morphinebaby

_morphinebaby @ 2008-09-04T22:59:00

2008-09-05T03:15:08Z

sometimes i want to be a participant and other times just a spectator. i don't see why this shouldn't be okay. not wanting to interact is not necessarily an indication of unhappiness. forced interaction and unwanted attention can be a strain felt through every piece of your skin. an unreasonable awareness of each strand of hair, each wrinkle in your clothing, each falter in your enunciation or tone. it can be pleasant and comforting to sit one out and not have to be alone to do so. it's unfortunate that only people who are extremely unaware, or extreme self-absorbed, can offer this situation. though it does allow for some kind of appreciation towards those i'd normally find irritating.

_morphinebaby @ 2008-09-02T18:21:00

2008-09-02T22:30:22Z

i was there again lying flat and staring up at nothingness when a wish crossed and i had the thought once more that i just dont know whats important if anything is
it inhabits places so temporarily as if there is nowhere real for it to settle so as soon as you focus on it its gone and youre empty

_morphinebaby @ 2008-08-28T21:27:00

2008-08-29T01:27:35Z

and if he asks but why am i alive the response will always be 'you just are'

_morphinebaby @ 2008-08-04T13:01:00

2008-08-04T17:02:47Z

this world
a layer that deserves ridicule
a layer that deserves hatred
a layer that deserves compassion

_morphinebaby @ 2008-07-19T00:05:00

2008-07-19T04:09:56Z

its flowery and pretty but infected the idea that reality will wreck anything at anytime is awareness that id rather live without its too sad to know that nothing is beautiful

_morphinebaby @ 2008-07-03T03:20:00

2008-07-03T07:21:26Z

i think thats always the case but it takes some stirring to realize ignorance was there all along

_morphinebaby @ 2008-01-08T21:04:00

2008-01-09T02:03:25Z

nope.