Move, Bitch! Here Comes José!

Los Álbumes que José Le Ha Gustado Más Durante Las Cuatro Semanas Pasadas: 09/2008

Sun, 05 Oct 2008 03:23:00 GMT

I was gonna post this last night but I was too busy rocking out to MGMT's Kids. Right here is the first installation of what I intend to make a monthly feature of this blog, and I'm calling it:

Los Álbumes que José Le Ha Gustado Más Durante Las Cuatro Semanas Pasadas

A fancy nickname would compromise the completeness and specificity of the current title. So I'm gonna stick with the full name.

Now I'm no good at describing music and if I tried, I wouldn't be doing justice to the following bands. Check 'em out for yourself and enjoy them.

Azeda Booth
In Flesh Tones

Big Fists

Azeda Booth achieve with their style one of the best and most exciting grafts yet of pop with electronica.
-cokemachineglow

Dr. Dog
Fate

The Ark

Strict modernists may chafe at the band's unapologetically backward-glancing aesthetic, but the rest should happily succumb to the shaggy charm of Fate's easy-like-Sunday-morning ramblings.
-Entertainment Weekly

Human Highway
Moody Motorcycle

The Sound

Moody Motorcycle is a deft reappropriation and re-imagining of the harmonic pop of the Everly Brothers, Simon and Garfunkel, and Crosby, Stills, and Nash.
-Prefix Magazine

Lykke Li
Youth Novels

I'm Good, I'm Gone

A Nordic slice of pop heaven that ranges from electro-Calypso bizarrity to hand clap-driven electro anthems about "Breaking It Up."
-Filter

Ra Ra Riot
The Rhumb Line

Dying Is Fine

With lyrics appropriated from an e.e. cummings poem of the same name ["Dying is Fine"] contrasting with bouncy guitar riffs, the creation feels fresh; the past, unforgetable.
-Filter

TV on the Radio
Dear Science,

Golden Age

Dear Science, the third album from the Brooklyn-based art rock band TV on the Radio, is a vivid, angry, sensual soundtrack to the haunted life.
-Los Angeles Times

Clamoring for a Comeback

Wed, 01 Oct 2008 16:14:57 GMT

As I've said earlier, I'm eagerly awaiting the 2010 Philippine Presidential Elections. So far, not much has been happening since Manny Villar's budget brouhaha and it's getting kinda boring. Only two years left and nothing's happening! It's killing me. Thank God for Erap Estrada.

The former president, and by far the greatest Filipino action hero to have ever lived, dropped a little teaser for his rabid fans out there when he hinted at the possibility of him making another go at the job he does best in 2010.

"I would like to unite the opposition to ensure the victory of the opposition. But the concern is, if they don't do as I envision, who am I to refuse the people if they clamor?" Estrada said in an interview on GMA 7 television late Sunday evening.

Oh, we shall clamor for you, great visionary! Bring out the pots, pans and bullhorns-on-wheels because tonight, we shall clamor for our King! Ah, such is the beauty of Philippine democracy. If we want something done, fuck due process. Make enough noise and you shall get your way (provided that you can out-clamor the opposition). It seems that Erap knows this and isn't afraid to use it to get back to the top.

Allow me to borrow and mangle a little quote from Fight Club: "We are the all-singing, all-dancing, all-clamoring crap of the world." How very true that is of the Motherland. Does your president suck? Clamor! Do you want cheaper education? Clamor away! Do you have a primal need to watch a perverted variety show host who has no actual talent? Clamor with no regard for human life! Do you need $700 billion to save your economy? Clam... Whoops! Guess that only works in the Philippines.

With this in mind, I have formulated a plan that could make Erap's road to the presidency a bit simpler. I say we stop pretending to act like a civilized people and get down to what we really want to see out of these elections: Sex! Blood! Gossip! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking entertainment. Let's scrap the whole voting thing. I mean who wants to waste time thinking through the merits and qualifications of the candidates? Braincells are sooo overrated. And no more of these party platforms and shit. The only platforms we wanna see are those that the candidates are dancing on. Yeah!

So here's how it works. On election day -- we'll call it Midgets in Drag Day cause that's what gets us Filipinos all excited -- the candidates put on a concert where they have to sing, dance, act, strut down a runway, endorse a cellphone service provider and rattle off a list of empty promises, all in rapid succession. And we, the people of universal suffrage, we just clamor for our guy. We cheer for our pick and boo at the opposition. When that gets old, all hell breaks loose -- as if it hasn't already -- in a Battle Royale-esque free-for-all. If we do it this way, even if an incompetent movie star gets elected (and I guarantee that he will) at least we get a kick out of our own suffering.

See, when you have a guy, impeached for corruption, convicted of plunder, and confident that he "still [has] the support of the people", you know there's no point in due process. We'll end up with our beloved Box Office King no matter what, so why should we waste our time with these pretenders? Can they take on 100 bad guys, armed only with their bare fists and sing a heroic ballad atop the mass of dead bodies afterward? I think not.

But Erap can. Better take those salsa lessons seriously, Manny. Keep up the karaoke practice, Ping-ping. You're gonna need 'em if you wanna take on the man in 2010.

--
Estrada hints at 2010 candidacy - INQUIRER.net

The Grab the Nearest Book and Rattle Off Seven Lines Meme

Tue, 30 Sep 2008 13:26:45 GMT

Alas, I have been tagged by the Losman. What can I do but oblige?

--

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five friends to do the same!

     agreement; avenirse a algo/a hacer algo to
     agree on sthg/ to do sthg.
aventajado, da adj [adelanto] outstanding.
aventajar vt [rebasar] to overtake; [estar por
     delante de] to be ahead of; aventajar a alguien
     en algo to surpass sb in sthg.
aventar [19] vt - 1. [abanicar] to fan - 2. [trigo]

What was I supposed to do? It was a Spanish dictionary. So sue me. Unfortunately, I'm not one to impose myself on others and I'm all for freedom so go ahead and do the meme if you want. I tag you

World's Next Top Superpower

Mon, 29 Sep 2008 13:58:37 GMT

Amidst the $700,000,000,000 (that's billion) conundrum that the flailing Gringos are struggling to answer, it's becoming more evident that eventually -- and I'm not saying soon, just eventually -- we're gonna have to reconsider just how "super" the American "superpower" is. When that happens, rest assured that the role of the arrogant, meddling, pop culture-defining Center of the Universe shall not be left untaken -- just don't expect them to be so white. Lucky for us Asians, the World's Next Top Superpower could be living right next door! Oh, who could it be, you ask? Let's get to it!

First up, we have the People's Republic of Ch-ch-ch-chiiiiiina! Less than two months removed from the gold medal haul that made El Dorado look like heaps of 5-cent coins in comparison, the Chinese are back in the news -- in other Olympic news, Michael Phelps has offered to pay a gold medal to prevent foreclosure on the underwater cave he shares with Aquaman. Back to China. Two days ago, a certain Zhai Zhigang became the first Chinese guy to float about in space. Other than all that history-making nonsense, the real big deal about the mission was that the suit Mr. Zhai wore was 100% Made in China. You heard that, haters? Now everything is made in China. One day, you're wife's gonna give birth to a kid that does kung-fu and quotes from the Little Red Book. Made in China, bitch! It's a good thing too, cause we all know that we can trust Chinese products.

And the showboating doesn't stop there. While the US focuses on not completely imploding, the Asian superpower-to-be has set its eyes on setting up its own space station, followed by an attempt to send its own man to the moon. This can only mean that it won't be long before imitation stardust is available in your local back alleys. Fake happiness for everyone! And who do we have to thank for it? The All-Powerful Chairman, of course. Down with the capitalists!

For all ye Communist-fearing folk, worry not, there's still another player willing to take on the void left behind by the Land of the Free. Ladies and gentlemen, coming from other side of the Himalayas... India! *bust out the bhangra* Not quite as huge as their Chinese neighbors, but right up there with them in the race to conquer the world through sheer population, India is also making waves in the news these days. After 34 years of being shunned by the international big boys, India is one giant step closer to becoming a legit nuclear power. The US House of Representatives just gave them superpower hopefuls the go signal to trade nuclear technology with America. And there's no catch. Without the need to sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), technically, India could freely commercially trade nuclear tech to any evil villain who wants to kill us all. Of course, India's track record shows that they'll play nice and given that they don't try to blow up half the world, they're well on their way to becoming one of the Nuclear Cool Kids (read: superpowers).

<sidenote> Is it just me or are these nuclear pacts completely fucked up? So a few guys decide to make nuclear weapons and tell everyone else that if they wanna get in on the fun, they can't. Cause the Cool Kids got first dibs on it. Why is it that if Iraq or North Korea builds a bomb, it's a Weapon of Mass Destruction but if one of the "good guys" does it, it's a "deterrent". How bout we all just nuke our nukes and get over it? Or is it just Miss Universe who still wants world peace? </sidenote>

Yes, it's odd talking about the downfall of the US of A but let's face it. Caesar was pretty sure his empire was gonna last forever. Wonder how that turned out for him. So while we all watch America get wiped off the map -- ~~God~~ Obama help us all -- it's a good idea to get to know who could be controlling the world in the not so distant future.

Ateneo Kicks La Salle's Collective Ass

Fri, 26 Sep 2008 17:19:08 GMT

I've been to three different schools in the past four years but to this day, at least when it comes to basketball, my loyalties lie with my beloved alma mater, Ateneo de Manila. The fact that neither St. Joseph's Institution nor Anglo-Chinese School (Independent) have any basketball team worth mentioning is inconsequential. Fact is, I love Ateneo and by default, I hate La Salle.

To those unfamiliar with Philippine universities -- yes, that's plural, my grossly uninformed foreign friends -- the Ateneo-La Salle rivalry is a lot like the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. The only difference being that one is a near century-old war involving armed encounters and suicide bombings while the other is the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

The purpose of this introduction, really, is to emphasize the seriousness of the events of last Thursday, when Ateneo absolutely destroyed La Salle in the finals of the UAAP Men's Basketball Tournament to take the championship back where it belongs. Kanye said it best: "It's a celebration, bitches! Grab a drink, grab a glass. And in the end I'll grab yo ass!" While there truly is cause to go crazy, chances are, I'll only be able to accomplish two out of his three celebratory rituals.

Prior to this 71^st season, I hadn't been following the college game and with good reason. The last time we won it all was back in 2002 and that year, being the first year I watched basketball, it set the bar pretty high for my expectations out of my school team. So you can imagine how shitty it felt to have La Salle prance its way to a few championships at our expense over the next few years. (Being the honorable guy that I am, I won't even mention that they cheated. Nay, I'm above that. So I'm just gonna link to a completely unrelated article right here. I'm an asssss-hoooooole.)

I wasn't able to watch any of the games this year so I can't really comment on what went down but from what I've read, La Salle is whining again about the officiating in their loss on Thursday -- if you think the McCain campaign whines too much about Obama, you have not met the La Salle team. They're pissed cause their main guy fouled out and because a certain Rico Maierhofer was ejected from the game after he allegedly flashed the referee with his "dirty finger". Well I don't know how they roll in that school but if a guy showed me his unwashed penis, I wouldn't want him anywhere near me either.

Maierhofer was called for a technical foul for "taunting" and then got called for another one when he supposedly gestured to the referee to go fuck himself. Of course the flasher denies doing any such thing and since I didn't see what happened, I'm in no position to make a judgment. But if I was the referee, whether or not I saw his middle finger/penis, I'd kick him out anyway based solely on my memory of him from a slam dunk competition a few years back. He did a lay-up in a slam dunk competition. I might be exaggerating here, but isn't the only rule of a dunk contest: to dunk the ball? I guess he was trying to think out of the box and get points for creativity. What if I DON'T dunk the ball? Yea! They'll love that! (Incidentally, an Atenean won that dunk contest cause, you know, he can actually dunk.) Unfortunately, I don't have video of the farce but this one isn't too far off.

Maierhofer Dunks Worse Than This

I guess all that's left to do is thank the team for giving all us Ateneo faithful our long-awaited bragging rights. And to La Salle, thanks for playing fair. ONE BIG FIGHT!

--
Ateneo bags UAAP crown - INQUIRER.net

Wed, 24 Sep 2008 14:52:25 GMT

To my classmate of seven years, from the days of MAGIS and A2k6, my Don Antonio Heights neighbor, my Mang Avery bus mate and fellow freeloader off of Tan's car after parties, my perennial competitor in grade school class presidential elections, and yes, my friend of the incomprehensible l337 speak,

I hope you've found peace, amigo. You're in a good place now.

P.S. Though you know I'm sorry that I was never able to attend any of your birthdays, I still blame you for being born on the same day as my brother. :P

Getting Too Friendly with the Neighbors

Mon, 22 Sep 2008 16:02:56 GMT

I Am Chuck Bass

Imagine you live in a neighborhood. Let's call it, I dunno, Asia. So you have this nice little oriental-themed house and you grow kimchi in your backyard. Then there's this guy who lives next door and he's kinda weird. He never goes out, doesn't talk to anyone and always orders McDonald's for dinner. You and this guy, you aren't exactly friends. And when I say you aren't friends, I mean fifty-eight years ago, he tried to run you out of your house, and that ended in a bloody fight -- like literally bloody with hemoglobin shooting out of your arteries, not bloody like British for "fucking". So this neighbor of yours, you don't like him and every time you see his ugly hair and freaky glasses on the other side of the fortified fence and demilitarized zone that separate your houses, you think to yourself: Holy shit this guy looks like a total dickwad and he totally wants to kill me and I totally say totally too much.

Now one fateful day, you find out that guy has a nuclear reactor in his basement -- it's a big basement. Naturally, everyone starts freaking out, especially the white guys who live in the (now worthless) posh mansions on the other end of the neighborhood. But your not-so-friendly neighbor says that it's just there to power his TiVo. He'd hate to miss a single episode of Gossip Girl, see. Still, the whiteys won't quit with the hissy fits and there are rumors going around that he's thinking of making a bomb and going all Hiroshima on your shit. That scares you, of course, but you also remember that it's the white guys talking. And everyone knows those guys have fucking nuclear silos in their front lawn. To keep everyone happy, they send the Neighborhood Watch to check on him and make sure that he's just getting his weekly fix of the dapper Ed Westwick.

You think it's going fine until one day, nuclear boy-next-door tells the whiteys to fuck off. Apparently, even though he's been letting them watch Gossip Girl on his flat screen, they still refuse to take him off the neighborhood's Resident Psycho List. So now what, you ask? You're still stuck with the crazy guy who could nuke your bulgogi and he's probably pissed off about the accusations and people are saying that he's been sick recently even though he insists he isn't so that gives him even more reason to hate the world. Given your history, I'm guessing the last thing you'd want to do would be to get anywhere near the guy. You also probably wouldn't be thinking of extending the garden so that you're kids could play hide-and-seek closer to him, right?

Well if South Korea were in your position, they'd do just that.

"The defence ministry in Seoul said the 15-kilometre-wide (nine-mile) restricted area, which is south of the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ) along the border, has been reduced to 10 kilometres... Despite its official name, the four-kilometre-wide DMZ is heavily fortified with minefields, barbed wire and tank traps."

Yeah, I know there must be benefits to being a bit nearer the "DMZ" that I'm not considering here. Like imagine how cool it would be to live so close to a minefield! You could play fun games like Minesweeper with real live mines! Oh well, if Kim Jong-Il was showing Mad Men instead of Gossip Girl, I guess you could count me in too.

--
Channelnewsasia.com - South Korea opens more border land for development despite tensions

Future Elections and Double Penetration

Sat, 20 Sep 2008 16:53:36 GMT

Sen. Manny Villar trying to look like a President or a Farmer

All the hype about Obama vs. McCain has really gotten me into politics these days. Being of legal age, I get some special rights and I'm not afraid to use them, especially when it involves fermented potatoes. In this light, I'm eagerly looking forward to exercising my right to vote in the coming 2010 Philippine Presidential Elections. It was a real treat to find out that someone had already expressed his intent to run for the nation's highest office. Introducing, Sen. Manny Villar! Whoop-whoop!

Now honestly, I don't know much about Sen. Villar but I can tell you that his surname was the letter "V" in his party's slogan/acronym VOT 4 D CHAMP when he ran for senate a few years back -- I'm gonna assume it was targeted at the hip, young, text messaging demographic. So I did some research and apparently, guy's been in the news lately. You know, probably passing bills to help the country and solidifying his bid for the presidency. Let's see what he's been up to:

"Last week, [Sen. Panfilo "Ping" Lacson] bared a double entry in the 2008 budget for a road between South Luzon Expressway and Sucat in Parañaque City. On his privilege speech, he directly implicated Senate President Manny Villar in what he termed as the 'road to nowhere' mess."

Eh? That doesn't sound right. It seems this Sen. Panfilo "Ping" Lacson (the man whose nickname strikes fear into the hearts of corrupt politicians everywhere) is implying that Villar made two separate P200 million insertions into the national budget for the same road extension project. Being the smart guy that he is, he filed them under two different names (to cover his tracks, perhaps?) Sneaky, sneaky. And just some FYI for my foreign friends out there, "national budget" is Filipino for "politician's pocket". So instead of making a good impression, it looks like Villar is kicking off his campaign by stealing a few hundred million bucks. Funny, I thought only presidents took that much money... Damn it! Get that man in office! Guy is ready!

But before we all jump to conclusions, we gotta consider who this Lacson guy is (hereafter referred to simply as "Ping-ping" cause real men have two Pings and a Pong). His name sounds familiar... OH! I remember! In 2004, his surname was the letter "L" in his party's slogan/acronym: LOSRS 4 PREZ. Wonder why he'd try to discredit this Villar guy right after he announced his 2010 bid. Could he still possibly be bitter over his 2004 loss? Could he be jockeying for position for 2010? Oh, probably not. They wouldn't do such things, those honest men and women of the senate. I'm sure it's just me and my cynicism.

In his defense, Villar claims that the double insertion was perfectly legit. He says the two entries were for two separate parts of the same project. Two different flyovers need two different entries. That makes sense. A prominent real estate tycoon, Villar also didn't necessarily add, "And both those roads lead to my houses, mothafuckas! You all gonna live in my fucking houses! Moneeeey!"

Now I really don't know which of them to believe but I do agree with a certain Sen. Richard Gordon who has filed a resolution to require more "transparency and accuracy" in national budget entries. These guys should take their cue from el presidente herself, Gloria Arroyo, who makes it a point to be very specific in these matters. Take, for example, one of her recent insertions into the budget:

Tourism Development Project (a.k.a. "Honeymoon in Bahamas, Baby!") by President Gloria Arroyo: P200 million
Maritime Research Council (a.k.a. "Mikey's New Yacht") by President Gloria Arroyo: P100 million
IT Infrastructure Upgrade (a.k.a. "Hubby Wants An iPod 3G Too") by President Gloria Arroyo: P35,000

See that? So precise. So transparent. I especially like how she makes it a point to sneak in a reference to her lovey-dovey hubby First Gentleman Mike Arroyo. Aww! They're such a cute couple, using our money for the good of the country and making sweet little code names like that! Ping-ping and Manny, if you guys wanna run the country, I suggest you be taking notes. Especially this last one.

Do you wanna know how real presidents deal with real problems? Ask former president Erap Estrada. In response to those pesky American soldiers hanging around in the Philippines for far too long, guy is offering to make a movie to inspire the nation and scare away them white guys. He shall drive away the foreign devils with the might of his Elvis hairdo and B-rated special effects! Now that's how it's done.

After reading all that stuff on what's going on back home right now, I can only imagine how exciting the coming presidential race is gonna be. The Philippines, ladies and gentlemen. Obama and McCain got nothing on us! 2010!

--
GMANews.TV - Lacson exposes ‘hidden insertions’ in '08 budget

WALL-E

Wed, 17 Sep 2008 13:53:18 GMT

Let's face it: everyone loves WALL-E. Your kids, your parents, your grandparents, your classmates, your co-workers, and even your antisocial, borderline homicidal next-door neighbor. They all want a piece of the little trash-cleaning robot cause he's just so cute and the movie is just so nice. And you know what? They're right. I can't argue the fact that everything about WALL-E is just so bloody touching and legitimately entertaining. It amazes me that the love story of an automated garbage dispenser and a flying iPod, both of which practically can't speak, is more believable and engaging than a lot of the trash that human "actors" usually dump on us. Oh, wait. WALL-E, someone left this What Happens in Vegas DVD lying on the floor. Could you chuck it in the bin with all those J-Lo rom-coms? Yeah, thanks buddy.

As I was saying, I liked it not just cause of the general cuteness that ensued when the robots appeared on-screen, but I was also very much intrigued by the non-mechanical characters. All those fat people floating around in their hover chairs seemed to represent the sorry state of a human race that has succumbed to the worst excesses of consumerism and sloth. With no need for physical exertion, their bones deteriorate and this (d)evolutionary transformation is exacerbated by their unlimited access to food and drink, resulting in a society of ass-people (that being humans who are born as butt cheeks. Their other body parts grow out as they get older). Sitting in front of a computer/TV screen the whole day, they are constantly bombarded with trends they have to follow and distorted ideas of reality as engendered by mass media. There is no such thing as direct human interaction and literacy is replaced by the simple recognition of lights and sounds from the boob tube. Think of it as Disnified dystopia. But come to think of it, minus being fat, I'm pretty sure this was the kind of life I aspired for in my puberty. Whoops.

Though the social commentary was refreshing, I couldn't help but think to myself that Disney was missing something. When we talk about "worst excesses", sex should definitely be way up there in the list. In a world where the media is firmly in control, someone is bound to be selling the glorified image of sexual gratification somewhere. Think about it. Guys have a computer screen in front of their face 24/7. What are the chances they'd be spending half of that time looking at porn? Oh yea, you know it, you filthy bastard with the naked High School Musical kids on your iPod. So here's my problem with WALL-E: all these horny fat people are flying around all day, right? How do they have sex? And don't tell me they don't. I saw the babies, man! There were little fat people in the movie and somebody had to do the dirty dance to make 'em. OK, so maybe they do it in vitro style in the future. But look at them. These guys are so fat that they'd truly need the Miracle of Life to procreate. They're so fat that even if the LHC successfully created a black hole, they'd save the human race by clogging it up. And you expect me to believe they can repeatedly (and with proper coordination) slot the twit into the twat? So they end up with a whole society of perpetually concupiscent blubber butts who literally can't get any. It's a physical impossibility. How are they all not offing themselves yet?! Just cause they're formless blobs doesn't mean they're asexual too. Even Jabba the Hutt had his hoes! It's just not right.

Scoff all you want now, Disney but come Oscar season, when Space Chimps takes home the golden statue, you're gonna be wishing you took this plot hole seriously. You have been warned.

P.S. Even in the midst of a major credit crisis, all guys can think about is sex (or something like it). Hey, it isn't a Wall Street meltdown until the gay lovin' starts.

How They Should Have Dealt with the Great Depression

The Scan Toaster

Mon, 15 Sep 2008 14:01:23 GMT

Are you tired of waking up to that same old, dull toaster? Do you ever wish you didn't have to switch back-and-forth between reading the morning paper and taking a bite out of your toast? Boy do we have just the thing for you! Introducing The Scan Toaster! It downloads the news from your computer and burns it right onto your toast! Now you can read the news AND eat your breakfast at the same time! Perfect for those times when you realize that were born a lazy fat-ass.

Really though, if they ever start mass producing these babies, I foresee some problems with the idea of news on a sandwich. Here's a list of headlines that might not go very well with your breakfast:

Scientists Verify Link Between Eating Bread & Herpes
Michael Jackson's Face Melts Off: "Tastes Like Butter"
NBA Player Sam Cassell and Predalien Have First Baby. Exclusive Pictures!
Trace Amounts of Stray Vice-Presidential Butt Hair Found in Local Supermarket Jam
John McCain Comes Under Fire for Untrue Attack Ads (I didn't even have to make up that one)

And in case you were thinking of using it to channel your inner da Vinci, I'm sorry to report that those Japanese guys beat you to it already. Karate chop!

--
Net-talking toaster to burn news onto bread | Register Hardware

Kanye West - Glow in the Dark Tour

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 19:12:17 GMT

The Louis-Vuitton Don responsible for my present infatuation with the likes of Lupe, The Cool Kids, Lil' Wayne and Kidz in the Hall, is coming to town for his Glow in the Dark Tour. Sounds like a great theme that would surely require an out of this world rendition of them Flashing. Lights. Really exciting stuff there but honestly, I fear for Singapore. With all his talk of intense commitment to his craft, I wouldn't put it past Yeezy to suck all the energy out of this little country and transform the Indoor Stadium into a giant fireball of crazy lights, blinding everyone in a 5-kilometer radius. Which in the case of Singapore, would be the entire population. In fact, the show was originally scheduled for this Friday but has since been postponed to October 29. I'm guessing it's to give the government more time to issue shutter shades to every Singaporean family -- and somewhere in a little town across the causeway, the Prime Minister of Malaysia bobs his head triumphantly to Can't Tell Me Nothing. Excuse me, is you saying something?

BTW, anyone saw his performance of new single Love Lockdown at the VMA's? What could've possibly led him to believe that he was in his own bathroom? Maybe the mic reminded him of his loofah and the stage was made of tiles. But Mr. West, if you Heard 'Em Say that you're allowed to sing outside the confines of your shower, that would be the voices in your head talking. And they're wrong.

Now someone get me those GITD shutter shades!

P.S. Just when I was gonna post this, the blogging Gods decided to drop this news:

Kanye, sans shutter shades, is allergic to the Flashing Lights. Unfortunately for one cameraman, he learned this the hard way.

"The shutterbugged West, 31, faced off with several cameramen in the American Airlines terminal at 7:51 a.m. while en route to boarding a flight to Honolulu. He allegedly smashed an offending video camera, valued at $10,000, and wound up getting arrested on suspicion of felony vandalism"

Take it easy, Yeezy! You gotta understand that these guys are just trying to make an honest living, like you. You're a rapper who refuses to rap on his new single and they're photographers who ambush anyone remotely famous. It all evens out.

--
Kanye Busted for Airport Bust-Up - Yahoo! News

Move, Bitch! Here Comes José!

Fri, 12 Sep 2008 17:40:20 GMT

i nuked my blog. why? cause i got tired of it. if you want a slightly more detailed explanation

i remember, once or twice in the summers of my childhood, my mom would make us kids go through a kind of spring cleaning of our rooms. it seemed like such a chore to open up my drawers, cabinets and cupboards and re-assess the value of the ninja turtles and batmen of my tub -- perhaps i'm re-imagining the past, but i distinctly remember having enough toys to fill a blue, crosshatched plastic tub. it was so much more than toys though. there was all the junk kids accumulate for reasons i have now long forgotten: over-stretched rubber bands, rusty screws from the skinny metal bar that anchored the lights in the garden, pieces of paper folded into airplanes, boats, squares and even laptops, with the odd pablo "picasso" lazatin artwork in the heap. for that one afternoon, i'd have to go through all my perceived treasures and weed out those that had lost the magic i'd cast upon them in my games of pretend. in those sessions of appraisal, one thing i took pride in was that unlike my sisters, i easily discarded whatever i deemed would no longer make me happy. with no regard for sentimental value, i threw out all the little trinkets that were once special to make way for the action figures with new super red plastic fireball projectile launching powers. i was always a smart, materialistic bastard.

my blog lost its magic a long time ago, and yet i held on to this hope that the hollywood blockbuster that is my life would burst into a new, sex, guns and weed story arch that would revive the wasteland of my blog and make the masses bow before me, the king of the universe. but of course, it didn't. so like all other toys that lose their luster, bloggy went bye bye.

also, i just got tired of blogging about myself. cause frankly, i was better at making you marvel at my laughable teenage pain than i ever was at penning my happiness. see, i'm 20 and enjoying this life but that just doesn't translate to a blog that i want to write. with that, this blog is going in a new direction. who/what/where exactly that direction leads to, only José knows. so move bitch, cause here it comes.