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this weekend was pretty awesome. allison came to visit and she is awesome for braving a 6 hour trip here and like 7 hour trip back. we didn't do much, just hung out and watched movies and stuff but it was so nice to have someone here that just completely knows me and i can be myself around. we talked and stuff, it was nice, i needed it, and i'm so happy she came. i hope she thought the bus rides were worth it haha.
i am so ready for it to be christmas break. i am really sick of people being in bitchy moods and i'm sick of not knowing whether i can joke around and talk to them because they're just so rude when they're like that. i am sick of the loudness and how my area is so cramped. i'm sick of three different TVs on i'm sick of TVs on at 2:00 in the morning, i'm sick of the lights always being off and always having to be quiet during the day because people are sleeping.
lizzie and i are so excited for our new room. we have big plans of cool posters, magazine subscriptions, and "dinner" parties with wine haha. we also cant wait to rearrange all our stuff and make our room really personal and cool and fun. i hope things are a lot better once we move. we also can't wait to have visitors and we can't wait to be able to have people we know at school hang out in our room, becuase now we can't really do that. we think it'll be better environment for studying and sleeping, too. i can't wait. lizzie is awesome and we have fun together so i hope this is a good thing.
i have tons of work this week, and studying. i want it to be over.
it was so depressing, yesterday in the hallway i decided i wanted to do a back handspring. well anyone who knwos me knows that those thigns used to be like second nature to me, and it was just as easy as walking for me. and it should be, i've known how to do it since like 5th grade. well i could hardly do them anymore. i had to get this girl from the hall to spot me because i was so scared, they were slow, and ugly, and terrible. it was so depressing.
i am really trying to just hang in there right now and get through this as best i can. i know i'm not doing a very good job and i know i'm not perfect and i know i can try harder, it's just tough. i'm trying to please everyone and help everyone but i feel like i'm so sad most of the time that i can't do it, and that makes me more sad. i just feel like i mess things up unnecessarily when i talk to people but i just can't help it. so if i've let you down lately, i'm sorry.
i'm trying to see the light at the end of the tunnel, kate, i really am. love you
love,
laura
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