urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_mirrormask_ Because I love you . : . Jessica . : . 2006-09-03T08:58:51Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_mirrormask_:9881 2006-09-03T08:58:51Z 2006-09-03T08:58:51Z My grandmother (fathers mom) passed August 26th. Just another thing to damper me further than the sad state I've been in lately. Her memorial service was this past monday it was a beautiful service, she was creamated and we are either planning on waiting for my grandfather (her husband to pass) and doing a joint urn and they requested they have their ashes spread over the lake from their house in FL or our family all thought doing it over the waters in Hawaii. They LOVED Hawaii, my grandfather is still alive, but is getting worse and worse daily. He's moving out of our home into a nursing home soon.<br /><br />My grandmother left a gold necklace with the Star of David to me, she promised me it when I was 13 and told me I would get it when I was older/more responsible. And in her will (Now I am 21) she made sure that I was in it for this necklace. It was presented to me today and I will wear it and cherish it forever. I was also given her favorite Afghan, she use to cover me up with it when I was a little girl, she's had it forever and she even had it till she left us recently, she would snuggle up with it in the hospice and it was given to me along with a beautiful old pottery with Hebrew inscriptions. I was pretty close with my Grandma, I even spent her last week with her, I'd drive to Dunwoody and sit by her bedside rather she was asleep or not. She didn't know who I was, but she would always grab my nose or my chin and smile and repeat the words "I love you" after I said it to her. I fed her icecream and talked to her, I'd always ask her if she wanted to go shopping and get new clothes or play card games (which she ADORED)....it would make her so happy.<br />Its so heartbreaking to know that the beautiful woman who was so successful and known for her class and the way she carried herself and took care of her possessions and she was always soooo...perfect. :) I admired her so much and she understood my depression and she would tell me stories of her and her depression and she would always find some way to cheer me up, even when sometimes her words were harsh and bruital and hurt....I see now that she only wanted me to be the best. But its so hard to see my Grandma in the condition she was within these last 2 months....in May she knew me and we carried on a conversation like normal, we laughed, she got around on a cain, etc....and its like July she was semi okay, but slowly gettting sicker...and now here it is Aug. 3rd and she's no longer with us/me. I just miss her so much and I've been really depressed. It's not coming out through tears or sorrow, its coming out in anger and just sleeping all day since her memorial service. I feel physically sick..... urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_mirrormask_:4509 2005-11-30T03:25:43Z 2005-11-30T03:25:43Z Snipity SNip snip- I cut my hair and lightened it! <br><img style="width: 266px; height: 354px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/PB230040.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <img style="width: 267px; height: 356px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/PB240050.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> <img style="width: 248px; height: 357px;" src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/PB240062.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_mirrormask_:2992 2005-11-14T07:07:47Z 2005-11-14T07:07:47Z <center> <img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/57429ffd.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/588607e4.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/18ccf79e.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/54d86153.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/0e9c903c.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br />ALISA!!! I love her! Yeah shes 27, but shes fucking awesome! Thats her on Halloween dressed as a punk chick or something, I dunno what it was haha, she was imitating someone that my older brother hangs with....<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/393af9ac.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"><br />I never wear lipstick...but this looks...COLD...hahah...<br /><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/e2274098.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"></center> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:_mirrormask_:971 2005-09-18T10:11:57Z 2005-09-18T10:11:57Z <center><img src="http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v39/junglemunkey/35e6dc35.jpg" alt="Image hosted by Photobucket.com"></center>