| settling |
[Sun, Sep 16th, 2007 at 10:42
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 complacent |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Anberlin: The Symphony of Blasé |
] |
I'm used to it all now.
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| ap homework |
[Wed, Aug 9th, 2006 at 11:26
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| [ |
mood |
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 scared |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Okkervil River: For Real |
] |
soo, i just have to write an essay for government, read 1984 and write an essay comparing it to poem i don't understand, and write a third paper about language or something fun like that. oh, and i have to read all the front pages of the newspaper i've been saving since the middle of july. otherrr than that i guess you could say i'm close to being done!...but i'll be gone friday, saturday, and working til 5 on sunday so really i just have tomorrow, monday, and tuesday. i can feel the sick feeling of an all-nighter creeping up on me...
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| parents |
[Tue, Aug 8th, 2006 at 9:33
] |
| [ |
mood |
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 crushed |
] |
i never thought it was possible for parents to not like their children, but i believe it now. they hate me. and i know this may sound so petty compared to the real issues of the world, so if you plan on telling me that, stop reading this.
the only reason they really discipline me is because i'm still living here under their roof, and they can't stand my "bad habits" so they force me to fix them because it makes living with me easier. i can't even describe how unloved i feel by them, and trust me, i hope it's a feeling none of you ever have to feel. i feel like i'm someone who shares dna with these two people who never want me around and hope to god that by next august 5th i'll have enough money saved to leave for good.
i kind of wish i could leave right now and make the wish come true.
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| I'm a bad kid |
[Mon, Aug 7th, 2006 at 8:35
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| [ |
mood |
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 pissed off |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
none |
] |
So I went to the mall today and decided to get my cartilage pierced (because it's something I've really wanted to do for a while now). And I went through with it (and told them a white lie...that I'm 18, not 17) and paid $25 to do so. I get home and show my dad, who says it's my body and my choice, although I can tell he's a little bit skeptical. Then my mom sees it and FLIPS. Apparently I should have asked my parents because I'm 17, and it was wrong to dupe the people at Images into piercing my ear because I'm a minor not an adult. And if my parents let me keep the piercing, that means they're showing me that I can break the law and lie and they can't do anything about it and there will be no consequences. And I totally understand that.
BUT, the way I see it, that whole thing in November where I lied and got drunk and essentially broke the law taught me that they won't let me get away with everything. I came home with a pierced ear and it's like I came home pregnant. It's my ear, for God's sake, and my $25 more importantly. So what if I lied to put a hole in my ear? I didn't come home with a tattoo or nose ring. What I got wasn't "distasteful".
My parents tell me all the time that they're the parents and they have the power to make these kinds of decisions for me. And that I should be grateful because I could have worse parents. But I don't think they ever really stop to think that they could have a worse child. Sure, I've lied and gone out drinking, but I'm not smoking, I've never had sex, I don't fail in school, I never bother to ask to go out more than twice a week (in the summer at least. During school I ask maybe once a week). I'm a good kid. They know I have friends who are stoners and whatnot. And they know I choose not to get involved in the same stuff. So I don't understand why it's so (and I quote them) "defiant" to get my ear pierced without their permission. My mom even told me she was disappointed in me.
Why don't they just trade me for a new kid?
And I forgot to mention that I'm supposed to take the earring out and let the hole heal over.
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| liiife |
[Thu, Aug 3rd, 2006 at 12:21
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Taking Back Sunday: MakeDamnSure |
] |
poop on having to work on my birthday!
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| update |
[Thu, Jul 27th, 2006 at 8:13
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Justin Timberlake: Sexy Back |
] |
people are weird.
this weather is weird too. kinda lame since i went three days without a car so my A/C could be ENTIRELY REBUILT, and now it's too windy for me to even need to use it. thanks mother nature!
senior portraits tomorrow. yee. i hope they turn out ok. i'm mostly nervous about my hair and makeup.
i cant wait for my next paycheck so i can pay back my parents for my italy trip and actually start putting money in my bank account.
Hardball isnt such a bad book. i'll go so far as to admit that at some parts i laugh out loud.
i cant wait to go back to school clothes shopping!!! words cant express my excitement. theres a necklace and a skirt at the mall that i would kill to have.
and...
happy birthday emily!!!!
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| i <3 this song |
[Sat, Jul 22nd, 2006 at 11:37
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Paris Hilton: Stars Are Blind |
] |
myspace is down, my phone's not recieving any of my new ringtones yet, and it must still be at least 80 degrees outside. plus i have to shower still and find the coldest (and least creepiest) part of the downstairs to sleep in. comfortably. fuckkk technology and global warming.
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| next summer and my mind ramblings |
[Mon, Jul 17th, 2006 at 8:23
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 confused |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Incubus: WIsh You Were Here |
] |
So i've been thinking a lot about my plans for next summer (and the school year hasnt even started yet, lol), and reading michelle's 10,000 posts about going to germany (and austria and france) really makes me want to go on the tour next year. but there's a tons of pluses to going and a ton of cons. it'd be fun, my ancestors came from germany, and i had a blast in italy on the tour...but i wonder if it's because i was with certain people. but then again, we were always saying how much better it would be if certain people hadnt gone. But then its an opportunity of a lifetime to do one last major trip before college....even though it's going to cost a lot of money. and then i worry that a lot of the fun i had in italy is because of the colorado guys, and then i'd go to germany and be bummed because there's no interesting "other group". plussss, if too many people went, we'd be our own group again. i really want to be able to be apart of such an awesome experience, but i also don't want to drain my bank account or feel like the trip doesnt live up to italy simply because of (the lack of) hot guys. ha, i sound really pathetic, but this is my thought process....
is anyone else thinking of taking this trip?
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|
|
[Wed, Jul 12th, 2006 at 2:29
] |
|
happy birthday Erica!
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| life |
[Mon, Jul 10th, 2006 at 10:58
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cranky |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Christina Augilera: Somebody's Somebody |
] |
Not much to say. This summer has been pretty boring since we've gotten back from Italy. (Or I just got used to waking up at 6:30 and doing stuff til 1 or 2 the next morning.) I'm working every day this week, yeee. But I got a raise at one job so that makes it worth it. That iPod isn't gonna buy itself. I really need to start on my 5 bajillion summer assignments, though. Being that we only have 5 weeks of summer left and all. I hope this summer gets more fun. It's our last summer as "kids". So if you guys are hanging out or have plans, call me. I need something to do other than sleeping, eating, or looking at myspace.
lateski
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| life after highschool |
[Sun, Jul 2nd, 2006 at 11:39
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 curious |
] |
every time i leave california, i come back loving it 10 times more. but after coming back from Italy, i've realized that i want to leave this state for college. there are 49 other states, and i figure that if i stay here for college, i'll inevitably find a job in california which means i'll be here forever. i want to experience life beyond what i'm used to. i'm thinking it's either arizona or colorado (and not for the reason some of you would think i chose it for!)
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| 3.5 more days |
[Fri, Jun 9th, 2006 at 5:26
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Black Eyed Peas [feat. Jack Johnson]: Gone, Going |
] |
I don't know how to feel. Happy that summer is here? Sad that we're going to be seniors, no longer simply "upperclassmen", but the class that leaves for good after 9 months? Happy that 13 years of drama and akwardness are almost mere memories? Happy that we're almost FREE? Sad that we have to act like adults? Sad that we have to spend next year making sure that we have fun and make the most of our last year together? Sad that this will be our last year together?
I've never ever been open to change. Heck, I hated the first month of this school year because it was such a strange feeling. But next year...well, 9 weeks from now, things are going to be so much different. And I'll complain about traffic and annoying new JR's in our core, and Ms. Grant being a bitch and having to study for AP tests at the last minute, but then I feel grateful that these are my only worries. And deep down I know that I won't mind sitting in my car in the parking lot for 15 minutes, and I'll like feeling superior to the fresh meat and I'll put up with Ms. Grant because her stupidity makes for good jokes, and after AP tests we watch a ton of movies and relax more than the Digital core (no offense Troy and Katie).
I want next year to be better. I want to make more friends, actually try in school. I don't want to mess up and get grounded or waste my time seeing the bad in things.
I love each and every one of you.
Thanks for being so awesome.
This is going to be the best summer yet.
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|
| countdown time |
[Mon, Jun 5th, 2006 at 8:39
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 excited |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Jack Johnson: Better Together |
] |
8 days.
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| poop on today |
[Fri, May 26th, 2006 at 7:43
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sad |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Syd Matters: To All of You |
] |
today has been horrible!
work was lame, ms. zimmer has turned into queen of the bitches, i got in a fender bender that cant be fixed because my car is too old, i feel like i have the most boring/self-centered personality, and i got yelled at by my dad because i rinsed off the pizza cutter before he was done using it...and the pizza is pre-cut!!
i wonder what i did wrong to deserve all this bad luck.
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|
| spring wind |
[Thu, May 25th, 2006 at 10:38
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 happy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Kanye West: Get 'Em High |
] |
the spring wind is finally here!
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| Catcher in the Rye |
[Wed, May 24th, 2006 at 10:20
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Zapp & Rodger: I Wanna be Your Man |
] |
I liked the Catcher in the Rye. I think it's one of maybe three books I've read for school that I actually liked.
19 days til Italy!!!!!
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|
| if you like me, you'd.... |
[Fri, May 12th, 2006 at 8:39
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crazy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Madonna: Crazy for You |
] |
vote Beer for publicity!
because i will die if i have to spend a year of ASB with corrine.
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|
|
[Fri, May 5th, 2006 at 9:07
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crushed |
] |
Well, AP tests are finally done....til next year at least. I'm pretty sure I failed the History one though, and I wish I didn't have to go back to school after because I just wanted to go home and cry about it. I knew I could have tried harder, studied more, paid more attention in class, and I completely blew it. And it makes me feel worse that Mr. Leslie is gonna see my [pressumably] low score and be disappointed in me. I know I shouldn't care that much about it, but I feel like I didn't live up to my potential. I think I did ok on the English test though.
SAT's tomorrow, which I'm really not looking forward to. I know I'll blow the math parts.
I finally talked myself into going to Prom...but then I realized that I have work from 2-10:30, so that should be a funnnnn night. I guess that's ok though because I don't have enough money to buy a dress anyways.
AP core rocks. I can't imagine myself in a different core. We were talking to Coursey after testing today, and he made the point that we see him and Leslie more than half the time we see our own parents. Which made me really sad because I don't know what it's like to see the same people every other day for two years, and then boom, you'll probably never see them ever again. They're like my second parents.
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| life sucks |
[Wed, May 3rd, 2006 at 6:46
] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Reba McEntire: You're Gonna Be |
] |
It's such a horrible feeling to want so badly for things to happen one way, only for them to turn out the exact opposite. I wanted track to be fun, I wanted to try harder and be faster, I wanted certain people to like me, I wanted to go to Prom with another certain person, and I wanted to have the confidence to kick the asses of the AP History and English tests. Buuuut, track was lame, I'm still slow, I'm practically invisible, I'm spending Prom eating ice cream and watching movies, and the AP tests are gonna kick my ass.
I didnt mean to complain so much, but it feels nice, so if you're gonna tell me it could be worse, then don't read this.
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