| Game of thrones season 2!! |
[Tuesday
April 3rd, 2012] |
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Short post just to express my enthusiasm! After 10 hours at university it definitely felt good to suddenly remember that the 2nd season had started. Yay! I spent a few minutes checking the opening credits for sigils (okay, I replayed it also just for the fun of it), but I did keep my eyes peeled for new locations. DRAGONSTONE!!! Oh, Davos. :) I don't know how I feel about Stannis. He seems different from what I'd imagined. A little too... tame. But who knows. TV!Renly was quite a bit different to book!Renly and I like him anyway. :) (I hope to see the amusing "altercation" play out later) Melisandre is already getting on my nerves. More than Dany. Actually I still like TV!Dany. Also: Still loving to hate Joffrey and Cersei. Not much changed there. I'm looking especially forward to (and maybe even dreading. :))episodes 3 and 4. And 5.
On other notes: It's snowing in April. Need to finish my seminar crap, prepare for the presentation, study for entrance exams, study just in general, some stupid essay (again), finally hand in my Bertolt Brecht essay I still need to proofread... but I spent another few hours checking my Spanish composition and I can't stand proofreading for some time. GAH. I think there's something else I need to do... I'm hungry... I should probably eat. (Although I haven't lost ANY weight despite being on a diet and actually eating healthily for already 3 months. :( )
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| Maybe... |
[Sunday
February 12th, 2012] |
| [ |
mood |
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contemplative |
] |
Okay, so despite being under the impression that I would have an easier time with my school, since I don't have that many courses, I have come to realise that when I actually try to do something concrete (this meaning actual studying), it's not really that easy. However, I must admit that I definitely prefer this to the "many courses not doing anything dropping a few just passing the rest without studying" alternative. I LIKE stressing about school, because compared to my usual stressing about myself and my life it's so much better. Besides, when I've actually got some work done, I feel good about myself. Before, with my level of commitment I haven't even deserved to pass most of my courses and I've just felt worse about my lazy loser self. Of course I probably won't do much better even if(when) I study, but at least I don't feel as bad. I think that's what it's supposed to be at uni as well. :) Stressing about the work and using time to actually do it; constantly and not in the last minute and only regarding those courses for which one actually has to hand in some evidence to show that work has been done. (Assignments) I still don't feel that great about myself, but I'm doing things little by little and prioritising a bit more, so that already contributes to my well-being as opposed to not doing anything because I hate myself and thus hating myself even more and there's THAT unfortunate cycle. Procrastinating is evil and gets worse the more stuff is left undone and piling up into a huge heap in and around me. I have in mind to do at least a little of something everyday and with time running out I'll just have to choose what's most important. I hate having to give up exercise because of studying, but it has lately been so cold anyway, I haven't been able to jog outside without risking my health (now it's better so I did go. ;)). And speaking of health I HAVE indeed been eating healthily. I hope it sticks. I hope my studying sticks (I'm afraid it won't...) I hope I won't fall into an abyss of desperation and depression (LIKE ALWAYS EVERY YEAR DESPITE VOWING TO MAKE A CHANGE) I mean, it's the 6th year of uni(including the year I "quit"). I should have learned how to be a bit better student (actually I should have already graduated. HAH). It's not like I've NEVER studied AT ALL. There have been a few(very few) bright incidents (and the constant entrance exams I never pass) and in the end I usually manage to scrape enough info into by brain to pass. It's just that I'm not happy with how things have gone down and I feel guilty about not putting enough effort into something that's supposed to be important. (The problem being that I think I'm studying useless crap most of the time, and even when I'm not I have problem concentrating) Yes. I'm a failure. Yes. I fail even when I try. Concerning the outcome there's (often) no use trying, but concerning my well-being, there is.
UGH. So little time. even when NOT procrastinating
Also, R.I.P. Whitney Houston. :(
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| Hey, look, I'm posting. |
[Saturday
January 21st, 2012] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!
Yes, it’s a bit late, but I haven’t quite been able to do anything and now it’s back to school after the "holidays" during which I was supposed to write a few essays, transcribe, work on my Masters and study for a test and ended up… well I kind of studied a bit for the test in the last minute and a few hours before (I woke up at six o’clock, despite normally going to bed at that time… Yay for perseverance!) and of course the questions where on topics I hadn’t read, but I was NOT going to leave an empty paper, and ended up JUST passing with my made up answers. (Yay for perseverance!). All the rest… I kind of started, but never really got there… I absolutely HAVE TO this week(end), because otherwise I’m completely screwed. And then there’s studying for the next tests. I’ve been less depressed this year, which is a good sign, but my own insecurities are still holding me back. I made a promise to myself that if I’m able to pass the test with barely studying, I’m going to make an effort to NOT waste my brains and potential, which I would consequently obviously have. I just have to hope that my mind and body won’t fail, like they usually do, because then not even perseverance can help my completely messed up state. Visiting a psychologist has made it worse as well, but I’m not giving up on that either. ( Read more... )
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| Me, school, meme |
[Wednesday
October 19th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
I’m turning 26 soon. UGH. No, it’s not old, but it’s closer to 30 than 20 and given the little I’ve accomplished and the state my life is in, it’s really very depressing. Anyway, yesterday I went with a friend to see a film to celebrate her birthday, which was last month. We went with the usual “let’s see what there is” tactic and chose “Abduction” which was pretty much what we expected. An entertaining and enjoyable film, but nothing incredible. We joked that we will remember it for how we bought our tickets. I asked for two tickets and the person selling tickets asked for ages. Me: WHAT?! My friend: I’m 24 At that point even I had registered the situation and we were both laughing. I didn’t get to answer, but I suppose our reactions were enough. It was sort of amusing, because in the queue I had just been lamenting my age and my friend had said that she had reached the point when people mistaking her for someone younger is a compliment. Getting carded while buying alcohol is very much hoped for, but when one is buying tickets for a film rated not under fifteen , that’s something else. :) I felt a lot better about getting older, but I hope I’ll be able to look over 10 years younger in the future. :) I feel like I’ll prob. end up aging 10 years in one day or something ( a bit on school and meme )
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| Karin |
[Wednesday
September 28th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
Maybe I'll try going to be early today... Probably not, especially since I haven't finished my homework for tomorrow. At least I'm not going to bed at 6 in the morning anymore. But I'm lucky if I make it by two. Four is the usual time. Surprisingly, despite needing 10 hours a sleep a day I aven't been falling asleep at school. (It helps that Tuesdays are off and I sleep all day). Speaking of school, I've been screwing up. I'm a horrible student, I haven't perpared for anything I'm supposed to, haven't studied and tomorrow I need to meet the teacher to discuss my topic for my Master's/Seminar, since I ended up missing the lesson, because I got the time wrong. Of course I did.Okay, enough with the negativity. Positive: BAYERN! Gosh, I love the way they're playing. When the groups for the CL were announced, I was a little wary, especially of ManCity, but the others as well, since overall it's quite a tough group. Despite the great form, I was still a little nervous, but watching the game destroyed that. :) (Okay, I was sort of nervous about ManCity scoring at all.. since I kind of like the consistant clean sheet. XDD) I will continue to be nervous when the next big teams comes along to test the surprisingly great defence I'm getting used to now, because it's a little bizarre. I don't know... the awesomeness can't continue forever.. right? Even so, the team continues to be a team with a controlled yet fearless playing style. And I hope for them to keep up the great attitude they have going. Also: A while ago I read an enjoyable manga (and then watched the enjoyable anime), Karin. I actually had a dream in which I enjoyed the manga and really liked the main pairing. I had noticed the manga since it wasn’t that long ago released in Finnish and of course I had read the back cover, so I had a vague idea what it was about, but nothing concrete enough for my dream to be based on. Anyway, after the dream I looked a bit more into it, but only quite a bit later at the library did I remember that I could check it out. Luckily all the volumes were out and all but the last one available at the library either in Finnish or English. I borrowed the first two and returned to get the rest the next day (and had to resort to read the last on my comp, because I couldn’t wait.) I enjoyed it much more than I expected given the vampire element and shoujo love story element that pretty much form together the whole basis for the story(except it turns out that the manga is shounen). However, the vampire element is quite atypical(the main character is a sort of “reverse vampire”, ejecting blood rather than sucking it) and I freaking love the main couple. So yes, my dream turned out to be correct in all aspects, although there was no way my subconscious could have known anything. I think I enjoyed it specifically, because the development of the main couple just worked so well and had me really rooting for them, in addition to all the smile and “awww” inducing moments. I like both characters, they don’t frustrate me with their unnecessary shenanigans and most importantly NO FREAKING LOVE TRIANGLES. Karin and Kenta’s romantic story is a lot different from the ones of many anime /manga couples/pairings. Pretty much all the stuff that normally annoys me is absent. ;) I can't even think of any normally annoying tropes that just work in this context, probably because there aren't any.
( Why Kenta/Karin is awesome )
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| Compulsory post on the beginning of crappy school |
[Saturday
September 17th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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stressed |
] |
The 2nd week is already behind me and I don't really feel any different. Probably because I already had some French during the end of the summer so the transition wasn't that big and because I'm just depressed and unmotivated in general. However, on the first day I actually left to school in tears and felt absolutely awful the whole day. A few days ago I started hyperventilating and decided to skip my first lessons, because I was seriously freaking out. (And it just happened that when I finally dragged my arse to the university the other lessons I had were cancelled, so that was for nothing). I don't really blame school, I should be getting help, but I keep procrastinating that as well. Anyway, my lessons for this semester are:
-Seminar (UGH. The most important, because it’s preparation for the Master’s thesis, but it would be good to already have a topic and start working on it! The teacher is currently annoyed with me and my undecided, unmotivated self) -Colloquium (Uhm, I'm not sure what this is, I don't know what's going on and I can hardly open my mouth during the lesson, because I'm so scared. I need to give an oral presentation soon..) -German literature course(on Bertolt Brecht) - Work experience crap (got postponed till the next period) -Spanish (I’ve never sucked this much at a language in comparison to my efforts. I hardly even passed the previous course, but I do want to learn this language, so I'm trying) -Russian (the hardest language I’ve ever had and I feel I’m falling even further behind, since I’ve forgotten almost everything during the summer holiday and I was supposed to revise it.) +Other stuff: stupid essay I have to write, stupid psycho test I have to take, stupid abstract I have to write to get that degree(which I should already have, but I keep on procrastinating)
#On something more positive: FOOTBALL! Ah, the Champion's League!! I'm not able to watch much since my computer is slow, but I caught Bayern's game against Villareal. ;) (And Barca vs. Milan was on TV ;) ) Gosh, I really liked the way they played. They seemed to be just working really well and functioning as a team of course since Robben wasn't playing XDD. I think in general they seem to be just really getting somewhere, despite the few (continuous) problems with not always utilising their chances(and there's always the defense, but it has looked good in the previous games that I've seen)... Then of course there was the 7-0 hammering I also caught last week... to think that it could have been more I still fear ManCity though. :) I think that it will be a great test. *hopes to see it on TV* Tomorrrow: Schalke! (I'm very much for Schalke otherwise, because I’m rooting for Pukki to succeed, but we'll see if he'll even play. Personally, I was surprised that he was even on the bench last week)
#My brother's in London. Or he'll be back soon. I hope he brings me something. ;)
#My slow computer frustrates me
#I should study. Crap.
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| HJK! HJK! |
[Thursday
August 18th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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cheerful |
] |
Just got back from the stadium! Freaking awesome!! I honestly did not expect HJK to even draw let alone win, but I suppose in hindsight it sort of makes sense. (But still... they made Schalke look freaking awful...) It's not often that they get a full stadium. (I've never been there before, although I've been saying for a while that I'd like to go and watch them. I just never got anyone to come with me before today...) So, it's not that surprising that they were extra pumped, especially with an opponent that not too long ago played in the freaking Champions League semi-finals. Also, perhaps Schalke underestimated HJK?? (After all they had just beaten Köln 5-1, and Köln should be a lot better than a Finnish league team...) They really didn't seem in it, hardly had any chances... I think they were a little more dangerous in the 2nd half, whereas (IMO) HJK dominated the first, but it didn't lead anywhere. HJK's defence really held strong(I was actually impressed). And HJK... heck, if they hadn't messed up a few of their chances, the result might be even more awesome. :) Seriously, I was worried that Schalke would come back somehow, but no. They did get a bit better and weren’t letting HJK players run through and past their defence quite as often and actually started creating chances in the offence, but it wasn’t enough. Anyway!! The away game next week! I hope it's on TV... gosh. I don't really see Schalke underestimating them again, and they do have the home advantage. (Buut... I'm happy that at least tonight HJK showed what they can do. :) )
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| Green Lantern (and yes, again comparing to anime) |
[Friday
August 12th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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tired |
] |
I went to see Green Lantern, which everyone hasn’t seen, since it just came out here and nobody was interested enough to watch it with me, so I went alone. Actually, I’m feeling quite okay with going to the cinema alone now. I pretty much knew nothing about it before, although I did know what the green lanterns are and that Hal Jordan is the most iconic of them (at least I think, since I actually know that name and to associate him with the original Justice League), but it’s far from the knowledge on Superman, Batman, Spiderman etc. I didn’t want to do any research beforehand either, but just go there and see it as any other film, without any comic books sources to compare it to. That being said I enjoyed it immensely. I really liked the portrayal of Hal as a cocky, rash, unintentionally insensitive, but a genuinely good-hearted and strong willed individual. He sort of reminded me of Taichi from Digimon, a perception further strengthened by the theme of the film, which centred on fear, courage and weaknesses and strengths of an individual. Hal goes through similar struggles concerning fear and facing (overcoming) it, trying to find his role in his new position, screwing up and acknowledging his weaknesses and failings as part of his character and as something to improve on. And then of course there’s the part of being the “chosen one” (one of the chosen ones actually, but the film obviously centres on him) precisely because of his inner qualities, and the power he has is based on will and his strength I how strong he is as a person. (very Digimon-esque) There’s also the interesting concept of how the power that is used corresponds to the person's imagination, inner thoughts, his/her character etc. And how similar people, or people in similar situation can turn out oh so very different. Despite his big heroic moments one especially reminding me more of Masaru, Hal needs others, he confides in them, they give him strength and advice as well that ends up being very vital. (To put it mildly). All that contributes further to his development as a person and tackling his issues pulling through in the end, having actually listened to the advice and learned(yeah, a Digimon thing again,). Most of the other supporting characters aren’t really that developed though, but the little I saw was quite likable (and the film was about Hal after all) Maybe the main villain is a little clichéd, although on the other hand the big bad is actually something else entirely, not actually a being, and (like in Digimon) it’s a fight with inner strength against something preying on weaknesses. I didn’t think it was very “super heroish”... but more like a shonen anime?? It was definitely a lot more sci-fi with the whole group of intergalactic space police and the main character becoming one of them, and the small thing about saving his world as well as others from an outside force. I really hope for a sequel (since there was the cliff hanger), but the box office hasn’t been that great and critics haven’t loved it. I don’t know… I think there’s less interest, since GL isn’t as well-known as other super hero films and the latest DC comic book film was the freaking Dark Knight. Yes, it wasn’t as epic, but I left the cinema grinning and in a good mood(which is quite big for me) mainly, because it had a very uplifting feel to it. In general it sends quite a positive message and is quite straightforward in its approach. And that’s okay too. One can be quite poignant without being ambiguous. I thoroughly enjoyed it, found it entertaining and enrapturing. It was different to what I expected, but I didn’t expect much, and in the end it’s very much a type of film that I do enjoy.
Also: I have tickets to the HJK-Schalke Europa League play-off. Bloody expensive ones. My Dad paid and refused to let me pay any bit of the price at all. Also2: went to bed late and turned the lights off at six o'clock when my Mum... got up. Rythym all over the place, eating horribly, should be studying... same old.
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| Yay, Sirens. :) |
[Tuesday
August 9th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
I love "Sirens". I figured that I’d watch it anyway, because well… Richard Madden… playing a promiscuous gay character. Yes. There are ways to convince me. But I suppose I didn’t expect to like it quite that much?? I’m sceptical when it comes to anything close to a medical drama and this wasn’t really, since it centres on the job of paramedics (with the added bonus of the police and firemen). Besides, it focuses less on the actual profession and more on how it affects the characters and how these very different, realistic individuals deal with their personal issues and their life in general. (Strangely, I can identify in some way with ALL of the four main characters, even the token female, which is quite exceptional.) I really like the dynamic between the ambulance trio. They act like jerks towards others and each other are not necessarily very close emotionally (though working on it?) but do come through for each other when it matters. Their interactions with each other vary from hilarious and entertaining to touching and sweet and that’s kind of the feel of the show in general. To me it’s much more of a comedy than a drama, despite the serious topics and premise. The overall feel and atmosphere are more light-hearted and comical than serious, but it’s not like the darker side is only played for laughs. I think the series manages to balance comedy and drama in a way that serious matters aren’t completely depressing, but not glossed over either and creates an entertaining and quite insightful entity with realistic seeming events and characters. At least to me everything comes across as natural and genuine. Aah… the long wait for the 2nd season, but at least there IS a 2nd season.. I think… Looking forward to that then.
Seriously, it’s awesome. WATCH IT!
PS: Thanks to my waking up late and my computer being so slow I only managed to reserve the most expensive tickets to the game. I had reasonable tickets before, then my computer threw me out and when I tried to reserve them again, they were gone. Sucks. I'm still thinking whether I'll take them. My Dad's fine with it, but it's not like I want him to pay that much either. GAH.
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| Since the leagues are starting... |
[Monday
August 8th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
-The beginning of the Bundesliga!!! Yaaay!!!! And yay for Mainz winning something and not so much yay for Bayern losing their first (home!) game of the season. At last I got a sort of stream for my super slow mini laptop to work for that game, so I think I managed to see most of it??? (Otherwise I listened to the BuLi radio) Can’t say that Neuer did enough to win me over, but I doubt that will happen anyway. Besides, everyone makes mistakes, and I actually felt bad for him. Well, it's just the start of the season, so there are enough chances. Besides, I honestly wasn’t expecting much in general. It’s been a while since I’ve seen the team really play and I think they need time to properly come together, but I have hope. I always have. Especially, since there really have been some great moments. (Even without goals.:) ) And starting the season with a loss is actually good luck. :)
-Schalke will be coming here to play against HJK next week!! (The Europa League play offs. : ) I’ll see if I’ll be able to get tickets, but on the other hand they’re really expensive. (Not that my Dad cares that much. He'd prob. rather have good seats, whereas I'm thinking about the cheapest ones...). Anyway, I’ll be rooting for HJK (my home team!) even if I’m really more into watching Schalke. :)
(Oh and since we got Spain in our World Cup qualification group, I hope to eventually see them here as well. :) Oh, and maybe France. We’re so not qualifying for that tournament either. Well… maybe the Euros in 2016? ;) )
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| A Dance With Dragons |
[Tuesday
July 19th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
I would have thought I'd be quicker... But oh well, ramble with spoilers ahead on the 5th book, which actually changed a few of my perceptions of some characters and my general feeling of the series, which on its own, makes it quite remarkable, despite the tediousness from time to time. ( random rambling on a dance with dragons )
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| Harry Potter 8 |
[Thursday
July 14th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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sleepy |
] |
At least I saw the final film on time. :) In anticipation of it, there was a showing for each of the previous films, so I caught the 7th one a few days before and probably was the only one in the auditorium who hadn't seen it before. :) And I re-read the book as well (I still have to re-read the last two in German and Swedish) Overall, I was relatively pleased. I don't really expect the films to completely correspond to the book(and don't think they should), but the last ones proved to be quite faithful to the book (obviously, some stuff was changed, but I was in general okay with it). They also felt so much darker and intense. I know that they have been becoming that gradually anyway, but I still feel that the last two were something else. (Or then I just don't remember the 6th that well..) The atmosphere was so dark, there was just so much... death. I don't remember tearing up at all when I read the 7th book, but I was really moved watching the 8th film especially (and could have easily cried if I hadn't been in a auditorium full of people. I think a girl behind me was sobbing... it sounded like it anyway...). Overall, I felt that the last two films captured the spirit of the the last book really well and were enjoyable to watch.
( more thoughts )
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| A Song of Ice and Fire - part two |
[Wednesday
July 13th, 2011] |
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I actually bought the gigantic 5th book already, which in its giganticness and hardcover-ness cost as much as the four previous books together. Yes, I’ll angst about it a little bit, because I glanced through the book and there seemed to be a LOT of Dany. Well, at least I’m not in THAT much of a hurry to start. I need to finish rereading the 7th Harry Potter book before seeing the film first. :) So the ramble is still based on the four first books… and really only on the characters. :) When it come to the characters in this series I don’t have massive hate or love for any. Okay, I really detest Dany, but that’s mainly because I find her characterisation… quite bad. What I mean is, that since so many characters do a lot of despicable things, I can’t really condemn one and then forgive the other, since it doesn’t seem “fair” to me. Basically, I like the characters mainly because of their interesting portrayal in the books, not because I think they’d be wonderful people in real life. Granted, I am drawn to the personalities as well and will dislike others because of their personalities, but for me it’s not the only defining factor. Neither is whether they’re more good or more evil, because who can really tell, anyway? It depends how you want to judge(and yes, I’ll judge my way ;) ) The characters do a lot of questionable things, make a lot of stupid decisions, but I like seeing and understanding what’s behind their actions, what actually motivates them to do the things to do and take them as far as they do. Even among the worst cases they still have their redeeming qualities (well, maybe not Joffrey, or the Mountain, but they don’t have POVs, so what do we really know?) and even the more moral ones are far from saints. (besides little kids like Myrcella and Tommen..) I will hate some of my favourite characters from time to time and love some I don’t really care for. And of course… there are those I just love to hate. ;) I did watch most of the TV series first before I read the books, so it definitely influenced me a bit. ;) ( on characters, spoiler warning ) Yeah… there are quite few I like actually, and more important ones, but this started getting long again… and I wanted to post this before reading the 5th book. DDD
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| A Song of Ice and Fire - awesome epic |
[Sunday
July 10th, 2011] |
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So, I finally finished reading the four books in the series "A Song of Ice and Fire", which I had heard of before, but hadn’t ever read. (Probably because they were hard to find in libraries. I checked. And besides, I’m not that partial to fantasy in general.). Of course, since the TV series was so enthralling, I just HAD to read the books as well. The publishers had correctly anticipated the flood of new fans the TV show would generate and I found a nice box with the first four books and HBO logos. (As if we didn’t know. That’s why I was there. ;) ) I originally thought I’d just buy the first two, but four together wasn’t much more expensive anyway so I bought the box, and I’m glad I did. Looking forward to the new book coming out next week(don’t know if it will be here at the same time, but I will be checking) but not that much, since it will feature more of my less favourite characters and events and less of the stuff that interests me the most, but of course I’ll happily read it. I’m more interested in the book that comes after that… goodness knows when and by then my eagerness will have significantly died down. Not that it will stop me from loving it or grabbing it excitedly… Anyway, I felt like I took a really long time reading these books. :) I originally was going to wait until I finished a few others, but I kept on reading random excerpts without properly getting into the story, so I had to start. :) (And even then I kept on jumping ahead, surfing the net and completely spoiling myself). I loved the first book, during the second started getting stuck, but developed the style of reading the more interesting POVs first before moving on to the boring ones (some story lines are detached enough for this to work… sort of). Due to not being able to absorb everything (or remember everything) with one reading and just in general lacking the ability to put my thoughts into words the ramble won’t include everything I want. And I’m not sure if it’s even a ramble. However, these would be my first thoughts that I tried to put together to sound somewhat cohererent. :)
( long but not soilerly ramble/review ) This is more of a review than and exciting ramble(who even read this? XDD). I think I’ll continue later with the excited ramble on characters and stuff… because this already turned out too long.
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[Monday
July 4th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
I honestly didn’t think I would be watching something like “Teen Wolf”. Yes, it’s about a high school student, who is bitten by a werewolf, which ends up affecting his life quite a deal. And the wolf that bit him is the one behind a few killings occurring in the neighbourhood… Seriously, it’s a lot better than it sounds. It’s no masterpiece by any means (and a few issues need suspension of disbelief) but it’s quite entertaining and exciting even. Eagerly waiting for the next episode. ( pros and je )
On a crappier note: I need to take a break from the comp that gets on my nerves (or just use the uni comps). It’s just so slow and I don't have enough patience to wait 5 minutes for a page to load.
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| On TV shows |
[Sunday
June 26th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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confused |
] |
This is freakishly late even if the last ep of series I've been watching aired last Monday, but whatever. (And the 4th season of True Blood starts today! yay for summer series??) I should be studying. Why can't I do that?? I'm missing one book for my psych test on freaking brains, but I have the other one... (which is less disgusting than the book I'm missing) Cut for length. I've tried to avoid spoilers... there's mentioning of weddings, but that's it, really. And there were quite a few weddings...out of the shows I watched 4 had weddings, then there was the almost wedding, and some engagements... ( TV shows )
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| Posting.... finally. Watching anime...finally. |
[Sunday
June 19th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
confused |
] |
I’m trying to get a little better. I spent (I think )5 weeks indoors unable to face people and now I’m going outside every now and then (depending on how crappy I feel). Obviously I’m horribly fat and disgusting, so I need to get that in order before I see people. I also need to study, since I’m taking French in the summer and hopefully FINALLY that psychology test I’ve been trying to manage for 4 years. (It’s the only course missing from my degree). Of course, I’ve pretty much just been lazying around, watching TV, reading(this is actually good)…. I hope to write again… but that’s going pretty crappily. I actually watched an anime series. This is notable, because since my bad depression 5 years ago (and other bouts of depression… really I can’t tell the difference anymore), I sort of stopped. Anyway, I watched “Togainu no chi” that is supposedly based on BL game, but you would never know it, because there is no BL to speak of in the actual series. Well, okay there is one character who likes making young pretty boys his slaves (also for sex I believe), but that is not really shown. Otherwise, there are just a few hints (and I definitely think that one could interpret the “friendship” as something more). Not that it actually bothered me. Despite the premise of the series being quite weak and the plot in general seeming not that incredibly developed, it was strangely enjoyable. I suppose I found some of the characters quite interesting, although there wasn’t much room for proper development. I especially liked the main character (Akira) and his BFF (Keisuke). The cliffhanger ending was quite disappointing and in the end I’m not really sure what the main story really was about. I think I understand the point of it, which I suppose is the most important, but I didn’t really get a proper picture of the world the events took place in and I felt that I needed to know more about the characters. However, it succeeded in getting me interested and capturing my attention enough for me to watch all the eps at once (and I originally thought that I’d only have time for maybe three) And by at once, I mean that I actually went to bed in between and continued in the morning. About thirty seconds before the ending of the last episode my friend phoned me, so the final cliffhanger part I watched 2 hours later (yeah, it was a long phone call and my brother stopped by) was far from effective. I think I yelled (mainly at my brother who was in the room at that moment) something along the lines of “Was that it?? That sucks!” The series is based on a game though; a game with multiple storylines and endings, so I suppose it was tough to make a satisfactory ending or perfect adaptation for that matter. And overall, I’d say that I was happy enough with it. (Even if some things did annoy me. Darn it!!) Then I tried watching” Kuroshitsuji” and managed one episode. I managed about half an episode of “Durarara!!” before I got bored. I’ll probably give them another chance. I have a looong list and I’ll probably proceed one at a time. (Probably. If I proceed at all.)
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| Eurovison |
[Monday
May 16th, 2011] |
Compulsory entry on the Eurovision, although I'm kind of slow and late... and nobody cares anymore. ;)
Congrats, Azerbaijan!!! I really liked the song and knew it would be a TOP 5 one, but didn’t think it would win until I saw the performance order… Still, I wasn’t completely sure. I figured that this year would we quite exciting, since there were (IMO) quite a few good ones. It makes sense that a cute one like this, that wasn’t that similar to a lot of songs that DID share a similar performance order as well as the style, won during a year with tough competition. VERY surprised that Italy was 2nd. And a little annoyed that they just went past Sweden in the end… (since the winning song is also made by Swedes, they could have had the first two spots XD) Buuut… I think it was great to come back after such a long time with an awesome place. :) Happy that my number one fave got at least 3rd place. I honestly didn’t think they’d do so well judging by what I’ve read. But the internet and German press are quite the minority. ;) Same with Greece (number 2 fave in 7th place). I feared that people, might not “get it”(on the other hand it had the advantage of standing out) And each of those won their own semi (Greece even ahead of Azerbaijan), so DOUBLEYAY!! Finland.. oh, THIRD in our semi right after the eventual winner and only 21st in the final. :( Oh well. The great placing in the semi final and the press award for the best song are more than just consolation prizes. I’m proud of our entry and artist. :) Overall the voting was weird. Drastic differences even between the semis and the final… It seemed to come down to quite little in the end. The eventual order doesn’t actually say as much as it normally would. I wonder how the points went between the jury and phones? I think Sweden might have won the televote, Italy the jury and Azerbaijan was near the top in both.. (which would kind of suck for Sweden, since the new rules haven’t been around for long, but who knows...) Btw. Sweden got votes from most countries. (yaaayy!) followed by Italy, and then Azerbaijan. Overall they were pretty universally liked. :) It’s strange how many songs I actually ended up really liking. I think there were less of those “okay” songs than normal… which is usually the majority. On the flip side… I think there were more songs I didn’t like. My top faves were Sweden(crazily catchy with an awesome homoerotic performance XD), Greece(absolutely lovely, and I LOVE the contrasts between the old and new.) and Estonia(cute, quirky, really catchy). Others I liked: Finland, Ukraine, Azerbaijan, Bosnia&Herzegovina, Spain, Iceland, Denmark, Russia, Ireland, the UK(!!!), Romania, Hungary, France. From those that didn’t qualify(only from the 2nd semi): FYR Macedonia, the Netherlands, Belarus, Israel Despite liking quite a few, it was easy to cut down. I voted for my clear TOP 3 and Iceland(because I couldn’t resist the backstory) Two of them did better than I expected and the other two… not so well. My Dad liked Italy, since he’s a jazz fan, but otherwise he refused to give much of an opinion(he also got bored about half way anyway). My Mum liked Finland, Sweden, Russia, Greece, Estonia and Spain. (Denmark and Azerbaijan were fine as well) and disliked all the countries with female lead singers(besides the two I mentioned) + Moldova. ;)
other stuff: -Those “beats” were very distracting, but I really liked the “postcards”. :) I liked seeing/recognising the familiar places in Germany(going: I’ve been there!!) and “feel your heartbeat” in different languages( btw. I think if we’re going with all the official languages I suppose the Finnish one should have included in Swedish and the Maltese in English…) I thought it was a really nice idea to show representatives of each participating country in random functions and locations in Germany -The green room looked really cool. :) -Didn’t feel the hosts… Or the halftime shows… the opening number was kind of cool, but even one Lena is too much for me. -I loved that Danny Saucedo, the 2nd in Sweden’s Eurovision selection, was wearing an “Eric Saade” T-shirt while announcing the points. :) (Awwww~) -Dima Bilan announcing the points for Russia! (and other former artists as well.. it’s fun to see them ;)) -Slovenia’s tribute to Paul the octopus -Our contestant, Oskar/Axel holding up a sign rooting for our Lions in the WC final. :) (WE WON!) -People should shut up about the neighbour voting(and look at the statistics, idiots!) Sure, there is bias and some countries are at a disadvantage, but this year, if any, I saw less of it. But sore losers will find any reason to complain. Neighbour voting only sucks when it doesn’t benefit the losers and actually even if it DOES, it still sucks, if the losers are still losers, despite neighbour votes. And why does that even have to be such a big deal anyway?? Of course I like rooting for the songs I liked and am disappointed that we didn’t do as well as expected, but I’m not going to go looking for reasons why(well, I do ponder a little. ;) ) or play the blame game. Stuff happens. Overall the Eurovision is a fun show and the points are part of the excitement. Sure, I’m happy to see my faves and my country do well, but it’s not the main point. It’s harmless fun and faaar from serious business. Not everyone, who watches the show even votes anyway. ;) -What's "Europe" anyway?? For goodness sake, even if it were called "European song contest" if the country belongs to the union there should be no question about its right to participate.
Okay... cut for rambling on all the songs. ( The final and semis )
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| WORLD CHAMPIONS! GO, LIONS!!!! |
[Sunday
May 15th, 2011] |
FINLAND HAS WON THE ICE HOCKEY WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!! Aweeesooomeeee, Lions!!!!! This is the 2nd time we’ve won it… the first time was 16 years ago, also against Sweden in the final after a small thrashing of 4-1. Now the result was an even better 6-1!!!! Finland definitely does better after being a goal down. XDD Seriously though... I wouldn't have thought that we'd have to wait for a freaking 16 years to win again... Oh well, enjoying the moment. :) Yaaaayyy!!
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| We're in the final! |
[Saturday
May 14th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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uncomfortable |
] |
Both finals! XDD But yeah, it's pretty great to be in the final in the ice hockey world championships especially against Sweden. ;) I've been keeping track of what's going on, but haven't been following as much as I normally would (my issues), but I did have to see the semi against Russia. :D (And SO root for facing Sweden. :D) The first goal was a spectacular masterpiece. :)
Anyway.. one country won't need to fret the Eurovision disappointment too much. Not that I know what will happen, but I'm feeling a little negative about tonight. In general I've been having a hard time getting into anything. I honestly don't want to whine too much... Just explain. I've been going through some serious problems, and I don't know when I'll be able to... start functioning again properly. I haven't been outside in weeks(more than a few minutes, because I’ve had no other choice)... I missed all my last lessons and test. I have a chance next week as well.. but I fear that I'll curl up into a ball and cry again. On the bright side: I finished my thesis(didn't need to go to school for that) and managed to send it 1 minute before the deadline. Actually I needed more time, but I ran into some technical problems as well as the mental ones that hindered the completion.
Also: the anticlimactic BuLi is over. I’m SOOO happy for Mainz achieving their best result EVER and even making it to the Europa League. Good job!! (Especially considering how many much bigger clubs they left behind and how they, yet again, were considered favourites to be relegated. Oh, and Hannover too, while not as small as Mainz, but since they were almost relegated last year, coming in freaking 4th place after that must feel good) At least Bayern has the chance to qualify for the CL, so the season wasn’t THAT bad. I’m looking forward to the next season!! :D It’s also kind of cool that now since Hyypiä is retiring, he’ll be coaching at Leverkusen… and working with the national team :) He’s had a pretty amazing career club-wise and has been a very integral part of our humble national team and I wish him all the best. :)
Anyway... the Eurovision tonight! My enjoyment greatly affected by my own issues and the presence of last year’s stuck-up winner. The performance order is really annoying as well.. My top faves are right after each other... a string of calm songs at the beginning, followed by a string of upbeat ones... It's just SO uneven. And no matter what people want to tell themselves, performance order DOES matter. A clear winner will win regardless of order, but it could have an important effect on songs that aren't overwhelmingly popular/unpopular with the viewing audience (and jury?). The ones that stick out either on their own or amongst others (IMO) will have a better chance, but yeah, we'll see. :) I'll root for my faves and Finland, possibly other good ones and for Germany to be rock bottom. Sadly, I don't think I'll be pleased with the results, so I'll try to just enjoy the performances and show, like I always do regardless of the result.
EDIT: just got a message from the teacher that he accepted my thesis, and while he thought it had its definite weaknesses, he liked my own thoughts on it, so my mark won't be as crappy as he originally intended it to be. (I don't think he was too bothered by the good 50 seconds to spare but definitely by the tons of mistakes... yay. It's not only the fact that my German is pretty weak, but also the fact that I can't type properly and always run out of time... so I can't proofread it more than once. *sighs* Yeah.. I as a person am a whole package of weaknesses)
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[Wednesday
March 16th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
Couldn't sleep last night.. unrelated to the following stuff. Just when I thought that things would be getting better... I get ambushed again. But I should have less pain in a few days.
anyway -Bayern... Oh gosh.. I had a feeling that they would lose, but I actually started to have hope when I watched them play... until the squandered chances and Robben being subbed... So when Inter scored in the last few minutes I wasn't really shocked. Just disappointed. Oh well, I will survive. At least there's Spurs and Schalke to cheer for. (Btw. IMO Inter's first goal was offside, but I'm not going to speculate. Bayern had a ton of chances to make up for that. They didn't. Hoping for them to get the CL spot, so they can try again next year... with whatever coach they have then..)
-GLEE!!! Almost made up for my disapointment yesterday. I've learned not to expect too much from that TV show (esp. after the Blame It On The Alcohol ep), so I was positively surprised. Yay for the entertaining & confusing splash with a lot of heart in it. :) Still feeling smiley after THAT scene (and I need smiley now). :) And in general there was quite a bit of cuteness, awesomeness and just plain hilarity packed together(and it worked). Oh, and even some angst... Although overall it didn't feel like an angsty episode. can't believe I have to wait a whole friggin month now. GAAH.
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| Updating after busy week |
[Saturday
March 12th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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restless |
] |
Yo! Posting this on my new laptop! Actually I’m not a big fan. It’s much slower and since it’s a mini-laptop, it’s missing some features like a CD slot, and the keyboard is VERY small. But I never really knew how to type properly anyway. (It’s just a bit harder now) also it’s mainly for compatible use, as in: taking it with me to places, like now: my parent’s place, where I’ll be spending quite a bit of time during the pipe renovation (and eventually will have to move temporarily). I’ve been spending quite a bit of time here now, since I had to get away for a while, and without the internet I actually got some studying done(I had two days before a test) AND read books, which I greatly appreciated. ( school, Black Swan, football, stuff ) -Finally: My thoughts and prayers with the people, ones of the victims of the disasters in Japan. :(
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[Monday
February 14th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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sick |
] |
UGH. Bachelor's Thesis part 1: finished. At least finished until the teacher decides that he can't accept my piece of crap (because it really is a piece of crap). Anyway, I suppose I'll have my presentation on Wednesday and hopefully then another month to finish "the final version". I honestly know that it could have been a lot better, but I just could not foresee the difficulties I'd have! I even pulled an all-nighter working my ass off, but STILL couldn't finish it (and by then I was already late) and luckily the teacher gave me some extra time. I still could have used another few days... Just working. Though honestly.. after 34 hours... I don't know... I think I could use a rest or something. I honestly don't feel even good about working that hard(and it's a first!), probably because the result was really THAT bad. I read the crap through and felt sick at my own language and writing skills. It was just SAD. On other stuff: -Stupid Glee spoiler (and I was on such a high too after the Valentine's day ep, which I LOVED.. speaking of which I guess it's that day today, but I don't wish it. XPP) -We have our contestant for the Eurovision! I'm personally proud of guessing the top 3 in the right order. I don't think the kid will have a chance though, but he was prob. the best of the lot over here. -Bayern is now known as FC Robben, but I don't care as long as they win. (well.. actually, I do. Come on, guys!) -OMG, CL GAMES STARTING TOMORROW. SPURS AGAINST AC MILAN. Also it's on TV over here, so no crappy streams. (I'll record it, since I'll miss the beginning if I'm well enough to go training) -I'm fat and it's REALLY cold outside...
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| We are young. We are strong. We are not looking for where we belong. |
[Sunday
February 6th, 2011] |
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Please let there not be a question on Karl Marx, please let there not be question on Karl Marx… ah, dammit! I actually managed to read the whole book for the test(+ wrote LOTS of notes), for the first time ever(not counting insane etrance exams) and at least there’s something to be proud of, but of course reading the whole book once doesn’t mean that I remembered everything.. or anything much. I think I would have needed another week to go over everything (like my countless notes) and actually link the right stuff to the right people and in general know a little bit more than just the outlines. But yeah, already studying for a whole week (amidst all the rest of my school work) was quite a big deal, and I hope this means progress and I won’t revert back to my “well, what’s the point studying” if/when I get a mark I usually get when I don’t or hardly study at all. I felt a heck of a lot worse leaving the test than I normally do, because normally I enter the auditorium with a “there’s no way I’ll know anything” and leave with a “I can’t believe I managed to actually answer the questions!”. And now I just felt like I had wasted a lot of time…
Speaking of which: Bachelor’s thesis!! I know I will get slammed anyway. I just witnessed another student being quite heavily criticised by the teacher, and his paper was awesome! So my crap is going to be crap. Honestly, I don’t care as long as I pass, but I’m afraid that I won’t even pass. Anyway, what I have to hand in in about a week, isn’t supposed to be the FINAL version anyway. Checked my next possible tests. Another month. Yay? (And that’s two of them…) ( non school related crap )
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| Short on GGs and films |
[Monday
January 17th, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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weird |
] |
Guess who was late to school today? Guess who didn’t do any schoolwork during the holidays? And I was supposed to do my darn thesis then. Yeah. Now I have two weeks. Oh well. Maybe with school actually back, I will manage to do something? At least I woke up early today and actually stayed awake prompted by my eagerness to check if Chris Colfer had won a Golden Globe. Didn’t want to get my hopes up, so I was positively surprised. (And yay for Glee in general) He’s such an amazing and unique and marvellous individual, and seems like such a genuinely nice and good-hearted person, that one just can’t help but feel that he just DESERVES it for being that person alone. But of course, from what I can tell he’s one heck of an actor as well. :D ( CC~<3~ )
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| Well. Whatever. |
[Saturday
January 1st, 2011] |
| [ |
mood |
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worried |
] |
Honestly, I'll only have one resolution for this year. TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER. Oh, and I suppose I should add "lose weight as well", because that's a continuous thing. :) I actually wanted to spend this holiday catching up with all the shows I missed, because I couldn't watch as much as I wanted to. :) But I didn't. However, I finally managed to tidy up my room, which is a sign for getting things together in general and should mark the start of the New Year that I am going to start with... studying and working on my second attempt of a Bachelor's thesis. I haven't learned that timetables don't work, but my next one is actually more of a JUST DO IT version and relies on me NOT procrastinating for 8 hours. There will be enough free time for me to race through libraries again to gather a pile of books I'll never read (Actually I HAVE read now, though). Seriously... I have books on three different library cards. :) (Of course many ARE school related). Anyway... as long as I can get some sense of accomplishment into my life, even if I can't quite shake off the guilt that has been tormenting me, I think I will be able to enjoy other things in life without feeling like it's something I have to do as well. I know a lot lies with me, but for example the past semester I was faced with issues I couldn't have foreseen. I was sick for a few month with recurring colds, I suffered such a bad rash that I couldn't move my fingers(write)and when my skin peeled off I couldn't touch paper(at least it was very uncomfortable. It still is a little... my hands are quite scaly..).. So it made studying really... difficult. My body was itching all over (it still itches in some places), which was another reason I couldn't sleep. During the last two weeks of school I had a headache EVERY day. In the end I dropped quite a few course, but managed to actually complete six(out of the originally planned 11..), despite my seriously large amount of absences(besides from the courses with a limited amount of allowed absences...). So MUCH better than nothing. Anyway.. I guess I'm trying to explain, why I've been such a crappy commenter. I'll try now to get back to very old comments and stuff of those who haven't defriended me yet. :) I hope to post about more... happy stuff in the future. :) ( random ramble )
Okay. This turned out to be quite long. I'll have to go on a jog before replying to comments... I'll start following my timetable tomorrow… (Things would be a little easier if I hadn’t woken up so LATE. I had set an alarm and placed it on my desk, so I would have to get up to turn it off. Yeah… when I woke up I saw my mobile on the table next to me bed and NO recollection of getting up to turn off the alarm…Amazing start to the New Year!!)
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