Evidently, there hasn't been enough boredom in the last 5 weeks to compel me to blog. Here's to a 2009 of even less boredom and blogging. Let's go for a record low in the boredometer, shall we? New Year, everybody. New Fucking Year! (and by that I don't necessarily mean a new year to engage in fucking because given my track record, that wouldn't be much of a year, rather a new year with an added exclamation)

P.S. Merry leXmas.

As if we needed more proof of its impending world domination, China has taken its American ass-whooping ways into cyberspace. From US intelligence, the same creative geniuses that brought us such classics as Saddam's Weapons of Mass Destruction and We Can Win Vietnam, comes another surefire blockbuster hit, China is Fucking Up Our Internets! So sayeth a report from the US-China Economic and Security Review Commission:

"China has an active cyber espionage program... [and] is stealing vast amounts of sensitive information from US computer networks... [It] can engage in forms of cyber warfare so sophisticated that the United States may be unable to counteract or even detect the efforts."

Holy crap, them Chinese are everywhere! They're clogging up the tubes! Clearly, this is a threat to American national security. Imagine if every time your average Joe, Plumber or otherwise, tries to watch some porn, he gets Rickroll'd in Mandarin. Every message in his inbox is spam, selling him pills to make his penis smaller. Every time he inappropriately pokes someone on Facebook, the police cut off his finger. He wouldn't be able to Google "Tiananmen Massacre" or "Dalai Lama" -- though he's probably never heard of Tiananmen and thinks the Dalai Lama is a fictional character in a TV show he watched as a kid. But worst of all, what if all the highlights on NBA.com only showed Yao Ming and Yi Jianlian?! America would die.

Equally unfortunate for Blackberry-wielding President-elect Barack Obama is that this probably doesn't help out his whole "First Wired (and Black too) President" cause. So he's got the whole economic crisis to fix, global warming to reverse, terrorists to convert away from the Dark Side and they won't even let him update his MySpace? Man, his life does suck.

And finally, here's one for the conspiracy theorists: Funny how this man of possibly Chinese descent quits his geeky job just before the whole China report comes up. Hm... revenge on Microsoft, anyone? Or not. He's Taiwanese. Fucking Wikipedia.


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Channelnewsasia.com: US Congress Warned of Chinese Cyberspace Threats

I won't pretend that I'm some kind of graphic novel über-geek. True, I've read a few of them, mainly the big ones (e.g. Sandman 1-10, Batman: Knightfall, and of course Watchmen.) Clearly, I'm no connoisseur and there are even times when I make the oh-so-grave mistake of referring to the genre as: "comic books", prompting threats from the geekier than thou class to physically emasculate me. Graphic novels, then. Got it. Point is, a Watchmen flick is coming out next year and we got trailers ( to prove it. )

At this point, it would be easy to start gushing on and on about how promising it looks and how psyched I am about '09. Or as Bush would eloquently describe such exceptional greatness: how "awesome" it is.

But I wouldn't want to lead anyone on. Sure, it looks good, owing to the fact that it very closely resembles its source material. Yes, it seems like there will be a significant amount of mind-blowing going on, especially with all that "Visionary Director" and "Most Celebrated Graphic Novel of All Time" stuff. But let's get real. You've known it for what, four minutes and 49 seconds? Is that really enough to make a long-term commitment to a movie? Big decisions like this require a lot of time to consider your options. I know you could say I'm being cynical here, but I'm just trying to be reasonable. What if all that good you see in it is just exaggerated flash to win you over? Behind all that CGI, it could still end up being another of those B-movie acting types that leave you crying. It takes time to truly get to know someone and I'm afraid that you're gonna rush into that theater, smitten with those costumes and explosions, only to realize what Watchmen is really like when the curtains part. But by then, it would be too late and you'll be stuck in the cinema, stuffing your face with cholesterol-flavored popcorn, suffering for the two-and-a-half hour eternity that you chose for yourself. And all you can think about is how much you miss your mom. God damn, that's how they all end.

So temper your expectations, kiddos. More importantly, don't get too attached. In the meantime, I'd like to get me a Quantum of Solace quickie.

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P.S. That song in the first trailer, The Beginning is the End is the Beginning by The Smashing Pumpkins, happens to be an alternate version of my first favorite song EVER, The End is the Beginning is the End, off the Batman and Robin soundtrack. Unlike the annoying, uninspired way other people use that hyperbole, I actually mean it. It really was my first. Ever. So you know what that means? Watchmen will be the best movie EVER. Oh yeah.

Hello, world. I'm back from my hiatus, which incidentally, was neither official nor an actual hiatus. It was just me being lazy in the midst of exams. Obviously, six weeks of dormancy means that I missed out on a lot of big things that happened in this wonderful world. For example, did you know that the American President-elect is a black guy? Fo'rizzle?! Wow. Bet that was news to you.

For now, I'm gonna conveniently ignore everything else that's been going on and talk about basketball. The new NBA season has just kicked off -- "just" being a relative term -- and the All-Star Ballot is already out. Obviously, it's way too early to vote for the starters, who will be throwing bad passes and even badder dunks this February, but if I could choose them right here and right now, I would. So this is me assuming that you all want to know who I'd pick. Lezgo:

Eastern Conference

• PG: Dwyane Wade - The guy I was man-crushing on back in 05-06 is back. I don't see the Heat making any waves this season, even with dope boy frosh Mike Beasley, but Wade is once again in MVP form and that's all I could give a shit about. BTW Dwyane, nice suit in the photo. Unfortunately, my man-crushing on you is strictly about basketball.


• SG: Joe Johnson - The Hawks are numero dos in the East and were rolling undefeated for a while until that bitch boy Paul Pierce decided to fuck it up. Leading the charge has been Joe and with or without Josh Smith, who's down for the time being, Johnson is the top honcho in Atlanta.


• SF: Lebron James - Lebron. James. Let's move on.


• PF: Chris Bosh - That 2003 draft class is pretty good, no? Early in the season, Toronto hasn't been living up to expectations -- by "expectations" I mean MY expectations. Everyone else shut up. Seeing the Knicks above them in the standings is just weird. I wouldn't blame it on Bosh, though. Even as he puts up 20 & 10 every night out, dude still seems underrated. But maybe that's cause he plays in Canada. It's too far up north.


• C: Dwight Howard - 30 points, 19 rebounds and 10(!) blocks. As dumb as I think his "Superman dunk" was in last year's Slam Dunk Competition, I'd like to see him defend his crown this year. All he has to do is jump up as high as he can -- very very high, that is -- and tear that rim off. Gerald Green would crap in his pants and Dwight would win by default. Friggin' beast.

Western Conference

• PG: Chris Paul - As of the time I'm writing this, CP3 has already extended his record-setting run of starting a season with at least 20 points and 10 assists in each game, to seven. So other than being able to induce involuntary orgasms from fantasy basketball freaks everywhere, people also unanimously agree that Paul is an overall nice guy. Whoopteedoo.


• SG: Kobe Bryant - Sometimes I find myself irrationally hating on the self-dubbed Black Mamba. Oh, Kobe is such a ball-hogging asshole. Oh, Kobe's an alleged rapist. Oh, fuck Kobe this, fuck Kobe that. But when the NBA Finals came around last year, you know who I was rooting for? Do you know why Game 4 hurt me so? Dammit, it was the Kobster and them Lakers whom I wanted to win. Or maybe I just harbor greater inexplicable hate for a certain Paul Pierce.


• SF: Carmelo Anthony - More 2003 draft love for everyone. Allen Iverson is now a Piston, making Mr. Anthony the undisputed gunner in Denver once again. Adding Billups into the mix should just make him that much better. And hey hey hey, word is, his defense is more intense this year too. But is that Lebron-Carmelo rivalry still going on? Cause there's already a winner and he isn't a Melo fellow.


• PF: Amar'e Stoudemire - Did anyone else know that there was an apostrophe in Amar'e? Well that's what NBA.com says. Not that it matters. Extra punctuation or not, The Man Who Beat Microfracture is off to another great season. Big numbers are a given, once again. Whether or not his run under the D'Antoni-less Suns will end in success, however, is a totally different matter.


• C: Andris Biedrins - China, we get it. You love Yao. Can we please get over it now? I need to see a new face in this position, pronto. This one was a actually a toss up between two promising young centers on sucky teams (the other being Al Jefferson) but I decided that we gotta give white people a chance. Obama won already, so don't be greedy.

Ultimately, fan voters will screw this one up yet again. (Read: T-Mac, Vince and Yao will start.) So go out and vote! It's more than just a privilege; it's your duty. Besides, with nothing left to keep our Election Fever running high, the feeling of filling out a ballot could help ease the withdrawal symptoms.

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NBA.com: 2009 NBA All-Star ballot unveiled

Hurrah for lack of blog activity! I know I'm supposedly on a hiatus but I'm unable to sleep tonight. Not sure why. Maybe I'm just dying to blog. Besides, how can I abandon this monthly feature that has drawn such rave reviews? Oh yea, you know you love it, dear parents.

But before we get to the wonderful music I've been listening to, let me just make my lone comment on the coming US Presidential Elections: If McCain wins, I'll be extremely happy that I'm not American. ( USA! USA! )

Go get one for yourself and pretend you're being responsible too!

I was gonna post this last night but I was too busy rocking out to MGMT's Kids. Right here is the first installation of what I intend to make a monthly feature of this blog, and I'm calling it:

Los Álbumes que Le Han Gustado Más a José Durante Las Cuatro Semanas Pasadas

A fancy nickname would compromise the completeness and specificity of the current title. So I'm gonna stick with the full name.

Now I'm no good at describing music and if I tried, I wouldn't be doing justice to the following bands. Check 'em out for yourself and enjoy them. ( Because I did. )

As I've said earlier, I'm eagerly awaiting the 2010 Philippine Presidential Elections. So far, not much has been happening since Manny Villar's budget brouhaha and it's getting kinda boring. Only two years left and nothing's happening! It's killing me. Thank God for Erap Estrada.

The former president, and by far the greatest Filipino action hero to have ever lived, dropped a little teaser for his rabid fans out there when he hinted at the possibility of him making another go at the job he does best in 2010.

"I would like to unite the opposition to ensure the victory of the opposition. But the concern is, if they don't do as I envision, who am I to refuse the people if they clamor?" Estrada said in an interview on GMA 7 television late Sunday evening.

Oh, we shall clamor for you, great visionary! Bring out the pots, pans and bullhorns-on-wheels because tonight, we shall clamor for our King! Ah, such is the beauty of Philippine democracy. If we want something done, fuck due process. Make enough noise and you shall get your way (provided that you can out-clamor the opposition). It seems that Erap knows this and isn't afraid to use it to get back to the top.

Allow me to borrow and mangle a little quote from Fight Club: "We are the all-singing, all-dancing, all-clamoring crap of the world." How very true that is of the Motherland. Does your president suck? Clamor! Do you want cheaper education? Clamor away! Do you have a primal need to watch a perverted variety show host who has no actual talent? Clamor with no regard for human life! Do you need $700 billion to save your economy? Clam... Whoops! Guess that only works in the Philippines.

With this in mind, I have formulated a plan that could make Erap's road to the presidency a bit simpler. I say we stop pretending to act like a civilized people and get down to what we really want to see out of these elections: Sex! Blood! Gossip! Ladies and gentlemen, I'm talking entertainment. Let's scrap the whole voting thing. I mean who wants to waste time thinking through the merits and qualifications of the candidates? Braincells are sooo overrated. And no more of these party platforms and shit. The only platforms we wanna see are those that the candidates are dancing on. Yeah!

So here's how it works. On election day -- we'll call it Midgets in Drag Day cause that's what gets us Filipinos all excited --  the candidates put on a concert where they have to sing, dance, act, strut down a runway, endorse a cellphone service provider and rattle off a list of empty promises, all in rapid succession. And we, the people of universal suffrage, we just clamor for our guy. We cheer for our pick and boo at the opposition. When that gets old, all hell breaks loose -- as if it hasn't already -- in a Battle Royale-esque free-for-all. If we do it this way, even if an incompetent movie star gets elected (and I guarantee that he will) at least we get a kick out of our own suffering.

See, when you have a guy, impeached for corruption, convicted of plunder, and confident that he "still [has] the support of the people", you know there's no point in due process. We'll end up with our beloved Box Office King no matter what, so why should we waste our time with these pretenders? Can they take on 100 bad guys, armed only with their bare fists and sing a heroic ballad atop the mass of dead bodies afterward? I think not.

But Erap can. Better take those salsa lessons seriously, Manny. Keep up the karaoke practice, Ping-ping. You're gonna need 'em if you wanna take on the man in 2010.


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Estrada hints at 2010 candidacy - INQUIRER.net

Alas, I have been tagged by the Losman. What can I do but oblige?

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1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 56.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the next seven sentences in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don't dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.
6. Tag five friends to do the same!

     agreement; avenirse a algo/a hacer algo to
     agree on sthg/ to do sthg.
aventajado, da adj [adelanto] outstanding.
aventajar vt [rebasar] to overtake; [estar por
     delante de] to be ahead of; aventajar a alguien
     en algo to surpass sb in sthg.
aventar [19] vt - 1. [abanicar] to fan - 2. [trigo]


What was I supposed to do? It was a Spanish dictionary. So sue me. Unfortunately, I'm not one to impose myself on others and I'm all for freedom so go ahead and do the meme if you want. I tag you

Amidst the $700,000,000,000 (that's billion) conundrum that the flailing Gringos are struggling to answer, it's becoming more evident that eventually -- and I'm not saying soon, just eventually -- we're gonna have to reconsider just how "super" the American "superpower" is. When that happens, rest assured that the role of the arrogant, meddling, pop culture-defining Center of the Universe shall not be left untaken -- just don't expect them to be so white. Lucky for us Asians, the World's Next Top Superpower could be living right next door! Oh, who could it be, you ask? Let's get to it!

First up, we have the People's Republic of Ch-ch-ch-chiiiiiina! Less than two months removed from the gold medal haul that made El Dorado look like heaps of 5-cent coins in comparison, the Chinese are back in the news -- in other Olympic news, Michael Phelps has offered to pay a gold medal to prevent foreclosure on the underwater cave he shares with Aquaman. Back to China. Two days ago, a certain Zhai Zhigang became the first Chinese guy to float about in space. Other than all that history-making nonsense, the real big deal about the mission was that the suit Mr. Zhai wore was 100% Made in China. You heard that, haters?  Now everything is made in China. One day, you're wife's gonna give birth to a kid that does kung-fu and quotes from the Little Red Book. Made in China, bitch! It's a good thing too, cause we all know that we can trust Chinese products.

And the showboating doesn't stop there. While the US focuses on not completely imploding, the Asian superpower-to-be has set its eyes on setting up its own space station, followed by an attempt to send its own man to the moon. This can only mean that it won't be long before imitation stardust is available in your local back alleys. Fake happiness for everyone! And who do we have to thank for it? The All-Powerful Chairman, of course. Down with the capitalists!

For all ye Communist-fearing folk, worry not, there's still another player willing to take on the void left behind by the Land of the Free. Ladies and gentlemen, coming from other side of the Himalayas... India! *bust out the bhangra* Not quite as huge as their Chinese neighbors, but right up there with them in the race to conquer the world through sheer population, India is also making waves in the news these days. After 34 years of being shunned by the international big boys, India is one giant step closer to becoming a legit nuclear power. The US House of Representatives just gave them superpower hopefuls the go signal to trade nuclear technology with America. And there's no catch. Without the need to sign the Non-Proliferation Treaty (NPT), technically, India could freely commercially trade nuclear tech to any evil villain who wants to kill us all. Of course, India's track record shows that they'll play nice and given that they don't try to blow up half the world, they're well on their way to becoming one of the Nuclear Cool Kids (read: superpowers).

<sidenote> Is it just me or are these nuclear pacts completely fucked up? So a few guys decide to make nuclear weapons and tell everyone else that if they wanna get in on the fun, they can't. Cause the Cool Kids got first dibs on it. Why is it that if Iraq or North Korea builds a bomb, it's a Weapon of Mass Destruction but if one of the "good guys" does it, it's a "deterrent". How bout we all just nuke our nukes and get over it? Or is it just Miss Universe who still wants world peace? </sidenote>

Yes, it's odd talking about the downfall of the US of A but let's face it. Caesar was pretty sure his empire was gonna last forever. Wonder how that turned out for him. So while we all watch America get wiped off the map -- God Obama help us all -- it's a good idea to get to know who could be controlling the world in the not so distant future.