to deal with than an overgrown, overexcited man-child. Even if Jared does have the attention span of a gnat with brain damage. “So you’re here because Ryan wished it?”

“Yes,” Jared says happily. “I’m here because she wants you to be happy. And I’m supposed to do it.”

“And how’s that?” Jensen asks with a raised eyebrow. Jared shrugs and looks into Jensen’s eyes like he’s searching for something. “So, you’re pretty much here to stay? You’re not going to pop back into doll form over dinner?”

“Well, yeah.” Jared looks nervous for a moment, like the thought of changing back had never occurred to him and he desperately doesn’t want to. “I sincerely hope not, anyway.”

Jensen lets out a sigh and rubs his temples. This is far too much to deal with. Last night Ryan had a favorite toy. This morning that toy is sitting in his kitchen and leveling him with a penetrating stare.

Life is fucking weird.

It’s a good thing Jensen has experience with rolling with the punches. Maybe this is only temporary. Maybe Jensen just needs to have some fun and then Jared will return to his original form.

Maybe he’s stuck with a six-and-a-half foot walking and talking Malibu Jared© doll forever. Only one way to find out. He just has to roll with it.

“Okay, Jared,” Jensen says calmly. “We’ve gotta figure some things out. Lay some ground rules.” He looks Jared up and down. “We have to take you shopping. You can’t wear that forever.”

“Shopping?” Jared exclaims brightly. “Let’s go!”

Jensen can’t help it. He laughs.


They go to Target. Jensen is on a budget, okay?

Jared doesn’t seem to mind. He tackles the men’s department with enthusiasm. The summer wardrobe has just been put out and Jared couldn’t be more thrilled.

Jared grabs a few pairs of brightly colored cargo shorts and various tee shirts, and then on Jensen’s suggestion he also gets a few pairs of jeans and some button downs. After that it’s just socks, underwear, a pair or two of shoes, and they’re good to go.

Well, Jared can’t leave without a pair of awesome sunglasses and a puka shell necklace. He is from Malibu, after all.

Jensen is relieved to see that Jared acts relatively normal in public. Jensen doesn’t really know what he expected, but he’s glad Jared doesn’t run around reciting the blurb from the back of his box to every person that he meets.

They get some burgers and Jared dives into them with gusto. His company is perfectly pleasurable, but that doesn’t change the fact that twelve hours ago he was eight inches tall and made of plastic.

Jensen calls Misha once they get back into the apartment and Jared bounces off to take a shower. He tells him to get over here, pronto, don’t ask any questions, and then hangs up.

“Hey Jensen?” Jared calls from the master bedroom. Jensen turns and walks in to see Jared with a tiny towel wrapped around his slim hips. Water runs down his chest and stomach in thin rivulets and Jensen’s eyes are drawn to the narrow trail of hair leading from Jared’s belly button to underneath the towel. “What should I wear?”

“Huh?” Jensen asks dumbly. He’s still trying to process the fact that his daughter’s toy is the hottest thing on two legs.

“I’ve never really had to think about clothes before,” Jared admits. “My outfits are usually just sort of… there.”

“Oh. Um, I like the blue. And the jeans,” Jensen says absently. The doorbell rings and Jensen turns to flee before Jared can change.

He answers the door to see a concerned Misha on the other side. He plows past Jensen and into the apartment.

“Dude, what the hell?” Misha asks frantically. “Why aren’t you at work? What’s going on? Oh my god, is Ryan okay?”

“Ryan’s fine,” Jensen replies. He scratches the back of his head, unsure of where to begin. Jared comes around the corner at that moment, all dressed and hair combed into its usual style.

Misha lets out a squeak and jumps backwards, slamming against the wall. “Oh holy shit. Is that…?”

“Misha!” Jared exclaims. He rushes forward and pulls Misha into a hug. It’s nowhere near as long and lingering as Jensen’s was, but it’s close. “It’s so good to meet you!”

Misha’s eyes widen and he stares at Jensen helplessly over Jared’s shoulder.

“He does that,” Jensen says. He swallows and shifts his weight from foot to foot. “Uh, Misha. This is Jared. You know, Jared.”

“Are you trying to tell me this is some Velveteen Rabbit type of shit?” Misha says once Jared pulls away. “Ryan’s love made the pretty boy doll real?”

“Love has a little to do with it,” Jared says serenely. “Mostly it’s because she believes. Belief is a powerful part of magic.”

“You’re the one that taught her all that shit,” Jensen says, turning away from Jared and staring at Misha head-on. “Imagination and magic and make-believe.”

“Exactly, Jen. Make-believe.” Jensen stares at him and Misha rolls his eyes. “What, do you think I gave her a magic spell or something? I have no idea how this happened!”

“Can you fix it?” Jensen pleads. Misha stares at him incredulously. “Change him back?”

He’s not sure what causes the sudden one-eighty. He was ready to just go with it – ride it out. He thinks maybe he was too content in Jared’s company. He’s a fucking doll. There’s no way Jensen should be calm right now.

“Dude, I write children’s books,” Misha replies. “I’m not a fucking sorcerer.”

“Fuck!” Jensen exclaims. Jared clears his throat and Jensen tenses. He completely forgot Jared was even standing there. He turns to face Jared and he looks hurt, devastated even. His bright eyes are dimmed and his wide smile has been pulled down into a heartbreaking frown.

Jared opens his mouth to say something, closes it, and then turns in the direction of Ryan’s bedroom.

“Fuck!” Jensen yells again. He doesn’t curse that often, force of habit from being around his kid, but he can’t seem to help it right now.

“Now look what you did, you asshole,” Misha tells him. He seems to have no problem with accepting the fact that a toy has come to life. “You hurt his feelings.”

“He’s a doll!” Jensen shouts. Misha rolls his eyes. “He doesn’t have feelings!”

“Not anymore, man! He’s a real person with real feelings and you just hurt like, every single one of them. You big fat jerk.” Jensen drops onto the couch and Misha sits down next to him. He huffs a sigh and then leans forward to rest his elbows on his knees and look over at Jensen. “So how’d this happen?”

“I don’t even know,” Jensen says as he slides his fingers into his hair. “I just woke up and he was alive. Ryan said she wished he would come to life and make me happy so I wouldn’t be lonely anymore.”

“Aww,” Misha coos. “That is the sweetest and saddest thing I’ve ever heard in my entire life. You’re an asshole.”

“I’m an asshole,” Jensen agrees. “Shit, I have to go talk to him.”

Misha nods and Jensen gets up, letting out a deep breath as he heads for Ryan’s room. He knocks once on the door and then enters. Jared is sitting cross-legged on the floor holding one of his tiny doll shirts. His brows are furrowed and he looks upset.

“Hey Jared,” Jensen says softly. Jared looks up to meet his eyes. “Can we talk?”

“It’s your house,” Jared replies. He sets the tiny shirt on the floor near the rest and picks at his perfectly manicured fingernails.

“I’m sorry for what I said,” Jensen says honestly. “I’m just a little freaked out.”

“I understand that this isn’t easy for you, and that you didn’t ask for this and that you don’t want this,” Jared says solemnly, turning to face him. It’s strangely dim in Ryan’s room. Only the sunlight filtering through the pink curtains gives them anything to see by. “But Jensen, you have no idea how badly I wanted this. Every single day I asked for this. All I’ve ever wanted is a heart that beats. I wanted somewhere I really belonged. And I feel like that place is here, with you and with Ryan. But I understand that you don’t feel the same. I’m not sure why I was so certain that you would.”

“It’s not that I don’t feel that way,” Jensen says softly. He puts his arm around Jared’s shoulders and pulls him close. Jared is warm and slots up against his side almost like a puzzle piece. It’s slightly disconcerting, even more so when Jensen realizes that he doesn’t exactly want to let go. “It’s just a lot to take in. Ryan absolutely adores you. I mean, she loves you enough to get us into this situation in the first place and I can’t deny that. You’re welcome here, Jared.”

“Thank you,” Jared says politely. He smiles a little but it’s nowhere near his megawatt Malibu grin. “When is Ryan going to be back?”

Jensen checks his watch. This is probably the longest Ryan and Jared have ever been separated since she got him. Jensen knows what it’s like to miss that little girl something fierce.

“She’ll be out of school soon,” Jensen tells him. “We can go pick her up. And then, um, we can go swimming?”

“I’d like that,” Jared says softly. He smiles and Jensen smiles back – an automatic response.


When they get home from picking up Ryan, she runs into her room to change into her swimsuit and grab her floaties. Jensen changes into his dark green board shorts in his bathroom and when he comes out Jared is once again clad in only his signature pink trunks.

They play in the pool for a long time, until their fingers are all pruny and their eyes burn with chlorine. At first Jensen sits on the edge and watches Jared and Ryan play from behind his sunglasses. He’s not ready to trust Jared with his daughter unsupervised.

“Daddy, come on!” Ryan shouts. Jensen sticks his tongue out and splashes her with his foot. Jared leaves Ryan safely in the shallow end and swims gracefully over to where Jensen is sitting. He surges up out of the water and hooks his elbows over Jensen’s knees. Jensen swallows.

“Why aren’t you swimming?” Jared asks. Jensen shrugs and Jared gives him a smirk. He places his large hands on Jensen’s hips and pulls. Jensen has little choice but to lock his knees around Jared’s flanks or go toppling forward into the water.

Jared pulls them away from the side of the pool and Jensen unlocks his knees. He slides down Jared’s body until his feet touch the cement bottom and he’s looking up into Jared’s eyes with his chin just barely above the water. They’re chest to chest, hip to hip, and Jensen shivers even though the pool is heated.

“Swim,” Jared says throatily, his lips just inches from Jensen’s. He nods and Jared grins, releasing Jensen before swimming back over to Ryan. He picks her up over his head and she squeals with delight. Jared lets out a loud roar and then throws her into the water. She laughs and paddles over to Jensen, clinging to his arm and grinning harder than Jensen has ever seen.

“Your turn!” She shrieks happily. Jensen grins and grabs Ryan, tossing her up in the air. She lands in the water with a laugh and a splash. Who knew throwing his child could be so much fun?

Ryan paddles around in the shallow end and Jared swims up to Jensen. He puts his hands on Jensen’s hips under the water, thumbs brushing bone. “You want a turn?” Jared is smirking, eyes gone dark. If Jensen didn’t know any better, he would swear that Jared was flirting with him.

“Uh, I’m good,” Jensen chuckles. Jared smiles and squeezes his hips once before letting go.

“Suit yourself,” Jared says with a smirk. Ryan paddles spastically up behind Jared and jumps up on his shoulders. He slips under the water with a squeak and Jensen catches Ryan as she topples forward.

By the time they finally exit the pool, Jensen’s eyes are burning almost as badly as his sides. He hasn’t laughed that hard in a long time. He never knew a crappy little public pool could be so much fun.

Jared swaddles Ryan up in a towel and gives her a piggyback ride back up to the apartment. Jensen watches them fondly and makes note of his little girl’s happy smile when she rests her head against Jared’s shoulder.

So maybe he was a doll. He’s a person now, someone his daughter cares about very much. Jared went from an inextricable toy to an inextricable person because of one wish. Doesn’t matter how he got here, magic or powerful imagination, Jensen knows that Jared is here to stay.

They order pizza for dinner and sit on the floor in the living room, picking at it while they watch a movie of Ryan’s choosing.

She falls asleep with her feet in Jared’s lap and her head pressed against Jensen’s side. Jared turns to look at her and then smiles widely at Jensen. It’s his big smile, his Malibu smile, and Jensen can’t help but return it.

So all in all, it wasn’t exactly a bad day.


The next week goes by easier than Jensen ever could have imagined it.

Jared sleeps on the futon in the guest room, an old relic from Jensen’s college days, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Jared is very easily pleased and just as easily amused. He is rarely seen without a grateful or excited smile on his face and although it’s been happening with less frequency, sometimes Jensen still catches him pressing his hand to his chest.

Jensen now knows what that means. Jared is marveling over his very own beating heart. It’s a beautiful thing to witness, and one day Jensen grabs Jared’s wrist, fingers positioning just right, and says the pulse is strong with this one. Jared smiles warmly and gives Jensen the greatest hug of his entire life, which wasn’t really the reaction he was expecting but he certainly doesn’t complain.

He’s helpful, too. Although he was created as a Malibu Jared©, he really does possess the abilities of the entire series of Jared© dolls. Chef Jared© happily cooks for them, Doctor Jared© patches up Ryan’s scraped knee, and Teacher Jared© even helps her with her homework. There doesn’t seem to be anything that Jared can’t do.

“If only there was an Architect Jared©,” Jensen says one night after Ryan has gone to bed. He’s sitting at the drafting table tucked in the back corner of the living room. His back, shoulders, and neck ache and he pulls off his glasses to pinch the bridge of his nose. He’s been staring at the same blueprints for hours now. They’re not quite perfect yet. He needs them to be perfect.

“If only,” Jared replies wistfully. He sets a steaming cup of coffee down a safe distance away from the blueprints. Finding out there had been a limited edition Starbucks Barista Jared© had almost been enough to make him propose. The coffee is that good. “You look really stressed.”

“I am,” Jensen replies. He stares down at the blueprints with a twisted grimace. It needs something. He just doesn’t know what. “I just… I need this. If I make junior partner, I’ll be able to really provide for Ryan.”

“Yeah, I noticed Sandy has her convertible and I don’t have my Jeep. What’s up with that, cheapskate?” Jared asks playfully. Jensen looks up at him with a smirk and Jared’s expression softens. “You’re a great father, Jensen. Having more money to spend on her isn’t going to change that. She doesn’t want you to buy her things. She just wants you.”

Jensen smiles and looks down at the picture of Ryan stuck to the corner of his drafting table. There are pictures of Ryan everywhere. Jensen doesn’t want to go five minutes without seeing her smiling face.

Jared comes up behind him and places his large hands gently on Jensen’s shoulders. He presses into tight knots of muscle with his thumbs and Jensen groans.

“You gonna tell me that there’s a Masseuse Jared© too?” Jensen mumbles. Jared chuckles, a low rumble from deep in his chest, and his hands feel so amazing.

“Some things are just learned, Jensen,” Jared says softly. His hands trace the lines of Jensen’s shoulder blades and he sighs. He tries not to think about what he feels for Jared, the clench he gets in his belly when Jared smiles, the way he shivers whenever Jared brushes against him. It’s complicated and confusing and he’d just rather not go there. “Not everything in me was put there by Mattel.”

Jensen chuckles and then groans softly when Jared’s fingers tackle a knot of muscle. His eyes slip shut and he lets his head lull forward. He can almost feel Jared’s breath warm against the back of his neck.

“I have my own thoughts,” Jared says in a near whisper. His hands dip under the collar of Jensen’s shirt to curl around his shoulders. “I have things that I want.”

“Yeah?” Jensen feels boneless and sloppy, loose and sleepy from Jared’s massage. He lets out a soft sigh as Jared’s fingers skim up the side of his neck.

“Yeah,” Jared replies lowly. A fingertip traces the shell of his ear and then Jared’s thumbs are back to work on the base of his neck. “Now just relax.”

“Mm, relax,” Jensen sighs. A sudden thought occurs to him and his eyes pop open. He pulls away from Jared’s hands and slips on his glasses, leaning over the blueprints again. “That’s it! Relax.”

“Huh?” Jared asks. His hands slide down Jensen’s back and then fall away. Jensen grins and grabs a pencil. He sticks it behind his ear and downs his coffee. It’s going to be a long night, but that’s okay. He sees it now.

“Relax the lines,” Jensen says excitedly. “The angles are too sharp. It looks too industrial. Almost uninviting. Relaxing the lines will add warmth and that’s what this design needs. Shit, that’s it.”

Jensen spins around in his chair and throws his arms around Jared’s neck. He’s shirtless, as he often tends to be, and Jensen melts against his warmth. Jared gives out so many hugs that Jensen has gotten used to his warm embrace. He’s even found himself seeking it out. It’s comforting.

“Thanks Jared,” Jensen tells him. “You totally saved my ass.”

“You’re welcome,” Jared says softly. He pulls back and looks into Jensen’s eyes. His gaze flickers downward for just a moment and he steps away. “Well, I guess I’ll leave you to it. Night, Jensen.”

Jensen nods and then spins around in his chair. He’s so excited and so enthralled with his new idea that he doesn’t even notice that Jared makes sure his coffee cup is full before he goes to bed.

Jensen’s hand curls absently around the mug and he lets the warmth seep into his fingers.

[onto to part two.]