Title: Living is Easy with Eyes Closed (16/20)
Author:
_living_is_easy
Rating: R for material Content
Summary: After Lord of the Rings, nothing was the same. No one had that connection. No one called him. Dom felt lost and everything in his power told him to hang on, that things would be better. But as time grew on, Dom lost his hope and turned to other ways in dealing with this new depression. Nothing would ever be the same.
Disclaimer: I do not know/own Dominic Monaghan or Billy Boyd (How ever much I would like to). This story is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Though some things could be based on fact, I have no proof whatsoever. Please enjoy and feedback is nice.
Warnings: Angst. If you do not like the whole idea of cutting, drinking, depression this isn’t for you. Even with a happy ending, the going gets tough.
Feedback: It fuels the fire, and anything is appreciated! There is always room to improve.
A/N: This was beta’d by yours truly. Any mistakes, are my own damn fault. ~~~ is used to represent flash backs!!
Previous Chapters: .:1:. .:2:. .:3:. .:4:. .:5:. .:6:. .:7:. .:8:. .:9:. .:10:. .:11:. .:12:. .:13:. .:14:. .:15:.
Dom opened his eyes slowly, looking around the room for a moment. He let out a soft yawn before reaching his arms up to cross under his head. The clock across the room told him it was almost 2:30 in the morning. Biting down on his lower lip he sat up and slid off of the bed. He didn’t know exactly what had woken him… but suddenly he was wide awake. From the other room, he could hear Billy snoring softly.
June 28th
Am I supposed to feel like a different person now? Am I supposed to feel like I’m someone new? That’s what I feel like… I look around, I look at myself, and I am me like I was before, but I’m not at the same time. I thought I was changed a couple weeks ago… but that was nothing.
I laughed the other day… I laughed so hard I was on the verge of tears. I was singing, laughing, talking to Billy like we used to talk. I was… well, I was happy. I smiled… I was alive. And I liked it… I’m like that now. I’m just… happier I guess. And I want things to change, I really really do… and I think they have. Looking back and reading all the old entries from a couple weeks ago… I was ruined then. I really was. I had no idea what I wanted, what I was doing… but now I know. I know what I want. I want things to go back to how they were before… I want to be who I was 2 years ago. I want to be Billy’s best friend. I want to be Dom… the cheeky one who played the cheeky hobbit.
And I think… that can finally happen. Or at least I hope it can… being here, Billy hasn’t faltered in anything… I told him to leave and still, he stayed. That says something doesn’t it? Maybe I was wrong before… maybe I just didn’t see it before. But I see now.
I want to change things… and I want to fix things. I don’t know the first fucking step in accomplishing any of that… but I think it will just come to me. Everything just comes to me it seems. It did back then… the answer called out to me... whether it was hiding in the bathroom, laying under the table, or resting in the kitchen. So, cant these answers find me as well?
I hope they can.
Dom closed the journal slowly and laid back down on the bed. He tapped his foot for a couple minutes, humming a tune from The Beatles, and surprisingly feeling content. Looking over at the clock, only 15 minutes had passed. Billy wouldn’t be up until at least 8 and since they had stayed up later the night before watching movies and adding new commentary to the Return of the King movie, they had really only been to bed for a little over an hour now.
Taking a deep breath, he suddenly remembered something he had been meaning to do. There was someone… he still needed to thank, someone he still needed to talk to. Standing up, he slowly left his room, hoping that he would be quiet enough so he wouldn’t wake Billy, and went to the phone in the Kitchen. Picking it up, he quickly calculated the time in LA.
“Hello?” A girl answered the phone, giggling madly, and sounding like she was quite pissed.
“Uh hi…?” Dom said confused for a moment and afraid he had gotten the wrong number.
“Hi.” She giggled back and then cried out in protest. “No! Lij, I answered the phone not you!” Dom heard her call out, giggling again.
“Hannah, its my fucking phone!” Dom heard a man reply. He smiled softly knowing he had gotten the right number. “Give it to me!”
“No!” She said and Dom heard something fall over. The girl –Hannah- started to laugh harder.
“Are you alright?!” Elijah exclaimed and Dom clicked his tongue, debating on whether or not to hang up and call back or not. “Idiot. Hello?”
“Uh Hello.” Dom said.
“Uh… hi.” Elijah said back. “Who…”
“Hey Elijah.” Dom said clearing his throat quickly. “S’Dom.”
Elijah was quiet for a moment and Dom found he was holding his breath. “Dom?” Elijah exclaimed softly. “Dom! How are you? Is everything okay? I was worried… I called your flat but you didn’t answer so I called Billy’s the other day and…”
“Elijah. Fucking breathe mate.” Dom said grabbing a stool and sliding up onto it. “I’m… well I’m okay.” He said honestly.
“Really? That’s good. How is… well how’s Glasgow?” Elijah said, then held the phone away as Dom started to reply. “Hannah I’m on the fucking pho- for gods sake!… I don’t need you fucking taking your clothes off in my living room. Go to your room… sleep… and don’t fucking puke on the bed. Sorry.” He said coming back onto the phone.
“Got her pissed did you?” Dom asked laughing. Elijah mumbled his response, making Dom laugh harder.
“Well, seems like you’re happier.” Elijah scoffed, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.
“Yeah… I am. You asked how Glasgow was, its pretty good. Billy and I have, well for the most part, been lazy and watching every fucking movie he owns. We saw Maggie as well… it didn’t… well it was interesting.”
“Yeah? Billy told me about you guys going over there... boyfriend an easy drunk Billy said? Is he alright though? I mean, good to Mags and all?” Elijah asked taking a sip of something. Probably a beer.
Dom’s eyes darkened a moment. “Yeah… don’t know him much. Only talked a couple minutes.” Dom spat more harshly then he meant to. He closed his eyes, hoping Elijah didn’t notice. He hadn’t.
“Oh well, I guess she’s happy though yeah?” Elijah said sinking back into his couch, listening for a moment to make sure his sister wasn’t puking, or breaking anything or herself.
“Yeah… she is.” Dom said softly. Both side were quiet for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. Dom bit his lower lip and waited for Elijah to continue.
“I,” Elijah started taking a deep breath. “I don’t really know how to ask this.”
“Yeah.” Dom said smiling sadly. “You want… to know why.” Dom said waiting a moment.
“No… well, yes and no.” Elijah said softly, hesitating a moment. “I… well… I went to clean and stuff…” He said for a moment. “And I saw you’re… it was open and I didn’t mean to read it just…”
“You read the page that Billy read, I know.” Dom said nodding to himself. “But…”
“I… Dom… I kind of read from when Rings ended.” Elijah whispered.
Dom froze and stared down at the phone. “You read, the whole fucking thing?” He said softly, but darkly. “You read every single page?!” Elijah made a soft noise, not answering. “You… fuck… Elijah why the fuck would you do that?!” Dom said trying to keep his voice down. Anger suddenly flared up in him. Those were his private thoughts. His private words, poems, songs. It was his private fucking journal! He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip.
“I’m sorry….” Elijah whispered, afraid because Dom wasn’t speaking, at just how mad Dom was at him. He wanted Dom to say something, say anything, but another part of him wanted Dom to say nothing. He didn’t want Dom to start yelling at him.
“I… understand.” Dom said taking a deep breath. “Billy did too.” He said shortly. And Billy had. For some reason though, he didn’t feel uncomfortable or as angry at the fact that Billy had. Knowing Billy had read the entry, if not more of them, just made him feel ashamed.
“I… did he?” Elijah said softly. “I’m really really sorry Dom.” Elijah whispered shaking his head.
Dom nodded and sighed rather loudly. “I know.” He said coughing and looking over at the clock. Only 10 minutes had gone by. “Anything else you want to know.” He said in a bored tone. Elijah flinched but ignored it.
“Anything you want to tell me Dom is good… I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me about something’s… I understand that… but…” Elijah trailed off and Dom heard him taking a bigger gulp from his beer.
“But what.” He said as calmly as he could. He leaned back in the stool, resting against the fridge.
“I just want you to know…” Elijah started slowly. “That… I didn’t mean to do it Dom.”
“What are you on about?” Dom sat up again, confused.
“I didn’t mean to not call… I didn’t mean to ditch you or anyone else. I didn’t mean to just… fuck off and forget about everything while I was doing Sunshine and all the other movies that I was doing… and I didn’t forget, I really didn’t Dom. I… fuck…” Elijah took a deep breath and Dom listened hard. It sounded like he was crying. “I want everything to be okay again Dom! I want… I want you me and Billy and Orlando to sit down and just… fuck around, get pissed, and play all the stupid games we used to play. I want things to be like they were. I always wanted them like that…”
“Elijah…”
“No Dom… I really, really, really do! But now Billy is mad at me and I don’t want him to be mad at me. I pushed… I pushed too hard and I was the one that got annoying. I didn’t want to be annoying Dom!” Elijah was crying softly, but pressed on, ignoring Dom. “Orlando was getting all famous and shit and I’m happy for him… I’m so fucking happy and proud of him and for him! I just… I wanted to be in still. I wanted to be… fuck…. Just fuck. Dom, you have Billy… you had Billy and do you know how hard that was to know you were never going to be part of the Dom and Billy thing? I… I was jealous and so… I… god.” Elijah stopped, and Dom heard him sob.
“Elijah… fuck…” He said softly. They were quiet… thinking, listening. Dom never really thought about what everyone else had felt at that point in time. They were all driven apart… all split and trying to move on… They hadn’t called but hell, neither did he!
“I know I’ll never be a part of that Dom.” Elijah whispered, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out.”
“No, don’t be sorry. You’re one of my best mates Lij… you’re supposed to talk to me.” Dom said smiling sadly.
“Yeah… great how that’s going yeah?” Elijah laughed shortly and Dom heard the phone being pressed against Elijah’s chest as he turned to talk to his sister. A loud beep made Dom jump, nearly falling off the stool. “Sorry…” Elijah giggled. “Pressed a button.”
“Wanker.” Dom replied, smiling again.
“So?” Elijah retorted, laughing loudly. Dom smiled… he didn’t want Elijah to be upset. He sighed and leaned back against the fridge once more. Things needed to start changing, more then they already were. He needed to think…
“Elijah?”
“Yeah Dom?”
“Just…” Sighing he looked down at his feet, swinging over the end of the stool. “Don’t… forget everything you read okay?”
“Dom…”
“I… was in a dark place Lij.” Dom said pressing on and closing his eyes. He needed to say this to Elijah, and he didn’t think he would be able to say it more then once. “I… those were thoughts of someone deep inside of me. They weren’t me… and I think… fuck, you know I think I knew it wasn’t true… parts of it anyways. I just… I didn’t know what to do anymore Lij. I was… fucked up really, really, fucked up. And then… that helped. Writing that, helped. But… don’t listen to it okay?”
“I… okay Dom… It’s… its forgotten.” Elijah said licking his lower lip and closing his own eyes.
“Good…” Dom said nodding his head. “I… I really do love you Lij… and thank you for going and you know, cleaning and shopping and doing all that shite for me.”
“Don’t worry about it… wanker.” Elijah said smiling.
“Still can’t fucking get it can you?”
“Ass hole.” Elijah fired at him.
“That, sounds right.” Dom laughed and bit on his lower lip. “I better get back to bed… you go and take care of Hannah… give her a hug from me… and make sure she isn’t puking.”
“Yeah yeah.” Elijah said laughing. “I’ll uh… talk to you soon yeah?”
“Yeah… I think so.” Dom said nodding his head.
“Bye Dom.”
“Bye Lij.” Dom said hanging up the phone. He sat there for a minute. The clock behind him was ticking, erasing the seconds of the morning, and moving forward, moving on. Time, wasn’t going to stop no matter how much Dom wanted it to. He could sit there, thinking, staring off, but time was still going to go on around him. It always had. It was his job, to seek it and catch up with it. It was his job… to figure out the mess inside of his head.
Getting off the stool Dom walked quietly down the hall, stopping at Billy’s bedroom door. Billy was asleep, his leg twisted around the comforter, on his stomach. He was still snoring soundly and Dom shook his head. Billy had done so much for him and Dom never, not even once, stopped to ask himself what Billy thought. What Billy was feeling, and thinking, at the time when everything fell apart. At the time when Dom believed everyone else but him had changed and abandoned him.
Not once had he said thank you. He had never bothered to ask what Billy had been thinking. He never looked at Billy to see if he was alright and if he was okay. It was all about him… it had been for months. Taking a deep breath Dom crossed the room quietly, shaking Billy’s arm gently.
“Dom?” Billy whispered groggily before shooting up and looking down to Dom. “Dom you okay?” He said louder, forcing himself awake.
“I’m fine.” Dom said sitting next to him and wrapping his arms around him tightly.
“I…” Billy started, confused. He wrapped his arms around Dom and hugged him back, smiling tiredly, now not as alert.
“I just… I want to thank you Billy. For just… being there for me. Like, really…” Dom said moving back to look into his eyes. “Thank you.”
Billy smiled and nodded, grabbing him into another hug.
“It’s fucking 3 am. Get the fuck to bed you wanker.” Dom said smiling cheekily as Billy let him go. Billy threw a pillow at his back as he ran out of the room and back to his own. ‘Bloody git.’ He heard Billy curse, trying to go back to sleep. Dom smiled as he climbed back into bed. He turned, facing the wall, trying to sleep, but finding the small smile never leaving his face.
Chapter Seventeen
Author:
_living_is_easyRating: R for material Content
Summary: After Lord of the Rings, nothing was the same. No one had that connection. No one called him. Dom felt lost and everything in his power told him to hang on, that things would be better. But as time grew on, Dom lost his hope and turned to other ways in dealing with this new depression. Nothing would ever be the same.
Disclaimer: I do not know/own Dominic Monaghan or Billy Boyd (How ever much I would like to). This story is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. Though some things could be based on fact, I have no proof whatsoever. Please enjoy and feedback is nice.
Warnings: Angst. If you do not like the whole idea of cutting, drinking, depression this isn’t for you. Even with a happy ending, the going gets tough.
Feedback: It fuels the fire, and anything is appreciated! There is always room to improve.
A/N: This was beta’d by yours truly. Any mistakes, are my own damn fault. ~~~ is used to represent flash backs!!
Previous Chapters: .:1:. .:2:. .:3:. .:4:. .:5:. .:6:. .:7:. .:8:. .:9:. .:10:. .:11:. .:12:. .:13:. .:14:. .:15:.
Dom opened his eyes slowly, looking around the room for a moment. He let out a soft yawn before reaching his arms up to cross under his head. The clock across the room told him it was almost 2:30 in the morning. Biting down on his lower lip he sat up and slid off of the bed. He didn’t know exactly what had woken him… but suddenly he was wide awake. From the other room, he could hear Billy snoring softly.
June 28th
Am I supposed to feel like a different person now? Am I supposed to feel like I’m someone new? That’s what I feel like… I look around, I look at myself, and I am me like I was before, but I’m not at the same time. I thought I was changed a couple weeks ago… but that was nothing.
I laughed the other day… I laughed so hard I was on the verge of tears. I was singing, laughing, talking to Billy like we used to talk. I was… well, I was happy. I smiled… I was alive. And I liked it… I’m like that now. I’m just… happier I guess. And I want things to change, I really really do… and I think they have. Looking back and reading all the old entries from a couple weeks ago… I was ruined then. I really was. I had no idea what I wanted, what I was doing… but now I know. I know what I want. I want things to go back to how they were before… I want to be who I was 2 years ago. I want to be Billy’s best friend. I want to be Dom… the cheeky one who played the cheeky hobbit.
And I think… that can finally happen. Or at least I hope it can… being here, Billy hasn’t faltered in anything… I told him to leave and still, he stayed. That says something doesn’t it? Maybe I was wrong before… maybe I just didn’t see it before. But I see now.
I want to change things… and I want to fix things. I don’t know the first fucking step in accomplishing any of that… but I think it will just come to me. Everything just comes to me it seems. It did back then… the answer called out to me... whether it was hiding in the bathroom, laying under the table, or resting in the kitchen. So, cant these answers find me as well?
I hope they can.
Dom closed the journal slowly and laid back down on the bed. He tapped his foot for a couple minutes, humming a tune from The Beatles, and surprisingly feeling content. Looking over at the clock, only 15 minutes had passed. Billy wouldn’t be up until at least 8 and since they had stayed up later the night before watching movies and adding new commentary to the Return of the King movie, they had really only been to bed for a little over an hour now.
Taking a deep breath, he suddenly remembered something he had been meaning to do. There was someone… he still needed to thank, someone he still needed to talk to. Standing up, he slowly left his room, hoping that he would be quiet enough so he wouldn’t wake Billy, and went to the phone in the Kitchen. Picking it up, he quickly calculated the time in LA.
“Hello?” A girl answered the phone, giggling madly, and sounding like she was quite pissed.
“Uh hi…?” Dom said confused for a moment and afraid he had gotten the wrong number.
“Hi.” She giggled back and then cried out in protest. “No! Lij, I answered the phone not you!” Dom heard her call out, giggling again.
“Hannah, its my fucking phone!” Dom heard a man reply. He smiled softly knowing he had gotten the right number. “Give it to me!”
“No!” She said and Dom heard something fall over. The girl –Hannah- started to laugh harder.
“Are you alright?!” Elijah exclaimed and Dom clicked his tongue, debating on whether or not to hang up and call back or not. “Idiot. Hello?”
“Uh Hello.” Dom said.
“Uh… hi.” Elijah said back. “Who…”
“Hey Elijah.” Dom said clearing his throat quickly. “S’Dom.”
Elijah was quiet for a moment and Dom found he was holding his breath. “Dom?” Elijah exclaimed softly. “Dom! How are you? Is everything okay? I was worried… I called your flat but you didn’t answer so I called Billy’s the other day and…”
“Elijah. Fucking breathe mate.” Dom said grabbing a stool and sliding up onto it. “I’m… well I’m okay.” He said honestly.
“Really? That’s good. How is… well how’s Glasgow?” Elijah said, then held the phone away as Dom started to reply. “Hannah I’m on the fucking pho- for gods sake!… I don’t need you fucking taking your clothes off in my living room. Go to your room… sleep… and don’t fucking puke on the bed. Sorry.” He said coming back onto the phone.
“Got her pissed did you?” Dom asked laughing. Elijah mumbled his response, making Dom laugh harder.
“Well, seems like you’re happier.” Elijah scoffed, unable to keep the amusement from his voice.
“Yeah… I am. You asked how Glasgow was, its pretty good. Billy and I have, well for the most part, been lazy and watching every fucking movie he owns. We saw Maggie as well… it didn’t… well it was interesting.”
“Yeah? Billy told me about you guys going over there... boyfriend an easy drunk Billy said? Is he alright though? I mean, good to Mags and all?” Elijah asked taking a sip of something. Probably a beer.
Dom’s eyes darkened a moment. “Yeah… don’t know him much. Only talked a couple minutes.” Dom spat more harshly then he meant to. He closed his eyes, hoping Elijah didn’t notice. He hadn’t.
“Oh well, I guess she’s happy though yeah?” Elijah said sinking back into his couch, listening for a moment to make sure his sister wasn’t puking, or breaking anything or herself.
“Yeah… she is.” Dom said softly. Both side were quiet for a moment, both lost in their thoughts. Dom bit his lower lip and waited for Elijah to continue.
“I,” Elijah started taking a deep breath. “I don’t really know how to ask this.”
“Yeah.” Dom said smiling sadly. “You want… to know why.” Dom said waiting a moment.
“No… well, yes and no.” Elijah said softly, hesitating a moment. “I… well… I went to clean and stuff…” He said for a moment. “And I saw you’re… it was open and I didn’t mean to read it just…”
“You read the page that Billy read, I know.” Dom said nodding to himself. “But…”
“I… Dom… I kind of read from when Rings ended.” Elijah whispered.
Dom froze and stared down at the phone. “You read, the whole fucking thing?” He said softly, but darkly. “You read every single page?!” Elijah made a soft noise, not answering. “You… fuck… Elijah why the fuck would you do that?!” Dom said trying to keep his voice down. Anger suddenly flared up in him. Those were his private thoughts. His private words, poems, songs. It was his private fucking journal! He closed his eyes and bit down on his lip.
“I’m sorry….” Elijah whispered, afraid because Dom wasn’t speaking, at just how mad Dom was at him. He wanted Dom to say something, say anything, but another part of him wanted Dom to say nothing. He didn’t want Dom to start yelling at him.
“I… understand.” Dom said taking a deep breath. “Billy did too.” He said shortly. And Billy had. For some reason though, he didn’t feel uncomfortable or as angry at the fact that Billy had. Knowing Billy had read the entry, if not more of them, just made him feel ashamed.
“I… did he?” Elijah said softly. “I’m really really sorry Dom.” Elijah whispered shaking his head.
Dom nodded and sighed rather loudly. “I know.” He said coughing and looking over at the clock. Only 10 minutes had gone by. “Anything else you want to know.” He said in a bored tone. Elijah flinched but ignored it.
“Anything you want to tell me Dom is good… I don’t care if you don’t want to talk to me about something’s… I understand that… but…” Elijah trailed off and Dom heard him taking a bigger gulp from his beer.
“But what.” He said as calmly as he could. He leaned back in the stool, resting against the fridge.
“I just want you to know…” Elijah started slowly. “That… I didn’t mean to do it Dom.”
“What are you on about?” Dom sat up again, confused.
“I didn’t mean to not call… I didn’t mean to ditch you or anyone else. I didn’t mean to just… fuck off and forget about everything while I was doing Sunshine and all the other movies that I was doing… and I didn’t forget, I really didn’t Dom. I… fuck…” Elijah took a deep breath and Dom listened hard. It sounded like he was crying. “I want everything to be okay again Dom! I want… I want you me and Billy and Orlando to sit down and just… fuck around, get pissed, and play all the stupid games we used to play. I want things to be like they were. I always wanted them like that…”
“Elijah…”
“No Dom… I really, really, really do! But now Billy is mad at me and I don’t want him to be mad at me. I pushed… I pushed too hard and I was the one that got annoying. I didn’t want to be annoying Dom!” Elijah was crying softly, but pressed on, ignoring Dom. “Orlando was getting all famous and shit and I’m happy for him… I’m so fucking happy and proud of him and for him! I just… I wanted to be in still. I wanted to be… fuck…. Just fuck. Dom, you have Billy… you had Billy and do you know how hard that was to know you were never going to be part of the Dom and Billy thing? I… I was jealous and so… I… god.” Elijah stopped, and Dom heard him sob.
“Elijah… fuck…” He said softly. They were quiet… thinking, listening. Dom never really thought about what everyone else had felt at that point in time. They were all driven apart… all split and trying to move on… They hadn’t called but hell, neither did he!
“I know I’ll never be a part of that Dom.” Elijah whispered, wiping his eyes. “I’m sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out.”
“No, don’t be sorry. You’re one of my best mates Lij… you’re supposed to talk to me.” Dom said smiling sadly.
“Yeah… great how that’s going yeah?” Elijah laughed shortly and Dom heard the phone being pressed against Elijah’s chest as he turned to talk to his sister. A loud beep made Dom jump, nearly falling off the stool. “Sorry…” Elijah giggled. “Pressed a button.”
“Wanker.” Dom replied, smiling again.
“So?” Elijah retorted, laughing loudly. Dom smiled… he didn’t want Elijah to be upset. He sighed and leaned back against the fridge once more. Things needed to start changing, more then they already were. He needed to think…
“Elijah?”
“Yeah Dom?”
“Just…” Sighing he looked down at his feet, swinging over the end of the stool. “Don’t… forget everything you read okay?”
“Dom…”
“I… was in a dark place Lij.” Dom said pressing on and closing his eyes. He needed to say this to Elijah, and he didn’t think he would be able to say it more then once. “I… those were thoughts of someone deep inside of me. They weren’t me… and I think… fuck, you know I think I knew it wasn’t true… parts of it anyways. I just… I didn’t know what to do anymore Lij. I was… fucked up really, really, fucked up. And then… that helped. Writing that, helped. But… don’t listen to it okay?”
“I… okay Dom… It’s… its forgotten.” Elijah said licking his lower lip and closing his own eyes.
“Good…” Dom said nodding his head. “I… I really do love you Lij… and thank you for going and you know, cleaning and shopping and doing all that shite for me.”
“Don’t worry about it… wanker.” Elijah said smiling.
“Still can’t fucking get it can you?”
“Ass hole.” Elijah fired at him.
“That, sounds right.” Dom laughed and bit on his lower lip. “I better get back to bed… you go and take care of Hannah… give her a hug from me… and make sure she isn’t puking.”
“Yeah yeah.” Elijah said laughing. “I’ll uh… talk to you soon yeah?”
“Yeah… I think so.” Dom said nodding his head.
“Bye Dom.”
“Bye Lij.” Dom said hanging up the phone. He sat there for a minute. The clock behind him was ticking, erasing the seconds of the morning, and moving forward, moving on. Time, wasn’t going to stop no matter how much Dom wanted it to. He could sit there, thinking, staring off, but time was still going to go on around him. It always had. It was his job, to seek it and catch up with it. It was his job… to figure out the mess inside of his head.
Getting off the stool Dom walked quietly down the hall, stopping at Billy’s bedroom door. Billy was asleep, his leg twisted around the comforter, on his stomach. He was still snoring soundly and Dom shook his head. Billy had done so much for him and Dom never, not even once, stopped to ask himself what Billy thought. What Billy was feeling, and thinking, at the time when everything fell apart. At the time when Dom believed everyone else but him had changed and abandoned him.
Not once had he said thank you. He had never bothered to ask what Billy had been thinking. He never looked at Billy to see if he was alright and if he was okay. It was all about him… it had been for months. Taking a deep breath Dom crossed the room quietly, shaking Billy’s arm gently.
“Dom?” Billy whispered groggily before shooting up and looking down to Dom. “Dom you okay?” He said louder, forcing himself awake.
“I’m fine.” Dom said sitting next to him and wrapping his arms around him tightly.
“I…” Billy started, confused. He wrapped his arms around Dom and hugged him back, smiling tiredly, now not as alert.
“I just… I want to thank you Billy. For just… being there for me. Like, really…” Dom said moving back to look into his eyes. “Thank you.”
Billy smiled and nodded, grabbing him into another hug.
“It’s fucking 3 am. Get the fuck to bed you wanker.” Dom said smiling cheekily as Billy let him go. Billy threw a pillow at his back as he ran out of the room and back to his own. ‘Bloody git.’ He heard Billy curse, trying to go back to sleep. Dom smiled as he climbed back into bed. He turned, facing the wall, trying to sleep, but finding the small smile never leaving his face.
Chapter Seventeen
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