|Monday, March 27th, 2006|
|Friday, March 10th, 2006|
|Tuesday, March 7th, 2006|
|Wednesday, February 8th, 2006|
|Ups charges toooooo much!
Yesterday was a fantastic day.
I went to my my first hockey game, shopseys and came back home - it was a great date and i have no complaints.
It was also one of the first times I was truly happy couldnt think of anything bad in the world - even though so many other areas of my life are slightly jumbled and have sooo much going on.
Today was also fantastic! I went out for lunch with my mum and when I got home I found the valentines day present that I bought for Danu had arrived on my front door step. I think he'll love it. I have found the ideal valentines day present for every girl to give to a guy... it's really perfect if I may so so myself. ;)
this year is starting off damn well.. i must say! Current Mood: ecstatic
|Tuesday, January 24th, 2006|
Those ice blue eyes ----------OOOOOOOOOOHHH YEAH!
Feeling soo refreshed right now.
Today was a good day - all around. Morning till night.
|Friday, January 6th, 2006|
|Some people have all the luck
So I've been doing a lot of thinking and wanted to write this post - more to myself than anything else.
I hope it's not that I am too picky or that my expectations are too high but I always figured that once I was in a relationship - a longlasting one it would be because everything was great and I wouldnt want to be with anyone else. Thats sort of the case but not 100%. I'm really happy with the guy I've been seeing but there are so many important things missing.. is this how it's supposed to be or am I supposed to move on?
I dont feel like I'm settling for the guy but it definitely feels as if I'm giving up a lot of important qualities in a person that are almost too important to give up.
I dont know what to do... There is no question that I like him but I feel as if I need these qualities. Is it possible for him to change and develop them because I truly dont feel like it would be too much of an adjustment. If it's asking too much maybe I should move on because I can't sacrifice all of these dreams that I've had of the type of guy that I would be with...
The qualities that I'm looking for are pretty reasonable:.. someone sweet, romantic, emotionally expressive, decently intelligent and generous. If that's too much then I'll have a problem but I've just decided there will be no settling on my part.. Current Mood: confused
|Sunday, April 24th, 2005|
Chag Sameach/Happy Pesach to everyone!
hope you're all having a good sedar!
|Sunday, March 27th, 2005|
Why are celebrities soooo cruel to their children?
First Gwenyth Paltrow names her kid apple.. now Jon Davies from Korn has named his son Pirate. What is wrong with them?! every heard of a baby naming book?
geez.. just mean...
|Thursday, March 24th, 2005|
I hate these Asshole Scalper "Weezer fans" who buy tickets on the Edge Presale and then automatically put the tickets for triple or quadruple the price on Ebay!
Who do they think they are?!
There are OLD weezer fans *me* who want to go for a decent price who are buying tickets to actually see/hear the music performed. STOP trying to make a profit off other peoples talent.
I hate them!
Now I'll have to wait in line on a saturday morning.
|Tuesday, March 8th, 2005|
|Wednesday, March 2nd, 2005|
|What a coincidence!?!
Current Mood: happy
You Are 21 Years Old
Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.
13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.
20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.
30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!
40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.
|Monday, February 28th, 2005|
I think I'm gradually understanding what it is that I'm looking for. It's not like this is a new feeling for me, but I think that I'm starting to understand that it is the details that matter most.
I've had incredible friends that have been supporting me and have been listening to my constant analytic rants, without them I doubt that I would have discovered as much as I have.
For now, I'm aware that I can't force something that is not there and that I need to be more patient with my future and understand that what is coming to me will come to me in its own time. This is referring to more than just relationships.
I also learned that settling for something is not the right answer and that your instincts should be trusted. Having said all of this, 'Bring it on!'
I'm ready for whatever comes my way. :) Current Mood: thoughtful
|Tuesday, February 15th, 2005|
|It's the most wonderful time of the year...
I LOVE VALENTINES DAY!
this one wasn't especially special, but I love it anyways
I wish it came about more than once a year :)
... but maybe it wouldnt feel as special then. damn. Oh well!
I love it anyways. Current Mood: cheerful
|Saturday, February 12th, 2005|
|One of those dreams
I woke up this morning and had such a strange dream... one of the best ones I've ever had but it was really strange. So strange that I'm not going to go through one of those 'what does it all mean?' stages. I'm just going to accept it as a great great semi-experience.
In the dream I was somehow involved in an arranged marriage and I didnt know anything about the person who I'd be marrying. I was told that I had to meet someone in an apartment and that I'd find clues to work on from there.
I arrived at this apartment alone and Art Garfunkel was there, except he was much younger... maybe 35. It was really strange.. not even possible to describe. Anyways, as the day moved on and I was moving things to this new apartment of mine little hints starteg to come together and it was revealed to me that I was going to be married to Paul Simon, also age 35; but Paul Simon didn't go by that name anymore - he went by Simon Fuller (strange considering i'm not a big watcher of american idol but that name just happened to sneak in there).
Now the stranger thing that made this dream perfect - Paul Simon/Simon Fuller looked exactly like Jay Gordon of Orgy (except maybe a bit more masculine and not as toothpick-ish). Soo sooo strange. Beautiful would be an understatement. :$
Quick cut to the next scene - I'm with a few friends and I'm going shopping in a convenience store except with no money...
The cashier sparks up a conversation about discontinued items and pulls out a box of these crazy products. One of the items, the most appealing of the bunch, was a box of fireworks, but this was no ordinary box! It was huge.. like the size of 2 standard doors put together and it only cost $40!
Obviously this purchase would be impossible since I didn't have any money but all of a sudden out of nowhere someone screams through the door "I'm buying!" and it happened to be Paul Simon/Simon Fuller/Jay Gordon. I dont know really.
Anyways, left the store feeling elated. And Jay Gordon was sitting out in his car with his friends as well.. I can't explain it really.. what was strange is I kept waking up and falling asleep and the dream just kept on going.
I want more of these dreams.. strange as they are... :) Current Mood: giddy
|Wednesday, February 9th, 2005|
Ok.. so I put a lot of thought into everything that happened last night and I realized it's a good thing that this happened.
I'm going to have to start trusting my instincts a tiny bit more and not take other peoples influence to heart.
From now on it's time to search for the silver lining.
It's a new day and I already feel way better. Current Mood: optimistic
That hurt. It really hurt.
Sitting on the phone with someone who has been claiming that they've liked you for almost 2 years and right when it seems as if a relationship is about to begin, suddenly they drop a bomb on you - they've been lying to you and have been seeing someone else.
This hurt me so much I'm not sure how to express myself. I understand why he'd get back with his ex, but for this to be the way to let me know...
This happened minutes ago, literally. I've been fighting back tears because I realize now that it wasn't worth it.. all of this time just wasnt worth it; all the effort; all the dates and conversations and trying not to hurt eachothers feelings; and this is how it ends up?!
I feel nauseous.
What hurts most is knowing that I've been lied to for over a month. Don't tell me how strong your feelings are and how you have genuinly never felt this way for someone; while being in another relationship at the same time and covering it up. Don't dangle ideas of valentine's day dates above me and then act as if it was all a mistake that you're sorry for. How can someone expect that an apology be enough.
I'm more scared now than ever that this is going to make the wall that I have surrounding/protecting me even stronger. I've been trying to let this wall down for years and as it slowly began to crumble this had to happen. Current Mood: rejected
|Saturday, February 5th, 2005|
I've been missing my friend Gideon for such a long time. I saw him over the summer and it was fantastic.. we hung out the whole day and it seemed like neither of us really wanted it to end..
Finally, when we separated and he got on the bus heading to New York, we had a 'small' tear fest..
Since he arrived back in England we've been in constant contact and have continuously discussed some sort of visit... Today was one of those drunken msn conversations... now, if possible, I miss him even more.
We've decided we're going to have to meet up soon - most likely in Israel! I can't wait!!! :) Current Mood: excited
|Thursday, February 3rd, 2005|
Today was a pretty typical day working at the elementary school I volunteer at. Everything was the same.. went to my classes, taught some math and spelling, took my break up in Ryan's room.
While up there something was said by Ryan that made me feel as if everything had changed.. not really with his personality or anything like that.. maybe it was just another added side to him. I spent some time talking to him about how great the concert was, being sure NOT to over-do it, as we were talking he said something to me. He said something that made me realize he wasn't just the regular "nice guy" that he was presenting to me - he was the type of guy that I have grown up hating since I moved to Canada.
He was discussing his friends and happened to mention a whole bunch of people from Northland that he described as "good & nice friends" - now... not to sound too judgemental, but these were not the type of people that I would call 'good'. Aside from remembering many terrible things that these people did to eachother, as well as others, I started to notice a theme. All of these friends were "attractive people" (both guys and girls).
I didn't really react much to it cause it was just something minor that I had noticed... nothing was concrete here. After school we got to talking again and he started talking about the importance of 'physical beauty' - I decided to straight out ask him "are you friends with any people who aren't attractive?" Well. His answer was a very strong and solid "no". He didn't even seem to understand how much this would bother me. No reaction whatsoever!
I'm still really stunned. I don't know what to think.. this guy claimed to be the least superficial guy out there, yet he claimed that if people arent interested in making themselves up and taking a huge amount of care for their physical selves, he simply wasn't interested. So I decided to ask a follow up question, "What if the person was just born 'unattractive' but was a genuinely great person?" His answer - "well, I'd be nice to them but I probably wouldnt become their friend."
Who are you?
Where did the 'sweet' & 'sensitive' guy go?
Anyways.. I didn't know what to think about this whole thing so I explained to him that I wasn't really sure if I was complimented by the fact that he 'likes' me. I started to realize that maybe it's totally because of my looks - or my face, because I definately am not one who invests much time into my physical appearance.
So we left on what I felt was pretty strange terms, though I'm pretty sure he was unaware of this. I still am not sure how to not be mad about this whole thing.. maybe it's my background and the whole "forest hill experience" that has made me truly sensitive to the superficial attitude of people, but I really don't think I'll ever accept it. I don't think many people are really aware of how painful a rejection is for the person who is being rejected.. especially for such shallow reasons.
Looks are NOT Everything! Current Mood: rejected
|Tuesday, February 1st, 2005|
|Wow.. Maid of Honour!?!?! Big Day!
Today I found out some crazy news!
I've been asked to be someones Maid of Honour!
My old roommate is getting married! :)
The whole thing is kinda strange cause she's sooo young, but I'm damn happy for her. She's really in love!
Her story is overflowing with romance. They met at one of the many jobs she was working while at York and he was her 'supervisor.' After going out for a few months, he was forced to move to South Korea for some random job and she needed to move back home cause she wasn't able to afford life in Canada.
A few months passed and 'Voila!' .. all I can think of saying is Congratulations. This will be one of the most interesting events I have experienced, thus far.
The wedding will likely take place next January. :) Current Mood: hopeful