The ramblings of Depression

This is fun

Mon, 25 Sep 2006 04:55:41 GMT

ok... so Lj has a new layout... and mine's definitely in German... I'm having fun figuring this out... it's not that bad...

I'm excited cuz I start school tomorrow

and my birthday is in a week!!

OMG!!! OMB!!!

Mon, 11 Sep 2006 19:41:48 GMT

Hey everyone!! omg, w00+!! that's really the only way I can describe this... today's the first day of band camp. it's lunch break and my homestay, Danielle, let me use her computer. she's really cool. we have similar taste in a lot of things... she plays trumpet. last night I met Ben, her drummer bf and Jeff, his drummer roommate... it was pretty cool. they have a store here called WinCo. it's huge like a costco and really cheap, but you canbuy everything in regular sized packages. I thought it was hella tight... what? stop laughing at me!! I feel kinda like elphaba in the "one short day" scene!! everything here is so cool!! and OMG!! marching on Turf is awesome!! no holes!! no mud!! waaah!! yesyesyes!!! I'm so psyched. I got my uniform and stuff. I met my section leader, and she's really cool. and I've thrown Brice's name around and heard some interesting stories... aparently he was not well liked... well now you guys have to deal with him... Hahaha!

so, yeah. I'm like... way hyper right now. maybe just cuz I'm so excited to be here and without my parents or anything and I can't wait for an hour from now when I actually get to play and hear the band!! (registration took all morning...) yeah... indeed... but there are a lot of us. there are a predicted dozen Tubas this year. I'm sooooo excited!! this is so awesome!!

I got to hear the drumline last night. they are amazing! there's 5 basses, 4 tenors and 9 snares, and damn, do they sound good... ahhh!! wow... I think I've gone crazy!!! either tht or I'm just in an amazing new place with and amazing new band and this whole experience is just so amazing!! I can't believe it!! ah! ok, I should stop now before I explode on the screen...

I miss you all and I love you!!

you are in my heart and my thoughts.

Love,
~Rosie~

goodness...

Fri, 08 Sep 2006 00:16:12 GMT

as the day draws closer, I find that I'm crying more and more... as in every moment that I find myself alone... I can't believe I'm leaving... I mean, I'm glad I am, and I'm totally excited, but I'm also scared and sad to leave you all... This is kinda depressing...

Well I'm going out to dinner with the mob tonight, and to practice and the game with the band tomorrow...

my room is all boxed up... all the posters and stuff are off the walls... it's kinda sad... and I am, too...

but I had a good shopping day a couple of days ago, and that always helps to keep my spirits up for a while...

I don't know... I'm kinda lost in all these emotions... I can't believe it... I've already seen some of my friends for the last time before I leave... and for the rest of you the last time will be tonight or tomorrow...

I suppose this is normal, though, to feel all these things before leaving...

I'm ok, though, despite it all, because I know that Oregon is going to be awesome and I'll see you all at christmas break, which is not too far away... kinda...

I've been all sad and listening to songs like "For Good" and the like...

but there's also songs like "My Home Town" by Bowling for Soup... they're cool, and they make me smile... : )

ah well, I guess this is something that everyone who moves out of their town has to go through... and things will look so different in three days time...

and this is probably my last entry before I move so I won't have internet for about a week...

Goodbye. I love you all...

*cries* *smiles* *cries* *grup hugs!!* *cries*

all you people who are gonna see me tomorrow, you can expect me to be a total mess... but it's ok... it's a good thing... I suppose...

<3

Sun, 03 Sep 2006 04:43:39 GMT

http://www.thesurrealist.co.uk/slogan.cgi
this site is good for a laugh.

so yeah, today was my official going away party... yeah... it was kinda fun... and kinda shitty... I'm just glad I got to see my friends, though I had hoped for more people. oh well... everything can't be perfect.

'cept now I'm feeling pretty shitty cuz a bunch of my friends are at this party that I was cordially uninvited to because too many people were invited... yeah, that really sucks, in case that's never happened to you...

well I think I'll go sleep or something now... or attempt to occupy myself because this is just not doing it for me.

what's a girl to do?

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 02:54:52 GMT

what is a girl to do when she can't even tell her best friend what's upsetting her... or that she's even upset at all? when she can't tell him that it's what he's doing that is driving her crazy? When every time she hears the term "best friend" she just wants to hit him? or when it seems like no one cares about friendship as much as they care about their crushes/bfs/gfs... ('cept you Bekah, you rock. thank you) argh... I'm in a really upsetting place right now... argh... fuck it... that's all I have to say...

the much-awaited Installment 3

Wed, 23 Aug 2006 04:48:22 GMT

Anyway, After the December incident, which was a big deal for me, Life again continued on without me. I saw Chris a few times, and it was always great until he was gone and then it hurt more every time... I remember leaving his house for Reno and singing "As Long as You're Mine" over and over... *sigh* and then dying that night, when I found myself alone in my sister's living room trying to sleep and unable to get my mind off of him... and the more I loved him, the more I hated myself. and the more I hated myself, the more I needed to have someone to love me... so I dated Erik for... a while, and that turned out... interesting, at least... and then I tried to do the whole "I have a crush on someone else" thing... but that ended badly and I just kinda sunk back into my downward spiral... and life went on...

Flash forward to the Thursday before school got out. I had been under a lot of stress about wherter or not I was going to graduate, and I was on my way to the office after school when I passed him in the hallway. I already knew that he was leaving soon, but I asked him when and he said "Saturday" and he ran off to go meet someone... before I could even ask when I was going to see him again... Thet night I tried to call him, tried to call a few of out mutual friends, and couldn't reach anyone... I was online later when Kevan signed on and informed me that they had been at 49er fun park having a little going away party. I cried so hard for so long... and I was so upset that when my mind went to cutting, I couldn't even consider it. that was the night i decided I hated him and I was never going to cut again... well, since then I haven't cut, (today's day 117) .

Flash forward again to about a week ago, monday night, right before the first part of ths story... I had been telling myself that I was completely over him, and I found myself that night at about 9:15 and I found out that he was there. I was all of a sudden totally nervous and I knew that this was probably my one and only chance to prove it to myself that I was really over him... that boy that had caused me so much pain... he couldn't do it anymore...

so we spent the evening together with Makayla and various others (Kathryn, then Kevan, then Steven), flirting like we both tend to do, and even spent the night in the same bed (nothin' funny, I swear)

and...

drumroll please...

nothing...

I was so thrilled with that fact by the time I got home that I decided it was time to tell some of what I went through for/ because of that boy... I don't know it just made me feel better... so that is my thrilling and o-so-dramatic story... I hope you enjoyed it or it touched you in some way or something...

and that is why I ruled the world that day...

Love,

~Rosie~

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 03:37:35 GMT

I guess I should finish my story... this involves cutting and depression stuff...hard to talk about...well...ok, here goes:

So Chris and I, at this point, were sitting by the burning coals in the fire pit. He proceded to tell me that he was still having trouble getting over his last girlfriend and he didn't think he was ready to start something new... needless to say, I was absolutely crushed... all I could do was stare into the coals and say "ok" as he said he was sorry and walked away. I wanted to die right there. I was so close to having this wonderful boy and this wonderful relationship and with one sentence, all my hopes were shattered... So life went on without me for a while... I did a lot of crying. at that point I had already been a cutter for some time. I was slowly sinking deeper into my depressive state... and then...

I remember the day: December 28... I had been cleaning the house all day because we were having company. I was listening to "Without You" from Rent. I was home alone, so I had it up really loud on repeat. Chris was all I could think about. I started to cut, because it was all I knew to do to cope at the time... by the time I was interrupted I had "I DIE WITHO" on my leg. and the interruption, coincidentally involved a call from Makayla saying that she was at Chris' house and I should come over. I got ready (showers with open wounds really hurt) and went over there. He spent most of the time playing World of Warcraft... I still hate that game because of that day.

I hated not being payed attention to... I guess I'm just an attention whore... but we already knew that... anyway I excused myself to the bathroom, without even being noticed and finished my cutting. "I DIE WITHOUT YOU" it said... and it spoke to me deeply... that was the first and only time I ever cut over my broken heart. and the scars still seem unwilling to fade... but my scars are a story for another time...

Installment 3 will come later...

Wed, 16 Aug 2006 00:34:44 GMT

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next 4 sentences along with these instructions.
5. Don’t you dare dig for that "cool" or "intellectual" book in your closet! I know you were thinking about it! Just pick up whatever is closest.
6. Tag six people.

Mortati knew that all the exits to the Vatican City were guarded and the missing cardinals could not have gone far,but still, with less than an hour before opening prayer, he was feeling disconcerted. After all, the four missing men were no ordinary cardinals. they were the cardinals.
The chosen four.

That's from Angels and Demons by Dan Brown... and all you people annoyed with the end of the last entry will just have to wait for another day...

I Rule The World

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 20:10:52 GMT

So yeah I am on top of the world right now. And Fufu, it's your fault...I feel free and just generally wonderful despite the tiredness... though I actually did get some last night... oh well anyway... I think I'm going to tell the whole story, because some of you don't know, or only know parts, so I'll fill you in... Here goes:

Ok It all started in February of my junior year (18 months ago), When I developed a crush on Chris (fufu). In the beginning, it was just a normal high school crush and it didn't mean much, but as we went into the summer, and started to get really close, it started to mean a whole lot. Finally, I thought, I could get a guy, a really nice guy who loved me, too and wouldn't run off like the last one. We did a lot of flirting, because that;s the way we both are, and needless to say I was really happy and my hopes were really high... but we still weren't together. Then came the camping trip, in early August. It was the Mob camping trip and I was so excited. the first day was amzing, just like all the other times Chris and I had been together recently. that night I slept wrapped up in his arms. It's the closest to heaven that I've ever been. The next day was more of the same, until the evening, when I found the two of us sitting alone by the fire....

damn... I have to go... I guess I leave you with a cliffhanger and there's more later.

Tue, 15 Aug 2006 00:14:33 GMT

HEY BEAU!! I STILL NEED MY CAMERA BACK!!! *SMACKS*

other than that, life's pretty good right now... I'm discovering that as my departure date (Sept. 9) grows closer, I'm more adventurous, and more willing to do things that I normally wouldn't do... I don't know if that's a good thing or not... so far the only person who has taken any damage was me... I think... and that's not too horribly bad anyway... so I don't know... I'm just glad that I have awesome friends to take care of me and keep me from doing anything TOO bad... :) you guys rock...
<3
~Rosie~

Trefero

Mon, 14 Aug 2006 06:38:27 GMT

So yeah, I went to Jan and Cheryl's wedding today. It was really sweet and they both looked like they felt young again. I love seeing people happy :) and then (because the wedding was @ rollins lake) we went out on the Trefero's boat. that was so fun! I dore in the inner tube and Bill (the dad) flipped me like 5 feet in the air. it was totally awesome. and Matt did this weird cartwheel/flip thing (he woulda got a medal in the olympics for Gymnastics, I swear) and he came up saying that he was hurting in places he shouldn't be hurting... heehee... I whispered in his ear that we could have one of his brothers kiss it and make it all better... the look on his face was to die for... and then we went back to his house. I went with Kitty and Chris and Justin because Matt had to stay with his dad and help joad up the boat. So when I got back to the house I changed into some dry clothes and then went in and fell asleep in his bed. half an hour later, he got home and came in and said hi and alked over and sat on the bed and then I pulled him down and we layed there, drifting in and out of half sleep and talking until about 9:30 when his dad took me home. overall, This Day has totally kicked some Major assage! w00+!

Yeah, I'm so exhausted... I have slept a total of 2 1/2 hours in the last 2 days (the 1/2 hour was @matt's house)... and tonight is not promising, either... I guess I really am more like Chris's sister now, cuz he really annoyed me and I hassled him about it... like a sibling would do... or maybe a pissy teenager would... but it was all in a loving sort of way...I've never befriended and entire family before... they are cool...
so yeah... w00+

Major Congrats to Jan and Cheryl Woldseth!!

I love seeing people in love...

Blue... or not...

Wed, 09 Aug 2006 01:43:13 GMT

Schade... I wanted blue hair... but alas... though I did manage to end up with a blue scalp... damn... oh well... my dad's bringing home purple... so it'll be ok.
In other news... wait... there is no other news... That's how exciting my life is... it's funny... I decided I was gonna try to get in the habit of writing every day... but It's boring... oh well..
Fair tonorrow!! w00+!! yeah... I will see you all there... or those of you that will be there, anyway...

g'night
~Rosie~

My horoscope for this week

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 21:40:21 GMT

The Full Moon in your love and romance zone on Wednesday may bring even more feelings to the surface, and this may not help your current situation. Love and friendship could become extremely muddled at this time, and trying to choose what do next could be very hard going. When Mercury moves into Leo on Thursday, you may find talking about it all doesn’t exactly help. The Sun opposes Neptune on Friday, and this may completely alter your perception of what you thought was happening. Again, don’t believe what you see just yet, as things will probably look very different next week.

I don't know... it just seemed... appropriate... hmmm... well the fair on wednesday is gonna be fun... esecially according to that /|\...
hmm... well I hope it's right. I hope things look different next week...

I'm ok... I swear.

Sun, 06 Aug 2006 23:48:33 GMT

Hmm... well I don't know. I've been sitting around and moping and playing AMAZINGLY BAD GRAPHICS STAR WARS game... goodtimes... and don't ask me why I'm being mopey... just don't. I'm ok I promise... in fact 2 days of being alone in my room has surprisingly made me feel better... and then I read Beau's lj which was happy and various others which were not so happy, but were still a connection to my friends after 48 hours of hermit-ism. and now I'm off to go bowling! woohoo! yeah I'm kinda hyper... which I suppose is what happens when you get 12 hours of sleep and don't use any of the energy... besides what it takes to fly around beating down storm troopers with my bare hands... (not much) so yeah, that's the story of my life right now... and for the next few days:
Monday: Mob Day
Tuesday: Band Kids probably (meaning Matt)
Wednesday: Fair!! WooHoo!!
Thursday: I don't know
Friday: same as Thursday
Satruday: Dan's Party (maybe) and NCCB @ the fair
Sunday-Forever: Repeat Thursday and Friday as desired

That's more than I few days... anyway... people call me so we can throw a party or something!! w00+!

LOVE!!!
~Rosie~

Sat, 05 Aug 2006 21:49:23 GMT

This is something I've taken to lately. I highly recommend it if you're feeling down, or just bored. It's simple, all it involves is making a list like this:

Happiness is:

A long bubble bath
Ice cream without worrying about the calories
Making sex jokes
Band Camp
A long hug from a close friend
helping two friends get together
Someone sticking up for me
Late night (early morning) phone calls
Inside Jokes
Practical Jokes (the actually funny kind)
"nothing" happening
being able to say "the tuba makes everything better"
teasing matt
Being teased by matt
laughing at stupid people
The radio
feeling loved
walking into the band room and hearing someone scream my name
not being able to make it to the band room before being mobbed by friends
people being happy to see me
being taken care of
the thought that I'm never going to have to deal with certain people ever again...
Tuba
getting first place at a competition and singing "we are the champions" on the bus
boding experiences
adventures
making memories (better than doing the remembering, in most cases)
spending the night in someone's arms
laughing until your face/stomach hurts, or until something comes out your nose
singing along with my favourite song, or with that band that stole our first number
spelling like a british person, just for the hell of it
Being dan's Freshman
Bekah looking at me like I'm from mars
tanning words into our backs
new hair colour
being a part of something bigger
contemplating the night sky
the band family tree
finally being able to say "I'm over him" (and meaning it)
being a vegetarian
having a home-away-from-home, and a second set of parents
getting ready to move out
sharing my secrets
not worrying about my regrets
living in the moment
being spontaneous with friends
driving (made impossible by the last item on the list :( )
being super heroes
planning to be rock stars, or to take over the world
Halo Parties
being the only girl
being cheered up
flirting
watching fireworks
striped tights
friday night markets
Target and 100% Funk
Getting around the rules
"experiment pasta"
Ditching class (and knowing that every time I did it was totally worth it)
being glad I was able to say "no"

Well you get the idea... this is just what comes to mind at the moment ...

and somehow... i still feel kinda shitty... meh, that's what happens, I guess... when you're facing leaving everything you've known behind...but it something that everyone has to go through, (well most people, anyway) and I'll get over it.... but until then, i'll just have to spend as much time as possible with the people that I will be missing and get ready for the whole new life that I get to start...

college is going to be good, whether it wants to or not...

Self Explanatory

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 20:16:06 GMT

http://homestarrunner.com/tgs11.html

need I say more?

World Traveler update #4

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 01:02:39 GMT

Well I'm Finally back home, only to Leave again tomorrow... for Oregon. That'll be fun...
The conclusion of my Trip:
The moring after I last updated, We Left for Bamberg. It's a nice little town with a very nice Rose Garden, but not very interesting... And that was the extent of that day... Next day we went to Nurembug, and then to Dachau, the original model for The German Concentration camps. That was pretty interesting... but there was some major negative energy there...
Then we made our way to Munich, and went and saw an opera... it was in French with german translations flashing across a little screen at the top... but it was cool... and then we went to this really good Turkish Restaurant and I got a very... Interesting looking dinner... I will post a picture of it... it was two stuffed bell peppers and one long thin squash... also stuffed... and the presentation... well... use your imagination... anyway, the next day we went to The most amazing place... A TUBA FACTORY!!! it was awesome... and after the tour of the factory and desciptions of every step involved in the making of a tuba we continued upstairs. There, we went into a room full of Tubas. The guy went around and showed me each of the tubas and told me about how they were custom ordered by this and that famous German Tuba player... and then he gave me a mouthpiece and said I could play any of them and then he left!!! I was like... "OMG I'M IN HEAVEN!!!!" and they played so well!! OMG! all I've ever played on are school instruments and these were brand new amazing Tubas!! I mean... some of them weren't even Laquered yet!! OMG!!!!! It was amazing! after that we spent the afternoon walking around Munich and in the evening we went to The Hofbrau Haus for dinner and that was totally fun and I drank a bunch of beer and... yeah... heh... and the next morning we got up at 4 am (7pm the day before by California time) and we couldn't get the carout of the garage because It doesn't open until 7... so we dealt with that and then flew home... and then 26 hours later I finally got home...

and that concludes my world travels... I hope you've enjoyed my stories... I've missed you all so much and When I get home from Oregon on tuesday I want to get together with you all (mob especially bcuz it's been the longest since I've seen you... and we'll totally have a blast!

World Traveler Update #3

Sun, 09 Jul 2006 21:25:36 GMT

Hallo!! Today I am writing from Göttingen, Germany. I'm here visiting Johanne, the Girl who stayed with us during the German Exchange earlier this year. We are currently watching the World Cup Final, France v. Italia it's 1-1 and it's down to the final shoot out. This is Exciting!! (I'm rooting for France... or actually, Against Italy, but whatev...) Italy shoots first... Scored. France- Score!! Italy-Score. France-Miss... Damn! So Close... they still have a chance... Italy- Score... Scheisse! If Italy wins they will be Rioting in the street ALL NIGHT... Grrr... France- Score!! Ok... now Italy has to miss one...C'mon Barthez!! Italy- Miss... O god.. this is intense... France- Score!! It's 4-3... Italy- Score... Italien ist Weltmeister... Scheisse... Well no one in Germany or Italy or France Or any neighboring countries is going to sleep tonight... Including me... because the Italians are Fucking insane... Verdamte Scheisse!!

Anyway...

My Trip... Right...

The last Time I wrote was In Salzburg... That was Right before Italy beat Germany... That was a sad day... and then The next morning We left for Prague... We had to Transfer twice and then the third train Broke down and we had to get on a crowded, smelly, Czech Bus and then a crowded, smelly, Czech Train and I found the love of my life... my Czech mate... ok... not really... But we Finally made it to our hotel and had dinner and slept... and the next morning we were finally able to have a relaxing day, strolling the streets of Prague. We saw Wenceslas Square (nothing Special) and the Astrological Clock which was really cool... and we walked across Charles Bridge which was cool because there were all sorts of vendors and artists and a band With a Tuba player who did a bad-ass Tuba solo... and then we saw St. Nikolaus Church... a beautiful Baroque Catholic church... it was amazing... will show pictures when I'm home... We caught A Taxi Back to the hotel because we had to do Laundry and were tired and The Taxi Driver reccommended this Traditional Czech restaurant and we went there and They had an Accorian-Tuba duet and they were Awesome!! but the food not so good... the next day we saw the Prague Castle... cool... and this really awesome old Jewish Cemetery (and Dr. Franz Kafka's grave) and it was totally awesome... we chilled and shopped and ate and slept. the next day (yesterday) we spent A long, long time on a train to Göttingen and Met up with Johanne and her mom and then to their home and watched Germany Avenge England in their match against Portugal... and this morning We saw a cool old castle (mostly Ruins, but the view was really cool) and went to Hann. Münden (a nearby city) and there I saw Ben Ott... It was totally cool! and we got Ice Cream and went back to Göttingen and walked around and had dinner and watched the World cup final....

*breathes*

and now we are current...
Well... I miss you all unbelievable amounts!! Wah!! (there go the Italians) I wish I could see you all and give you hugs but that has to wait... :(

I'm going tomorrow morning to see the Americans that came here with Mr. Guemann (Yes, Layne, that means I'm gonna see Your Seneca...)

I will post again as soon as possible...
and everyone call me at home on the 14th!! I will be there, but only for 1 day and I expect for one (or some) of you to get me out of the house...

I love you all!!

And I miss you entirely too much!!!

Love,
Rosie

World taveler update #2

Fri, 30 Jun 2006 20:17:19 GMT

Today I am writing from Köln, Germany. We've done a lot of traveling since my last entry. Monday morning we left Penzance for the long journey back to London. We stopped in Bath on the way back which was mildly interesting... once we got back to london we ate dinner at the hotel and went to bed. The next morning we got up and went to see the changing of the guard... it wasn't that spectacular due to the fact that we were across the street and couldn't see anything except the 2 bands that marched in and out... other than that we sat around while maddie and I discussed moving to London to start a rock band... sounds like a good idea to me... after that we wen to Hampton court Palace, home of Henry 8... you know, the nut bag with the 6 wives... it was really pretty and we got lost in a hedge maze... funfunfun!!! then we got on a boat and travelled down the Thames for 3 long hours... that was kinda boring, but we managed to entertain ourselves. After that came the london Eye. OMG! the view was amazing! London is so Beautiful! The next day was a really cool museum, that had an exhibit on musical instruments which are pretty much extinct... like the serpent!!! *orgasms* anyway, next was the Tower of London, Always cool, and after we had some time to freshen up we saw Stomp. That was so amazing!! I absolutely loved it and I wish I was even half as talented as those guys... OMG!! The next day (yesterday) I said goodbye to all my band friends and set off for my next destination... GERMANY!!! w00+!

and OMG is Germany awesome!! we got here yesterday, found my sister, deciphered the train and U Bahn (subway) maps and finally made it to our hotel... it was a long day... I was up most of the night, thinking about my traveling friends and finally fell asleep around the same time I expect they got back... for me, 3 in the morningish...

Today has been totally awesome!! we got back on th U Bahn and went down town. the first thing we saw was this amazingly awesome Gothic cathedral. We proceded to climb the 516 steps to the top and it was soooo awesome up there!! There was a bell like... 15 ft tall ish and the view was really cool!! after the long and dizzying trek down (spiral stairs all the way) we walked around Köln for a while... we kept seeing roaming bands of German Football fans drinking adn singing songs. We decided to stop at an outdoor restaurant near where they were showing the game on a huge screen (they have at least 3 or 4 of these in the city) We watched the game in the middle of a slobbering drunk crowd of Germans and had a total blast. The ame was really intense and Germany ended up winning in a kick off type thing... I don't really understand the rules... but I know that Germany won and I've never seen any crowd of people have as much fun as these uber-excited drunk German Football Fans!! The City right now is alive with people screaming and singing!! I am really glad Germany won, but personally I'm rooting for England. I can't wait until they cream Portugal tomorrow night!!

The best thing about Germany, though, is the drinking age: 16!! so I was standing in the middle of the sweaty, drunk, cheering Germans with a bottle of beer in my hand... one that I had gon into the retaurant and bought for myself!! it was awesomely awesome!!

Despite all the awesomeness, I still miss you all soooooo much! I am glad to discover (from Kelly's entry) that the band got home safe. I can't wait to come home and share all of my stories and pictures and Chocolate with you all!!

Send me e-mail or comment on this because I want to hear from you!!

I Love you and I miss you...
oh and someone please call Matt and make sure he has my bass and tell him I love and miss him...

That's all for now. Tschus!!

world traveler update #1

Sat, 24 Jun 2006 22:12:23 GMT

Well my england trip has been totally awesome so far!! we flew from San Fransisco at 4:30 tuesday afternoon. The flight was a short 10 hours long... gah! but there were video games that you could play with other passengers and I totally whopped Matt at battleship... so after 10 hours we finally landed in london at 10 AM (2 am california time)and, without any sleep, we toured london on a double decker coach. we saw buckingham palace and big ben and the london eye... but not in detail, we're going back to london monday morning for 3 days. anyway, after our coach tour we went to westminster abbey (which is a lot less spectacular than it should be when you're exhausted)... but it was still cool and I danced on Handel's grave... and Charles Darwin's... heehee... after that we had dinner and then we went to the hotel and finally got a night's sleep. we woke up in the morning a litle less tired and cranky and ready for the long coach ride to Penzance. We had a few stops along the way. First we went to stonehenge which is cool... it's a very powerful place and if you get the chance to go there I would definitely reccomend it. then we went to Plymouth and saw the mayflower steps, where the pilgrim fathers set off from for America... and everyone was like "whop-de-frickin-doo" but we got a bit of shoppong time in which is always a good thing... and I got to try the ice cream... which is really good (all the food here is really good) anyway, we then drove to penzance and got there around 8:30, all surprised that it was still light out (we hadn't really noticed the first night because we were all too tired) (it stays light past 10 here...) I met my homestay family, and they are very sweet people. there's the mom, Kay and the dad, Arthur and the youngest daughter, Sophie(12) and the older daughter, Becky (bob) (18 as of yesterday) and her Fiance, Tris (19) andthe two balck labs Remus and Tyson. The house is very small, but it's cozy and friendly, not cramped, like you would imagine. I'm also staying with Leslie, who is in the NU band (in case you didn't know). On day 3 we got back on the coach one again to take a tour of penwith, which is western Cornwall. We saw Land's end (next stop USA) and a tin mine (not too different from our local gold mines) and the coach got stuck trying to get to a stone circle and it took at least 1/2 an hour to turn around... but our coach driver, Mark was able to get out eventually... we saw a lot of countryside(so beautiful) and then went to St. Michael's mount, which is an island with a big casle at the top, also very pretty (everything is prettier here) (yes, prettier is a word, shut up.) anyway, we had a dance party in the aisle of the top floor of the coach with the coach driver. it was pretty awesome. after that we went to this fancy-ass reception with the mayor of penzance which was nice. we had 3 guys playing traditional cornish music in kilts and all that... that was cool... and then we spent a quiet evening at home ith our homestay families... today (day 4) we led the mayor's procession (which is apparently quite an honor) and also marched in the Mazey day parade down the hill all the way through Penance and then back up... ugh... I don't think i've ever worked that hard in my life (and mind you, I've done work... but nothing like marching a 2 mile parade with a contra)... also the concert and jazz bands played (but not very well). we went and got ice cream, and then went home and our host family had a barbecue, which was nice and that brings us to right now. it's about 11:10 pm on saturday night, and I plan to go outside and look at the stars, which I haven't had a chance to do yet. well goodnight, all and I look forward to seeing you again. I love you all and I wish you all were here (those of you that aren't, anyway)

LOVE FROM CORNWALL

3 days left...

Wed, 07 Jun 2006 01:20:45 GMT

and half days at that...

As the days are passing, and being counted down, I'm feeling more and more depressed. I'm realizing that I'm not ready to leave all of my friends... I thought before that I'd make it, but now I'm not too sure... All I want to do for the past 2 days is cry... I've become so dependant on my friends, on band and the band room itself, that I'm afraid now to leave everything behind... I already miss you all!!

I especially already miss you, Fufu... I can't believe you're leaving... and so soon, we don't even get the summer...

I can't believe a year's gone by so fast... but as KK mentioned, we have to be grateful for the time we have had...

"life must be good when you can name a whole galaxy of friends"
-Daniel Platner
Each person I care about has a star in the sky. I am so grateful that my night sky is so full of stars. each and every star is bright and beautiful. but I know that in September some of those stars will fade and burn out... here's your chance to tell me that you want to continue to shine.

on that note, I want to post a piece of poetry that I wrote, inspired by dan's quote above:

There is a star up there for everyone I care about.

Life must be pretty good when you can name a whole galaxy of friends.

There is a star for every time I’ve cried.

And every time I’ve had a shoulder to cry on.

There is a star for every regret I’ve had.

For every long, warm hug that made those regrets not matter.

There is a star for every wish I’ve ever made

And one for every time someone’s made my wish come true.

But there are not enough stars in the sky

To express my gratitude for each and every one of those people

Who have made life worth living.

by Rosie Wright.
June, 2006

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quizzies!!

Mon, 29 May 2006 06:11:27 GMT

Your Theme Song is Born to Be Wild by Steppenwolf

"I like smoke and lightning
Heavy metal thunder
Racin' with the wind
And the feelin' that I'm under"

A total independent spirit, you can't be held down or fenced in.
You crave the feeling of wind on your face... and totally freedom.

What's Your Theme Song?

Hells Yes!!

Your Famous Last Words Will Be:

"I can pass this guy."

What Will Your Famous Last Words Be?

Hells Yes!!

w00+ for Blogthings!!

HORNY

Mon, 29 May 2006 05:34:53 GMT

gah! I am so horny right now... heheheh... I wish there was someone of interest online to talk to... I wish I had a point in making a post right now, other than because I'm bored and very horny. I know!! I'll come up with a question for you guys to answer!! here goes:

SO Honestly, do I or have I ever turned you on? what about me did?

no really I want to know... cuz I so wish I was sexy... and sometimes I think I am but right now I just think I'm kinky and horny... bah... perhaps that "sexual experimentation test" was a bad Idea...:
http://www.okcupid.com/tests/take?testid=14406263214808170296

heheh... go take it, if you want... I scored 23% Experience, 74% Adventurousness, 75% Kinkyness, and 23% Corrupt! heh... adventurous and kinky... hehehe... well I'm gonna go try to sleep now, maybe... because the internet has ceased to be amusing to me. damn you people for not being online at 10:30 on a Sunday!! *rolls eyes* j/k

good night.

Fri, 26 May 2006 03:48:13 GMT

w00+!! I changed my journal to German!! how frickin' awesome is that? not very, huh? oh well, it may not be that amazing, but I think it's hella cool... go ahead laugh at me... it's good for you... anyway, despite the fact that I had a totally crappy day (until I came back for marching band!!) I'm in a really good mood right now... it's amazing what one unexpected statement of encouragement can do to brighten a person's day...

if amy doesnt like us being friends she can "go suck a turkey"

no offense to amy or anything. she's a great girl. I love her. I was worried but now I'm sooo not. cuz her boyfriend's awesome like that. and I highly doubt that she doesn't like us being friends. but still... I have no reason to worry. :)
my message for him is another quote from another friend...

"never forget how much you can do for a person just by being around..." -Steven Thomas

man, I Love my friends!!!!! Graduation is going to be soooo hard!! *cries* (again!!)

well g'night all, and much love to you!!

some things to ponder...

Thu, 25 May 2006 04:06:12 GMT

Complete these sentences

1. It's been too long since I...
2. Next school year I'm going to miss... the most. (one thing/person)
3. My best friend is my best friend because...
4. In the future, I want...
5. The most impressive/unbelievable thing I've ever seen was...
6. I'm really good at...
7. I wish I had more...
8. I wish I could go back in time to...
9. I wish (name) wouldn't...
10. Life would be better if I...

Just some Ideas to ponder... perhaps it will give you some inspiration to take action in your own life for the better. Answer personally, or post it as a comment. I don't care. just think about it and see what you could do to improve your life. Think of all the ways you could complete that last sentence, not with "if I was..." but with "if I (did something)"