~There are plenty of other things to be got up to in the homosexual world outside the orbit of the anal ring, but the concept that really gets the goat of the gay-hater, the idea that really spins their melon and sickens their stomach is that most terrible and terrifying of all human notions, love. That one can love another of the same gender, that is what the homophobe really cannot stand. Love in all eight tones and all five semitones of the word's full octave. Love as agape, Eros and philos; love as romance, friendship and adoration; love as infatuation, obsession and lust; love as torture, euphoria, ecstacy and oblivion; love as need, passion and desire.~ - Moab is My Washpot, Stephen Fry.
~Here's how bizarre a war we're in, and we should have known this right from the get-go. When we first went into Iraq, Germany didn't want to go. Germany, the Michael Jordan of war, took a pass. And it might not have been a moral objection, it might have been like a friend who's an alcoholic who doesn't want to go with you to a bar because it's just too tempting. They'll just be sitting behind us going, 'Ohhhh... are those cluster bombs? I miss them so much! Here I come, Poland...'~ - Jon Stewart.
~There's nothing wrong with being gay. I have plenty of friends who are going to hell.~ - Stephen Colbert.
~Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.~ - Oscar Wilde.
~If you don't believe drugs have done good things for us, then go home and burn all your records, all your tapes, and all your CDs because every one of those artists who have made brilliant music and enhanced your lives? Real fucking high on drugs. The Beatles were so fucking high they let Ringo sing a few songs.~ - Bill Hicks.
~Racist people, interestingly are never as polite as smokers. Have you noticed that? Smokers always go, 'Do you mind if I smoke? Oh, you do? Okay, I'll go outside and have a cigarette.' Racist people never go, 'Do you mind if I'm racist? Oh, I'll go outside... Fucking blue people, eh? Coming here, steal our hamsters...'~ - Eddie Izzard.
~Children only have two choice career paths they'd like to pursue. One is to be an ice-cream tycoon, and the other is to be a giraffe. If they can get close to either one of those, they're going to be pretty happy.~ - John Oliver.
~I think you’ll find it’s a bit more complicated than that…~ - Dr Ben Goldacre.
~If you think about the people who really don't like gay people, they're about the sorriest bunch of dickheads in the entire universe. So anything that annoys them has got to be a good thing. That's just it - I'm not really bothered by anyone's sexual preferences, but anyone that pisses off that many dickheads has got to be the best bunch of people in the world. I think they should have more rights. The more the better. I don't care what in, either. Gay marriage? Fantastic. Gay adoption? Beautiful. I love reading about that because somewhere there's someone else reading it choking on their cheese and pickle sandwich in the back of his white van reading it in the Daily Star. Reading it in the Mail, choking on their tea and crumpets in absolute righteous indignation. That's absolutely superb. Add asylum seekers and gypsies to the mix. Even better.~ - Wil Hogdson.
~Britain and America, the two countries most committed to the war on terror also have the Western world's highest rates of teenage pregnancy. Now, this fact suggests to me two things. One, that the war on terror is really giving our teenagers the horn. And two, it suggests that as nations we get too excited by the prospect of an easy conquest without really thinking about the long-term consequences.~ - Andy Zaltzman.