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and my house is a disaster! I have to start shipping out the boxes!! Sell things!!! Buy things!!! @_@;; This is such a big move. My dining table is looking more like a working table, there are papers, money, receipts, wallet, pens, cereal, glasses, head band, and letters scattered all over. I need to reorganize my house. I can't live in this chaotic mess. It's not even an organized chaos.

I'm learning. Since 311 days ago I've gone from square one to twenty then back to two and one. I went from square one to hundred and I'm far from square one today. Bouncing back from lessons, from mistakes, from regret, to fully accepting it all, I've come a long way. Emotionally and mentally I'm so much more stronger today. I've finally learned what self-respect is suppose to be, despite my flaws, I'm happy I had to learn it this way. In the quickest and the longest way possibly. In 311 days I learned this but it took me 24 years to finally experience this.

2.22 a.m.
Is this a small fragment of my "ah ha" moment. 311 days ago I felt like a little blur in the distance but today I'm focused in the middle field. I'm not ready for my close portraiture, not yet.

Crack the shutters, so says Snow Patrol.

Maybe that one call was all your needed. A reassurance, a redemption, call it whatever you want. Now you are really free from guilt. Fly away. Now you can be happy. We're only human and good can be redeemed. Fall in love truly, don't ever fool yourself.

"Let go of who you were to become who you will be"
(Sex and the City)

Officially, I have 100 days until I'm done with my contract! TIme is flying... good... time is flying.

I have to believe that there will be something amazing after every journey. There are reasons why I met the people that I did. I have to believe in something. The worst thing than failure is being hopeless. I really love watching Kiki's Delivery Service - it makes me happy - it reminds me of me... in some ways.

...until my awesome friend, Tang, arrives! I'm going to be at the airport hanging around, with a sign with your name on it! HAHA... I love that I have something to look forward to!

I've been making bunch of Indian curry. Vindaloo curry has been a little salty and spicy but pretty good. I also tried Tikka Mandala. Yum... but I think I had too much spicy food!

My effort to get healthy seems a little futile when after a workout I end up eating late at night --_--;; I just get so hungry after a workout. I'll need to be smarter about things!

Since I got my moles removed from my face, 5 of them, I have to stay away from swimming. I'm rather sad but I must do what I must do. I got it done from my dermatologist, along with my laser, and it costed me only $10 per removal! This is yet another reason why I love Korea! I was thinking... if I do decide to come back to Korea it would be after further education and nothing less than 2.5 million won offer. Actually, I've become more demanding... I'd want more than that! If I do get more educational training... I'd want 3 million. I'm getting more ambitious...

I was almost falling in love,
thought this could be my own.
Took my chance and just drove
into something unknown.

Then fate played me a fool,
took me aside and let me drown.
In my own stupid pool,
full of nothing but this sad frown.

Not even a month has passed,
you're already gaga over this new prize.
Nothing really seems to outlast,
the hungry desire between your thighs.

*

Figuratively and literally I've been holding onto my breath for too long and now it's time to face the reality.

Literally - I need to learn to breathe when I swim.
Figuratively - I need to see my life as it is. I need to become a whole hearted me.




Without holding myself back, I'm going to plunge into this thing called life, and basically take risks. Risks with myself, with the world, and with love. Through mistakes we find ourselves, therefore nothing in life is a real mistake, it's just a hard lesson.



Note to self: Do not order Nene chicken when you are by yourself. I feel slightly sick and I don't think I can finish the rest of it. Hmm.. what a waste of money.



The Statue above is of a man who invented the Korean writing system. King Sejeong.

This weekend I went to see Klimt exhibition and it was better then what I've been told. I had a very low expectations after receiving a negative feedback from a colleague but it was not bad overall. Before we entered the gallery, my co-worker, John and I passed by a wine shop and he decided to buy us a wine and drink it costing him about $37. He ultimately bought it and we shared a drink but I felt bad that he paid so much for it. Later, I offered to pay for his lunch at a Mexican place called Dos Taco. The name of the wine was "Vampire" - interesting - it tasted alright.



After the exhibition we headed to Yeoido to see the cherry blossoms, but it seemed that we came a little too early, for not many trees were in full bloom. Overall, it was a pretty good day.

Today, I went shopping with Rachel and let's just say I made a little dent in my pocket! I suck at saving. Ah well.. it's just money. :P

YES! So it's all booked!!!!

April 30-May 3: Beijing, China
May 9-11: Tokyo, Japan

All with reasonable price! AH I'm truly excited! My friends are coming soon to visit me! I'm super excited. Thank you life- bonus point to you! I'm lucky to be able to travel.

Tomorrow is my first swimming lesson! Yippy~ I gotta wake up at 8:30 am and shave my legs (tmi?) and walk over about 20 minutes. I forgot to buy an air pump so biking won't be an option. I've been so productive over the last week, yay, bonus point to moi~ But my body's seriously suffering from fatigue.

Tiramisu has been a sick dog lately. Today he had an x-ray, mammogram, and blood tested. It broke my pocket a bit - $130 - but he makes me happy so he's worth it! I love him so much! I know, I'm seriously in love with my dog despite the fact that I ignore him sometimes. Poor thing.. he needs more company and I feel like he deserves better!

I rediscovered James Blunt. After having lost nearly all songs on my computer I downloaded James Blunt again and am in love again. This time it's real love.

The only positive outcome of a breakout is your determination to become even more fabulous. This summer I'm going to become stunningly hot. ;p

I joined a swimming class with my co-worker, Rachel. Seriously, learning to swim properly has been on my life's "to do" list. I emphasize properly because I can swim, it's just that I don't breathe. So you can see where my problem lies. The classes are every Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 9:30 a.m. This will motivate me to stay busy and productive throughout the day!



This is where I take my dog for a walk!
@ Dan-Chun.

It's actually been a while since I hung out with people other than at work. Going out was nice. Dressing up is always fun, too! That little white fur ball on the left would be my dog, Tiramisu (a.k.a. the thing that makes me happy).

It takes a week for a mail to get delivered half way around the world. Fourteen hours to fly half way around the world. Thirty minutes to burn 120 calories walking at 4 km/h. Ten minutes to make instant noodle. Three minutes to boil water. And it takes only a minute to cook popcorn. But it takes just few seconds for lovers to become strangers. He didn’t even fight for it. He let me go just like that, easily, effortlessly, and freely.

I want to be happy. It is not my goal to be happy because you cannot find happiness, it just comes to you. WIll it take twice the time or half the time to be completely be unaffected by the breakup? I'm fine but everytime my memory stirs it relapses into bitterness. Half the time has passed, so will it take twice the time that I've known him? He is now singing in blissful spring festivity - aka - he has a new girl. How else could I sugar coat that? With that new knowledge and his added status update which I've become irritated with on facebook -- I've dumped all his shit out -- I was going to be nice and let him have it, but I decided to play the "immature" card if you will. But was I really being immature in deciding to throw out his shit that has been lying around for a month? No. Part of me laughed when I dumped his crap. I was going to be cool with it all but he just proved to be an immature boy who still hasn't figured himself yet. He's still growing up. I don't know why I didn't consider those facts before dating him.

As one of my friend has said.. now I'm level 2.0. Yay me~

Did I learn? Yes. Tremendously.
Ask me again: Was waiting worth it? Hmm... You see.. it's not matter of waiting for that special someone because when you think about it, this is yet another form of fairy tale. We all know fairy tales don't really happen in real life, so that should answer that question. With every bad outcome you really do LEARN something from it. Just think positively, this bad will eventually lead to something good, which will be my fantastic future husband. LOL

I finally got around to deleting all traces of him. I don't need any physical remains, memories are enough. Goodbye. Your belongings will be sent to the dump. Your number has been erased. You are no longer my friend. Thanks. Have a nice day.

OMG I actually feel so much better! I see why people throw things out - it's part of moving on!

I don't think I've ever felt so dumb and used in my life. WOW. That was a total blow in the face and a total awakening! Thanks for the reminder life, now I will clear far and wide away from these Type X.

Life is ironic isn't? I do one thing in favor and BOOM it lead to another and another - and in the end I become the fool - I basically dug my own grave. Life is so fucked up, you wonder.

You were only sincere for the moment; everyone can give you a moment's worth but not to be betrayed in a moment. I think I can safely say, I almost hate you. I try to be a better person, I've erased all traces of you, all hard files are gone.. but now I only need to erase those digital memories, too. I can't believe you. You little shit... I need to vent. I fell flat on my own face. I was flying.. and I got too confident... and I fell. Fell hard hard hard. I will only think of the good outcome of this - which is - stay away from GUYS like him. OMG. I feel really stupid. I feel dumb. It's okay.. I'll be alright.

All three bundles of "ahem" joys are my cousins kids! In order of the picture, Han Woon, Han Bee, and Han Ho. :) Ho is soooo cute! He was so fixated by the fountain. Bee is just so sweet and easy to take care of... andddddddd there is Woon. Oh where to even start with this girl. Cute.. but let me tell you that is deception!

We left at 9 am and got home at 8 pm. It was such a long Sunday! As well, the day before that I went to a wedding. Oy... never again do I want to attend another Korean wedding.

On another note, my mom called me last night to tell me that my cousin, Jenny, was getting married. Oh, nice! To a white guy-- she mentions as a side note. We're all cool with that in our family. ^^

This is my favorite wall. I covered it up with a green floral patterned wallpaper to make it more personalized. This wall is filled with postcards from my awesome friend Tang and it has pictures of people that I like. It's one place in my house that makes me happy. :)

Today is finally Friday! I didn't take any special picture today so here's another self-portrait. I look ultra sleepy here (it was taken at 2 am). I had just come back from a friend's house - we watched The Center of the World - and it was pretty good.

Did I mention that I love Monday, Wednesday, and Friday classes because they fly by fast!

Tomorrow, I'm going to a wedding.
Note to self: Must look "nice". My grandma is worried, she is afraid I might come looking like a bum. >.<

I straightened my hair with an iron. I like this flexibility. I can go either wavy or straight. But I'm not ready to go back to permanent straight hair. Let's experiment. I'm also considering going shorter when summer really hits. Maybe in couple months?



This is the face cleansing oil that I use to remove all my makeup. It's so easy! In just one step I can remove everything - including waterproof mascara! This is actually a small bottle sample I got and my Sony point and shoot camera was able to get a good zoom of it! This sample bottle is less than 8 cm big!