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[30 Dec 2008|12:04am] |
nobody can come but i still want to feel like i made the effort to invite people.
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[24 Oct 2008|12:15pm] |
Honestly? I am so sick of having a boyfriend. I just want to be alone for a while. I've taken some time off from him and realized that before I make any decision, I pass it by him. Do you like this shirt? No, ok, I won't buy it. I was going to go to Europe with my friends this January. No? You don't want me to go until you can come with me? Ok. I'm gonna get chicken quesadilla Hot Pockets. No? You want meatball? Ok. To be honest, I'm being stifled by it and it's driving me crazy.
Worst of all, he wants to be around me ALL THE TIME. When the fuck am I supposed to go to the bank, or grocery shopping, or the post office? Shit, he wants to be able to accompany me on all my daily errands. And when I DO have a little bit of alone time (typically on Fridays) I can't GO anywhere otherwise he'll make me feel guilty about it later. Oh, you went to the antique mall? I wanted to go with you. Oh, you went to Grower's Direct? I wanted to pick out the fruit and veggies this week. Yeesh!
I'm just seriously over this whole joined-at-the-hip thing. And I need him to not expect that I be with him ALL THE TIME. If I stick around, and that's a big if, I don't really want to see him all that often.
He insists that he's not trying to make me feel guilty, but if that's the case, why do I?
Because if I stop at the couch to have a ten minute conversation with my roommate (God forbid he should have to sit in my room alone for ten minutes-- he could go on the internet, play PS2, etc) he will get upset, and tell me that he thought we were going to hang out. Well shit, honey, I just cooked you dinner, ate it with you, and washed the dishes. Let me talk to my roommate about our fucking housewarming party! The worst is when he asks "How long are you going to take?" I promise I will be in my room and you will have me ALLLLL to yourself again momentarily!
RRRRGGGG!!
:[
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[01 Oct 2008|03:27am] |
September was a good month.
I paid all my bills after three weeks of work, which left the last week's money all for fun. I went out to eat every day for the last week. Maybe i should have gotten myself something nice, (well, I did go clothes shopping for the first time since i moved out!) but not having to cook or wash dishes is a pretty good gift to oneself!
I'm also far enough ahead on my car payments that I don't even have to make one this month!! I'm still gonna, but next month when i need new tires I won't have to worry about where the money's gonna come from. Or in December when Christmas rolls around, I have an extra $350 to spend on presents!
I've even got a little bit of cash squirreled away so that when ALL the banks go under, I've still got a couple hundred cash on hand... yeah, maybe i should pull a couple thousand out of the bank, too!
Moving out has been great, and adjusting to my own space has been easy.
I'm finally starting to be able to design the space I live in just the way I like it. There's cool vintage and antiques mixed with fresh contemporary stuff. Now i just need to get some stuff on the walls!!
Just a few more weeks and I'll be comfortable inviting people over to see the place. There's a bottle of cheap vodka and a little Midori for parties!
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