The lost art of being S.T.O.I.C.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-03-28T01:33:00

2004-03-28T06:33:42Z

CloudFA: kiss me
Xparadise DEUCEx: /kis
CloudFA: /lv

we're nerds.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-03-24T00:56:00

2004-03-24T05:57:22Z

So, because Chrismon doesn’t trust Kayla or Nicole with heavey machinery, I find myself doing spotlight for Chicago. Easy- Kinda. Stress free? More so than back stage work. Boring as all holy hell? You bet. Oh well, my main contribution to the show is my technical work, not back stage time. Finally finished painting that goddamn bar. I can sleep easy now.

Oh wait, I don’t sleep.

I’m not happy with it though, because the arms are fucked up. No one notices though, so hey, who cares?

The game today was crazy. We had no subs because we have 5 injured players, counting the forever benched kaylie and I. We were so much better than Central, but went into over time because we couldn’t finish, and it was inevitable, we ran out of gas and got beat for a few minutes after controlling 98% of the game. Gay. The reffs were horrible, and to highlight this point, one of the vance students bashed the linesmans rear window in with a bat.
My school is so fucking ghetto; even the suburban kids are criminals.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-03-23T21:50:00

2004-03-24T02:50:16Z

You are the color pink. As a beautiful and sweet
human, you are everybody's favorite person.
Healthy and energetic, you're often seen
spreading the happines. As an unusually
charming and sweet person, you're always ready
to comfort people who are down. You sympathize
with everyone, but not always yourself. Aside
from that, you are light-hearted and cheery.
And you make it your duty to make every cloud
have

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

I think I'm running a fever....

2004-03-21T00:45:58Z

Bah, I’m so tired.

A lot has been happening lately. It’s getting a bit overwhelming.
First, the game against North.

So I stood out in the rain for 4 hours, being the manager, and a committed one at that, I stayed for JV and Varsity even though it was a fucking monsoon. I was at the point where I was becoming numb to the whole soccer situation. I guess I’m just getting over it? Well, I thought I was anyway. What happened that day probably affected me more than anything I’ve ever seen. Kaylie went down; slid, twisted, fell in an oh-so familiar way. Blafield sent me into the training room to give her “girl company” (wtf?) so I go in and shes laying on the table with her leg all iced up with frank and philip examining it.

For those of you who do not know, kaylie is the girl who tore her left acl and spent all last year working her ass off so she could play again. She’s kind of been my inspiration.

So, Philip does the lock mans test on her right knee, and the entire component moved with him. He was 98% sure she tore her ACL. She hears that and starts crying hysterically, the kind of tears that are hard to understand unless you’ve shed them. Her mom started crying, I started crying.

It’s so hard to work through something like that. The surgery, the therapy. And now she has to do it again.

That really made me think, and I couldn’t stop crying because I couldn’t stop seeing myself on that table one year from now. I would break if that happened to me. She went to see dockery yesterday, and he told her that she tore her MCL and her ACL and maybe has meniscal damage. Do you realize that this is probably the end of kaylies career? Soccer, running, all of it.

So I’ve made my mind up. I’m not even going to try to play this school year. Just train and train and train. I’m not even sure if I’m going to do co-ed this summer. It’s not worth the other knee. When I come back, I will be ready.

I had other issues I was going to talk about, but thinking about kaylie made me depressed enough. So instead I will tell you my day.

I woke up at 9 and went to the theatre to help chrismon and steven make the set for Chicago. I’ve never worked so hard on something in my life. I spent, what, 7 hours there just drilling and painting and cutting and sawing. Tech theatre rules. My hands are destroyed though. But I worked really hard and steven and chrismon were really glad I was there, so it was worth it. Steven said I’m going to be “Mistress scenic painter” and “assistant scenic designer” on the program. Im really sick though, so I was feeling like shit by the end and steven kept asking if I was ok. Finally I went home and I feel sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo bad right now. Sore throat, stuffy head, runny nose. Blah.

Oh yeah, chrismons staying next year, OMGYAY. I love him, he’s my favorite teacher, he can’t leave. I need him to write my recommendation next year, dammit. He said hes going to make a “seasons committee” that he wants me to be in where we read scripts and pick the ones we use. I feel like running for an office in drama club next year, but it’s hard enough being the president of dps. Oh well, at least I know that next year we can use the theatre for symposiums. We weren’t allowed to this year so we haven’t had one, and I’m very unhappy about that.

Any way, I’m about to go out with Daniel. And by out I mean his room so I can recover from my illness in comfort.

Ja

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-03-15T00:55:00

2004-03-15T05:55:57Z

Damn, its the weirdest feeling to shave over the front of my knee where I can't feel anything...

Soooooo relieved.

2004-03-12T06:13:53Z

Here is the low down:

I, Jillian Caitlen Summers, am not going to prom.

(Ducks from tomato thrown by shayna.)

Here is why:

I wanted to go. I honestly did. I wanted to dress up and be romantic and slow dance and have fun.

That will not happen at the Vance High School prom. Our school is so fucking ghetto, only (bad) rap and (bad) r+b will be played--Music I have no fucking idea how to dance to and honestly do not want to dance to. Were you all aware that the only slow song played last year was R. Kelly, Feelin' on Your Booty? The very thought of being in a place like that with people basically having sex in front of me makes me sick. I was trying to block that part of prom out before, but now I can not deny it. That alone is enough to make me not go. But also...

Pretty much five days before prom is Daniels 18th birthday. As you all know, he does not want to go. Be he was going to for me. His parents were going to make his entire 18th birthday his prom ticket. Everything else he would have to pay for. He was literally sick because he was going to have to waste so much money on something he knew he wasnt going to enjoy. He cant waste money. Hes trying to save to move out and pay for college (which he is receiving no help on, family or otherwise) and his parents arent letting him have a job right now. He would have been miserable, broke, and having to accept that misery as one of his most important birthdays.

How fair does that sound to you?

not to mention that weekend or so is the anime convention that daniel and i both ACTUALLY really WANT to go to and know we will have FUN.

Here is what will go down:

Instead of the prom, Daniel and I are still going to get dressed up and take pictures and everything. Then my parents are giving us money to go to a REALLY nice restaurant. We will have a lovely night and return home to an empty house ( as my parents will get a hotel room) and travis and courtney (another anti-prom couple) will come over and we'll have a mini party for daniels 18th. We'll have a shit load of fun, they may sleep over, maybe not, and daniel and i will fall asleep cuddled next to eachother.

Can I explain to how much happier daniel is now? He's been calling me the greatest girlfriend ever etc. Why did I ever not think of this?

Also, the money that was going to be wasted on the prom tickets will go to the anime convention so we can stay over night in a hotel room and buy LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS of anime.

The end.

Please direct your complaints to jilldoesntgiveashit@hotmail.com.
kthxbai.

FUCK

2004-03-05T04:24:52Z

I can't fucking take this. It's only been one game and I can't handle it.

I'm not made to sit and watch people do a job I could do ten times better. I'm not able to not sweat. not run, NOT PLAY!

I felt like breaking down the whole time. One word from someone and I would have snapped. I'm fucking snapping right now.

Soccer is the goddamn defining aspect of my personality, without it, IM FUCKING NOTHING. IM THE GIRL ON THE BENCH GETTING WATER AND PUTTING UP FLAGS. IM NO ONE.

It's a fucking high to play. its the best drug I could ever take, being in tune with the grass and the ball AND I LOST IT.

I dont know what the hell im going to do.

you know,
I would have gotten defender of the year four years in a row.

i dont think i can handle this depression for an entire season.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-02-29T02:30:00

2004-02-29T07:35:16Z

I just joined this rating community Contrary_beauty and I loved their survey, so I thought I'd post it...

Basics:
Name: Jillian
Age (Minimum 16): 16
Location: Charlotte, NC
Occupation: Student/Poet for hire

About you:
Describe yourself in one word: Thesjockpian
What makes you you?
Well, it's a combination of things, really.
You could look at my material items- My anime collection, my cd collection, my book collection, my clothes, my walls.
Or you could look at my social group- My best friends, rockstartobe, quasi_stellar. My soulmate that I was lucky enough to find before I was too horribly scared by false love and aggressive priks. (Literally.)
Or you could look at all the attributes that I will some day write down on a college application- President of the Dead Poets Society, Drama Club member, editor of the school newspaper, MECA 8 regional allstar for varsity soccer, Defender of the year, Charlotte United Futbol Club u17 MVP, my grades, my class rank and any other frivolous thing I can think of that won't make any difference in 6 years.
Or you can look at the fact that everyday I wake up telling myself how lucky I am to have all the things I have and were able to obtain, all the things in the previous categories, and remind myself NEVER to fucking waste it.
You can pretty much take any one of those into consideration and find the same resulting answer- Some variation of the girl I see in the mirror every day.

What pisses you off? People who think think something is wrong because that's what people tell them, not because it's what they feel in their hearts. I had a huge rant prepared about a woman who is friends with my mother and believes she is a bad parent because she gives my boyfriend and I so much freedom. And while, yes, her daughter follows her strict curfew, but also lies to her every weekend and instead of sleeping over at that bestfriends house, goes and gets drunk with her college drop out boyfriend. Oh yeah, wonderful parenting.
But what I really hate about the scenario is that my mother actually starts doubting herself even though she I've never lied to her and she is very aware of my relationship.

IN SHORT: Grow a back bone, grow a spine, and don't do something because its the correct thing in society. Society is more corrupt than human nature, so stick to yourself.
::phew::

Favourite bands or musical genres: Rage Against the Machine, The Chemical Brothers, Fatboy Slim, Beck, Bright Eyes, A Perfect Circle, Basement Jaxx, MSI, Atari Teenage Riot, Pitchshifter, Garbage. I like different stuff... anything from punk, techno, rock, folk, ska... whatever.
Favourite Movie(s): Braveheart, Snatch, Lock stock and two smoking barrels, Requiem for a Dream, I just saw the Virgin Suicides and dug it, American Beauty, The Last Samurai.
Favourite Book(s): The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy trilogy, Animal Farm, Perks of Being a Wallflower, American Gods, Romeo and Juliet, Hooray for Diffendoofer Day!
Favourite fruit: Apples, no contest. So versatile.
Favourite scent or perfume: My boyfriend's deodorant. Maybe because it reminds me of him, maybe because it's on all his clothes, maybe because it's built to make me want to sex him up. Which ever, I love it.
Your best feature or asset: I like my eyebrows. I used to hate them but then I saw that everyone else plucks theirs to the point of killing the poor hairs. I like their shape... even if everyone thinks it's a masculine shape.
Your biggest insecurity: I'm really pale... not because I'm a shut in or anything, I just don't tan. But I've kind of gotten used to the jokes. I guess I'm really insecure of my presidency of DPS. I want to do a really good job, and when people make fun of the club, I take it really personal.
Your biggest fear: Being blind. I can't even imagine it.
Your religion and why: To make my life long debate over logic, faith and big bang/darwinism vs an all powerful god short: I am non religious because I feel no love for a god in my heart. Maybe one day I will find faith, maybe not. I'm keeping the possibility open.
Your role model and why: Maria Montessori. I went to a Montessori private school for 12 years and I really know a lot about her. She was a pioneer for all women. For example, she wasn't allowed in a Italian medical school, so she studied human anatomy at the morgue until she was allowed in. She was the first female to graduate. She also created the first schooling philosophy based on the needs of the child and their personal development. It's ingenious and the only reason I am the person I am today. Public school "sink or swim" mentality has nothing on her. She's an amazing person, and I can only hope to one day have a mind and heart as beautiful as hers.
4 Turn ons: Martial Arts, Full, pouty lips, the mind of a Renaissance poet, and a built neck/shoulder line and back (means he is strong enough to pick me up and carry me around while I giggle and yelp until he kisses me quiet.)
4 Turn offs: Racism, narrow minds, football... it just won't work out, spoiled brats who have everything given to them and think their a good catch because they have expensive cars and their college all nice and paid for.
Describe your clothing style: I used to make all my clothes and I guess you could say I looked really "punk." I still wear some of those clothes, but I got tired of re-safety pining everything, and I got sick of the stereotype...I wasn't trying to make a statement, I just couldn't find anything at the stores that fit me or that I liked. These days, my boyfriend tells me my style has become more "sophisticated." I mostly wear baggy/cargo-ish pants and tight shirts I find at consignment shops or on clearance at the mall. Some band shirts, and I dig button down/collared shirts cause I can flip up the collar and be cool like that. I wear these cobalt blue vans and black and white spats. Either that or my "Nice" brand shoes that look like navy knock off adidas. I'm tomboyish, but kind of not... I guess I look like a little bit of everything. I don't usually mess with my hair, just dry it and let it love me, if it's in the mood. I wear a shit load of eyeliner though, without it I look SOOOO pale.
Special talent: Hmmm... I'm pretty good at making others feel better, sometimes at my own expense. I guess I'm good at breaking things down to a bare absurdity so that people feel ok about their situations. My friends come to me a lot for help. I'm pretty good at public speaking and talking to perfect strangers. I guess thats a talent because all my friends praise me for it.
Do you smoke or drink? I have gotten drunk before. It was alright, I feel like it's not a big deal if you're at home and with people you can trust. I don't smoke because I need my lungs. I stopped caring if others do it, they won't listen anyway.
Piercings and/or tattoos: My ears, other than that, none. I can't stand a lot of jewelery, so I don't see the point. I'd probably take it out after a month because it was annoying me. My dad and I are going to get matching tattoos when I graduate from high school. Well, kind of matching- Mine will be an Asian dragon on my lower back (like Kabuki, if you're a david mack fan) and his will be a celtic dragon. I might get my sisters name somewhere in Gaelic. (She died of Downs)
Pets: I have a dachshund, Rusty. We didn't name him, got him at the pound a year ago. Had we named him, he would be LOTHAR king of the woodlinds. He's our...7th dachshund.

Just a little more:
What are your thoughts on homosexual relationships and same sex marriages?
Love is love. Had my boyfriend been born a girl, I would be a lesbian. I think that same sex marriage should be legal because it's just that-a matter of law. It's not like a baptism, you can't break it down to a purely christian thing.

Future goals and aspirations (try to be original): I want to own a vespa, go to college in UNCA, live with my boyfriend off campus. Graduate, get a job where I can make advertisements people laugh at and thing "damn that was good", write a novel on the side. Get said novel published. Marry said boyfriend. Buy an old house off his networking job in some huge corporation where he plays computer games all day so he comes home happy every night. Have a daughter named "Anna Mae", travel somewhere beautiful while shes just a child. Maybe have a son named "Nigel John" (he can go by john if he hated Nigel), help husband set up his Dojo, grow old with him and continue loving him as much as I do now. Get more books published. Be a good mom, be a good wife.
ENJOY LIFE. And in the end, go back to Charlotte and dance on my grandfathers grave for everything he did to my mom. Then slow dance on my mother in laws grave. Oh yeah, and keep a healthy love life.

What do you think of Capitol punishment (the death penalty)? I feel like sitting in prison is more of a punishment. A killer is probably so deluded that dying won't faze them. 50 years of sitting in the same room will. Plus, if the person really is innocent, they may be able to prove it and save themselves.

What are your views regarding the religion of Islam and their treatment of women? I don't know if I can really touch this... religion is something they feel, and if the women feel it is the right thing to be discriminated because that is what is said by their belief system, then so be it. I actually think that they have a very interesting religion that enforces good standards, like the 5 pillars. Also, the faith states that the man should take care of the woman.
"Treat women kindly. Woman has been created from a rib (the rib is crooked) and the most crooked part of the rib is in the upper part. If you try to straighten that rib, it will break, and if you leave it as it is, it will remain curved. So treat women kindly." (Bukhari and Muslim)
I think that the Muslim faith is in itself, good. But people have abused it and taken it to extremes it should not be taken. Yes, woman are basically possessions. But according to the prophets, they are like sacred possessions. If they are abused, that is the fault of the human, not the faith.

How did you hear about this community (i.e. if you were invited or directed by and advertisement)? Invited
Where did you promote this community to (please link us)? parakiss

What’s the special word? banana

Anything else? 42.

And I encourage you all to go out and sound your barbaric YAWP.

And about my pictures... I have say, they aren't the best. I don't have a web camera at the moment so most of these are me no make up, quite grundy taking care of my wisdomteethless boyfriend. Lets just say, I wasn't prepared to be photographed. But, this community is about personality too right?

And I loved this survey. Questions you can actually have fun answering. ^^.

Pictures here please:

Hmm... my weekend was pretty good. Daniel slept over on thursday and we watched donnie darko and I was utterly confused... then I slept over there friday night and played on the computer all day. Came home, had a four hour lecture, and went to the mall with shayna, lauren, courtney and Katie.

I'm really glad they called me to do something or I would have spent the whole night inside dwelling on my parents and a lot of other things I don't need to obsess about and get my self down on.

It was a lot of fun, got a new shirt.

Mk, well, I feel like either writing poetry or going to sleep, but my sheets aren't on my bed yet....so... poetry.

Gotta get up kind of early sunday to clean before me and daniel go eat lotus and go out shopping...
later.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-02-26T15:34:00

2004-02-26T20:34:32Z

editing my journal, bear with.

Love is real.

2004-02-26T20:15:04Z

I had almost forgotten the taste of your lips
A horrible flavor of frozen fruit
From that rancid gum you always chew,
And had made me addicted to.
We were standing outside
shivering from the heat of each other's eyes
And the wind that cat-footed around us
afraid of breaking our consentration.

Is this what happens when lovers quarrel?
When they defy the laws of passion,
and succumb to their flawed human nature?

I let my thoughts dither from the emotions coursing through me
And I began to wonder if snow was really making an appearance
I shook stronger in accord.
Out of instinct alone, I gaze at you.
My eyes trying to stay neutral
trying not to show my anger
trying not to show my love
trying not to show my need for your arms around me
trying not to show my regret.
Showing nothing,
But smeared eyeliner.

You had tried to leave once before,
walking out the door then stopping a foot away.

I had followed.
You knew i would.
We never leave upset
We always forgive and forget.
Because we're real,
Not those melodramatic teenage romances,
We're real.

Upon thinking that, I swallow my pride.
I show a little of that need,
I shine a little of my apology
And you wrap your arms over my body
Crushing me against your shirt.
And we forgive and forget together.
We remember why we love each other
What makes us both so different,
and we forget our petty argument
as you kiss me softly in the cold, abusive air.
And i can't feel the anger.
I can't feel the sadness,
Only the taste of frozen fruit,
and your hands on my waist.

Love is real.

washing myself in organized words to help forget last night.

my decay

2004-02-24T03:44:14Z

so i went to the knee doctor the other day...

and he told me a lot of great news.

since ive worked so hard at therapy, I'm a month to two months ahead of schedule . and my leg is stronger than my unhurt leg.

after i passed my strength test, cherel was like "You can only run at therapy, on the tread mill, for a small amount of time, for two more months"

yeah, my doctor said that not only can i run outside and on the track, but i dont even have to go to therapy anymore.

do you realize how fucking GREAT this is??

this is my life being handed back to me. On a silver platter no less.

so now, i have to work out like everyday, which is wonderful because i did that anyway before i tore it and i can run after school with daniel. And in a month, i can start working on soccer conditioning at the epi center with a personal trainer. At that point, i can start practicing non-contact with my school team.

when im done with that, after like a month tops, i can play contact again.

I can play at the last part of the season...Im going to be on the team again.

I guess thats what a shit load of effort can get you.

two more months and i will be building myself back up to be the player i used to be. and JUST in time for club try outs too. (well, yeah, i already made the team because i was the mvp last year, but hey... i should at least go.)

god, when i left the docters office, i felt 4324 times more lighter because so much stress and pain had been lifted.

fucking take that, blafield. can't play goal cause she'll hurt herself my ass.

on another note, a less happy note, ive been a rollercoster lately. daniel and i had another epic battle about prom. this time it got pretty bad and we both said things we didnt mean. needless to say, i was really upset and couldnt sleep that night, so i went to school with about one and a half to two hours to my name. My stomach was cramping really bad too because i ate 8 dollars worth of shit at mcdonalds a few days before and was just now digesting it. Oh yeah, and because i was so caught up with the prom thing, i didnt study for this huge test in us history ap.

So i get to school and i see daniel, and I almost started crying because i really love him and i hate it when we fight. he was in a lot of pain last night too and i cant stand the thought of that. we silently hold on to eachother while we slowly walk to class with rachel, then we realize shes crying. So daniel says if he takes her home, hes not coming back. I couldnt make it through the day without him, i was way to raw and unsettled. So i figure fuck today.

And i skipped for the first time in my life.

Im not really proud of it, i don't like missing school. I dont like falling behind. I missed three weeks because of my knee, after trying to recover from that, i see NO point in skipping. i mean, i go to school sick as hell and with no sleep. thats just a common occurrence for me. but ive never tried to go to school that emotionally wrecked before (well, save for last day of school last year... but that a huge difference) Im not an emotional person... he brings that out in me.

Well, we took rachel home, and her mom got her a doctors appointment. then me and him went back to his house. God... after just five minutes of talking to him and having him hold me and stroke me.. i felt reborn. We talked for a while on his bed, it was beautiful... then we took about a three hour nap that i needed horribly. we got up and he cut his hair and i ate some chicken. and hung out for a while.

then he took me to school and i talked to lauren.

yeah, i hate it when people make assumptions about my actions with NO reasoning and NO clue as to what the fuck was going on. I didnt go to his house to have sex. Sorry, I can do that in my free time. So next time, try to have a little bit more faith in me, because that's really not fair.

Anyway, then he took me to my moms classroom and i of course told her right away, because i really wasnt trying to get away with anything. She was upset at first, but more concerned i guess. I didnt get in trouble.... i cant say i ever really have... she even said she wouldnt tell dad, so thats cool. i guess being a perfect student for so long, i have some built up fuck-ups i havent used yet.

Oh well, that was my day. I really enjoyed being with daniel. i really didn't enjoy missing class. Take that as you will.

Im just glad we're both ok now.

Prom is stupid for luring girls in like that. : /

stolen from nicole ^__^

2004-02-21T17:58:53Z

RULES:
1. Put your birth month in an entry.
2. Strike out anything that doesn't apply to you.
3. Bold the four that best apply to you.
4. Put all twelve months under a livejournal cut.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. ~~Polite and soft-spoken.~~ Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. ~~Hesitating~~, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. ~~Easily hurt.~~ Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. ~~Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt~~. ~~Brand conscious~~. Executive. Stubborn.

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Ambitious and serious. Loves to teach and be taught. Always looking at people’s flaws and weaknesses. Likes to criticize. Hardworking and productive. Smart, neat and organized. Sensitive and has deep thoughts. Knows how to make others happy. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Rather reserved. Highly attentive. Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds. Romantic but has difficulties expressing love. Loves children. Loyal. Has great social abilities yet easily jealous. Very stubborn and money cautious.

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts. Loves reality and abstract. Intelligent and clever. Changing personality. Attractive. Sexy. Temperamental. Quiet, shy and humble. Honest and loyal. Determined to reach goals. Loves freedom. Rebellious when restricted. Loves aggressiveness. Too sensitive and easily hurt. Gets angry really easily but those not show it. Dislike unnecessary things. Loves making friends but rarely shows it. Daring and stubborn. Ambitious. Realizing dreams and hopes. Sharp. Loves entertainment and leisure. Romantic on the inside not outside. Superstitious and ludicrous. Spendthrift. Tries to learn to show emotions.

MARCH:
Attractive personality. Sexy. Affectionate. Shy and reserved. Secretive. Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic. Loves peace and serenity. Sensitive to others. Loves to serve others. Easily angered. Trustworthy. Appreciative and returns kindness. Observant and assesses others. Revengeful. Loves to dream and fantasize. Loves traveling. Loves attention. Hasty decisions in choosing partners. Loves home decors. Musically talented. Loves special things. Moody.

APRIL:
Active and dynamic. Decisive and hasty but tends to regret. Attractive and affectionate to oneself. Strong mentality. Loves attention. Diplomatic. Consoling, friendly and solves people’s problems. Brave and fearless. Adventurous. Loving and caring. Suave and generous. Emotional. Aggressive. Hasty. Good memory. Moving Motivates oneself and others. Sickness usually of the head and chest. Sexy in a way that only their lover can see.

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted. Strong-willed and highly motivated. Sharp thoughts. Easily angered. Attracts others and loves attention. Deep feelings. Beautiful physically and mentally. Firm Standpoint. Needs no motivation. Easily consoled. Systematic (left brain). Loves to dream. Strong clairvoyance. Understanding. Sickness usually in the ear and neck. Good imagination. Good physical. Weak breathing. Loves literature and the arts. Loves traveling. Dislike being at home. Restless. Not having many children. Hardworking. High spirited. Spendthrift.

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision. Easily influenced by kindness. Polite and soft-spoken. Having lots of ideas. Sensitive. Active mind. Hesitating, tends to delay. Choosy and always wants the best. Temperamental. Funny and humorous. Loves to joke. Good debating skills. Talkative. Daydreamer. Friendly. Knows how to make friends. Abiding. Able to show character. Easily hurt. Prone to getting colds. Loves to dress up. Easily bored. Fussy. Seldom shows emotions. Takes time to recover when hurt. Brand conscious. Executive. Stubborn.

JULY:
Fun to be with. Secretive. Difficult to fathom and to be understood. Quiet unless excited or tensed. Takes pride in oneself. Has reputation. Easily consoled. Honest. Concerned about people’s feelings. Tactful. Friendly. Approachable. Emotional temperamental and unpredictable. Moody and easily hurt. Witty and sparkly. Not revengeful. Forgiving but never forgets. Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things. Guides others physically and mentally. Sensitive and forms impressions carefully. Caring and loving. Treats others equally. Strong sense of sympathy. Wary and sharp. Judges people through observations. Hardworking. No difficulties in studying. Loves to be alone. Always broods about the past and the old friends. Likes to be quiet. Homely person. Waits for friends. Never looks for friends. Not aggressive unless provoked. Prone to having stomach and dieting problems. Loves to be loved. Easily hurt but takes long to recover.

AUGUST:
Loves to joke. Attractive. Suave and caring. Brave and fearless. Firm and has leadership qualities. Knows how to console others. Too generous and egoistic. Takes high pride of oneself. Thirsty for praises. Extraordinary spirit. Easily angered. Angry when provoked. Easily jealous. Observant. Careful and cautious. Thinks quickly. Independent thoughts. Loves to lead and to be led. Loves to dream. Talented in the arts, music and defense. Sensitive but not petty. Poor resistance against illnesses. Learns to relax. Hasty and trusty. Romantic. Loving and caring. Loves to make friends.

SEPTEMBER:
Suave and compromising. Careful, cautious and organized. Likes to point out people’s mistakes. Likes to criticize. Stubborn. Quiet but able to talk well. Calm and cool. Kind and sympathetic. Concerned and detailed. Loyal but not always honest. Does work well. Very confident. Sensitive.Thinking generous. Good memory. Clever and knowledgeable. Loves to look for information. Must control oneself when criticizing. Able to motivate oneself. Understanding. Fun to be around. Secretive. Loves sports, leisure and traveling. Hardly shows emotions. Tends to bottle up feelings. Very choosy, especially in relationships. Systematic.

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who loves them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn’t pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care of what others think. Emotional. Decisive. Strong clairvoyance. Loves to travel, the arts and literature. Touchy and easily jealous. Concerned. Loves outdoors. Just and fair. Spendthrift. Easily influenced. Easily loses confidence. Loves children.

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas. Difficult to fathom. Thinks forward. Unique and brilliant. Extraordinary ideas. Sharp thinking. Fine and strong clairvoyance. Can become good doctors. Dynamic in personality. Secretive. Inquisitive. Knows how to dig secrets. Always thinking. Less talkative but amiable. Brave and generous. Patient. Stubborn and hard-hearted. If there is a will, there is a way. Determined. Never give up. Hardly becomes angry unless provoked. Loves to be alone. Thinks differently from others. Sharp-minded. Motivates oneself. Does not appreciate praises. High-spirited. Well-built and tough. Deep love and emotions. Romantic. Uncertain in relationships. Homely. Hardworking. High abilities. Trustworthy. Honest and keeps secrets. Not able to control emotions. Unpredictable.

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous. Sexy. Patriotic. Active in games and interactions. Impatient and hasty. Ambitious. Influential in organizations. Fun to be with. Loves to socialize. Loves praises. Loves attention. Loves to be loved. Honest and trustworthy. Not pretending. Short tempered. Changing personality. Not egoistic. Take high pride in oneself. Hates restrictions. Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. Logical.

suck it

2004-02-20T04:23:03Z

hey yo.. finally a night without homework so i can actually write something

CURRENT THINGS THAT ANNOY THE FUCK OUT OF ME:

1) daniels mother is an idiot. be it be known. i wish there wasnt humanity in the world so that social darwinism would just take care of her. oh well. hes only there for three more months.

2) Lately i've been hearing a lot of crap about "chicks over dicks" and "bros before hoes". seriously, thats probably the most fucking retarted thing i've ever heard. look, i know you have to limit yourself and spread yourself out, and im going to start trying to do that, but think about it this way: how many people actually stay friends with half of the people they go to high school with? a very select few. But on the other hand, i have someone i know im going to be with for a very long time. are you trying to tell me i should make my superficial friends more important than him? Riight. (this doesnt apply for everyone...((S and L)) by the by.)

Im not going to lie, he is the most important person in my life, and rightfully so. if you cant understand that, sorry, but you dont really know what its like to be in love. im so sick of that lately. the more and more i hear people say how much they love someone and then go abuse the word, and break up the next week. it makes me physically ill.

i know i need to make time for my important friends. im trying. but you guys need to understand that lately, a lot of shit has been dealt with. everyone says daniels a different person now, well... that took effort and time. not only that, but my life hasnt exactly been something i could deal with on my own. sorry if i got wrapped up but, hey, i dont think my priorities are askew.

3) Class rank

WTF!

it can suck my dick.

bah, i dont mean to sound so bitter about it, i just dont think its very fair. im not saying this because i think im in the wrong rank, i got 24, im in the top 5% so im not going to argue, but its not valid at all. its wrong when someone like aurelia gets 80. just wrong. and there are people i know who should NOT be as high as they are. they cant understand something until its shoved up their ass, THEN they get it, and go home and study it for 3097422 hours. most of the top scorers are not well rounded at all. and i think its stupid to make this heiarchy of the best and the worst based basically on who has the smallest social life. I'll admit, this year, i could study a lot harder.

but freshman and sophmore? explain to me how you expect me to go to drama club meetings, conduct dps meetings, memorize lines for plays im in, then go to soccer practice every night till 9:30, not get home till 10:30, barely get all my homework done and still have time to study a ridiculous amount so i can get a 100 instead of a 93? because really, that was all last year was. the hour i got each night to do homework was devoted to wessler, which i really never fully finished so i spent all my english period doing it. im lucky shayna understood my stress and let me copy hers half the time or i would have exploded.

oh yeah, and people wonder why i never got to sleep before one.

this year hasnt exactly been much easier, i began on the same soccer schedual except worse because we had vic as our coach and we had everything basically doubled. i had larger roles in plays, more work to do in theatre, since i do tech now. and then i tore my acl and had knee surgery. you know. that can really kill someones drive to be the person they used to be. i couldnt study now if i tried. i think i gave up.

thats goes with 4)

god, you guys may never know how much my knee surgery has fucked up my life. i cant do anything when im depressed, and i cant shake it. today, i was at the soccer tryouts and i couldnt stop crying. i just... couldnt stop it. no one noticed, thank god, because they were playing. i just kept watching people cut and cross and move and run and i had this sick feeling in my stomach that i may never be able to do that the same way. and i kept watching kaylie and her knee brace, watching her knee look so... weak. i really dont think i can handle being manager. i cant even handle going to the tryouts. i feel like im being deprived of air... my entire life, at any given time, i was on a team. ive never not played. kaylie could handle it last year because she had only been playing 3 years. its a hobby to her. but it was my life. it was who i was, it was me. people still introduce me as "this is jill, she plays soccer" and i feel like a lier.

i went from being mvp, regonal allstar to...manager

i cant fucking do this.

i was ok until the season started. i think i surpressed everything until now and its all coming out at once. im getting to the point in my therapy where i can do more and i feel normal, but i cant because im not normal yet... its so cruel.

oh well..

anyway, so valentines. valentines was great, probably the best day of my life. Daniel came to pick me up, he look incredible. he was wearing this tight green short sleeve collered shirt that i had never seen before that matched his eyes and his hair and his pants that make his ass look great. his hair was all slicked back but still fluffy and he had on a hint of mascara. he took my countryside choker (the green circle with the tree imprinted in it on the thick green string) and he looked amazing. i was looking pretty snazzy too... those tight kakies (Sp) i have and that black lace tank top with my button down pinstripe collered shirt and my black and white spats. i looked pretty sessy. we looked sessy.

so yeah, we had kind of agreed that buying shit was stupid and un romantic, so he didnt get anything for me, i didnt really want anything. i couldnt really help it thought so i bought him a venus razor for his legs and wrote him two poems and a short story and gave him one of my drinking horns that he had talked about at the ren, festival and said "hey baby, im horney" he tied it to his belt and wore it all day, it was so cute. he loved the poetry and gave my the best hug and kiss(es) ever. my mom gave us 50 so we could have a good time w/o stressing about money since he just paid for all his car repairs.

we went to lotus buffet to eat, it was a lot of fun. then we went to the mall and i sat on the floor reading manga while he sat in the chair and braided my hair in books a million, then we read sex books. then we went into forever 21 and he picked out clothes that he thought would look really sexy on me, for like, only his bedroom (^^), and i tried them on for him. he bought me some silk pink underwear and lip gloss and we left to go get some dip-n-dots.

then, we went back to his house and daniel wanted to ask his dad if he would buy us some vodka. i was kind of scared at first, but i trust him so i went a long with it. we went to the abc store and he picked some out, and we went back to his house and i got drunk for the first time. daniels kind of an expert at liqour, not cause hes a drunk or anything, but more of a connosour. anyway, it was a lot of fun, we laughed a lot and just had a really good time. hes really cute when hes drunk. hes the person he would probably be if it werent for all the shit his mom has done to him over the years.

anyway, i slept over and woke up with a hangover. that wasnt too fun. he thought it was cute. we hung out for a little bit more and then i went to tremont to see farva. i feel bad that i was hungover at the show, because they did really well, but i was in a bad mood and had a headache the whole time so i bet shayna felt like i was being a bitch :/ you guys did awesome. then i bought a shirt and a cd and tried not to get lost in thought during silverfish. did merch for a while, then went to my grandmas for a small visit.

ugg, i wish i cold rewind and go back to this weekend. this week has been horrible. i havent gotten more than 3 hours of sleep each night. and soccer... god, and soccer.

got bearshear though, so ive been listening to nonstop techno.

i think im doing ok at ignoring the sadness in me right now. im just thinking about pointless things, good memories, and daniel, and it helps me move on. time has actually been passing pretty fast.

i think this week has sucked so much because i started doing homework again.

dps only had about 12 people at it, but you know what? it was fun. suck it.

im going to stop thinking about soccer now, this is getting too long.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-02-16T00:48:00

2004-02-16T05:49:35Z

since no one caught this the first time...gr...

fill out and comment if you love me, put it in yours and i will do the same

1. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it.
2. Am I lovable?
3. How long have you known me?
4. When and how did we first meet?
5. What was your first impression?
6. Do you still think that way about me now?
7. What do you think my weakness is?
8. Do you think I'll get married?
9. What makes me happy?
10. What makes me sad?
11. What reminds you of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do you know me?
14. When's the last time you saw me?
15. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?
16. Do you think I could kill someone?
17. Describe me in one word.
18. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger, weaker, or staying the same?
19. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen?

everybodys doin it....

2004-02-14T07:22:34Z

oh and he said hed go with me... i gave him good reasons. hes gunna try to get his paretns to pay. im gunna make him have a good time. so sorry kris, i cant take you to prom this year.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-02-08T19:45:00

2004-02-09T00:45:37Z

people have been strangly nice to me lately...

warm fuzzies:

1) Me n' leland talking about angie, his ex who hates him...

J: then why did you date her!
L: we used to be friends
J: friends does not equal good g/f, we proved that
L: different case - clearly im a dumbass, jill and the whole us thing would have worked had i not been a dumbass - even though your much happier now than you could have ever been wtih me

and for pretty much the whole day, he was talking about how i was "the one that got away" (jokingly)

I really really like me and lelands friendship now. It proves that post dating doesnt = friendship demise. hes a good guy. horney as all holy fuck, but a good guy.

2) NIcole imed me...

Satellite wishes: Do you ever just wish you could make everything better, for all your friends? I've been sitting here a while, and I was just thinking about everything and something that came to mind was.. "I wish I could help jills knee, I'd give her mine ;\ " i'm sorry-- rambling. arrgh.

I'm really glad i met her. shes so... amazing.

3) kyle villela...

yeah, so today at snatch rehearsal, the tho girls that we supposed to play the vegas hookers came out in costume in FUCKING UNDERWEAR. hot pink, lace, tiny, tight, fish net... etc.

Needless to say, me aurelia jenn... our self esteem wasnt too high as every guy in the room suddenly forgot they were in the middle of conversation with us. I didnt care too much,. i dont care if they notice me, but i did feel frumpy in my sweats and beater.

so later i was sitting with kyle and he was just like "I must say jill, you look very good today." and kyles pretty gentelmen like, so i know he wasnt hitting on me (he knows i have a bf), i think he just noticed me and aurelias uncomfortableness cause i was like "Yeah right... compared to them? ::laughs::" and he was like "they look ok, but id rather have you on top of my list."

hes another nice guy i'm glad i met. i like having guy friends when its established that nothing would ever possibly come of it. its... really easy. you can compliment without having to worry about hidden meaning.

i think hes dating alana. i hope he is.. shes really sweet, theyd be cute together.

4) me and katie henry had a really long conversation about friendship. and she kept saying how she loved me and missed seeing me and how i'm so much fun. i miss her so much too. I feel bad because jasmine used to tell me all this bullshit about her, and i believed jazz over katie, and i think i was mistaken, katie is a very giving person.

i wish i saw her more... : /

5) Mr chrismon asked if i would transfer to waddel (where hes gunna work) cause he said he really liked me and i had a lot of talent.

^___^ I guess i'm offically a chrismon baby.

there was more, but these were my favorites.

I've hada pretty good week.

oh yeah. ive gotten lots of compliments on my new hair cut.

so snatch was so great. the most fun i've ever had in theatre. we worked really hard and it paid off majorly, the play was almost flawless. I played ma pikey, so i had a pretty fun costume, all plaid and sex hair. i spent this entire week in the theatre for most of my classes building the set for leland. i got major credits in the program. Leland also gave me a special thanks in his bio for making him finish the script and supporting him and stuff. Im glad i got his ass to work, this was a great experience.

friday i was sposed ot have a doctors appointment, but i got there and we waited 2 hours...no doctor, so finally we just left. had the play. then i spent like 2 hours in the school parking lot with katie h. and this guy MJ. it was a lot of fun, we just stood and talked. i really do need to hang out with her soon. MJ invited us to a party the 20th, i think we're gunna go. then katie took me to daniels house, and i joined in on his lan.

saturday I went to the mall with shayna katie Blackmar and courtney slough. it was kind of an experiment with seeing how we could hang out together, being of completely differenet social groups. it was some of the most fun ive ever had with friends. i really love them. we ate at macados and then walked around. later me n shay went to her house and she styled my hair for a while, fun fun. after the play i went to daniels and we watched family guy. hes coming over soon to eat dinner with me while my families at my grandmas.

i'm having a pretty decent time of it.

report card:
(1ST quarter, 2nd, semester)

TECHNICAL THEATRE: A A A
ENGLISH III AP: B A B
NEWSPAPER: A A A
US AP: C D C
PRECAL: A A A
PSYCHOLOGY AP: B A B
PHYSICS: B C B
THEATRE II: A A A

4 as, 3 bs, one c.

not too bad considering i missed three weeks of school and had knee surgery...

gpa- 4.37

epp, daniels here.

_kiss_arashi_ @ 2004-02-08T16:56:00

2004-02-08T21:56:48Z

CloudFA: i wanna goof with you..
Xparadise DEUCEx: oh ill goof you good
Xparadise DEUCEx: ill mke you goof till theres no goof left in you
CloudFA: goofer

shall we send in ze germans?

2004-02-02T05:51:35Z

BLAHHHH

thats all i fucking have to say about this week.

Goddamn birthcontrol = goddamn drama.

yeah so it snowed an ass load and we got ass loads of free time, so i slept over at daniels and visa versa for three nights. that was fun. we played ragnarok and diablo a lot, watched a lot of anime, the first day of snow, we went over with andrew and morigan to david cox bus parking lot and did 360s and stuff with daniel and andrews cars on the ice. andrews so fucking psycho sometimes, on ever turn, he would deliberatly spin out and fish hook and shit and he was doing that on davis lake parkway, and his car fell down a hill and almost rolled into the lake. they had to get this huUUUUUge suv to pull out his huge suv. daniels car was perfect for it though cause its just a small, light two door. then daniel got his snowboard and we tied a rope to andrews suv and daniel rode on the back for a while. he looked SO hot doing it cause he was just wearing his
tight black shirt

. in the snow. and in the ice. he claims he was not cold.

Oh yeah, and we dyed his hair red. ^^. I'll get pictures soon.

yeah, the rest of this week was shit. fucking school. fucking blafield. fucking snatch. fucking dps meetings that never happen.

Friday i went to see farva and sf. farva did really well, i'm proud of my shay. yeah i didnt really wanna see silverfish... it just pulls up too much stuff i dont wanna think about... they were good, of course. liz head was piss ass drunk. that was pretty funny. daniel and i sort of indirectly got in a fight that night... but didnt really talk about it until the next morning when he picked me up to got to lotus. we were both mad at one another for being mad at one another... it was a sticky situation. but we ate lotus and watched excel saga. then today he came over and we watched snatch during the super bowl. he also posed for me so i could finish off a camera i had lying around. i cant wait to get the pics back...

I started my pills today. thank god, i hate those patches.

I have a months worth if any one needs em...

hmm... not much else to say.

oh yeah, therapy = monkey testicals.

oh, and heres a big FUCK YOU to people who try to analyse my fucking relationship and give advice that only fucks shit up more.

FUCK YOU and your FUCKING SPACE.

turn it side ways and shove it up your ass.

damn... im in a vulgar mood.

like everything else i shall blame it on birthcontrol.

whatever, laters.

join our AzN gang

2004-01-28T17:37:22Z

offical titles:

Lauren "Arigato" Foster: "donkey butt bitch tasting rice eating high officer foster japkiller bigL."

Jillian "BaKaYaRo" Summers: "krazy ass kamakazi bizznotch mutha fukin azn wh0re ass slutzor."

we will kill you in a blaze of pacific islander gunfire.

yo.

muahaha

2004-01-27T04:08:18Z

sex ontheradio1: cry me a river
Xparadise DEUCEx: then drown in it

::head explodes::

2004-01-24T22:47:48Z

this weeks kinda sucked... daniels been out of school and my teachers decided to give me th biggest loads of bullshit busy work, so everyday i've come home with massive migrains. therapy has, as well, sucked ass because duane bumped everything up way farther then i can really handle, so my knee is kind of fucked up and sore right now.

and damn, I really want to play. its been so long... i've never gone this long without playing. blafield came up to show off the new warmups the girls team is going to get... along with the new unies... and the indoor season...rightously gay. I wonder whos going to replace me as sweeper this year? they better watch out for when i get back... god, being manager is going to be so hard.

i'm really frustrated with dps this year. we havent had one symposium, and i cant do a thing about it because no one comes to the meetings and no one writes any more. I was writing an article about dps encouraging people to join, but half way through, i realized everythig i was saying was true about last year. shayna and i are really doing the best we can... why is it so hard to work around everything? If i try to have a symposium during the school week when the theatres open, shayna pitches a bitch because she has "so much" homwork that she cant spare two hours. if i try for a friday, mrs neilsen says she doesnt want to stay that late. when we finally work out a day (which means both of them are now at this point mad at me) i ask mr chrimon and he pulls some random stage-hogging show out of his ass for the day we plan it.

so fucking impossible. i want to avoid having them at peoples houses because the symposiums are "full school" things, not members only. and i'm sure some nice giving member who offers to host it doesnt want her/his address broadcasted over the school. i'm going to start looking into coffee houses. jacksons does a open mic thing every second tuesday or so, but i dont know if theyd appreciate a teenage take over. i thing i might just go anyway even if its by myself.

ah, oh well, i'm trying not to think about it... all clubs are sucking this year, not enough funding or options. i feel bad that the freshmen arent being given the same experience i was, becasue dps was so FUCKING godlike. its really depressing to think about it... they'll never have the right amount of appreciation for it now, and i guess thats understandable.

bah, stressss...

speaking of such, took the sats today... no idea how i did... we'll see... i think i did good on english, but yeah, suckzor at math.

well, daniels making me bleach his hair o_o... i'm gunna fuck up... he paid for my RO account so i'm gunna go to his lan tonight and kill me some tarus.

stress relieved.

i think its funny, at the sats, all the kids looked the same. its crazy how the same kids go to different schoools just in different bodies. i could have renamed them all will the kids from vance. crazy.

kk be back later

sexy ::faints::

2004-01-21T04:23:28Z

the other day we cut his hair. i did the back, i got kind of freaked out...

come on, you know you want to see the hottness...

That is his new hair cut... we havent dyed it yet, so it has the old "rust" color in it.

more new hair... hee doesnt have it gelled though, just wet.

this is what his hair was like a while ago, before the rust dye, after the dark red/black dye... this is what its gunna look like soon. you cant really see the back, but its short and spiked and sexy as all fuck.

me today, while i was taking care of him... not my best pic cause it has that "tired, pms, just had a shower and didnt brush hair, laying in bed all day" appeal... but, daniel wouldn't let me take a picture of his cute swollen cheeks :( .

lalala, more of me.

kk eyes hurt, miss daniel, school gunna suck, lonely, byenowk?bye.

<3 <3 (love for him, not for you.)

2004-01-21T01:16:29Z

I'm at daniels right now. I've been here since yesterday. yeah, hes doing great for someone who just got his wisdom teeth out, like once the meds started working he was out of bed and running around. we played diablo yesterday and watched gladiator, and spent the rest of the time cuddling and talking. he was very chipper, more so then i expected. we went to bed pretty early, he was tired from not sleeping in about 40 hours (cause of his lan) and i only got about four hours the night before and had really fucking hard therapy that day.

i had missed sleeping with him. its been, what, two weeks?

today we played more diablo with andrew and put up all the 5 BILLION posters on to his walls. looks godlike. i have no idea how, but we managed to fit pretty much all of them. (well... he managed, i just taped stuff...and badly too...)

hes playing final fantasy 11 right now while i looked up porn. moms coming soon to bring him some soup. not soon enough...

hmm.. back to school tomorrow... i didnt have any homework in my class save for us, but i always have it in us... i swear to god i failed that exam. the ap website is such bullshit, and all the teachers know it. its goingto be lonely tonight, i think i should go to the poet sanctuary and review some poems before they de-"forum moderator" me.

i really really wish my ragnarok online account was working. give me something to do tonight other then feel like a slacker for not reviewing 500 poems like DOR. she fucking lives on tps.

mk, well, soup and hot coco time soon.

lauren needs to shut up...

2004-01-19T07:18:00Z

lalala...

well, lauren feel asleep, and I dont reall yhave the heart to wake her up and explain that shes in her clothes still and like, you know, drooling all over my pillow. oh well, I have no qualms with sleeping on the floor. ^^

today was a pretty fun day for me...woke up and daniel picked me up, after he ate the breakfast my mom made for him (excuse me -- "us"). then we went to excerds to get thumb tacks/push pins and goodwill to see if that 17' moniter he wanted was still there. it of course was not. so, we went back to his house and hung out for a little bit, helped him put some of the posters up (we're redoing his room... I spent about a month finding anime posters for him and we spent all night the other day going through gamer magazines finding pictures. his walls are going to look so hella godlike.) eventually, shay came by to pick me up (after driving by his house a few times...) and we went to the mall. we were both in pretty girly moods, so we played our favorite game, "I dare you to try this on." ::holds up slutty outfit from charlotte russe::

it was a hell of a lot of fun ^____^

i missed bonding with her...

i miss the "I'm not worried about school and homework" shayna. summer, summer, summer....come faster plzz....

she was in a really good mood, I mean, goddamn, she bought me a shirt. a black lacey camisole, its cool because its nothing id ever wear, but it looks good on me. then she got this awesome suit thing at some trendy store and it was buy one get two free, so she let me get one of the free ones, so i got a puke green shirt... oddly enough, puke green looks really good on me. makes my skin tone look darker. then we got some lipgloss because it was tasty kind.

::puts some on::

mmm... black cherry.

Its weird, I've become really girly lately. Like, really different from my normal self. I grew out my nails, and I'm painting them now, and i bought feminine like clothes... oh well, I still fart and burp and stuff, so i guess i'm the same fun loving tomboy. (Can't let my boyfriend be more graceful and feminine then me, can i? ^_-)

anywho, then i came home and picked up lauren, and she's sleeping over right now. we didnt really do anything, like usual, but had a shit load of fun... like usual.

tomorrow I have to go to physical therapy really early... i have to start getting ready for my strength test where i can run again (hopefully.) then after that, Im going to go play nurse while daniel recovers from getting his wisdom teeth out... poor baby :( ... even if hes in a lot of pain, i know he wont say anything, so it will be hard.

hes having a lan party right now... i wish i could go, but my ragnarok online accont died, so i wouldn't have that much fun. my brothers there though, i bet they are destroying him.

I miss him...I hope his surgery goes well tomorrow.

i need to get my RO account working so i can go to his lan parties again. those were so much fun... (talk about being one of the guys... O.o ...)

anyway, yeah, i'm keeping lauren up and its two and i have to get up at like 9. night night.

my nails ownzor you

2004-01-19T06:24:09Z

hey yo.

I got a live journal because currently, I am on strike with melodramatic.com. cant fix their fucking image server my ass. annnywho, the real reason is because i want all of laurens seattle friends to think i'm swuave.

yeah, but shes sleeping over now, ja then.