I was born free

And freshly written!  Which means FIRST DRAFT OMG.

First I'd like to post this tiny angsty Integra/Alucard ficlet.  Featuring angst.  And also an awkward sketchy school!theory I threw in just because.



Second, four of six drabbles in a series, right now v. loosely titled "Series of Drabbles Concerning the Host Club's Interactions with Integra Hellsing."  It actually seems as much of a mechanical exercise as the title, an attempt to keep me motivated on the awesomeness of my crossover.  So I don't think the drabbles have a lot of punch or profound twists; they're really just little summaries of their individual relationship with Integra.  Also, they're quite rough in flow because I was just so impressed I actually finished at 100 words exactly.

First line (or three) of a fic:


Father had taught her about many of the demonic tendencies of vampires, but he had failed to mention that they would try to steal her underwear.

She started to wonder now how he could have neglected it, when it seemed that for at least one certain vampire, it was his highest priority and goal for which he ceaselessly worked.

"No, NO, I definitely saw you that time, give them back."

Okay so I'm (slowly) reading the latest chapter of The Constant Guardian (the banter occasionally amuses me, but the writing/characterisation is so very questionable, so I have to go slow given my extreme sensitivity about Integra's characterisation), and a reminder of the plot (pill-induced vampirism in Romania) triggered this line of thought -

The actual likelihood of that if it were possible (which could be v. likely if vampires were, y'know, real) - how it would probably appear on the internet, some big flashing ad on a homepage like "WANNA BE A VAMPIRE?  THERE'S AN EASY WAY WITH NO DANGEROUS BITING INVOLVED" and when Walter shows it to Integra, how she would mutter, "That's sick.  ...I'd like to shoot Stephanie Meyer and Anne Rice.  Can we classify it as urgent prevention measures?"

and then how Integra probably has pinned up somewhere a hit list of authors etc. who are famous for making vampires seem cool, and also dreams of one day forcing them to have a disclaimer in all their works of how vampirism is just as cool as a bullet to the face, which she will assuredly personally deliver

- and then if Stephanie Meyer ever did an (extremely likely) British tour...how she might be kidnapped detoured for a little while so Integra can introduce her to Alucard and show her just how sparkly vampires are.


looooooool oh my God it's FRICKIN' BRILLIANT I can taste it, that would be so so cool and it could even spread like wildfire through fandom (if I'm able, as is always my problem, to live up to the idea with my execution).  Oh man oh man.  I don't think I can resist now, since I've thought about it for ten seconds.  It'll be short, a one-shot and just short of crack.

(I have not actually read Twilight, but I've heard an awful lot about it, particularly from buttfacemakani's extensive rants (1 2) and then some others.  I kind of do want to read it, for the same reason I like to read babb_chronicles, but it holds extra interest as published badfic.  It could cheer me up.)

ETA:  Okay I have to give credit where credit is due, particularly considering my blunt appraisal of The Constant Guardian at the top - but this just made me crack up laughing, it's really perfect:

[Alucard discussing the pill-induced vampires:]

"...Drug-ulas, perhaps.”

Integra closed her eyes wearily. “Five hundred years of personally experiencing cultural evolution—the renaissance, philosophy, the arts—and that’s the best quip you can come up with?”

So, the author of those fantastic Tamaki/Kyouya fics - hooloovoo_too - commented back to my spaztastic reviews, sounding quite pleased to get such intensely positive feedback.  I also may have mentioned my preference for Integra/Kyouya, on which she also commented.

Kyouya/Integra? That's one I never would have thought of in a million years, but since you suggested it, it makes an eerie amount of sense. I like Ouran a lot better than Hellsing (I think it takes itself less seriously, and as a result, the plot holes tend to be less obvious), but I love the idea of Kyouya and Integra playing off each other.

AHHHH, THE VINDICATION.  IT TASTES GOOD.

And also, as I said in my reply, boosts my expectations for actually having a readership for my insane crossover fic, heh.  (It is a brilliant idea for a ship and other stuff, I know, I just don't know how many people know and love both Ouran and Hellsing [...and maybe Harry Potter too] and are willing to try something with them combined.

On a related note, tonight I found an old entry in my personal journal with a defensive explanation of my tendency to crossover - I described it as "I tie everything I love into everything else I love."  Indeed.  The ultimate goal is a great mass of everything I love at once, bringing on supreme happiness and euphoria of the sort which only recreational drugs are supposed to achieve.

To continue plugging hooloovoo_too (am now watching that fic journal of hers) - I read her few other Ouran fics, and would like to specifically link to The Freckles in Our Eyes Are Mirror Images, which is a series of vignettes on the twins as they grew up.  Very intriguing and entertaining set of stories with them, definitely.  One quote:

Hikaru toddles over to the nurse and yanks at her skirts. “We got hurt,” he says, jerking her urgently in Kaoru’s direction. “We’re bleeding,” and it takes her fifteen seconds of panicked searching to realize that he means Kaoru instead of himself.

Oh, and one more because I'm dying for this to happen in my world so Integra can have a specific reaction, but I don't know how to tie them together.  So, the twins' nurse is giving them sex-ed when they're thirteen (awesome scene):

“Men have penises,” she says matter of factly, “and you can have sex with them.”

Integra: DO GO ON.


And finally, I recently got three new reviews (from the same person), one each for The Funeral, Out of the Dungeon, and By the Way, a Vampire Ate My Uncle.  The first is "simply wonderful," but the other two are more pleasing.  One is nearly a haiku!

that was very good

very well written

as was The Funeral

SOONER THAN ANYONE (INCLUDING MYSELF) THOUGHT POSSIBLE -

The story I mentioned in my last entry.  W00t.  A number of brilliant things (like a title!  A real title, on a level with Mischief Managed!) came together at once, and it was fantastic.

Other author notes:  Betaed by the excellent givemethechild.  I've missed her as a beta.  The story referenced is The Man-eating Tree by Phil Robinson. 

Feedback is such love.

Mmm, Hellsing research.  Two nice discoveries last night:

Yogi Tea: Awesome, very informative tea site which also makes very good tea.  Has great categories and lists of ingredients for specific purposes.

List of vampire literature published before Dracula.

Old WIPs are published; new ones begun.  I hope to have various little things - or one, anyway - soon.  And meanwhile I have a strong urge to write a Harry/Ron/Hermione smutfic, the way it ought to be done - which means with oodles of hurt/comfort.  I just distantly remember reading a fic, long ago, which had how it should be.  There ought to be more, so yeah.  And it's occurred to me I've never written Harry before.  Or Ron, really.  Hermione got a line or two in Put a Light in the Window - but smutfic will be very different. :D

I ought to write Minerva/Tom, too. *is pensive*

Meanwhile, I am enjoying working on my fic for the less_for_you exchange.  Deadline May 5th, yay. 

So yes, hopefully I'll have something new (albeit short) soon.

...And if you happen to know of the RestrictedSection.org, look for a story called And in Arcadia I by Catja M., I believe.  It's not about sex; just really gorgeous, sad and somewhat dark but not oppressingly so.  It's the best I've seen on that site in a while. 

By the Way, a Vampire Ate My Uncle is posted.

*facepalm*

(I ended up rationalizing it into sense.  Sigh.)

I can't believe, though, that I've posted three fics - two longstanding WIPs - in the last week or so.  WTF.  Here's to 2008 being productive as the last week, heh.  Particularly for Out of the Dungeon and my nightmare-story (yeah, ought to make a resolution about a certain word count a month for that).

FINISHED ETERNAL WIP IS FINISHED.

What was hitherto always known as "the crazy bathtub scene" - now dubiously titled Calculations of Worth - is posted. *preens*

AND.  I think there will be another posting TOMORROW, from another eternal WIP (the post-funeral scene).  W00t.  Once I decide on a title that isn't hideously stupid.  (No, Lavinia, you really shouldn't call it By the Way, a Vampire Ate My Uncle.  You shouldn't.)

I HAS A DRABBLE.

It's like my fourth attempt of the night, but I really like it - and it has a bit of mystery that's really, really obvious to anyone who remotely knows me, hem.  Also, my tags may or may not give it away.  And yes, it's exactly 100 words!

***

They are passionate.  They have their own private armies.  They are bespectacled, and they are absolutely, ruthlessly determined not to let anything stop them from their highest goals.  They command a frightening amount of power, in their respectively secret ways, and they have honor which prevents them from misusing it…too much.

They have never before met anyone of the opposite sex whom they could truly call an equal.

Walter poured more tea for Tamaki, who sniffed and blinked sorrowfully up at him.  “Walter…do you think they’re…in love?”

Walter sighed.  "Only in, if I may use the term, a narcissistic fashion."

Yeah, I wrote this a year ago for my two bestest Hellsing friends who actually understand what I blather about. I probably should have posted it here too then, but I didn't get it finished until after Christmas Day. But here it is now, anyway - and I awfully wish I could post it to integraxalucard  , but I just realized it would have to go under a very loose definition of shippy. Dammit.

Ah well - here we are now!