I was born free

So I was already thinking as I re-read the first three chapters and started the new ones of Lily's Choice: all right, yeah, this alone - but definitely as I also consider givemethechild's Dark Side of the Moon - makes me feel quite positive I don't ever have to write Lily/Severus again. It's Been Done.

(Which is actually a distressing feeling - I still love my first OTP and don't want to drop them in any way, and while the new canon is certainly love, I still feel like I'm letting it defeat me.... But that has nothing to do with these two stories which are fucking gold, a million times better than anything I'll write anytime soon.)


And then I got to this quote...


( spoilery )

Randomly, I got another plot bunny as I was writing my insane review (my difficulty with having Lily genuinely prefer James to Severus - but what if he damaged her so much she prefers his complete opposite, the fluffy ridiculous manly type? - Oddly enough, yes, the idea of him "damaging her so much" still appeals to me).  *strokes chin*  I may still want to stick to drabble-like, vignettes, or other not really full or serious fics for a while, though.  It's exhausting to tackle the full concept of their relationship, explaining everything from beginning to end with canon.  Much easier, of course, to assume it's all fact from beginning and then just examine certain particulars about it....

arrrrrrrgh stupid make-out scenes, stupid inebriation, stupid lack of motivation - I'm breaking all my own rules (they do not need to be under any influences to get it on and it is absolutely NOT one-sided) and I could/should have stopped it long ago but a first-kiss scene was requested.  Arrrrrrrgh.

*sends*

(By the way, it's so funny writing Severus with the new canon.  He's a lovesick puppy, and it's IC.)

So, I did mention I'm participating in the less_for_you exchange, for which the deadline is now...tomorrow. 

I'm 700 words over the minimum, I've written several good scenes exploring their relationship - technically, there's a full story already here, written.  But it's not done, and it's not approaching the end the way I initially wanted.

And I wrote those 700 words just tonight, and enjoyed them, but now it's slowing down too much so that I'm slightly burning out and starting to wonder, didn't they already do this?  Don't I always write fluffy romantic scenes like this?  Where is this going?

...And now I'm even starting to wonder, do I really need a make-out scene?

Which is pretty much shipper blasphemy.  I haven't written real Lily/Severus in SO LONG - and I do still love and enjoy them, but eh.  It's hard to fight canon (at least in Harry Potter, not Hellsing), and struggling to find a way to fit it in the timeline confirmed by the seventh book takes away my drive. 

But I'm burning out now and want time to find my focus again and ha, this is why you're not supposed to put it off until the last night.



(Unrelatedly, I've had a pretty good draft of the first chapter of my crossover of awesomeness (Hellsing/Harry Potter/Ouran) written for a while now.  ...Should I go ahead and post it?  I'm pretty clueless on what'll come in the next few chapters after it - that is, the developing part of Integra and Kyouya's relationship - but I've had so many brilliant ideas for them and all the Host Club together, I decided it would be criminal not to give it all a serious go.  Anyway, what would I lose by posting it?  Who knows, I might even get some comments.)