I'm so weird [entries|friends|calendar] Kihaku [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

CONGRATS GERMANY! [Tuesday June 30th, 2009] [ mood | tired ] Germany's U-21 football team are the European champions for the first time in history! :D And with that are the reigning European champions in THREE age groups (U-17, U-19 and U-21), which promises good for the future. So happy to see Germany's kids finally play an actually good game. (Fun fact that they scored the same amount of goals in the final as in all the other games together. XDD) England played pretty much on the same level I've seen in the few matches I watched and finally got what they deserved: Completely humiliated by Germany. Not that I really have anything against England, but IMO they didn't play well against Finland and Sweden but ended up winning anyway, which made me kind of bitter. XDD The game against Sweden was the last straw.(And besides, some players getting themselves unnecessarily booked out of the final? Not that smart.) To England's credit: They did try until the end even when they clearly had no chance. Also before in the matches I've seen England used the few chances they had and took advantage of the opponents mistakes. In the final there were less of those and combined with the otherwise crappy playing against Germany's improved game? The teams were miles apart. To be fair, Germany was lucky to make it to the final as well, but at least they played relatively well every now and then(from what I saw). And with only one goal scored against them during the entire tournament I'd say that at least the defence was quite stellar. :)The final also showed some action up front and stronger and perhaps clearer individual performances (as well as the team together). I was especially happy that Mesut Özil was finally properly recognised. XDD (It's strange how our Finnish "experts" seemed to have forgotten about the two goals scored against Finland. Özil's doing. :) Not something I'd call "invisible", especially since setting them up is more of a chore than getting the ball in from a great spot. He was involved in over half of Germany's goals. Speaks for itself. :)) Also: congrats to Berg for winning the golden boot and scoring alone more goals than most of the teams as a whole. XDD Sweden was thus the most effective team when it came to scoring goals, so congrats for that as well. :) 2 happy summers | smile with me

Stuff and nonsense [Tuesday June 23rd, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | The Weather Girls - It's Raining Men ] Finland's U-21 national football team played their last match yesterday (in the UEFA U-21 championship) and although it was prob. the worst of all the games, overall I'm proud of our kids. Besides they made it to the 8 best teams in Europe, and countries like France, Russia, the Netherlands, Denmark and Portugal didn't; and lost to teams like England, Germany and Spain. (Honestly, I think they played better than England, but life's not always fair). Those countries have players that play in the big leagues like the Premiere League, La Liga and the Bundesliga, while most of Finland's players play in the Finnish league, but these facts didn't intimidate the Finnish team and even though they were down, they kept on until the end. Good going kiddos! :D And kudos to all the supporters for cheering the loudest till the end. Germany and England made it to the semis (rooting for Germany ;) ), and today we'll find out the other two countries. :) Doing some internet catching up, which is taking AGES. In addition to that, I've wanted to watch TV shows which I've missed and/or recorded, and many films I was supposed to watch, but didn't, so it's been a lot of lazying. I didn't realise how much I've actually missed. XDD I got the sudden urge to watch the Scream trilogy a few times, and other romantic comedies, because I'm in the mood for something light and funny. (Yeah, the Scream films aren't exactly romantic comedies... but they have comedy and romance... and lots of people getting killed... but it's not really that scary when you've seen it many times. XD Btw. Not sure what to feel about Scream 4.. I mean after 10 years? A lot depends on how they're going to deal with the characters I loved. I refuse to acknowledge the existence if they get killed or something) Reruns of Kommissar Rex!! Awesome. :D I loved that show when I was younger. It was prob. the only detective programme my Mum let me watch without resisting. There’s cute dog distracting from all the explicit and gruesome stuff. XDD Should do some studying soon, and uh.. arrange my room. :)It's amazing how quickly I can make a mess. *sighs*. Anyway. Here's a meme I did: ( meme: subjects ) Well.. that was some rambling. :D 9 happy summers | smile with me

Happy birthday, Germany! [Saturday May 23rd, 2009] [ mood | working ] Since my Dad is letting me use his comp for a short time, I can take a short break, ;) Firstly: Since it's 60 yrs since the founding of the Federal Republic of Germany: HAPPY BIRTHDAY! Also: Today was the day of the election of the new old president AND the last day of this Bundesliga season, so lots of stuff going on over there. :) Anyway: CONGRATULATIONS, VfL Wolfsburg! :D Although the league was so tight until the very end with so much at stake for many clubs, whether at the top or the bottom, with one game left to play three teams with a shot at the title, the top 4 didn't change, ;) Wolfsburg definitely deserved their first title EVER, so good for them!! Going down in history for many other reasons as well, like the most successful striker duo of all time. :D No matter who wins, it's great to see lots of ecstatic fans and players jumping around. :) (and the flags of Bosnia & Herzegovina, Brazil, Italy and Japan( ;) ) among the green and White of Wolfsburg. :) ) Bayern thankfully with their 2nd place qualify for the Champions League and Stuttgart with their 3rd place have a chance as well. (now I'd have loved to see the battle for those places...although since I like both clubs, my nerves might not have taken it. XDD) Hopefully the German clubs will make a better showing internationally next season! ;D (Not that this season was particularly bad. It just could be better. ;) ) That includes Berlin and Hamburg in the new Europa League. ;) Since I like all the clubs, I'm sad for any that is relegated, but on the other hand I'm hoping for Mainz to make it (back) to the 1st division... Hopefully I'll still manage to actually watch Bundesliga games, since we won't be having them here anymore next season... Well.. only on some pay channel. And it wasn't that long ago I actually found out that I could watch them here on TV. *sighs and prays for the net* I learned to adore the BL so much and this season was just so amazing that any other league pales in comparison. And I'm not biased. XDD Anywaay... there's still more football next week (CL final: Honestly I don't care who wins anymore, the FA Cup (+ the German Cup.. though not here on TV. :()) and then just more studying (which is pretty much my life for now...), so: Yay! :D EDIT: Mainz (with their  2nd place in the 2nd Bundesliga) made it (back) to the 1st division!!! YAY!! :D 12 happy summers | smile with me

Eurovision song contest 2009 [Sunday May 17th, 2009] [ mood | cheerful ] Breaking hiatus temporarily. :) CONGRATULATIONS, NORWAY!!! No big surprise, of course. :) Maybe just the fact that the victory was so crushing. The entry broke Finland's (Lordi's) record by almost 100 points. :) And was close to getting twice as many points as whoever finished 2nd (The race for the following places was tight. :) )To crown the fact at ALL the Nordic countries made it to the final, the top two finishers were from up here. :) (Congrats, Iceland!) and Finland was last... Heheheh.  We weren't expecting much though. :) Just happy to make the finals, rooting for Estonia(12 points! No surprise based on the positive feedback in the media :) ) and happy for neighbouring Nordic country Norway. :D Anyway.. with Norway being such a clear favourite and getting points from everywhere (and not just points, high points) I guess nobody can (or should) complain about friendly voting, politics and whatnot this year. And with UK's entry finishing 5th instead of at the bottom, THEY can stop complaining for once and realise that it's the song and not them being the UK that counts. :) Also honestly, even if the winning song doesn't  catch, one has to have a heart of stone not to feel (at least a little) for the heartfelt and sweet performance. (Kudos for composing and writing the song himself too!) I would imagine a neutral viewer being happy for Norway as well. :) Overall, although I felt at first that there were few songs I liked, I liked the whole show. Some songs of course more than others(I just couldn't get Armenia's song, though. I needed to take a break right there. :) ). My favourites included: Turkey (YEAH!), Estonia(Absolutely beautiful), Greece(Great Sakis bias. :)) &  Norway, (Absolutely adorable) and I also liked: Azerbaijan(Catchy!!), Bosnia and Herzegovina(Impressive), Albania(Sweet), Romania(Cute) and well.. being biased and all: Finland. XDD And I also liked the quirky Serbian entry that sadly didn't make it to the final. :( Voted for(yes, I voted) my faves Bosnia and Herzegovina and all finished in the top 10, so YAY! :D  8 happy summers | smile with me

HIATUS [Friday April 10th, 2009] [ music | Digimon Frontier - With Broken Wings (German ver.) ] HIATUS TILL 20.06.2009 Or something like that. (And it might be longer/shorter than until the date above) Basically, I'll be on the comp once a week, for a few hours the most, so chances are that I just won't have the time to be on LJ. I'll check my mail and anything compulsory though. :) Might also post something really quickly. But that's it then. I'm off to my parents' place to spend a few months studying. :) Hopefully I'll manage it. Everyone: Take care! 12 happy summers | smile with me

GAH! [Thursday April 9th, 2009] [ mood | crappy ] [ music | NEWS- Koi no ABO ] Sorry, insignificant thought shedding ahead. I didn't think Bayern could get much worse after the Wolfsburg match. And I guess they weren't much worse. But at least they got one goal in Wolfsburg, which was one more than in Barcelona. :( I was feeling nauseous and worried all day thinking about how Barcelona would thrash Bayern (Yes. Serious business. :) ). When I saw the eventual starting lineups I felt even worse. My only hope was that maybe Bayern would at least put up a fight. They didn't. They looked like they had mentally given up already right from the beginning. One miracle did occur, however: Barca NOT scoring in the 2nd half. They were probably just taking it easy. Ah, but stuff like this happens sometimes. That's life. And one needs a few harsh lessons in life. Anyway, since I'll be on hiatus and unable to watch the next game, at least I won't feel so regretful missing it. Biggest loss in Bayern's CL history. :( Ironically it's the first time Barca have beaten Bayern.. XP On the other games: Cheered for Porto. :) They still have a chance too! Really liked the game against ManU (Now, that was a good and relatively even match. :))Villareal vs. Arsenal was kind of exciting as well. And yay for Chelsea. :D (No, I'm just happy that the not favourites won.:)I didn't actually see this game though. Need to catch the highlights. ) Interesting how yesterday's games were draws and this day's... not so much. XD But nothing is sure yet... besides Bayern being out. :( On something positive: Watched the NEWS Koi no ABO PV. The song has been growing on me now. :) The PV is kind of silly, but I doubt it's trying to be anything else. (I mean, nobody can buy the "coolness", right? XDD) Nice to see that the 山P cups will prob. be the running joke in every PV. :) I'll be disappointed if they're ever absent. :) And since it's past 12 already: HAPPY 23RD BIRTHDAY, roadwaffle!! HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY, YAMAPI!!!!!! Oh dear, how the time flies... EDIT. After sleeping on it, I think it was lucky that the result wasn't even worse. :( I was fearing the worst and it wasn't quite as bad as that. Oh, but the press will tear(and is already tearing) poor Bayern apart. Well.. what can one do? :( EDIT2. It's insane how people attack the coach when things go wrong. Seriously, there's nothing anyone could have done with yesterday's group against Barca's geniuses. Heck, the players didn't seem capable of doing anything themselves on the field. Coaches can't miraculously heal the injured, mind control the players or give them abilities they don't have. But apparently it seems like some people expect just that. :( On a larger note: Yes, Bayern are having problems, but that's not the coach's fault either. These are much bigger issues than something a coach can influence with a touch of magic. EDIT3. At least the German clubs are doing well in the UEFA Cup. :D Pity I won't be able to see the 2nd legs. :( Or anything after. :( which will be regretful, if both HSV and Werder make it to the semifinals to play each other.. And later either to the final... Oh well...My studying had BETTER NOT be for nothing. XP smile with me

Oh dear, dear.... [Sunday April 5th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Mirai-Open up your mind ] Lots of problems. Hanging in here and realising that the time has really sped by. *coughs* 1.Bundesliga stuff: Oh gosh, yesterday the Bayern defense was at its worst. In addition I've never seen such an embarrassing goal for a team (not counting own goals). A player pretty much walking(or dancing) around five opposing players and nudging the ball with his heel into the goal. Definitely memorable. And if I weren't a Bayern fan I'd prob. find it very funny. 2. My bike protested the complete humiliation.. and broke. Oh goaah.. I need my bike! It should learn that football isn't that serious.(Except I'm probably going to be the one to be blamed. (Again)) 3. Oh.. next week against Barcelona. Well, at least the performance can't get much worse than what I witnessed. XDD I seriously hope this is part of some weird twisted plan to get Barcelona to underestimate Bayern. Though honestly, it's not that believable, since it's hard to buy that a team can suck that much. XDD it should have been toned down a little Hey, maybe it was a good lesson and the team is fired up? *trying to be positive* A football meme (again) which I apparently missed on the comm(ontd_football ) (Yes, might have been procrastinating again) ( footballer meme ) 4. Some randomness: apparently one of my ex-teachers has been in a registered partnership for quite a few years. Hmm.. not a big surprise, and if he was in the closet during the time he was my teacher that would explain his assholish behaviour. We always thought he had issues. Not that it makes a difference. There are few people in the world I've actually HATED, and the bad memories will always remain. 5. Guess if I have managed to study(properly)? (Actually I'm improving quite a bit. My main problem is going to bed too late, then waking up late with no energy left in me... On the bright side: I haven't been falling for the "sacrifice running for studying" trap.) EDIT: So scared about the Barca vs. Bayern game. In addition to my previous fears: Barca have their star squad, Bayern have keyplayers missing. No matter how I look at it, I just can't realistically or even idealistically see ANY chance for Bayern. *sighs* I'm going to just stay strong, and hope that no complete thrashing will take place... And that Bayern could get maybe one (consolation) goal. Fat chance smile with me

Well, hello... [Saturday March 28th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Anastasia OST - One Upon A December ] Uh, I woke up today to a spinning head. That was... interesting. I tried to remember my dream (because maybe it might have caused it.. for example if I was dreaming of something very stressful), but the spinning head obliterated any memory I had of that. Gosh, I really must be under some pressure again. *breathes in and out* Must take it easy. School and life are giving me trouble, as always. Good that I know that. I passed a test I shouldn't have passed. It's funny that I regretted writing anything on the paper, because I rather would have left an empty paper, and it turns out that the crap I wrote saved me from further worries. (No more regional studies!) Although.. I'm still bothered by those embarrassing "answers". Maybe if I spent more time doing something (like studying) instead of freaking out about the stuff I'm supposed to be doing (thus ending up NOT doing it), I could actually.. make some progress. Hahhah. I did better at school, when I wasn't obsessed with trying to study. Of course, back then I didn't need to either. Ah.. bad comparison. I guess I'll never win over my inner laziness. Or angst. Or something. Uh.. and I will soon have other things to concentrate on. *sighs* I should be studying. (see: stress?) Under the cut football meme (thing) I answered on ontd_football Which I cut to spare people. ( football meme ) Hmm.. I wonder if I could find a stream for the Wales vs. Finland WC qualifier? apparently won't even be on the sports channel here. However, the England vs. Slovakia friendly WILL(I usually don't care about these, but I don't get to see Finland play much, so...) Uh, no I need to clean my room, do washing, STUDY and take pain killers for my head. Ah, whatever. My spinning head spoiled everything anyway. And YES, I'm blaming that! Uh.. I actually don't want to take more painkillers... Just relax.. and watch football.. EDIT: Yay for Finland beating Wales 0-2. :) EDIT2: And the match was on TV, but I thought my parents don't have the channel. XDD(Oh, well. I watched it and a few other qualifiers anyway. (But I would have loved to hear the excited Finnish commentators. : ) ) Also: I remembered that I actually have a vacuum cleaner in my cupboard. Only after my Mum asked, when I complained to her about how useless sweeping is. (My head spun my brains away..) 22 happy summers | smile with me

CL quarterfinal drawing [Friday March 20th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Anastasia OST(Richard Marx and Donna Lewis) - At the Beginning ] It's interesting how before I was just up to date on what was going on, but now I'm watching even the Champions League quarterfinal drawing. XDD (And getting mentally ready for it in advance). Of course Bayern ends up facing Barcelona. XDD Oh, GAH! WHY? The team that (some of) the players themselves consider the strongest candidate for the title? Hopefully they won't let that get to them or any Barcelona admiration... And with certain people injured and all that.Currently they have 1/2 a striker, which is not too good for an offensive team.. Oh dear. :( *tries to be positive* Uh, as long as the result isn't too depressing, I won't worry too much. (Just a little, and you never know... yeah, right I'll be cheering for Bayern all the way no matter what happens.) It might even turn out to be a great match. *hopes* Rooting for all the other non-favourites as well. :D Personally hoping for a Bayern vs. Porto final. XD SO NOT going to happen, or a Bayern vs. ManU epic 10 year anniversary final, which more likely, also NOT going to happen But really, anything could happen and that's the fun of it. might be less fun at the end, though... Yay for Werder Bremen and Hamburger SV making it to the UEFA Cup quarterfinals. *will be watching that drawing as well* When did things become so serious? XDD it’s just when you get into something, you just really get into it, which is why I tried to just “keep things casual” for a looong time Well.. I have to concentrate on studying anyway. *coughs* Maybe I should do that soon? In a way that it won't end up like my previous "I'm so going to hand in an empty paper for the first time in my life"-test. (yay for stressing for nothing! I wasn't going to pass anyway.) Although... I have yet to leave that empty paper. I can't believe I embarrass myself every time instead of just making things easier. *sighs* I also can't believe that I don't have anything else to post. XDD My life is boring now. (Oh, I re-watched Anastasia TWICE(EDIT:) THREE TIMES for the upteenth time. I just LOVE that film. ;) I think I’d like to watch the old film from 1956 as well…) Uh, maybe a pre-warning of a hiatus taking place at the beginning of next month. ;) I should start limiting time on the comp already... EDIT: Hamburg against Manchester City, Werder against Udinese Calcio and if both of the North German clubs win, then it's against each other in the semifinals, which would be kind of awesome, even though meeting in the final would be even MORE awesome. I'm a little more positive now... but again: One can never know! smile with me

school troubles and just... troubles.. [Monday March 16th, 2009] [ mood | anxious ] [ music | Delta Goodrem-Lost without you ] On another failed week of "utilising the great amount of time I have and study": it's like my life consists of TRYING to study and turns into "doing absolutely nothing". I accomplished a fantastic 20 pages last week and by Sunday realised that my time really had run out and finally decided that I MUST finally write the Japanese composition... and nothing was coming out of it (nothing just comes out of my head), so I decided to change the topic to something easier. I wrote one sentence and realised that's all I had to say and completely freaked out. And I really mean: completely. It was pretty horrible. (Without going into details: it involves an intense feeling of self-hatred and desperation and is really about much more than just sucking at that particular moment) After a few hours I managed to come up with something... (basically I dug out something I wrote in the 8th grade and wrote what I could in Japanese). I haven't copied it yet to see if it's even long enough (prob. not), and turns out that I can breath again, since I have another week left. Gosh.. WHY do I keep on worrying about nothing? Maybe I should try to go to school tomorrow. And go to bed early. For once. I've been getting up early.. and going to bed late. Which is prob. why my fantastic idea of "putting myself in a room with the stuff I need to study and nothing else" hasn't worked, since I've ended up sleeping instead (which of course I did today and am not tired anymore. I SUCK). Or writing other stuff, instead of taking notes the notes I should. I have ONE day to study for a test. Oh, GREAT, I'm hyperventilating while thinking about it. My visits to the psychologist continue to be unsatisfactory, although I managed to get some tears out of me last time. Apparently I need therapy... that costs so much that the idea of it makes me feel worse. I cried and was pretty depressed the whole day... Is going to the psychologist just making me worse because I realise that YET AGAIN, I can't get anywhere, or the help I need? Gosh, I don't know.. but at the moment I feel more stressed and lost than ever. It's like.. I really don't know what to do. This(last)weekend the Bundesliga (both 1st and 2nd division) players wore black armbands and held a moment of silence before each game (actually started already in the UEFA-Cup games played in Hamburg and Bremen the day after that horrible incident), which somehow really touched me. I've been really worried about the issue the whole week and my dreams have involved ... violence and death. (Not that it's uncommon, anyway..) I don't know.. stuff like that REALLY freaks me out, especially in my current condition. I can't even imagine what it's like for those, who it affects directly. :( Yeah… there are people with so much bigger issues. :( And I prob. shouldn't worry about them either... and the few football related issues, yet again mainly involving injuries: the unfairness!! but I just do. :( EDIT: Just heard about this: http://www.goal.com/en/news/14/asia/2009/03/16/1158266/iraqi-footballer-shot-dead-by-fan OMG. R.I.P, and my condolences to the family and friends. :( 12 happy summers | smile with me

OMG [Wednesday March 11th, 2009] Whenever such massacre happens in the world, I feel distressed and sad. I hate guns and it's absolutely frightful that our society has come to this. :( My condolences to the families and friends of the victims in Winnenden and Alabama. :( 6 happy summers | smile with me

Problems again. School is just like that. :D [Sunday March 8th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Werder Bremen - Lebenslang Grün-Weiß ] Happy Birthday miruja!!!! Hope you managed to take some time off your busy schedule and celebrate at least somehow. :D And in advance: Happy birthday aetherdust!! More on "I suck and fail all the time": I've been feeling a little panicky all day and hyperventilating just thinking about school and studying and what I haven't accomplished and what I should accomplish. I decided to just let it go for today and maybe somehow try to write my Japanese composition next week. However, I have an essay I HAVE to finish today. I have almost finished it, but it's just getting slower and slower. I've realised that I've become even worse at organising and expressing my thoughts. Even when I KNOW what to write, it just doesn't come out right or out at all, and sometimes I have to stop to think of the word/sentence in the language I want to say it in. XDD I think I should practice writing more and read more.. actual books. Not just stuff on the internet. but anything in German is okay, even if it's on the net and only football related But really, all I managed today was: read two lines or so of something I've already forgotten, spend time on the internet doing something, and watch football (big surprise). I had a break in between my "doing nothing" and went out... to walk. Well.. at least I felt mentally a little better. Although, a tourist asked me help with reading a map and finding a place and I uselessly tried, even though I can't read a map! For some reason foreigners are always asking me for advice. And even when I know I suck at explaining (yeah.. there’s the problem with expressing myself again), I still try. I feel bad that I can’t help and they have to deal with my incompetence. On the bright side: I didn't have to scream yesterday after Bayern hammered Hannover Whom I feel actually a little sorry for. And I don't need to imagine what would have happened otherwise. :)and I don't mean myself here, but the team and the media.. and the fans.. XDD And my recording worked this time. :D (I like to record matches broadcasted here on TV, so I can watch them again another that is played at the same time. :D Don’t know what happened last week, but technology hates me,(which resulted in boxing so much that I tore the skin off my knuckles.. And they’re not healing fast enough. :) ) And oooh.. the Bundesliga table is soo exciting and closer than ever(although it has been pretty close most of this season). Hertha will still be in the lead if they lose next week, but the FOUR following teams all have the same amount of points with two with the same goal difference (and same amount goals scored and conceded) even! Overall.. basically almost half of the teams theoretically have a chance of winning (and the other half the fear of being relegated) Anyway, the fun thing (and actually kind of sad for each team) is that nothing is sure and nobody has been really consistent with their performance...( and teams keep on yoyoing up and down the table...) so who knows what could happen. :D I've not been a great follower before, but I'm pretty sure that it's rare for the Bundesliga to be so unpredictable and for the teams to be SO close to each other. I also enjoy such excitement, since I've come to like and root for other teams besides Bayern München(that will however remain my stable favourite for reasons determined in my childhood. XDD) and feel happy and sad for their success and failure. (Also internationally: Yay for the German clubs! :D) Hmm. Yeah.. and that's it with football. XDD I should.. uh.. finish that little essay... SOON and get to sleep so I can wake up early and start a new week. Hopefully a little better than this current one went. :) EDIT: I actually passed my last sociology test with a crappy mark. However, I don't think I can afford to retake the test(and I really don't feel like it anyway). At least I now have completed a minor subject. Yay. I hope it's possible to retake tests later... in case I feel like it... some time later.. smile with me

I want to go to the Audi Cup! [Saturday March 7th, 2009] [ mood | anxious ] Just my luck that ONE day (and/or two days) before we land in Hamburg some cool (football related) event takes place in Munich! Or rather: we've booked our tickets (good to be early) 2 weeks before I found out about this. And of course I could get tickets (at least at the moment) and they'd be cheap too. And how often does one get the chance to see 4 top football teams (AC Milan, Boca Juniors, Manchester United and Bayern München) play against each other in a mini tournament and testing their condition before the season starts? NOT THAT OFTEN. And not THAT CHEAP. I'm going to console myself with: “it's more of an event and a practice football tournament really", but that DOESN'T help, especially if I don't get to see ANY football, while in Germany(which probably will be the case. GAH.) And while I'm ranting about this I might as well add: if Bayern München loses against Hannover 96(again) today, I think I'll scream. Or do something drastic. XDD Actually I'm grateful that the Bundesliga has been so even this year and it's more fun to root for a team that isn't clearly winning anyway, but a team clearly underachieving is NO fun. My parents are naturally excited that I'll be visiting Germany (again), and of course Munich. Since they have such great memories from there. XDD So they’ve been thinking about what places we should visit, but not really remembering anything XDD (and my Mum advised me to see a football match if I can. Me: "I WISH!") New info: I didn't know that my Mum bought the material for her wedding dress in Munich (or then I just don't remember). Come to think of it... my parents did get married soon after leaving Munich.. so it makes sense. XD I wish she had worn the Bavarian national dress, like her friend suggested. That would have been fun. :D Oh, and randomness: leaving Munich on their 26th anniversary (which is on the 26th. :D So fitting. :D) On other randomness: Due to poor focus, everything going wrong and my own failing I haven’t done much of anything (I actually HAVE studied a bit, but just.. not enough). I actually saw the teacher when registering for the “regional studies: Austria” test, and for some strange reason he was all: "Oh, you'll pass:" Me: Do you know me? Do you remember that you gave me a MINUS on the test last time? Not a zero, a MINUS?. But of course I just said that I wasn't so sure about that. So if I end up sucking AGAIN, it will be twice as embarrassing now. Speaking of tests, I haven’t got the results of the previous ones. Oh gosh.. please don’t tell me I’ve failed… AGAIN!!! On non-school and football related stuff: since I've been recovering from an awful cold, I haven’t been able to do much exercise, but decided to use the last days on my card and go to the uni gym. :) That turned out okay, since it's not that tough on my lungs (which have never been the same since Pneumonia 2001). When the card is not valid anymore, I hope I can jog. :) Oh, and I watched the Korean film adaptation of Antique Bakery, which was a lot better than I expected. Unlike the Japanese drama the Korean film was true to the story and the characters, and kept most of the important events (I’m actually happy that they didn’t choose to include the part with Chikage’s daughter, because I didn’t actually like that part in the manga. XDD). Overall everything came nicely together. :D Boring update and rant: Over. 6 happy summers | smile with me

TV stuff [Friday February 27th, 2009] [ music | Hamburger SV - HSV Forever ] Yay for another one week holiday! And I almost sort of kind of feel like I almost deserve it after such mental suffering. XDD Especially the last days were pain, because I've yet again realised that I had NOT stuck to my timetable and there was just soo much to catch up. But my lasts tests included pathetic crying onto the test paper and a kind of hysterical fit before another. (mainly due to the fact that I just couldn’t finish my Japanese composition, because nothing was coming out, and it doesn’t help that the topic I chose was my dog, which causes crying anyway, and I even contemplated not showing up for the test. I did eventually, but I decided not to finish the composition. Turns out the deadline is actually in two weeks. I could have spent the wasted time studying. Yay.) Oh, and I have turned into a slob.. but after 3 weeks or so, my very long and persistent cold seems to be getting better. :D (Maybe I can exercise again) It was also a very contagious one. My Dad, grandmother, Mum and teacher got sick as well. And now my brother is sick. (Though he didn’t get it from me. XD) One of my friends got sick, got better and got sick again. Interesting times. :D Well.. at least there has been football keeping me sane, and fun incidents like shoegate lifting my spirits. XDD Speaking of which: Yay for Werder Bremen knocking out AC Milan(the favourites) in the UEFA Cup. :D I haven't cheered this much since Germany advanced to the finals during the Euro 2008 (Okay, it wasn't that long ago but aaanyway.. since then I've prob. watched more matches than before that(or that’s what it feels like), so...) And my Dad was happy too when I told him. (He doesn't really watch league matches, but he's for Werder Bremen. :D) Mmm... for the Sundays game against Bayern München. Both teams with a great ego-boost after international success that was definitely needed after the recent failing on the national level It should be interesting. :D But enough about that.. I've been trying to avoid too much open football fangirling, since I internally don't do much else anyway *coughs*, but in my mini-euphoria, can’t hold back all the time. XDD Tomorrow a group of my friends have decided to marathon through the Alfred J. Kwak series (the first season). :D which does mean that I miss football, but at least the one match I do want to see will be on TV, so I can record it. Gah. .. enough about that A great favourite when we were kids, and needs a re-watch, since it will be so different with a different mentality. And in honour of that (and because I'll prob. not have the chance later) I decided to finally list the TOP 10 cartoons from my childhood. :D) And I drew the line: early childhood, so late eighties to early nineties. :D Idea from j_lawliet ( top 10 cartoons ) Phew. Monster post. :D And on other things: *-YAY FOR KANJANI8'S NEW ALBUM and boo for the extortion. XDD I'm getting only ONE version... but I don't know which, since they're both so tempting. Gaaah. -Oh and: I WILL be travelling next year (Hopefully visiting a few countries. :D We already reserved our flights (to Hamburg and from Munich), so I better not have any issues coming up. :D -I'm still not giving up on making that timetable. Not a SINGLE one has worked, but I will try till the end. XDD and not be distracted by shiny objects like football -And.. I should clear up my room. It wouldnät be a big job, since it's mostly arranging and getting the paper mess together, but it's hard to get started. :D Yes, monster post., but I post so rarely nowadays, that I just post everything. Or something. XD 9 happy summers | smile with me

Computers=fun [Monday February 2nd, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Gianna Nannini-Bello e impossibile ] Stupid weekend. I'm blaming the computer that decided to flip again. When the computer gets like that, it's really all I can think about. There was really nothing left, but to clean up everything AGAIN. (Not to mention I had to go through all the files and decide what to transfer and what to let go off, and install all the vital programmes and settings AGAIN)Better now than later when things get really bad and I don't have the time and energy to spare. I probably wouldn't have done anything substantial this weekend anyway. I WAS trying to study, though. Honestly. But it's really hard to concentrate when all I can think about is my computer. Some memes I did while I was procrastinating again: ( Tv series ) ( bookmeme ) And keeping up with the theme, a test: ( Read more... ) Uh... and thanks to procrastination and whatnot (like fiddling with the computer, chatting on MSN(well I just installed it and all that)rewatching a certain match and ranting about goals that should have counted this included lots of pausing, looking around for lost objects and doing some washing) I have NOT managed to study AGAIN. And I need to get to bed early, so I can get up early and.. maybe do some homework.. Some lessons this week were canceled. YAY!!! Uh... I have a headache anyway. Randomness: I don't feel like I'm making much progress, when the psychologist aske me about Livejournal. Well.. I DO spend a lot of time here, and it's often not that good for my life and health. But sometimes.. it is. :D Oh, the internet... I don't know what to think about you. You have made procrastination and being distracted so much worse not to mention annoyed me to no end, but... I can't live without you. :D The hate-love relationship 12 happy summers | smile with me

Hey, I can update. [Tuesday January 27th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | BOTS - Was wollen wir trinken ] Happy birthday, meablie!!!! On other less important things: Oh-kay. I suck. But test number one is behind me (for now. It will be ahead once I don’t pass) and I should concentrate on what’s to come. As in: MAKE A TIMETABLE AND STICK TO IT. Hasn’t worked so far. This day started quite okay. I woke up really early BEFORE my alarm clock after some random dream involving football (of course) and a murder mystery at a hotel. Then spent the precious time I had on the net before going outside to jog. This is one of my goals: to exercise every morning, but I think I should add in some more and actually try to exert myself or something. My theory is that I can maybe concentrate better if I can release some of the energy. I also need the rhythm and I need stability. Studying has always been a problem for me, but this is really bad, probably because there is just SO much text to read. It was very clear last week. I would get frustrated and take a break to throw and beat things and do… whatever (like jumping around or doing handstands or lying on the floor). Once I did manage to read almost 3 hours in the library (not many pages, since my mind drifted, but there is much less to do there. :D). The day before the test: nothing. XD In fact, I just gave up and decided to read manga. It really is a pity that I managed so little so late (not I didn’t manage to study everything)) because the 1000 page book is actually interesting and not difficult. I didn’t feel like I wanted to go to the test, but my Dad made me (though he knew I hadn’t studied enough) and I did ramble 4 pages on something (hahah), don’t know if I really answered the questions like in the book, but at least I didn’t leave an empty paper. Anyway, the point is that I waste so much time that I take away from other things to study, doing anything BUT study. AT LEAST I DO TRY. It’s just… That it’s difficult. And today it continues: I only had Japanese today. It’s already evening, and besides my one lesson... and a jog, I haven’t done anything. Maybe I should make that timetable. And because TV is vital: my “to watch list” until the end of March, when I’ll go on hiatus (to study. Hah) and will miss a lot, probably for nothing: ( to watch list ) My “to watch list” has actually shrunk (mainly due to hiatuses and cancellations). I never actually really stick to it. As in: don’t watch everything on it and/or watch something else. Hahahahah. :D And now, since I actually found out how my tests went,: The autumn round up based on how many lessons I skipped and how I did. XDD ( I suck, but not as much as sometime before ) So much for not skipping. It’s not THAT bad, though. Subjects of the spring: Japanese(already skipped one lesson), Work life crap orientation, Sociology(2 courses), Regional studies: Germany, Regional Studies: Austria, the compulsory computer thing, which I should have done two years ago AND A MEME FROM: j_lawliet ( meme ) 18 happy summers | smile with me

Life is random as is this entry [Wednesday January 14th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Paramore - Crushcrushcruch ] HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY lady_hiwatari!!!! And congrats on becoming an "adult". :D Which pretty much means that you can do stuff legally instead of illegally... so nothing has changed. Hahahahah. :D Just kidding. Kind of. Anyway.. I hope you had a great day (at school :D)!!! And.. that you got my very crappy card. :D (Or will get it soon) On other things: School has started! Yay! And I started it by skipping the first day! Go me!! :D Okay, but that's it. No more skipping. I have lessons only twice a week anyway and the rest should be devoted to self-study. I mean it. (Although there are the times I have to see a psychologist, that’s not helping me at all, and visit the courthouse to gain nothing and all other activities that just waste my time I wouldn’t use anyway. Hahahah) Also on Nothing New: I wasted my Christmas holiday(lazying and watching stuff) and might as well have gone to Cologne. (Waahhh!!!), although in the end I did manage to revise some Japanese and read 20 pages (actually only 15) of sociology...(out of 1000, and the test is next week. Hahahahahah. :D I rule. :D) I don't know what's with me and the weird tendency to read only 20 pages and give up. Seriously, I read the same pages a few months ago when I was first supposed to take the test. *sighs* It doesn't help that football continues to be on my brain, and if it wasn't it would be something else (that's how procrastination works), but I really don't want it to be football, because of the fear that it will make me stupid. I mean more stupid than I already am. (Seriously, I've noticed that my already low intelligence plummets or my brain starts malfunctioning when something remotely related to the topic comes up) More teachers hate me and I can't blame them. During "working life orientation or whatever" my attitude was: "I don't know what to do and I don't care". Hopefully I pass. I should have at least made something up and got off easy, but NO, I have to just be honest and now I have to actually think of a possibility I hope to keep as my last option if everything else fails. Life is good. I also have the regular problems of not being able to sleep or able to drag myself early enough from bed. I was positive last night, but I failed. Again. At least I didn't have any football related dreams.. No, wait I did.. but I also dreamt that my brother was gay(and in love with his teacher) and I got a summer job just like that(Oh, I should have suspected something here). I was really disappointed when I woke up. XDD Oh gosh, what a random entry. Back to studying. yeah right 8 happy summers | smile with me

Thoughts [Monday January 5th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Michael Jackson - Bad ] HAPPY 20TH BIRTHDAY icewolf_kasumi!!! Hope you have/had a fun day (or at least that it didn't suck. XD) Heheh. You're not a teenager anymore. :D Good for you!! :D now I can't think of you as a kid anymore, not that I ever did. Hahahah. :D Today is also the day my brother is supposed to move. Hmmm... And the day of an appointment that I've been waiting for ages. XDD Ended up wondering and running around for about an hour, while crying over my worthlessness, but still trying my best to find the place. Some time after I had already accepted the fact that I'd have trouble finding home, let alone the right place, I found the right street. XD And was only a few minutes late. Weird miracles happen. The running around in the cold wasn't very healthy tough, since I still have a bit of a temperature. Oh well. :D Other stuff: Watched the Taiwanese drama Queen's (loosely based on the manhwa), mainly because of Tang Zhen Gang (who was in the film GO! GO! G-BOYS.. and is very pretty. XDD), but I did end up enjoying it for the series itself. XDD It was total crack, parodied pop-culture in general, played with clichés and traditional gender roles and didn't even take itself seriously. :D It did draaag a bit towards the end (too much relationship drama), but at least the main concept was clear: You love who you love. Gender, age, looks.. whatever.. don't matter. :D Random: Just stuff I don't understand about the culture and whatever. Also: A 20-year-old is still a child, but 26/27 is old? I'm confused. Anyway the drama got me thinking about stuff that generally bothers me, but in a more positive way. To tell the truth I'm tired of agonising over stuff like that anyway. XD I'm not the most feminine person on the planet. Even my brother, who tries to be masculine, is more feminine than me. XDD I'm not generally bothered by the mental aspect(I like what I like and I act how I like), but it's not fun to physically resemble a guy. And I wouldn't even be a pretty guy. I'd be an ugly one. XD I'm not sure how plastic surgery could even change me and I just keep on getting uglier anyway. Hahah. So.. what’s the use worrying over something I can't change? Yeah.. easier said than done, but maybe.. one day I'll learn to accept it. I'm not an actress or model or whatever. I don't need to be pretty. And I despise superficiality anyway. Besides, “true ugliness” is on the inside. :D Also… one of the reasons I hate going out is because I HATE “dressing up”. Seriously, if I’m not let in places because of my clothes (or appearance), that’s a sign that it’s not for me. I’d rather wear men’s clothing anyway. Ah... got some DVDs (like Goal 2) and my uncle still has the DVD player. yes, I could watch them on the comp, but I'm weird and want to watch them on a bigger screen, since I can. XDD) 16 happy summers | smile with me

Ryuusei no Kizuna [Sunday January 4th, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Breaking Benjamin - Diary of Jane ] Uh.. feeling a bit sick. Nothing really bad (yet), but it’s best to just take it easy. It’s quite cold outside anyway(so WHERE is the snow?) and I’ll prob. end up just getting worse with running around there. L Had an ”After Christmas/New Year” party with a few friends yesterday. It pretty much consisted of hanging around and eating lots of healthy food. XD Also managed to “watch” two football matches (Hull City vs. Newcastle United and Preston Northend vs. Liverpool) and some random weird Swedish film that nobody really quite understood, and played some Trivial Pursuit (which made me really wild.. because I’m just a bit.. competitive.) But yeah.. it was fun. Just hanging around even with half the people sick or with something. This time of the year it’s easy to get sick. Watched Ryuusei no Kizuna that turned out different to my expectations. Firstly, I expected it to be more of a dark suspense drama with an interesting mystery, but too me it was more of a drama comedy than a thrilling mystery. Second, overall it was fairly enjoyable, but I was disappointed with what I was looking forward to and enjoyed something I normally don't. XDD The "mystery", that was sadly obvious in first (or the 2nd?) episode didn't really make much of an impact on me, but when I got a bit further I watched the remaining episodes immediately, since I wanted to now where the romantic storyline was going. XDD I'm generally not a big fan of romance, (because it often just doesn’t work or come off right, IMO), but here it was really sweet.~~<3 The interactions between the characters were heartfelt and moving, and some beautiful scenes really made me smile. :D Whereas normally I really like sibling relationships, and the trio just didn't sell it for me, mainly because of the (IMO) bad plot contrivance. As soon as "not blood related" was thrown into the picture, I knew I wasn't going to like what was coming. However I liked the group as little kids, because they seemed like authentic siblings and I could just feel more for them in general compared to their adult counterparts. Those little kids did a really great job in their roles. :D *applauds* Not that I thought the older actors were bad, I just didn't like the characters that much. Shizuna did grow on me later when her character showed more depth. Though... how come every guy seems to fall for her? Seriously. and she cries all the time Well.. at least I liked some characters (Yukinari <3) and just the depiction of families in general. I wasn’t a big fan of the Ariake family (but I did feel for them, especially the kids whose loving parents did suck at their job) but I really liked the Togami family. :D And in the end family is still family no matter what. Random note: The most surprising thing to me was the statute of limitations. I thought it was a Phoenix Wright thing, but there actually is a 15 year time limit in Japan(?). I feel stupid assuming that it would be limitless everywhere. Still. It’s friggin MURDER. The culprit is caught one day after and gets away with it? Wow. Some tests: ( colours ) 19 happy summers | smile with me

New Year [Thursday January 1st, 2009] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Toraji x Haiji-FANTASTIPO ] Happy New Year!! What's it with certain people wishing it already on the 31st? The New Year beings on the FIRST day of the year, not the LAST. Sorry. A small peeve. at least mention if it's in advance Stayed up until 12 anyway, although I wanted to go to sleep earlier. I was somehow stuck at my parents place. Talked about New Year's resolutions, I tried to make some for my parents(XD) and it also lead to the “meat incident”. This time when I actually explained to my Mum WHAT it means to me, she seemed to get it and then apologised. :D Wow. So she started her "try to understand me (her daughter)" already in advance. XDD Need to make some resolutions. Again ( old and new resolutions ) Tried to get up early and couldn't... but managed to go for a jog then later. XD I've always started the new year like that. :D Even when I've been sick. (Yeah, but not very sick.. of course I wouldn't run with high fever or anything. XDD) Watched the Johnny's countdown. :D -Tsuyoshi wishing Koichi a happy birthday with a (big) bunch of roses. :D (Can't believe he's 30 now..) -Uchi!~<3 Even if it was a short appearance. -A big applause for truth during the Arashi medley. :D OMG, it's their 10th anniversary now. Time really flies.. -No Tackey & Tsubasa. :( Just the two separately. :( -And.. the year of the ox!! Since this is supposed to be "my year", I really hope it means that. XDD And I'll actually keep those darn resolutions. At least one of them. *sighs Not reflecting on my year. It was a REALLY crappy year, probably overall one of the worst. I'm REALLY hoping that things will get better... eventually... Anyway.. since I kind of mentioned this before here are pictures of my room. And also pictures of my "old room" at my parents place for various reasons. XDD ( pics of room(s) ) And because I think I said I'd do this as well. Comment stats: ( Lj comment stats ) 47 happy summers | smile with me

[Saturday December 27th, 2008] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Seeed - Ding ] Happy belated Boxing Day!! Which also means: Happy (belated) 13th birthday, Linda!! :D I actually went over to my parents place and sat in my room with the urn in my hands being all emotional. Obviously. But I just wanted to do that. I also thought that it was the right day to watch “Quill”, since it’s about a Labrador Retriever. :D Expected to be emotional, and WAS. It’s moving even without being able to relate to it let alone with all that emotional charge already there. Need to watch happy, happy stuff. Though I got some sudden urge to watch BL/gay-themed films (after finally watching all three “BL” films with Saito Takumi. XDD), and they mostly are NOT happy, happy. If I’m lucky I get sweet, but angsty, which is what I prefer to the angst, angst, angst and/or almost everybody unnecessarily dying and/or doomed to suffer in the end. I don’t have anything against sad stories, and actually like them even, but it just has to WORK. I even prefer an over the top happy ending to an over the top tragedy. In general.. I guess I want more depth especially concerning characters. There seem to be generally good ideas that need to be worked on. I also have yet to find something Japanese that’s a little bit more explicit than the ones I’ve seen. seriously, a kiss on the lips is the MOST one gets. It’s like that kind of physical contact is avoided, and not in just BL. Actually, I just need to find something that I can personally find REALLY good, instead of okay/watchable/enjoyable. But maybe, in general, the aim is not beyond that? And I don’t generally have a problem with it either… since I often don’t expect much. XDD And uh.. yeah.. I’ve been pretty much doing nothing, besides procrastinating and watching stuff. I didn’t realise it was the weekend already! Time flies! I swear that I’ll start studying tomorrow! or at least Monday Anyway… since the year is almost over(again), here are some regular end of the year memes. :D ( end of the year memes ) 10 happy summers | smile with me

Christmas and watching stuff [Thursday December 25th, 2008] [ mood | blah ] [ music | Wham! - Last Christmas ] Happy 23rd birthday, diskosika!! And a merry Christmas to everyone else!! I myself am not a big fan and it's my first Christmas without Linda and her birthday would be tomorrow. :( But in general Christmas ended before it began, when my mother accidentally fed me meat, which to me is almost the same as feeding me poison (the difference being that I won’t actually die). What’s even worse is that she didn’t even apologise and tried to somehow dismiss her mistake as “I thought it was cheese… whoops” although the filling for the pasta says on the packet, which is what I immediately went to check after I tasted something funny. The tortellini smelt funny as well, but silly me trusted that my mother respects my principles enough to LOOK AT WHAT SHE BUYS. And somehow understand how important it is to me instead of getting angry with me for being upset over “a small mistake”. I was livid and everything accelerated into a big mean row. Also.. I apparently stamped my foot so hard on the floor that I couldn’t walk (Seriously. My leg is still hurting, although I can somewhat walk now).. Oh… the poor neighbours. So, that’s another family member, who I’m not talking to at the moment… Well… I guess it wouldn’t be a typical Christmas for our family if someone weren’t pissed at someone. Speaking of another person, who is too self-absorbed to see that he’s wrong, I finally gave up waiting for anything to happen with my brother and decided to just keep the presents (I originally bought for his birthday but decided to wait until Christmas), which at least turned out okay, since come to think of it... it's not like I'd ever see them again, since my brother assumes I don't like football or that football is "his thing" or something. Whatever. It's sad though that I might not appreciate the 11 hours of "The History of Football" as much as he would. XDD and when will I have the time to watch it? But I watched Goal!, which I found really good and moving me to tears (sports films tend to do that to me) even if a little corny at times but when you're used to certain sports anime, it's incredibly down to earth. The main character is adorable and I feel like I can root for and sympathise with him. I didn't even hate the love story like I thought I would. (It was actually kind of sweet) It was also fun noticing familiar faces, even when I couldn’t quite place them. Same with the cameos. :D (There were waaay more professional football players than I could recognise. XDD) I need to watch Goal 2 now. :D (Apparently Lehmann and Casillas have cameos in it! *psyched*) On more football related things: I watched Shaolin Soccer. :D I had to, since I read that it was influenced by Captain Tsubasa and the influence is actually very apparent. Of course with the exaggeration it's closer to Prince of Tennis... or Dragon Ball. XDD I can't help but "assign" characters to each: The main character a mixture of Tsubasa and Hyuga (one of the techniques even takes a form of a tiger. XDD), the (main)goalkeeper a mixture of Genzo and Wakashimazu.. though he's supposed to be like Bruce Lee, the “evil team” like the German team (with kicking balls that burn (hmm.. fire shot. XD) and having a confident obstacle of a goalkeeper). But yeah… overall it was more of a martial arts film… and a lot of crack. :D And speaking of martial arts sports films based on sports manga, I also remembered to watch Kung Fu Dunk, which was more serious, more dramatic, less cracky, but kind of freaky. Overall it was really touching (darn you, sports themed films!) and I love how the last match and the film itself ended. I should be watching more Christmassy things.. Oh well. :D My uncle took the DVD-player anyway. XDD Finished going through hell of tidying/cleaning my room in time for Christmas Eve. Normally I like arranging and tidying, but this was just.. horrible. Maybe because I just have a lot of stuff and having a lot of stuff annoys me. Yet.. I keep on getting stuff. (I started pondering this... Maybe I just liking having and buying things, because as a kid I couldn’t and if I wanted something, I more than often didn't get it, even after crying for AGES. So.. I'm making up for lost times? Thanks to the existence of stuff and that retched internet. XDD) In the end, after a whole week accompanied by a lot of procrastination, a lot of suffering and angsting (and a few bouts of anger.. and swearing in three different languages XDD) I managed to get.. something done. I'm not really pleased and the difference is not that big. At least my grandmother and Dad seemed pleased.. understandable considering the mess they left me with. XDD Then my grandmother revealed that she was thinking of betting with my Dad whether or not I had managed to arrange my room before they got back from the summer cottage. :D (My grandmother was betting against, my Dad for. :D Hah! Who knows me best, now? XDD) And I still haven't arranged my cupboards or bookshelves. Oh. That can wait. I need to start studying soon too. I really hope I can study. *starts doubting herself* On a brighter side, my grandmother said that tidying my room was the best Christmas present I could give her. XDD Great. Since she never accepts anything concrete from me. I wonder what I’ll do next year? mess up my room in time for Christmas and then tidy it again. XDD 55 happy summers | smile with me

HOLIDAY! [Monday December 15th, 2008] [ mood | accomplished ] [ music | FC Bayern München Fans United - Stern des Südens ] Well, finally I've finished with my school and actually am on Christmas holiday! (Kind of). The holiday was marked by completing my assignments (yes plural) for demography that I managed to get done half an hour before the deadline. (Oh, I'm punctual. :D) I seriously hope I pass, because there was just so much work and effort poured into that. Not to mention.. TIME, because I'm so slow and am not able to focus for long periods of time. So there was a lot of jumping around (I mean literally), pacing (can't sit still) and thoughts drifting off to completely other things. There was also some panicking and freaking out involved. XDD And I'm so sorry komischvogel and miruja for bothering you so much!! Thanks for helping me and listening to my complaining! I needed that! (Talking Finnish also helped me. XDD) Thanks to tests and whatnot I've had to cancel so much and can't go to Cologne thanks to future tests.. speaking of which I have to check what books I need for upcoming test. Yeah, I know... the upcoming month isn't exactly a holiday, but at least I can afford to take it easier. In the end I think I've actually become better at studying, which is still... not good. I still have a way to go. At least I spent a lot of time trying, so it means I have initiative, even if the quality is not that awesome. In general time wise I spent too much time on tests that I ended up sucking at and less time on those I could have been sort of okay at if I have managed to study enough. *sighs* Everything goes wrong. It doesn't help when I “forget” to read books and as already mentioned have great troubles focusing. I will seriously do and think of anything. Also: hello youtube. :D Thanks to that I got football on the brain (it's funny how certain things just pop in my head), which also lead to remembering to check on Captain Tsubasa, with which I’ve been obsessed (of course after “randomly” finding about the German dub for the 2002 series, I had to watch certain IMPORTANT eps featuring certain characters. Repeatedly XXDDD) Hah. Looking forward to watching the series “properly” (and reading the manga. ;) ) and.. playing Phoenix Wright, and watching certain series I have promised(sort of) people I will watch.. and RUNNING again. (Seriously.. I gave up running, to study? UGH.) Phew. Tomorrow I should prob. arrange my horrid room, plan my schedules (because they always work), do some Christmas shopping (which won't be big and I won't be buying for two I normally buy for, since I'm still fighting with the other and the other is dead. :( ) Other things: maybe sleep and move my body? And will reply to old, old comments and see what I've missed. (I'm guessing A LOT) Note to next year: gather people's addresses, so I can send more than 4 Christmas cards. XDD 16 happy summers | smile with me

I'm busy and procrastinating. :D [Tuesday November 11th, 2008] [ music | Europe - Final Countdown ] Posting during the week, because I actually didn't get the chance last weekend, and I've been procrastinating too long (or browsing LJ) to actually get some schoolwork done, but that will change! Yeah right... But that's the problem with online courses and school and the net. It's difficult to do stuff during the week, so I end up doing something else.. and ALL the school work on Sunday (or any day before the "deadline"), because then I don't have a choice. ;) Yeah... and a lot of stuff is on the net, so I can't really limit my time on the comp... *sighs* Oddly enough.. when my net decided not to work, my first thought was "HOW am I going to do my school work" instead of "OMG, I can't download stuff!".. so I do have some sort of will to do.. something.. Today I also finally attended a Japanese lesson (and got my test back.. which wasn't as bad as I had thought). I originally only planned on skipping the day we got our tests back, but I was stuck at the courthouse last week. :D And we plan on visiting again. ;) I haven’t been watching much of anything and have been trying to limit… everything, but I sort of managed to watch a bit of anime…. Mainly by accident. XDD I originally wasn't going to watch Kirepapa before the 2nd OVA came out, but I just came upon it on YouTube(I must have been procrastinating.. obviously. ;) ) and I absolutely loved it. :D Or rather, I REALLY loved the main pairing. That sort of lead to multiple viewings (not just on YT), repeatedly reading whatever I could find of the manga I might have ordered something in Japanese and listening to drama CDs multiple times (it’s great practice though! *excuses*). :D XDD I actually appreciate the slight differences, but personally I liked that the drama CDs delve much deeper into the story, even more than the manga. :D The first OVA seemed very rushed, but even so worked really well and even the characters were surprisingly fleshed out. I'm scary when I get obsessed, and it has been ages since there’s been a couple/pairing/series that has excited me this much. :D Now I’m eager to see the 2nd OVA. :D (based on the trailer it seems like the plot from the 3rd drama CD.. and the 2nd manga has been skipped? Gah! This series needs more OVAs!) A test: ( Which Peanuts Character ) Uh.. and school. Just a month left. Lots of work. And it's late now and I haven't done my homework for tomorrow! *fails* 6 happy summers | smile with me

A LOT of rambling [Sunday November 2nd, 2008] [ mood | worried ] [ music | access - doubt and trust ] YAY!! School started! And I already skipped a bit, because I just felt bad, but that MUST stop. Everything seems back to being an awful mess again and I need to, really need to get my life together! Now follows a massive post, on which I've wasted the whole weekend. :D At the beginning of the week: Finished Phoenix Wright Ace Attorney! (and gosh, is the name “ace attorney” misleading here. XDD). I think I loved this more than Justice for All, despite my nervous breakdown during “finger printing” when I seriously almost broke my DS. XDD Mainly because the last two cases were deeper and multifaceted (and there was a lot of different things to do in the last case as well), but most importantly: MORE Edgeworth!! Seriously, my adoration just grew (didn’t know it was possible. XDD)… while my like for Phoenix decreased.. (I still can’t hate that dork, though. XD) I thought this game was funnier than JFA and I actually had to laugh at times. Maybe I wasn’t taking it as seriously and I’ve sort of learned to like the bizarre screwed up legal system in the world of Phoenix Wright, so I don’t shake my head in horror too much. ;) Also: I’ve learned to laugh at the judge. XDD CUT for MAJOR rambling and SPOILERS for the first two games: ( Objection! ) I swear, I was brief and actually cut some of the rambling. And I FINALLY got down to doing this meme ( I promised lady_hiwatari) It took AGES.. mainly it was the pics, but I wasn't sure what to ramble about. XDD 1. List your top seven ships 2. Put all of them in order of your love for them; 7 to 1, 1 being your favorite. (I did this the other way round) 3. Name their fandom. 4. Supply photos for said people.(Pictures. It was TOUGH) 5. Tag seven people. (Tagging nobody. I'd like to see a few people do it, but it's SO time consuming. So do it if you have the time. ;) ) CUT mainly for pics. Also SPOILERS, ( OTPs ) Phew. Seriously. That took me AGES. I need to go on a hiatus or something after this. Only a few months. A semi-hiatus, at least. :D 34 happy summers | smile with me

Update on stuff [Sunday October 26th, 2008] [ mood | worried ] [ music | Ohno Satoshi - Rain ] Wow. It’s the last day of my “holiday” and AGAIN I’ve accomplished nothing. However.. this time I don’t feel so bad about it, because I wasn’t really planning to. I DID spend my birthday doing anything but studying (I met up with a few friends to go and see a film, and later hung around and wasted time), and I think I might have played some of the first Phoenix Wright game?(I have been playing a bit of it every now and then) Anyway.. I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday!!! You’re awesome!! I’m not a fan of birthdays (because it just reminds me of my life running away), but I do take it as a sign of caring when people remember. :D I personally feel bad if I forget someone’s,(even if it’s not a close friend) birthday.. So yeah.. I do tend to respect those who remember. XDD Also.. on other days I prob. hung around, met some friends and stuff. So the week really was “a holiday” and everything has piled on this last day and I must quickly do and update everything. Hmm... I have another French composition. *dies * Rambling on some TV series. Heroes: Seriously… this is getting insane. I can’t take this show seriously anymore. For me... it’s in the same category as Grey’s Anatomy. I watch it for the ridiculousness. ( spoilers until ep 3x06 ) Survivor Gabon: ( spoilers until ep 17x06 ) Ugh. I have to go for a jog, clean my room, vote and do that French composition. Darn it!! *races off* 14 happy summers | smile with me

OMG, MAOU! [Sunday October 19th, 2008] [ mood | thoughtful ] [ music | Arashi - truth ] Phew. At least I have a week of sort of kind of rest, although I prob. have to concentrate on arranging my “schedule” and doing SOME schoolwork. It’s already midterm and it was a complete disaster.. well maybe not a complete disaster, but it definitely didn’t go as I had planned. For some reason… I ended up screwing up a lot of things, and didn’t study.. much at all. In fact I only studied a bit of Japanese, and not even that was enough, because my test was a complete mess.. and here I do mean COMPLETE. Besides maybe the kanji part.. the stuff I focused on the most, and that ended up hurting the grammar part, which was a complete embarrassment. I wanted to cry after that huge and horrible mess.. I’m not even sure that I pass it.. I think I will.. but one can never be sure. The only thing I’m sure of is that it was a disaster. I can’t take it back, but at least… I can work harder next time. Yeah.. I always think “next time I’ll do better”.. and I don’t. But at least.. I’m going to try. I know I’ll end up sucking.. but trying.. somehow makes me suck less. One definitely big improvement was the visit to the mental health department… at least I feel like I’m getting somewhere … towards arranging my life, my head.. anything. At least I hope.. because if I get that in order and find out what to do.. I might get the stability I need or the means to manage as stably as possible. I hope. Because I can’t go on like this. On to more positive things (kind of XDD): I spent most of my day yesterday watching Maou(and this day reflecting on it XDD). :D Yeah.. it wasn’t originally at the top of my “to watch list”, though it was there(because of Toma.. and Ohno and the fact that it was constantly appearing on my flist), but I made the mistake of actually checking what it was about and was already obsessed with it before even watching it. It’s SO “my type” of a drama.(btw. gitarre_engel, I recommend it to you as well, if you haven’t checked it out yet.. and icewolf_kasumi, because I know you could ramble with me about it. XDD Well.. anyone really.. who hasn't watched it yet) and has a lot of elements that I appreciate. Of course I had to wait a whole week, because of school, and watched it as soon as I had the chance. Every episode in a row. XDD (SEE, why I had to wait a whole week? I knew what would happen.. and I felt that it really wasn’t the type of drama to watch little by little, not with such a clear, eventful and powerful plot) My expectations were way high and I was afraid I’d be disappointed, but I wasn’t.. Not at all. It was even deeper and more psychological than I thought it would be, something I realised more clearly afterwards, because while watching I was too enthralled with the plot to think of anything else... later it had me thinking and sobbing for ages… It’s hard to really sum up my thoughts and feelings on it.. most of the time I was almost leaning in my chair going “OMG, OMG, OMG…” and probably still on some level feel that way. Yes, this drama had me on the edge of my seat, had me thinking feeling so much… I don’t think I’ve been so affected by a drama before, or felt so emotional... ( cut for rambling. Not really spoilerly, since it wouldn't make much sense to those, who haven't seen it, but a warning just in case. XDD ) Hmm.. so I did get some thoughts out of me. XDD It’s more of an abstract, really. There is just soo much more too it. I could prob. go on for ages and ages.. but this is okay. ;) Obviously I’m obsessed with it (I will eventually watch the original, Korean version as well. :D Though I’m a bit afraid that I’ll end up not liking either one because of the other. XP) I also ordered the OST(actually before I even saw the drama..), two versions of Arashi’s single, and any random mags that have anything on it.. but I really want a Maou poster *tears hair* Hahah.. it’s a good thing I watched it during my “holiday”.. It’s really hard to think about much else… But really.. despite being so obsessed, I don’t feel like re-watching it any time soon. Mainly because it’s just so impressively distressing, but also because it’s the kind that is special the first time. Gosh.. I need something happy. Maou was such an angst overload… On to other stuff and money spending, and whatnot. :D I received the Phoenix Wright Games! Yay! Although.. I’m not sure I’ll be able to play them in my current condition and situation... I know what will happen, if I just start to play “a little bit”. XDDD Anyway: Yay for multiple languages! The first one has German, Italian and Spanish.. and the other two (Trials and Tribulations, Apollo Justice) are both with German and French. (Well…. It’s just two languages.. but better than just one. ;) ) And about languages.. I also received the DVD I ordered to replace the one I broke, and this was has audio in 5 different languages and subtitles in 15 languages! Not that I’d watch it that many times.. XDD(Well.. I don’t know how good it is of, course.. ;) ), but it’s worth mentioning. XDD Phew... Where did the day go? I still have stuff to do! XDD 32 happy summers | smile with me

I suck [Sunday October 5th, 2008] [ mood | worried ] [ music | NEWS - GAME OF LOVE ] Yes, great title. Not looking for sympathy, so no need to bother. XDD Just trying to get stuff off my chest. -after three days of trying (basically it's the Italian course I do on the net, so I'm on my own comp once a week), which means just shameless procrastination (on the net=WRONG) until I finally did it, I TOTALLY screwed it up, thus revealing to the teacher that I actually don't know any Italian. Go me!! -completely embarrassing myself at the Japanese lesson and earning a "WTF?" look from the teacher. -wanted to FINALLY watch a DVD I bought, but ended up breaking it while taking it out of its case. Actually I wasn't even upset. I ordered a new one. -messing up the inside of my (school) bag and a copy book and some other stuff that now kind of stink... -NOT studying. It's sad. I don't know HOW I spend my time. I'm guessing: procrastination. -NOT exercising. HOW can I be so lazy? -letting my room be taken over by a pile of stuff instead of cleaning it.. which is interesting, considering that I don't do much there. -calling the uni's mental health care on the last day of the week and getting the message that it wasn't possible to schedule an appointment on that specific day. Clearly the universe is sending me a message, that it doesn't want me to get help... However it keeps on messing up with my life -I can't sleep. I keep on waking up. Nice to know that that's back. XDD What I do know and at the moment seems okay is my TV watching! XDD yay for TV! The one I'm most excited about (at the moment) is Survivor. :D (but who knows.. I might end up hating it, fi things turn out sucking. XDD) And this is cut, because nobody on my flist cares XDD and it's spoilery, but I want to jot down stuff for myself anyway. XDDD ( Survivor Gabon ep 3 spoilers ) But I still found something positive: Meeting friends and buying a sociology book (I just mentioned that it was on discount and the money was in my hands in 30s. Parents can be generous sometimes). Listening to the new NEWS single. It's really very bland, but it's okay. :D At least I don't have an urge to spend money. because now that the European version of the third Phoenix Wright game is out, I need to buy all the ones I'm missing! XDD My bank account is crying Oh... and I need to d homework, STUDY, and write a French composition (due tomorrow). YAAAAY!!! 26 happy summers | smile with me

School and TV [Sunday September 28th, 2008] [ mood | worried ] Gosh… a month of school and I haven’t really accomplished anything.. at all. At least I haven’t skipped school yet, besides a Japanese lesson (because of the awful hangover).. but I really need that improvement. I don’t know.. I just can’t focus.. I’m slow and I don’t get things done because of those two factors, even when I try... (Next step is to use a point system.. oh yay.. :D) And on school: miruja, at sociology, do you sit in the third row on the right and arrive quite early with a lot of papers/school work? (I thought that I might be you, but I was too scared of embarrassing myself in case it wasn’t..) Uh.. and I’ve been thinking of getting an appointment at our university’s health care whatever.. but since I’m too scared to phone, and I’m not sure if I can go right to the mental health care and aah.. well, it has to be done, eventually, so the best bet is to go to one of the places and ask and look like a complete idiot. FUN! And on more positive issues, this was the week a lot of shows premiered and obviously some continued. First Heroes Cut for MAJOR spoilers. :D ( Heroes ep 3x01-02 ) Prison Break 5 eps in, looking MUCH better than I expected. I’m really enjoying this season. :D There’s the whole “Mission: Impossible” (and I just love that film, btw.) and the plot reminds me of a shonen manga… (what? It DOES! And I love those kind of shonen manga. :D), so the combination of those: AWESOME. Survivor: Gabon Wow. The double ep: AWESOME. Though my opinion on Survivor does depend on how far my faves get. :D Overall I like the whole group of individuals (that seem more like individuals than a group) and I obviously already know their names, nicknames professions and fake professions. :D Favourites however: -The shy, scrawny(does that boy eat?? ), dorky, geeky professional video gamer (apparently he’s like.. the best in the world at that. Awesome), who’s only 12 days older than me. :D (oh yeah: birth year and month bias. :D) -The two male lawyers. :D (who DARN it are on different tribes! For same reason seem very sweet, friendly, kind and adorable.. and not really sneaky at all, but time will tell.) -The physics teacher (an older man, who’s smart, likeable and kind of kick ass. I hope he makes it far. :D) -The doctor (who seems to have a great rational approach(something I admire) and is absolutely okay with another male having a crush on him: GREAT plus. :D ) And I also like the medical sales women, who’re in the “onion alliance” along with the doctor and other lawyer. :D Mainly because.. I like the alliance, which is like out of a shoujo manga (seriously: the two females and one guy crushing on the other guy? *dies laughing* He totally picked the right people to align with. :D Oh.. those Gary-Stus..) Great TV, but with my luck it will get axed due to a tribe switch or something really stupid. Darn it! I want my shoujo manga plot with BL undertones!! XDD (Also: IF it survives, with the whole good vs. evil thing that will apparently eventually occur, I'd be guessing: evil. Darn it.) Well.. at least there’s the PB: Mission: Impossible/Shonen manga plot. :D Boston Legal Same good old Boston Legal. :D Maybe cutting down major characters without adding new ones this time, will help distribute screen time. :D Grey’s Anatomy Quite okay. It might be getting better, actually... Ugly Betty Yay! They killed the thing that made the previous season annoying. Good for them!! And I like the new “direction”. I hope it sticks.. Besides seeing manga in TV shows.. I bought some actual manga: The Phoenix Wright manga, which was not at all like I expected it to be.. but I bought it anyway.. I mean I HAD to after all. :D It’s actually story-wise and art-wise more of a doujinshi than a manga to me. Short, totally random and weird stories involving the characters and making fun of them. No plot, no actual cases (unless you count stuff like “who stole the manju?” as a case”).. which makes the whole “casebook” name misleading… but it’s quite enjoyable, though prob. not something for a non-fan.. I felt I would have enjoyed it more, if I’d played the other games… Also bought "Koi Cha No Osahou" (Tea for Two), which I spent a long time thinking about, and I haven’t read it yet.. anyway hodgesaaaargh, don’t buy it! Had dreams of doctors, possibly fatal operations (on me, of course), shooting(narrowly avoiding getting shot myself).. kind of scary. Before I watched the TV shows, though. I’ve been freaked out by the shooting incident this week. It’s been just frightening…. Last but not least: From vierran45: ( PERSONAL meme ) 32 happy summers | smile with me

OMG, OMG, OMG [Tuesday September 23rd, 2008] [ mood | scared ] It was hard to concentrate on the lecture after the teacher mentioned another school tragedy, and I obviously had to get to the net right after that. And to get this off my chest: OMG, ANOTHER school shooting! This time at a polytechnics(during a test) further away. Nine dead. A fire. The shooter (a student of that school) hospitalised. I'm also a little freaked out, since I was contemplating "what if..."(I have no idea why.. my thoughts can be morbid, but...) around the same time it actually took place. *shivers* I guess no school is completely safe and who knows what crazy stuff could happen ANYWHERE? I feel worried just sitting at a lecture thinking that someone might barge in and start shooting. Gives a new meaning to skipping classes. Seriously, nobody should own a gun. This is horrible. I feel bad for everyone who has been directly (or indirectly) affected by this. *cries* EDIT: actually it's 10 dead the shooter(who died later in the hospital), which means.. 11 dead. The flags were at half-mast today. :( Hopefully according to the pattern the next target won't be a university... or that there will be a next time at all. I just doubt that... 20 happy summers | smile with me

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