I close my eyes and count to 10.

Bailey..

2004-04-06T17:02:16Z

Have a happy birthday.. Nice trip and life in Missouri.. Let's hope you don't do a guy like you did me.

My God..

2004-03-28T04:27:04Z

I was hit on by a Drag King today at the Mall.. Not a Drag Queen (thank God) But a Drag King! Yeah, I was like with my cousin walking. And we were just leaving Spencers Gifts and all of a sudden this "manlike" figure I guess you could say? Looks at me and speaks these dreading words to my ears.. "Oh, yeah. I'd turn straight for you. Yes sir, yes sir." So that THING walks away and I'm just standing there like "What The Hell?!" you know.. And I look at my cousin who is laughing constantly. So I'm like, "How can that dude-- Wait.. He's a dude, and I'm a dude. How can he liking me be considered hetero?" And my cousin all laughing trying to get words out. "Du-Du- Ha, heh. That wasn't a dude, that was a chick. A female dressed up like a guy. A Drag King!" At the same time I feel relieved, strangely flattered.. Yet disturbed. So me and my cousin hit Aladdin's Castle because we want to play that dancing game. And I see her there. Anyways I avoid her.. And that's the end of that. So my day was strange yet flattering. Anyways I'm out.... So? Goodbye, I guess?

."The Word, It's Meaning".

2004-03-25T17:12:22Z

I speak the meaning of one word,
Not "Life", not "Nevermore", not "Time"
But for a word I can't afford
To overpass it in my rhymes.

Undaunted still I feel like haunted
For I can't pick one definition
Which defines this word, affronted
By all its meanings in collision.

It's something I can't touch or see,
It's something I can only feel,
It's something deep inside of me,
Something ya'll can never kill.

Still it's not just "something" for us,
It's the "thing" we all want to own,
It's the "thing" which makes us thus
Above all animals, alone.

This word remains a mystery
And still I use it every time
Within my thoughts in reverie
Or in my love and sorrow rhymes.

."Death's Little Messenger".

2004-03-24T19:43:30Z

Count your blessings, like a menacing shadow, there he appears,
Residing on the window seal, you gasp with horror, bask with fear.

Once was a prosperous day, but the sky turns dark,
Watch as the wind carries him away, you feel your world tearing apart...

."Xplanationz".

2004-03-24T19:26:31Z

This is more like the wind, that carries your breath
I saw what the future holds, what we got left?
Why can't we get along? Think about the days past?
You stand in torment, do you think you could last?

I found myself stirring, wondering why life is so cruel,
Actually I was toe the toe with doubt, preparing for a duel.
You think this is absurd? Well, so do I,
I witnessed a grown man testify, and his mother cry.

What do these streets hold for us? Redemption is nigh,
I wish I could be like the feather, forever I would fly.
But what we need are answers, the ones to our prayers,
Why wont they come true, ask God if you dare.
So if you find yourself lost, all but escape temptations,
Welcome to my abode, prepare for Xplanationz.