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[Tuesday
August 11th, 2009
8:09pm] |
i have 2 words for you
SELFISH ASSHOLE
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[Tuesday
January 13th, 2009
2:06pm] |
and im scared to be alone
and im scared of love
and letting people in
but how can i ever find someone if im afraid of all the doors to lead me to them
i guess im mostly scared of getting hurt again, because i always try to see the best in people
and then im always let down
or disappointed
i need someone to hold my hand
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[Monday
December 22nd, 2008
11:28am] |
so i feel like this is sorta necessary... but i dont think it is at the same time but idk okay anyway
the other night i feel like i may have offended some people because i refused to talk about what was wrong...
yet i went outside to call and cry to jill..
well i didnt know WHAT was wrong, so i couldnt actually tell any of you what was bothering me since i didnt know myself what was wrong.
also, jill had been talkin to me ALL day trying to make me feel better and figure out what it was that was bothering me earlier in the day
which is why is why i called her
because she told me if i needed her throughout the night to have a pep talk... to call her
so i did
not to mention, i felt shitty enough for ruining everyones night by having them constantly worry about me
i didnt want ot be that person
i didnt want to spoil anyone elses night
so if i offended anyone, since i could sorta see it in some peoples expressions when i came back in the house, im sorrry if you felt like i should have went to talk to you
it doesnt mean i didnt want to talk to you guys
its that i didnt know what to tell you, because if you were to ask jill what i was saying she would respond with "jill i have no fucking idea what thehell is wrong with me..cry cry cry.. i wanna go home cry cry cry im sorry"
and i didnt want to have to torture you all with that
im sorry and i love you all so please dont be offended if you were
2008 review :)
jan- im so over all the drama
feb- what goes around comes back around BITCHES
march- dear uconn stop kicking my ass and making me break down
april- last night with sean was amazing despite not being able to sleep.
may- finals start monday
june- i work way too much on the weekends :(
july- incadella told me to take back me saying i have no common sense and to never say
anything negative about myself again
august-last night was nuts
sept- The rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself
oct- i swear i can be what you need
nov- so i just checkd my accounting grade. i got a 54
dec- i guess the saying is true.... only the good die young
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[Tuesday
December 16th, 2008
11:27pm] |
Ain’t nobody home, so come on over here
Let’s play hide and seek, in our underwear
I find you, I can get it right there
You find me, then I get bare
Either way we both win, now that’s fair
Whatever I gotta do to be with you Oh Yeah
You my king, I’m your queen, now that’s a nice pair
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[Saturday
November 22nd, 2008
2:42pm] |
Looking so innocent,
I might believe you if I didn't know
Could've loved you all my life
If you hadn't left me waitin' in the cold
And you got to share your secrets
And I'm tired of being last to know
And now you're asking me to listen
Cause it's worked each time before
But you don't have to call anymore
I won't pick up the phone
This is the last straw
Don't wanna hurt anymore
And you can tell me that you're sorry
But I don't believe you baby,
Like I did before
You're not sorry.
No, no, Oh.
You're not sorry.
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[Saturday
November 15th, 2008
9:20pm] |
- im losing weight and working out
- im dying my hair a new shade of blonde and getting a new hairstyle maybe?
- im finally getting my belly button pierced
- im cutting down onmy drinking
- increasing my studies to make up for my shitty accting exam
- reconnecting with old friends
- having more fun than i have had in years
- over it all
i seriosuly love the new me. and im finally happy with how my life is going :)
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[Thursday
November 13th, 2008
8:23pm] |
Catch Moss 83 (5:31:14 PM): i want you to know that i am sorry for everything that happened and i want u ti know that i dont wanna lose you as a friend
that made me more mad, than happy.
screw you if you think you deserve for me to forgive you WEEKS after i find out, and you couldnt even say sorry then
and you arent gonna even try to keep me as a friend, youre all talk no action, so why should i even accept it
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[Tuesday
November 11th, 2008
1:39am] |
there comes a point in your life when you realize:
-who matters
-who never did
-who wont anymore
-and who always will
so dont worry about the people from your past, theres a reason why they didnt make it to your future :)
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[Friday
November 7th, 2008
4:56pm] |
OH HEY GUESS WHAT
i just found out sean cheated on me at eastern too
funny how i ALWAYS find out
i never should have listened to your dad when he told me to find a reason for you not to join the national gaurd
i should have let you go
instead of finding you a school
whatever.
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[Thursday
November 6th, 2008
11:30pm] |
listen to your best friends when
they tell you he's not worth it.
because they can see what you refuse to
i wonder if i ever cross your mind when you kiss her, touch her, etc
i wonder if that year and a half ever makes you think, miss it.
i wonder if you ever feel regret for cheating on me, feel bad about it.
i wonder a lot... but i dont wonder if ill be okay, because i know im better off without you
oh and if your gonna take pictures making out that show up on my newsfeed, atleast tell your little girlfriend to close her eyes so the picture doesnt look more disgusting than it already is.
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[Monday
October 27th, 2008
12:21am] |
what im looking forward to....
stat and accounting exams being done with on thursday
stupid women studies project being over
edward 40 hands pair offs and case racee in 2 weeks?
saw V with my favorites
dressing like a total whore on halloween for the first time ever, because hell i just dont care anymore
and getting what i want... because god so help me its gonna happen :)
weeeeeeeeeeeee
oh anddd rooming with lindsay next year, since well we already decided on it :)! yayayaya
i sorta wanna look into apts or celeron or something fun
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[Sunday
October 26th, 2008
3:39pm] |
ive come to realize when im drunk i trash my room, lose shit, text too much, dance too much, and act like a totalll crazzyyyyy
i need to stop drinking hahahaha
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[Wednesday
October 22nd, 2008
10:20am] |
life is too short do anything but things you will regret not doing
i seriously cant stop thinking about bailey, despite how i didnt know him all that much
i just remember how he was one of the first guys i met the summer going into my ffreshman year of highschool because my neighbor invited him over
i remember him getting so drunk he was singing and dancing in my neighbors hot tub, and i could NOT stop laughing
he always made everyone laugh
it was like you couldnt help but laugh around him, he was contagious
i keep thinking about what if i were to die tomorrow, how many things would go unsaid, how many things i would regret not doing.
this is why i hate going to sleep mad, because you never know when the last time you will see/talk to someone
thats what happen with elshamy
i never got to say im sorry, and when i finally realized it was time, it was too late and he was taken from us. <rip3
its just so hard to think how one day life can be normal, and the next could potentially be your last day.
bailey was just walking home and got shot in the head. like really?! why!?
why does there ahve to be soo much hate and violence in this world, that someone would be willing to just shoot a bystander, in the head, for the hell of it
it makes me sick, absolutely sick how our society today, just lets this shit happen.
its ebcome a regualar social norm, that only those who are affected... pay attention
i could cry, how bailey just had his life taken like that.
or when elshamy died and people said good ridance, because he was writing graffitti above the train bridge.
GOOD RIDANCE? really! considering he was writing words of christianity, and was railed by a train, i dont think anyone deserves to go like that.... even what people perceive to be a "hoodlum" for gettin caught once tagging a bridge.... there are a lot worse people out there... like the people who shot bailey, or the people who held up an armed robbery on my campus last night... or the 2 guys we finally caught for rape, theft and breaking and entering here at the beginning of the semester...fuunny how 14 out of 15 rapists go free, and 1 out of 3 individuals is either sexually assaulted or raped.... like i said. social norm
no one is safe, and thats why we must live every day ike its our last, to thank those for being there for us, to tell everyone we love... we love them. to mend broken friendships and relationships, and to not go to sleep angry... because in the morning it just might be too late.
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[Tuesday
October 21st, 2008
6:06pm] |
so today i found out that rich bailey died
you probably see this and wonder, who the hell is that
well i went to high school with him, sure he graduated when i was still young in hs, but i can still remember him in the hallways
everyone loved him, he was so sweet and funny, the party guy who everyone couldnt help but smile around
sure i didnt really knoow him, but what i knew was that he was a really good guy
rest in peace bailey<3
http://www.nydailynews.com/news/ny_crime/2008/10/21/2008-10-21_long_island_college_student_shot_to_deat.html
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[Wednesday
October 8th, 2008
8:23pm] |
but your just a boy you don't understand
how it feels to love a girl
someday youll wish you were a better man
you dont listen to her
you dont care how it hurts
until you lose the one you wanted
cus you're takin her for granted
and everythin you had got destroyed
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[Tuesday
October 7th, 2008
3:41pm] |
being that it has come to my attention that people TELL MY MOTHER whats on here, this journal is officially friends only, unless i have something important to say.
that is all
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[Sunday
October 5th, 2008
11:18pm] |
i congratulate anyone who is capable of hurting others, and not giving a shit.
i envy you, for being able to be so selfish, self centered, and hurtful.
i wish i could have no cares like that, and only worry about myself.
nice girls finish last
and theres no such thing as nice guys anymore
i wish you meant it when you said "i miss you too noelle"
maybe you did, but not like how i do
3 months without you.. feels like its be absolutely forever, yet feels ilke it happen yesterday
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[Sunday
October 5th, 2008
6:46pm] |
"i wanna be with you, i love you. shut up, i love you okay."
"i wanna take you away from everything that makes you crazy"
i want this
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[Saturday
October 4th, 2008
4:34pm] |
confidence flirting batting eyelashes and smiling
key to everything
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[Tuesday
September 30th, 2008
4:17pm] |
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seriouslyy can not wait until matthew comes to visit, and halloween!
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