M3

So our new dryer will sound a buzzer every five minutes when done until you attend to it. What a totally bastard device. What if I don't WANT to run downstairs right just then? You can turn it off completely or have it on incessant reminder, there is no middle ground.

Two nights ago I was out of Ambien and they won't refill it till tomorrow. I took some TyPM and had some serious DTs... I've had a few involuntary spasms of various places over several months now, to the point where I wondered if I shouldn't get checked for Parkinsons, just in case, but figured what are the odds. The lack of Ambien brought holy shakes about. It felt a bit like when I accidentally OD'd in LA - sweating, restless, anxious, twitching, etc. Unpleasant.

So tomorrow when I go to the drugstore and find they only refilled my scrip for 20 pills instead of a whole month I'm going to grab the nearest lab-coated sadist and shake him till he snaps. Then the NEXT lab-coated sadist will be asked if HE was ever on antidepressants and if HE ever had the horrible nightmares and NEEEEEEDED the sleeping pills in order to maintain sanity.

And I'll keep grabbing, shaking, and snapping, until I get my goddamn 30-31 pills, so help me dog.

There went the dryer again. I knew we should have gone for the cheaper, less options model.

In other news, I got a glowing review at work, which was not attached to a raise at this time, due to economic issues. But my boss said I was management material. I laughed when I read that. Yes, put the smartass in charge, that will go well.

Also funny was when boss went to give K. her review... and she was out for a smoke. Which has been a point of contention between her and management. But she's due for a lung xray/mri or something soon so maybe her new doc will help with her quitting. Again. She's got a nasty cough she passes off as airborne allergies, but it's pretty obviously not.

We have a new girl at work, who is pretty awesome. She speaks a couple languages and has spent time in other countries and has interesting tattoos and funny stories and is just all-around nice, funny, sarcastic, competent (important), and a fast-learner (very important).

We also have an intern for admin this year, but we won't speak of that yet. We're still warping her to our standards :)

Went to a dermatologist to get some spots on me checked out for skin cancer. They pretty much match exactly basal cell carcinoma but doc said they were just warts. She did a cursory review of the rest of my moles and they were all fine. I may want a second opinion shortly, but 4 doctor appts in a month has tapped my resources. Next year I will spread out my yearly visits to various doctors to avoid this...

I was also witness to a message board meltdown which was rather strange to watch. I remember being deeply involved in things like that but in this case I just don't use the message board for bonding/friend purposes, and frankly there are so many on the board at any given time (258 are online right now, 3,000 active members, and 54,000 members total!!!) that I don't keep user names straight. So seeing the fighting threads started and shut down and the snarking was bizarre from the perspective of "Who cares!?" for once. It reminded me of the fact that I'm old now, except honestly the people who were acting up were all middle aged too, so... weird. Also? It's a board about hair. On your head. What's there to get het up about enough to form cliques?!

I also discovered that I can buy additional games for my cell phone... what a GREAT way to waste money! The past couple years my end of term has come up with anywhere from 200-500 minutes left, which don't roll over (I'm pre-paid for a year with 1,000 minutes or $100, whichever gets used up first). This year I've been slowly buying games, which is nice to expand my repertoire, but horrible for my carpal tunnel. They (t-mobile) also has a subscription-type game for things like scrabble and mahjong and platinum solitare. Have not done that yet, but I'm thinking about it. I just don't use my phone for much other than entertaining myself while I listen to audiobooks in my room. I've been idly thinking of getting a netbook, though....

The crafting has tapered off, as has the stitching. Just a dry spot. It always happens, but I've commissioned our admin intern to do a swirly abstract mural on our wall at work since we will be moving in December (possibly September) and the new tenants will be tearing down the non-load-bearing walls. I really just want to glue paper hole punch dots to the wall, but I wanted a pattern, so I asked for help. Also, I'd like to use glitter, some tiny white pompoms and various paints and sharpie markers, but she's been on vacation for a week so it's been on hold. And yes, I actually got permission from the big boss first!

Finances are good, I paid off the two credit cards that I owed on and had built back up my savings in three months to what they were before the CC payoffs. Unfortunately I really really have to learn to drive soon, due to job duties and working late/weekends, so money will probably be drained away for leasing a car and insurance. Oh and driving lessons. It can't be hard. Theoretically you keep the yellow lines on the left, the white on your right, stay between them, don't hit anything, and red means stop. Simple.

People have been asking why I want to save so much ($20-30K) before moving back to LA, and I explain my experience and factoring in living without a job for a year. They get it, but think I should be looking and interviewing NOW for a job out there and use that savings to take interview trips. Which would be fine, except I'm really rather desperately needed at my job. We just don't have enough admins for the amount of contracts we have, and we may (fingers crossed) be getting another GIANT job like the one we're working on now. And since I'm the trainer for admins, I've got to work up a manual of how-to and some tutorials and some really neat live-action example videos. Plus do work. So I'm definitely obligated to this company for about another year. That will give us time to hit our deadline and then do any follow-up questions/issues.

And really, I like most of the people I work with in admin, my boss is actually very cool and I feel that meeting her and developing the relationship we have has truly added something to my life. How fucking cheesy is this? But when you work in a field with a bunch of backstabbing ass-hounds, finding adults who are cool is nice. And rare. Apparently.

OK that's enough, my wrists are killing me and I have to go figure out how I'm going to get to sleep tonight. Fucking pharmacists.

So mom, in her usual wonderful way of sharing news, called me at work yesterday (Friday) to tell me she'd had our dog put to sleep. Lily had gotten sick pretty quick, and it deteriorated fast in the last two weeks. We discussed it, but I didn't think she'd do it without my brother and I knowing/saying goodbye. But when I said that, her response was "Oh, I didn't think about that." Later at dinner she asked if I was upset that I didn't get to say goodbye and be there, and I truly am, and pissed, but I said not really, she was so out of it at the time she wouldn't have noticed. But that's not the point, dammit.

Whatever. This sucks. Poor Lil.

Holy shit is Verizon FIOS so much faster than Comcast! It's crazy how fast stuff is loading, especially images. Almost instantly! and it's almost half the cost of Comcast, for more stuff. Hello, we now have Galavision!

In other news, my head hurts, my sinuses hurt, and I have to go back to work tomorrow whether I feel better or not. And face the wrath.

In other other news, I mentioned to someone who has known me nigh on a decade that I didn't have a fandom or interest any more (let alone have a website) and they were SHOCKED. I've had hosting of some sort since 1996, which started with Def Leppard (and Bad4Good), which moved on to That 70s Show and then curling. I know we have 1,000 TV channels now, but there is NOTHING ON I WANT TO WATCH. Sure there's a funny show here or there (RuPaul's Drag Race is tops) but to make an effort to watch something? Not going to happen.

And while I may surf some sites regularly, to join a community/comment on things is beyond my interests now. I'm just meh about it all.

Ten. Years.

If I were going to be buried instead of cremated, I'd have to have on my gravestone:

No apostrophe. Plural, not possessive.

It is insane how often I have to say that (sometimes to my boss!!!) during the workday.


Also, I read/follow instructions BADLY. I couldn't figure out how to make this stupid paper ornament so I had my mom attempt it. After she showed me where I was going wrong she tells me "Let me know if you need any more help reading English." I was like, damn that was a good burn.


In cleaning up for Christmas decorating, I found two items on one of our tables that I had bought - LAST CHRISTMAS. I'm assuming they are gifts, but I can't remember why I bought them, or for who, or why I bought two of the same thing. Or wait, maybe it was from two years ago... Christ. Slightly less important is that I almost bought the same thing this year, but decided I didn't really need it. And now I have two. That I honestly do not remember buying!


It is entirely possible that a tumor is eating my brain and the only thing I'll have left is the ability to punctuate properly. Can't read directions, can't remember shit, but I'll have my glitter and my commas and all will be well.

When I was in LA, I used to take those long ass walks all around listening to my music and shit. I kept my eyes open for any stray animals left in boxes to adopt, because hello with that many people, surely there's abandoned furry things with big eyes. Never found a one.

On Wed or Thurs last week I get this frantic call from my boss down in the parking garage that there was a hungry stray kitty and to bring food fast before it got hit. Long story short, a girl at work I'm friendly with, Emily, rescued the kitty and kept it. She's had cats before, but doesn't currently (she has a Pom and two male roommates). It was very sweet, a gray and white male cat, not a small one like they rescue on Animal Planet but a good sized kitten. It played in our cube for a while in a paper bag. Pretty funny to watch. Mostly it slept curled up along her hip in her cardigan.

There was little doubt I could ever take it home with me (and I didn't want to hold it or touch it because I'd want it... watching it was bad enough) but I called mom to prank her and tell her I was bringing it home, no one else wanted it. She called Dave at work, who called his girlfriend at college, who called her aunt, to see if the aunt could take it. Dave calls ME to tell me no way, no cat, he's finding it a home right now and I have to explain it's a PRANK. Which only pissed him off further. Then I called mom back and told her it was a joke.

She said I'd better be prepared to move out if I brought the cat home. It wasn't coming the house, period. She even said to call Animal Control to get it, which astounded me.

So in light of all this, I may be considering moving out instead of moving to Los Angeles again. God knows I make enough money, but I'm not saving enough because these lazy fucktards suck all my paycheck away. Hundreds of dollars a month on groceries, fast food dinners (Dave NEVER seems to pay for ANYTHING), I pay for the cable/internet, getting the dog groomed, any stupid shitfull thing they want.

What *I* want is a cat. Life is so fucking painfully ironic sometimes.

Today was a really good day, mainly because I spent THREE AND A HALF HOURS in the most amazing craft store ever with someone who is only mildly craftastic. So all my ideas were "amazing" and "that's so creative" which is a nice ego boost. And with the discount prices and my $50 gift card from secretary's day, I only paid about half what I was expecting! SCORE!

Pat Catan's is like... well, my nipples were hard. Really, the art section is amazing, I actually didn't go down some aisles because I'd want things, like the masking fluid and an acrylic kit and more brushes. In fact, in three and a half hours, we didn't really hit the scrapbooking or jewelry sections, because by then our brains hurt and we were TIRED.

I bought some of the bestest stuff and I'm so inspired! Things that Joanne's and Michael's have NEVER had, like these tiny adorable 2 inch by 2 inch canvases, and hell, masking fluid, and pretty little bottles with cork stoppers, and GOOD tiny clear vase filler half-bead things, and silver leaf sheets, and a whole fucking aisle of just star merchandise. They had what had to be about a four foot high metal star, and every size from there on down. I don't know what the big deal with the stars is (are they nautical? they look a little like the emo tattoos that are mocked), but they had a whole fucking aisle.

I finally got my ampersand (wooden, not paper mache), and I was GOING to get a pack of giant pink pom poms to cover it with, but that was too much. "Why do you have an ampersand?" vs. "Why do you have an ampersand covered in pink pom poms?" Yeah.

I found this molding mesh that's going to be amazing and allow me to create contours for my canvases without adding much weight, and I found pre-made paper mache paste stuff in a box, which will also create the contours AND texture without adding the weight of the clay I was anticipating on being forced to use. In fact, they had about five different types of clay in one brand alone. I fondled so much stuff in that section.

They also had solid styrofoam balls and forms instead of just those fuzzy foam that flakes everywhere. I also picked up a bunch of things for texture under paint, like rattan mesh and feathery yarn and some flower petals. About the only thing I found wrong with the store was their lack of good stone merchandise. They did have sea glass, which is good, but I might have missed the entire mosaic aisle... their vase-filler slash marbles slash stones were a little sad.

BUT! I bought something that may be life-altering... it's an "iron" with different point attachments, so you can cut your own stencils by tracing with this hot fine tip, or you can use the triangle tool to scorch/burn edges of paper, and it has a hot knife feature to cut through foam core smoothly. FINALLY! But the best part, the reason I bought it, and would have paid twice as much, is the transfer flat iron attachment. You can transfer any laser printed image onto almost any surface with it.

Let me repeat.

You can transfer any laser printed image, be it color or black, onto almost any surface, be it cloth, canvas, or paper.

I can print out quotes and transfer them to canvas, before or after I paint on it. I can print out a picture and transfer pieces of it onto nine little 2x2 canvases to reassemble into a whole. I can add palm tree silhouettes to my sheer curtains. I can put a curly script title on the actual wood frame of a shadow box.

It really is mind-blowing.

I just need a desk/table work area for the room. Dammit.


And in other news, my cousin is [hopefully] sending me a manuscript my grandfather wrote. It's for a soft-core pulp porn novel.

It's HEREDITARY. How fucking hysterical is that?!

I feel restless but disinterested.

I buy things for projects but then they sit. At risk of failure in the attempt? Or needing to know I have what I need should that 1% specific momentum arise again to complete?

I want to paint and stitch, but I should be cleaning and organizing. But no one else does. So why bother.

I've been reading. I've conquered the brutal nightmares, so now sleep is almost fun. I can read horror novels again. I want to rent movies, but will they sit, like everything else? Wasted?

I don't know what I want to do, when I start I find "This isn't it." And then I stop. Action without motivation is useless.

Blah.

My colored glass palm tree ornament from Ocean City broke!!

I'm calling them Monday to see if they can ship me another one.

But it won't replace that one. SAD. FACE.

How does a 19 year old college student afford a portable PS game thingie plus three games for her BF for xmas, then turn around in MARCH and get him a PS3???

What fucking memo did I miss???

And why is she bent on making him even more shiftless than before!? I felt bad enough doing the WoW subscription. At least that expires sometimes.

When he's 45 and living in a reeking-of-ass-and-socks trailer, playing PS3 and WoW on his giant 80 inch plasma TV and sucking down the Coke Zeros, I hope we all can point back to these items and go "Gee, maybe those were bad gifts for a 25-year-old waiter with an Associates in nothing."

Today may be the day I take the midget down.... Donna pulled some fucked up repugnant shit yesterday, and then still bitched. If she so much as looks at me today, I will verbally bitch slap her till she cries to HR. Don't fuck with the babysitter.

So it had become time to actually DO SOMETHING with the shit I'd been buying for my room. I had/have plans, but to actually enact them after I come home exhausted really never worked out, so this weekend I FINALLY got to it. I took some pics of shit, and I'm not done, probably another two weeks/weekends and I will be, so I'll wait till then to share them.

And yet more backstory being that my closet "broke" because I had too much weight on the top shelf storing boxes of my childhood, so I was going to store them on top of my armoir and bookshelves and in those crappy plastic boxes under the bed, then came up with a cunning plan to just elevate my bed and store them in the boxes they're already in, under there. Which was quite cunning... I have six Baxter boxes (um, 12 inchs high?) under there filled with old school stuff, old childhood bookcase stuff (Eiffel tower statues, old diaries, god only knows) and boxes of my past jobs. (Also a foot bath in a box and my old old CPU which I can't get rid of because of all the damn porn and music on there... I won't give up yet!)

One box contained Steve things... and while I didn't open the three kraft envelopes sealed seven times around in packing tape and marked "DO NOT OPEN EVER," I did run across The Card and contained therein was The Email. Which I read, because it was NOT marked "DO NOT READ EVER."

It's funny how NOW, being out of that "relationship" and not so fucking butthurt over being rejected, that I kinda get what he was trying to say. Except, of course, the insults he flung around in his narcissistic whirlwind of pity that was 80% of The Email. I still think that is utter bullshit and hurts and pisses me off. But anyway.

And I looked at some of my old work stuff. I found my birthday card from EDMC, along with some goodbye gifts. I can't believe it was just summer of 2006. I found a polaroid of Maria and I when she came back from getting married (the second time) and I'd TP'd her cube. I don't recall the year, probably summer of 2000. I found the happy secretary's day card that only Stefanie and Susan signed for me from MedCom, which was like... meh, summer of 1997??? I found school pictures of friends from high school that were the wrong friends all along (except Sue-Wen, she was fucking awesome and I'm ashamed of how little I realized that). I'd say those were from 1991 or 1992.

In putting my Los Angeles Stuff in a box (with a zipper lid to keep it safe) I realized that was Fall 2003 - Fall 2004. Almost four years ago. And that really does feel like yesterday. I swear, half of me is still there, has a job, and occasionally while standing at the copier looks up and thinks about what life would be like in Pittsburgh, just as I'm doing the same in Pittsburgh and picturing LA. It's spooky. I picture places I've never actually been, and walks I've never been on, and times at the beach I never actually had. Spooky and depressing.

It's coming up on one year at Rizzo. Which is fucking insane. April 2, 2007. I can't believe the time has gone so fast.

And all this feels like I'm running in place. I haven't really done anything or accomplished much. In the last year at least I was running as fast as I could just to stay in one spot. As the theory goes, I'll have to run twice as fast to get anyplace at all. How exhausting.

It's funny how seven hours at work when you're supposed to be off was almost pleasant.

As opposed to Donna sending at least two emails a week in 16pt font yelling about something we did or didn't do properly.

And Linda buzzing around the corner, asking a question, plopping down, not letting me finish the answer, then taking off again.

And Kathy just being there, always behind me.

Very pleasant.

* Perfect health! CT Scan on sinuses came back clear, doctor told me to try a Neti Pot (I managed not to cry in front of him when I asked if I'd just have to live with this), shook my hand, said goodbye.

* Missed a day on my BCP and now I set off the deluge. It's only been two months. But I'm going to take tomorrow off (I am so fucking sleepy right now, I slept from like, 1am to 2pm today, with only about an hour in between where the drip on my window woke me up and I listened to Prehistoric X till I dozed off... wtf).

* I had something due to go out, but I made the changes and didn't print it. I was going to proof it, since the new chick thinks we capitalize things like compass directions, "federal" and "state," and the word "work." Also she tried to move a period from within quotes to without and I was all um denied.

* She also puts commas between simple sentences joined with a conjunction. It's really hard to explain the use of commas, I'm finding. She's putting them where she pauses in her reading for comprehension, not where she'd pause naturally. I told her to stop that. Read it for comprehension all the way through, THEN punctuate. But the simple sentences thing pisses me off. Plus, she has a fucking Gregg, USE IT. Look shit up.

* So I'm probably calling off and telling them the changes are made, ship the bitch. I don't think Donna has anything to do, plus it's stone cold repro, L can handle it herself I'm sure. Granted I took off Wednesday, but whatever. K took off Friday because she heard snow was coming. Bitch drives a 4 wheel truck thing and is afraid to drive in the snow. Ridiculous.

* Dave adjusted the computer chair here and it has started back problems for me. I'll sit in it and within 5 minutes the right side of my back under my bra strap area goes numb, then I get pain. And now, it happens at work, AND while I'm just standing outside waiting for the dog. I need to see a chiro and get a new chair. I hate Dave.

* Bought some purty shit at the Gem and Jewelry expo yesterday. Jade pendants, some beads for glass vases, and got some free stuff too. One is junk and going to Dave (it's hearts) but the other is a pretty, unique piece in blue I'm keeping. Plus we got in for free. I LOVE my tenant elevator pass! I HATE show employees who feel they're god. Bitch I will go where I want, I WORK here. NP!

* Have not cleaned room yet. Took pics of messiness, have not cleaned. I was tired, now I'm sleepy, and crampy. It's going to be a big job.

* Found a tv table on Harriet Carter (plus those mighty hooks that look like fishhooks?), but they no longer sell the blanket lifter thing for my feets. I wanted to do one stop shopping but nooooooo. And since I blew about $300 yesterday on jewelry, and another $200 on Wednesday on IKEA, Value City lamp (it's going back) and dinner, I'm gonna wait till payday this Friday to buy.

* I'm also waiting till then to buy D some Porn Fairy stuff. She was saying she was frustrated and I was like well don't you.... ? And she's like NO! And I'm like oh god, I'll hook you up. She's open to it, but doesn't want anything internal - not a virgin like I thought, just made a mistake with a guy and is now punishing herself/her body by not having sex till marriage. Good luck with that.

* IKEA was fucking awesome as hell, it was almost like Disney with the waving banners in the breeze. And the fact that it's in our town but so fucking far away from me as to be in another state. I haven't been there in TEN YEARS. It's two parkways, two tunnels, and one river away, which translates to traffic jams and a retarded bridge system. We have to be careful when we go to avoid most of the traffic. Ridiculous!

* I found only one thing from my list there, and by the time we left my right foot was mostly numb from the heel spurs. Normally I walk and sit, or stand and take sit breaks, but this was constant walking through the displays then the store. They had gorgeous vases but not in blue. I exited the lower elevator to the flower and vase display and said "Girly orgasm!" and Dave snorted and walked away. They had some cool staging but I didn't bring my camera :(

* They also sell cute stuffed animal spiders, beavers, and alligators! If only I was into collecting unique animals still... I did find boxes, some vases, and some dirt cheap cool xmas ornaments (25c for 4!). The whole "cute and cheap" thing adds up though, pretty fast. If it's $10 here and $14 there... well, you know.

* I have inspired people with my plants!!! They had a trade show about plants/flowers for six hours at the expo, and Donna mentioned that last year they just left all the cut flowers for the trash. She said this year she was going down when they started packing up and getting some. Of course, everyone in the office (except J which is another sign he's not seeing anyone!) went down to get flowers. But even the PLANT VENDORS were pitching their wares!!! I was like, wtf, you have beautiful hostas and ferns, take them back, grow them, sell them! But no, so one of the women who said she "fell in love" with my cubicle because it was so green and homey was working late and salvaged a fuckton of plants. She was trying to give some to me but I have a black thumb. However, there's now rows of live plants all over the office, mostly given by her to the people who also said they loved my cube. I'm proud.

* Of course the night this happens I go to Michaels and see these CUTE little pots of gerber daisies for $5. I buy three, thinking one for M and one for D and one for either Donna (who has real flowers on her desk each week but could keep it UNDER her shelf) or Kim, who is returning in March. I get to work Thurs and find oh hey, they have real shit now, they don't need my fake crap. Whatevs. They're going back. They're very sweet, but I don't need them, personally.

* I have some cool new music, some of which is actually uploaded to Box.net. You can listen to bunches of stuff before you download - MUsic SHaring aka MUSH. There's 200+ files, some are recent, some are old, some are just things I had to share not that I really like them. You decide. I have CB uploading now since i forgot to do that earlier.

* I'm going back to bed.

So on Wednesday I heard our exec admin ordering the monthly birthday cake, and I FINALLY heard J's name on the list. As I'm pondering a thought comes to me but I figure no, never happen.

So on Thursday when we get a birthday email announcement wishing someone there a happy birthday, I AGAIN have a thought but figure no, that'd be too cute...

Sure enough, J is a Valentines baby!

Thursday was the day we moved from a split cube to one cube, shared between Kathy and I, and after we moved Kathy was telling J, whom we sit near now (YAY!) if we're too loud to either tell us to shut up or come join us. He laughed and said it wouldn't be a problem.

Later he stopped by to find where Kathy put the candy dish and I casually asked, while cleaning my new, filthy phone, if his birthday got him an easy out for valentines. He laughed and said SOMETHING, and I wish I could remember the exact phrasing, but he said no, it hadn't in the past - which phrasing was pretty much to me an obvious statement that he's not seeing anyone NOW. I wish I could remember!

Kathy said that Valentines was important (she buys herself diamonique and has that puppy poster, you recall) and I said birthdays were WAY more important and it didn't seem fair for him to miss out because of valentines. Then... I forget, we all kinda petered out and wandered off.

I wished him a happy birthday as I was leaving for the day. He's so adorable.

So here's pics of the doll in J's cube, but Dave didn't get any close shots of her face (he was there to sneak into the Home Show with me, and I was stuck doing work at 6pm on a Friday!!! argh).



Normally you can't get this close to the wall of his cube because we added filing cabinets along there, so no one GETS this view unless they step up and lean. So really, no one can see the doll, mostly.

The thing on top of her head is the top of the "swing" she's supposed to be on, plus the round circle thing as a hanger. The green ribbons are the strings between the top and bottom of the swing, and loop around her wrists. When I sat down in his cube and commented on the doll, I said I wasn't sure but I thought she was on a swing, unless the green ribbons were some sort of weird doll bondage thing. Not sure if he caught that, since he was already laughing.


Also, since I opened PaintShop for THIS, I figured I'd do the latest images too.

The Czech glass ornaments I bought that I tossed in my shell dish until I found something to transport them safely home in. The blue is egg shaped, the purple is a ball. They were $7 when I sent D. down to pay, but he said $14 when I took them, so I'm a little displeased that he was trying to gyp me out of $7 when I was going to help him pack for 4 hours!!!


I fucking LOVE this marble ball. It's got these deep crystals in it that are fascinating. I love to take it with me and fondle when I have to do a shakedown of a naughty engineer. I also roll it around and fiddle with it when I'm proofing. It was $8.50, wholesale. The stand he got me for $1.50. Whatevs. Diff guy than the Czech glass.


Oh and we're NOT moving locations. The same landlord, different locations, and they want to soak us for $1M to break our current lease, remodel the new office, and transport our shit for us. So instead, we're staying where we are, waiting out the next door neighbor till Dec 08 when THEIR lease is up, then knocking down the dividing wall and rebuilding their space to mesh with our own. It'll only cost $100K. And until then, our usual "field" people will be living in a trailer (DOWN BY THE RIVER) over in an abandoned store's parking lot across the road. I shit thee not. Of course, our field people are only in the office for maybe a month or two every five months, and they're used to working out of trailers, so no big. But it's FUNNY.

Here's what the Expo looks like with a show on. We're the blob sign on the first balcony.


So.... yeah.

So what's it mean when the joke doll sits on his desk for the last two days?

I expected it to be on my desk Monday. Nope.

I expected it to be gone by Tuesday, either hidden, or in the kitchen as a freebie, or maybe behind him even on a shelf. Nope.

It's still on his desk.

So does this mean .... what? He keeps forgetting to take it home/pitch it? Or he likes it there as a reminder of our little joke? And having to explain it to anyone who asks?

He's on vacation Thurs and Fri. I wonder if he'll take it Wednesday.

He said thank you for it, too. He was laughing, but still.... Why is he keeping it!?

I got the doll for J., left it on his desk. Waited all week for him to come back, worrying over his reaction.

Today? Off with a migraine.

I TRIED to go in late, half day, but the smell of my hair and my jeans is making me ill again.

I think it's a sign if I dropped the dragon pendant off my necklace THREE TIMES (which I never ever do) before getting it around my neck.

WTF is wrong with me :( I hope he thought it was funny. And it's not sitting at MY desk now.

Jesus.

In my desperate attempt to have attention, I joked with the Crush, who is away for most of the week, that he'd miss the creepy doll wholesale prices tomorrow and that I'd have to get him one to put in his cube. He replied to get him two, if there's enough left. I didn't reply but it's enough of a challenge that I will. It helps that the dolls are priced CHEAP because they don't want to repack them.

And then I was like, why can't I sell these on Ebay and make some money? There were some cute maybe 8inch dolls that look like they're $2... pop those babies (no pun) online and see what I can get.

We'll see tomorrow when we go down to shop at 10am. Most everyone is pricing for cash and carry at this point to avoid repacking. I need to remember to take boxes. I can't decide if I want to get J. a "tassle" doll like this for $2 or something else. They have moose statues, penguins, polar bears, wedding dolls, baby dolls, etc. They even have skeletons with chains on in wooden cages. He can either sell it or give it to Goodwill, whatever, it's only a few bucks for a joke and ATTENTION.


And Randall, my brother and I geeked out over your gift. You really should stop doing that!! But thank you!!! I can't decide which to watch first... Probably High Anxiety, I haven't seen it in AGES and I barely remember it. WONDERFUL!!!!

Do you ever have one of those dreams that feels like real life, except it's like maybe, three clicks different on a Rubik's cube? Like, you're having normal thoughts, "Oh, have to get back to the hotel before checkout time," and you maybe know it's a dream, but everything feels almost real? But NOT, like if you'd say "How far on Grant do you go?" to the cab driver and he says "Only to Wilshire." which is mixing Pgh and LA, but it's all OK.

And then you wake up in a bit of a panic and have to bolt from the room and don't want to go back because you can't shake the dream and you CAN'T REMEMBER WHAT YOUR REAL LIFE IS LIKE????

Yeah.

Did you ever wish you could take your legs off for a couple hours? I'm not shaving my legs till Spring. They're so dry that when I took a bath the other day, and sat down in an inch of water, my legs immediately erupted in a "razor burn" like I haven't seen in years. Just from WATER. So instead of shaving them twice a week to keep the stubble down so it doesn't hurt to, well, exist, I'm going to suck it up and grow them out.

Also, the other reason I can actually do this is because my micro-fleece blanket from Target ($20, great stuff) is so fucking awesome I can sleep curled in it at night. As opposed to inside my bed ($20 bamboo sheets from Target are rough as hell) with a bunch of heavy blankets on me and my legs irritated. Because the micro-fleece doesn't irritate my legs! Amazing! And it's so WARM. Snuggly even. Which rocks.

We had stand up taco shells tonight for dinner and yet mom insisted in breaking them up into a taco salad. I'm like, yes, but THEY STAND UP on their own! You're ruining the magic! No no, taco salad. She's all "I can't believe you're getting worked up over this." and I'm like I can't believe you're not even going to TRY them and then she went on for a bit and I finally yelled "I don't care if you fucking make origami out of them, stop talking about the taco shells!"

Did I mention on Tuesday I'm going to help this guy pack up his display at the gift show at the expo in exchange for $40 free stuff? Did I mention he's got these wee tiny itty bitty glass animal sculptures too and a few are salamanders that I want? Did I mention art glass (fused, dichroic, whatever) is like my crack?

Did I ever link this site, which is adult, and has really arty-good pictures of hot sometimes semi-naked chicks, that gets updated daily? Or that this pic and this pic and this pic are my favorites?

Did I ever talk about ZUG and the fact that I laughed till I almost threw up reading this article and that I LOVED this and this and well you can browse the rest of the site.

It's past my bedtime.

I'd REALLY like to stop thinking about someone, except you know, I can't. And it's pissing me off because it's so unlikely, except it's entirely possible it's NOT unlikely and it would be amazing, except it's so unlikely.

And what's worse is this cute new girl started and she's sitting near him and asking him for help on things (because her stupid witch boss didn't introduce her to ANY of the admin staff at ALL!) like faxes and phones and stuff, and she's CUTE and actually his height.

I AM JEALOUS.

This whole thing seriously sucks.

It's PMS. Because I'm down to that third week of pills when normally I crave things (like chocolate cupcakes, CHECK, hot dogs, CHECK, gallons of water, CHECK) except I'm not going to HAVE A PERIOD so if this lasts for the next three months holy fuck please kill me.

Also, I ITCH because apparently while I did have a yeastie beastie as I thought, it wasn't a problem until I TOOK THE MEDICATION TO GET RID OF IT. Maybe it's interfering with my antibiotics (or vice versa) so I stopped taking those, which were useless, but now...

I feel fat, horny, sad, lonely and itchy.

He totally got the Caddyshack quote on my wall and he laughed at it.

Make it stop