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[20 Aug 2008|11:41pm] advice4teens [stick_figurexx]  is it possible to get better from things when ur not ever sure whats wrong and when the things u do know arent right u really dnot want to change i like meing skinny i dont want to recover n get fat but other than anorexia/ed-nos i dont have a clue what else is wrong with me like i know its not just ana but idk :s i just scared :s i dont want to like my hole life like this i start college on monday but           all those ppl :s i dont want to be around them all :s  and i dont want questions about my weight and "if im ok" :( :s 4 comments|post comment

weighty issue... [20 Aug 2008|05:22pm] advice4teens [makingamockery] [ music | kiss me - new found glory ] Hi, I'm Hayley. I've got a question about weight, diet, exercise, etc... ( here you go... ) 5 comments|post comment

Foolishness [20 Aug 2008|12:12am] advice4teens [kream_kitsune] I've been making terrible decisions lately, and I dont care. It's scaring me because I know what I'm doing is wrong, but I'm doing it anyway. I dont get it, it's like all I care about is my own gratification. It's like sometimes I make a decision, and don't even know why I do it. I cant even explain it. 3 comments|post comment

Bad Influence? [19 Aug 2008|01:14am] advice4teens [ehs_bandie] [ mood | worried ] I'm really hurt right now. I tell my best friend Katie everything, and she tells me everything. There are no secrets. Life is good.  But then I start dating Jim, who is 2 years older than me, a high school dropout, and who drinks like there's no tomorrow. Yet he loves me, appreciates me, and we're so good together. We've been dating for a year. Anyway, I told Katie about him as soon as we started dating, and she was okay with it. But then, when I started going to parties with him and started being stupid, like drinking with him, she started to talk to her parents. She wouldn't tell me it bothered me. And NOW her Dad doesn't want her anywhere near me, because he says I'm a "bad influence".  I realize now that I made bad decisions, and I stopped drinking. I haven't stopped dating Jim though. He's a wonderful guy, and I love him. I appreciate him, and I love who he is. I wouldn't want to change a thing about him, or us. Katie and I still talk in school, a lot, and we still consider each other best friends, but I feel really different now. Since she's gone to her parents and told me she was fine (she lied) I feel like I can't tell her anything. I'm afraid she'll tell her parents. It's like I'm being fake now, when she asks how everything is, or what I did last weekend. I just tell her "oh, nothing" and go on with the conversation. I'm keeping secrets. Should I just be open and forget her parents, or should I dump Jim and go back to the way things were, when I wasn't a bad influence? I mean, I care about my best friend dearly, and she was there first, but Jim just makes me so happy. Any ideas? 4 comments|post comment

Earning trust back [18 Aug 2008|12:39pm] advice4teens [electricsheep59] So my parents caught me with some weed, then a few days later caught me taking a xanex out of my dads bottle. Needless to say they are flipping out, and are refusing to let me leave the house at, took my phone, all that fun noise. Where do I start to earn their trust back? I know what I did was wrong and I know I'm not going to do this stupid shit again and jeprodize my freedom, but they do not believe me. How can I get them to see this? I know I turn to drugs as an escape and for comfort when I feel helpless and I feel very helpless stuck in this house with two people that hate me now. Help? 5 comments|post comment

Boyfriends and guy friends and living situations... [18 Aug 2008|12:14pm] advice4teens [inaliel] A bit of background: Ryan: Currently, the boyfriend. Have been together for...almost 8 months. Zak: The guy friend. He likes me, I have an interest in him, and we flirt occasionally. Have known him since..January. Also work together at the school newspaper. Long story short: I fought my school to get out of campus housing, and won. I'm out. Now...I have no realistic place to live. I could live with my parents, but 1) it's not exactly a healthy place for me to stay, mentally, and 2) I'd be eating up whatever savings I have just on gas. One night, I was telling Zak about how I needed to find a place to live, how I wasn't sure I could pay for it all on my own, so on and so forth. He volunteered up his place for me to stay. It's about the same distance from school as my parents' house, but we could carpool on some days making the cost of gas much less. Then it turned out that I COULD afford an apartment on my own, so I asked Zak if he would like to get a 2-bedroom place so that he can crash there during the week instead of driving half an hour back to his house at like, midnight or whatever crazy time. So that's what happened. We're hoping to get a 2-bedroom place near school, and if not, I will be living with him. It is more for my sanity/health than anything. I do have some sort of feelings for Zak, but we've decided to not do anything about them (since the feeling is mutual). Zak, really, is harmless. If he wanted me to be his girlfriend, he would have me already, I guarantee it. Ryan, however, doesn't exactly like Zak because Zak has a thing for me. Ryan also knows that I'm looking into getting an apartment, but he DOESN'T know that regardless, I'm planning on living with Zak.  Ryan is CONVINCED that Zak only wants to get in my pants (I have a good sense about that sort of thing, and I'm almost positive that's not Zak's intention at all). Ryan won't move in with me--he enjoys living at home for free far too much, and besides, even though we get along great, we could never live together. We could have the biggest house in the world, and somehow it still wouldn't be enough space.  Ryan, though generally supportive, hasn't really..supported me at all in this one. When I was stressing out majorly over the finance part of an apartment, he just said "oh, well, don't worry. It'll sort itself out." When he knows damn well that for me, that doesn't work. I'm a doer, not a sit-back-and-wait-er. In fact, that's all he's ever said about this housing situation. Zak has been more than helpful, he's been a lifesaver. I never even asked for his help, either, me living at his house was totally and completely his idea. The problem? I don't know how to tell Ryan I'm living with the guy he doesn't really like. I'm thinking that the three of us should sit down  and talk it out  (and then Zak can tell Ryan that no, he's not trying to steal me away. Honestly, if Ryan and I broke up, it'd be me leaving of my own accord, not Zak stealing me away). My mom thinks that this is a conversation better had just between Ryan and I. But I really think Zak needs to be in on it too because he'd be living with me. What I DON'T want is a list of "house rules" to make Ryan feel better about it. Zak and I have handled ourselves well thus far, and living together would not be much of a problem for as busy as we are. We're even spending more money than we want to by getting a 2-bedroom. So..yeah. Help? How do I bring this up and not lose Ryan? I mean, Ryan will be leaving me in a year's time anyway due to him going off to graduate school, but I don't really want to lose him before I have to. I can't stop him from leaving me, but I would like to avoid it because 1) I care about Ryan a lot, and I'm kind of attached to him, and 2) Zak will feel absolutely HORRIBLE and guilty about it, and claim it's his fault when really it isn't. Thanks guys, sorry this was so long! 13 comments|post comment

Recovery from an eating Disorder [18 Aug 2008|04:31am] advice4teens [digidrama] I've suffered from anorexia since I was 13 (i'm 19 now). This year I finally adressed my problem- and opened up to my family. I've been in recovery for 4 months now- and the biggest hurdle for me was coming back to college. I'm at college now. I came up a week ealy to settle into my apartment. Unfortunately, being here - even with roommates- those thoughts have crept back into my head. Since I am without family support- and no therapists at the monment, I feel isolated. The last time I felt this way was 4 months ago... stuck at college... dying from my disorder. I'm so scared that I am not strong enough in my recovery to be up here at college alone. This thought scares me because, if my health fails me, I may have to leave college early and go home. It's only the second day being in my apartment and I already feel that things are different... Has anyone ever gone through recovery- from anything? Mental disorder- addiction... you guys can relate as well... trust me... 6 comments|post comment

unstable bf? [17 Aug 2008|05:46pm] advice4teens [1234heartily] So, my boyfriend is kind of "unstable"... not too uncommon among people our age, but still not a good trait. Today, for instance.  We had been planning to go to a shopping mall (he and I both wanted to go for specific things), then go running at night, which is a pretty typical day for us.  He also just bought a PS3 so he's been anxious to play that, so we'd also be going to his place to just hang and he can play games. So I call him when I'm free, but his tone put me off, because I could tell he just wanted to go back to his place and play videogames... in fact, he didn't even need to go shopping anymore, so it felt like I would just be dragging him along.  Long story short, we ended up not going out (I decided I didn't really need to go, either) but I explained to him why his tone made me feel that way, etc etc, and we apologized after I got all upset because I suppose you could say I've been feeling kind of unappreciated lately.  Nothing big though, it was just a feeling.  He's also been stressed about this guy on Ebay who he sold his old iPhone to & was worried he was getting ripped off and stuff. He worries a lot.  And stresses MAJORLY about everything. So he can always tell if there's something wrong, and today I just told him that I was having a bad day (once something puts me off, a whole flood of other negative feelings/memories comes along with it) and he pushed me to talk about it.  I asked him to go on a walk (which he did, grudgingly) and he wasn't friendly towards me at all, even while I was trying to explain to him my emotions about... life in general.  He even checked his watch once or twice. Anywho, he ended up turning it all around and telling me that I was stressing him out, this went on for about another 20 minutes, and he said that he just wanted today to not worry about anyone other than himself.  then he said that he didn't want me over anymore because with me simply being there he'd worry if I was having fun or I was happy, so on and so forth.  He got very, well, for lack of a better word, "crazy," complete with the look on his face and everything.  He didn't want me to help - I guess the best way to help is to just leave him alone - but it still made me feel awful.  It made me feel unwanted, even though I was willing to bend over backwards to relieve any stress possible.  He doesn't want me around and I can't help this terrible feeling.  I tried to even tell him that it wasn't him that made me upset today, which he just came back with, "well then why are you making me feel so guilty?!" and I even told him that the only reason I was upset with anything is because many emotions come back when something becomes an inconvienence... it wasn't him that pushed me to be emotional, it was just my position in life, basically. It even got to the point where I wanted to say, "It's always about you!  You always turn it around so the attention is on you!"  But I didn't, nor did I accuse him of doing anything wrong. If this had happened only today, that'd be one thing, but this has happened at least 5 times in the 2 years I've known him.  He just runs away whenever he gets too stressed out (most of which is over nothing big), offends people, and doesn't let anyone in. It's driving me insane (no pun intended).  I've never met anyone who has handled situation as bad as him... Trust me, it can get pretty bad.  It's even difficult to watch. Anyone experience this?  Advice on what I should/shouldn't do? thanks! 3 comments|post comment

[17 Aug 2008|12:08am] advice4teens [blah274] I don't know if anyone will be able to help me with this but here goes. So I've known this girl since 7th grade (I'm in 9th now), and I've always had to sit near her, but I've never felt comfortable around her. I always feel nervous when I'm near her. And then last year she told me she really disliked me, so it made this situation worse. But I've tried to deal with it. I have French class with her, but I don't have any friends in that class so I can't move anywhere that would make me feel better (because being in the same room with her bothers me too.) I think a couple reasons why I'm uncomfortable around her is because I feel like she knows that her boyfriend and I held hands while they dated. And also she does drugs and smokes, and seeing her makes me want to go and just do something like that but I know I'll lose my best friend; and that makes me feel like a poser in some weird way. (This makes no sense, but I don't know.) What I'm asking is how I can get over being nervous by her presence. 2 comments|post comment

Interview Questions! [16 Aug 2008|10:08pm] advice4teens [mich_ish] Here are some interview questions I've come across. I've only ever worked in retail, so they mostly pertain to retail store type questions...I have yet another interview tomorrow, so I thought I'd brush up while letting all of you in on some pointers! -Describe a time when you provided excellent customer service -Describe a time when you worked well in a team -Describe a time when you went beyond the call of duty -Describe a situation in which you solved a problem creatively -Describe a time when you worked under pressure and produced a positive outcome -Describe a time when you had to handle a fussy or upset customer -What is good customer service? -Why do you want to work for us? -What are your strengths? Weaknesses? -In three words (or more, sometimes) describe yourself as a worker -How would your previous employers describe you as a worker? -Why should we hire you? -Do you have any future goals (ie. school, university, college, careers, etc.) -Why did you leave your last job? -Did you ever have trouble worker with past co-workers? How did you resolve your problems? -How do you handle your mistakes? -What was your biggest accomplishment? (it's totally okay to use school achievements, awards, etc. It shows commitment and dedication) -What do you think makes a good manager? -What do you know about our company? -Tell us a little about yourself (keep it short and sweet! eg. where you go to school, what you aspire to be, hobbies that may apply to your job, etc) -What motivates you to do well at a job? Some fun questions I was asked were: -If you were a super hero, which one would you be? [A good answer to this one was Spiderman; because he has Spidey-Sense and can tell when something's wrong!] -If you were one food in the refrigerator, what would you be? [A good answer I heard was ketchup; versatile, simple, and everywhere you want it to be] Remember, Google is your friend! I found a few of these questions off a few pages that I Googled. It's very simple! Good luck to everyone who may have an interview in the future! And feel free to post any other questions I may have left out, or that you feel should be included. post comment

To quit or not to quit? [16 Aug 2008|07:07pm] advice4teens [mindelay] I'm thinking about quitting my job, but I don't know how to go about it, or even whether I should. It's a chain coffee shop and I've only been working there since March (5 1/2 months), and it's my first job.. But I've never enjoyed it that much and I feel like it's not really worth it anymore, especially since I'd rather focus on studying. ( Reasons & rambling ) So basically, my options are: Stay & ask for 4 weeks off in a 6 week period, then work during summer.. OR Leave (how do I resign??). Even just writing this has made me want to quit more, but I'm worried they'll think I'm just leaving because my friend is. What should I do? 4 comments|post comment

Basic Accounts, India, and LiveJournal Inc. [14 Aug 2008|04:59pm] news [theljstaff] Development Goals and Basic Accounts Last week we updated our development goals for 2008. Generally we noted a number of cool enhancements and investments to LiveJournal that we are working on, including improved search, usability, and site development. We also wanted to let you know how we hope to accomplish all these things, and how we plan on paying for them. In order to accomplish our stated goals for this year and beyond, we need to increase the revenue gained from both groups of LiveJournal accounts: paid subscription accounts and ad-supported accounts. As of August 28th, all users will be able to choose to downgrade their account to Basic through their Manage Account page. Additionally, we will start showing advertising to visitors who are not logged in to LiveJournal when they are looking at Basic Account journals and communities. Basic Account users themselves will not see ads on any Basic journal or community while they are logged in to their account. If you want more information about this, take a look at our new post on lj_2008 where we outline our reasoning. Indian Flash Fiction Contest In other news, we are excited to tell you we've launched "Quick Tales" LiveJournal's first initiative for users in India, in celebration of India Independence day, August 15th. "Quick Tales" is a flash fiction writing contest in which we're partnering with Caferati.com, one of India's largest online literary communites. The contest's winners will receive some great prizes and it is open to anyone with a mailing address in India. We hope that users with an interest in Indian writing or just India will watch LiveJournal's india_writing community. That's where the finalists and winners will be announced, so keep an eye on it towards the end of September! If you're in India then enter the contest - if your story is slick and quick (under 500 words) then you could be the lucky winner! Meanwhile, back at LiveJournal Inc. We have updated and redesigned our corporate site. The goal of the redesign was twofold: first, to update the look and feel (Dystopia users will appreciate it!); second, we want to provide a destination for prospective employees, partners, and members of the press where they can access important information about the company. Kudos to our design team. 710 comments|post comment

Ex Boyfriend. [14 Aug 2008|06:30pm] advice4teens [milliemoo92] My Best friend is dating my ex boyfriend. I feel that your friends should never go out with your ex's. How can i get over this? I just want her to be happy. 9 comments|post comment

senior yearbook photos [13 Aug 2008|11:39pm] advice4teens [broken_0ne] [ mood | chipper ] [ music | bethoven's 9th. (just finished watching a clockwork orange lol) ] hey there, so i'm going to be a senior this year and we're taking our yearbook pictures on sept 2nd (which is orientation day for us, and the day i have to take a freshie around the school as her "big sister"). anyway my question is: i'm really not a great picture-taker. i don't smile properly (chalk it up to my lack of braces and slight insecurity), so i always look kinda sad in pictures. any tips on how to smile and not look like a cheap imitation of the cheshire cat? also, i'm really afraid of breaking out like the day before pictures and it not clearing up in time. any ideas as to how to zap zits fast? or, even, a great way to cover 'em up without looking like i'm wearing a pound of makeup? (the pictures are like an EXTREME closeup). and there are retakes, in case someone messes up badly, but they're expensive so i really want to get it right the first time... thanks in advance, everyone! and i hope you all are enjoying your summer :) 10 comments|post comment

[13 Aug 2008|10:55am] advice4teens [beatlelove927]  Is incresed paranoia common in your teens? I know your period can make you feel anxiuos, but its not that.... I've just been really worrisome lately 4 comments|post comment

[12 Aug 2008|04:36pm] advice4teens [from_helen]  I don't like how I look, I don't like eating in front of people, and have thought about purging a lot (but haven't actually done it). Do I have some sort of eating disorder? 7 comments|post comment

Overreaction? [12 Aug 2008|10:55am] advice4teens [trafficked] [ mood | upset ] So last week I started band camp with hopes of being on competition block (traveling group for state and such). The results for first cut were posted on friday and I went to go see if I made it just to find out I didn't. I asked my director why I didn't make the cut and he said it was because of past absences. He didn't even know why I was absent (I was in the HOSPITAL) and I had only missed class rehearsal and ONE football game. I was okay with it because I knew I was able to find a spot or take someone elses if I went to rehearsal the next day anyways. So the next day I went, and I got the spot of a girl who wasn't marching this year. I went through the whole day just fine but I was super-aware that my band director didn't really want me there. Yesterday I went again for regular rehearsal. It was a rainy morning so we spent maybe an hour inside while it rained. We still did lots of marching inside. I went back after lunch for sectionals only to find out that we were going to spend that entire time outside. I started to get dehydrated so I sat out for a bit to drink some water. After fifteen minutes of sitting out my band director called to me and told me, "This is why we don't want you on competition block." That really hurt because I had really wanted on competition block and then he just shot this in my face and I got upset. I went back to the sidelines and cried the rest of the rehearsal because I felt like he didn't want me in the halftime show or in competition block. I couldnt stop crying so I left early and I told my section leader I wasn't coming back for marching the rest of this year. At home I couldnt stop crying either and nothing could really calm me down. Now its only a 12 hours later and I already really miss band. I want to go back, but I know for sure I wont want to march and after what happened yesterday I'm pretty sure my band director wont want me back to even help out. What should I do? 5 comments|post comment

New Kid [11 Aug 2008|07:48pm] advice4teens [lunexca] Hi. So...I'm gonna be moving to a different state this year, which means a new high school for me. What I'm worried about is how I'm gonna make friends. See, I'm an outrageously shy person when I'm surrounded by people I don't really know. It's hard for me to open up to anyone except really close friends. I guess I'm not shy, but just self consious. I always worry about if what I say sounds stupid, so I just lose my voice. I totally don't act like myself around people I don't really know. So, well, I know I don't really have a specific problem, just worried about this new school thing. Any advice whatsoever would be gladly appreciated, tho. Thanks very much! :] Ps I'm gonna be a sophomore 4 comments|post comment

New Community [11 Aug 2008|05:13pm] advice4teens [amor_demi_alma] Hi All! I just created a community at glbtq_disabled . It's for members of the GLBTQQIA community to make friends and discuss being gay AND disabled in any way, be it physical, mental, learning, etc. Anyone, gay or straight or anything in between, is welcome to check it out and join. Be sure to tell your friends! Thanks, Caitlin 2 comments|post comment

[11 Aug 2008|02:15pm] advice4teens [teaforone] One of my best friends of almost six years has been dating a girl about 5 years younger than him since around september i'd say,and i was fine with giving them space not getting in the way because it was a new relationship. But i'm just tired,tired of him commenting mia via myspace and i comment back and no other replies afterwards,or he'll email me and i email back no reply,same thing for texting,or aim. We haven't hung out in almost a year now,let alone talked hardly at all. He would say oh we need to catch up and hang out,or we should go see a movie this weekend but plans we're never actually made like they used to before he was dating her. I mean if i'm in a relationship with someone i'd want to level out the time i spent with my friends and girlfriend/boyfriend not be so consumed by the relationship that i forget about everyone else even though i know it happens. Do i just wait it out or send him an email maybe? 7 comments|post comment

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