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[20 Jul 2005|11:56pm] |
I've become so numb
To nearly everything
Pain. Anguish--
They're the only things that are real.
If I take the blade and draw across my flesh
Will it help?
Momentarily relieve the hollowing sensation
mind-numbing, searing pain that knows no end
And if I dare, I could draw the razor edge in deeper
forever end my pain.
Should I welcome oblivion with open arms?
Or embrace the pain, the only thing that's real?
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[20 Jul 2005|04:34pm] |
Opinions jostled out the window
Words once caught in my throat
Torn back down
Meaningless
Pointless
If this is what you asked for
Then why isn't it what you wanted?
Could you consider,
For once
The trepidatious feelings of another
Instead of glowering in the self-induldgence you chose
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[05 Jul 2005|01:25am] |
Words that hit like a shot to the head
Eyes, once kind and forgiving
Are murderous, filled with venom
His heart falls in crystal shards
Shattering as the hit the stone floor
A wicked smile plays upon her lips-
Had she known that it would come to this?
Did she plan it all out from the start?
Questions, they matter not. They
Do not change the outcome
The do not heal the pain that boils
Within his broken soul
Packed bags crowd the door,
She’s making her stand
Against his love, betrayal of his trust.
Another relationship failed
Another shattered person
One more love broken down, paired with hate
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[05 Jul 2005|01:21am] |
I kill myself a new way
every day
Each one selfish and sincere.
Choking on the lies you fed me
I lash out on the only person I can
M-y-s-e-l-f.
So trusting, caring; stupid.
“I love you”
Wasted words
Told \/Given to a heart
Cold as stone.
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[05 Jul 2005|01:00am] |
How do you know you're alive?
Is it the pulse roaring in your veins,
The air that fills your lungs,
The wind rushing through your hair?
Does the touch of another prove it?
Their skin caressing your skin?
The taste of their lips crushing against yours?
Your racing heart as they‘re taking all of you in,
Or the taste of pure adrenaline coursing through out your entire being?
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[22 Jun 2005|03:08pm] |
Last night the moon was on fire. It hung in the sky, looming, laughing. As it stared down unblinkingly upon this wreched world, I stared back, wondering if anyone else was thinking the same thing. If anyone else on the planet was staring up at the same strange moon in awe.
It was beautiful, the moon, a strange full moon full of promise that there is always beauty out there, there are always things that haven't been seen. Brighter things on the horizon, as it were, and I want to see all of them.
Even staring at something as...mundane (as some people would say), made me realize how little I have seen and experienced. It makes me crave more. I want to see the landscapes of Europe, taste the air full of spices in the middle east, to see the pyramids of eygpt-- all of it.
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[21 Jun 2005|12:38am] |
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The world around me, I fear, is not at all as it seems. Pretend and folly, someone I'm not creeps along the surface. Chaining me within my misery. How can I move past this and believe that what I am is what's meant to be? Is all that this world makes me into all that I can ever become? Is there not another way, another road around the bend? Or am I just stuck here in my idyll solitude. Waiting in darkness, shielded from the light of which tempts and ridicules me so.
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[13 Oct 2004|08:43am] |
People fall
statues crumble
The world is an imperfect place
People never stop living
the way they want to live
People never stop giving in
to standards society sets
You can never hate the world too much
You can never stop to wonder what oppurtunities you have missed
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| A style of times |
[04 Oct 2004|11:57am] |
The road of life always takes me down the same ever winding path,
same chances, same choices-- just different situations.
And no matter what new predicament I am faced with,
I am always predictable.
Never wavering.
Pushing people away,
never letting them get too close.
It's my style I suppose.
To show people who I am,
get them to like me, even moderately,
then build up my walls.
They get annoyed and leave.
Always end up alone.
Forever.
Maybe it's just the way I am,
the way it's always meant to be.
Nothing can ever be right,
always wrong.
A jumbled version of a girl who lost herself.
A child of indescion,
thrown to the side like a ragged old doll who all have become tired of.
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